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Is lingerie an appropriate birthday gift for my girlfriend?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2016) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2016)
A male Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

we've been dating for 6 months. we're really close and intimate. Were both 23. We had sex for the first time a few nights ago. She having a birthday party coming up im thinking about giving lingerie for her birthday.

I'm wanting something on the classy side - not so much trashy...don't want to convey the wrong message.

I'm thinking a nice matching bra and panty set or something....? Thoughts?

ideas?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntSo many things could go wrong with this. I understand after six months it is still early enough days but am sure you could stretch to a but of jewelry or perfume.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (17 October 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntI think it's ok but I would also steer clear of anything fitting like a bra. Get one too small and you'll offend her by her thinking you think she is that small, get one too big and shell think she's too small. Instead I would go for something more along the lines of a stretchy lace babydoll/teddy kind of thing. Accompany it with a nice bottle of perfume, that way if people ask she can tell them, a nice bottle of perfume.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (17 October 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt I am one of those women who love lingerie and love wearing nice lingerie for themselves , also if there are no men to show it off , ( also because mine is pretty uninventive and un-showy , either black or white,... ) so in theory I should say: great idea. In practice, it's not. Lingerie has got to look nice but also be comfortable ; it has to fit well . And bras, you don't know how they will look on you or feel on you, unless you try them on. Even if you knew her exact bra size, from one brand to another it could look totally different on her. So, I'd let her choose her lingerie by herself, and give her something else. Jewelry, or cosmetics,maybe. Or, actually, something more personal, more related to her hobbies and interests, which you should by know at least have a fair idea about .

If you are still stuck for ideas, maybe you can go windowshopping together and take note of when she says : Oh look at that ! :)

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntI think it's too soon for lingerie - and, as Honeypie said, it's more a present for the partner, not the receiver, unless the receiver *asked* for it.

Lingerie is *very* personal.

Stick to something she'll like and is for her only. Maybe ask her for a couple of ideas, but it shouldn't be very expensive yet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2016):

A lot of women don't like being given lingerie because it's not for us is it? It's for us to wear for the gift giver.

Jewellery tends to go down well as we can show off earings/ a bracelet/necklace to friends and family.

If you insist on buying lingerie get something good quality as it will be more comfortable and make sure you don't get a size bigger than she is or she won't be happy.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 October 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Ciar.

SO many ways lingerie can go wrong. Wrong size (she will think you think she is fat or whatever) Wrong color (she will think you don't know her) Wrong type (she will think you want her to be more/less slutty) etc.

And let's not forget... lingerie to a woman from a man... is NOT for the woman, but for the man to ENJOY on the woman...

So instead I'd give her something that will REMIND her of you for the rest of her life (or as long as she keeps that item). Make it something SHE enjoys, a hobby or the likes.

Asking her for a few suggestions IS OK. You have only been together for 6 months.

I'd wait for the lingerie to a "just because" present. Or if she point some out to you and tells you that it's gorgeous.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (16 October 2016):

Ciar agony auntI recommend you steer clear of lingerie for a number of reasons. Women are very picky about their under garments and often times all this frilly fancy stuff is just not comfortable or practical. And you'd have to know her size and she might not be comfortable sharing that.

No doubt others will ask what you bought her (nosy, yes, but some will ask) and I'm not sure you or she wants to have that discussion with others.

Something nice, but not quite so intimate would be better. You could even ask her if she wants anything in particular. You're not expected to be a mind reader.

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