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I'm crushing on a stripper!

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 5 June 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Went to a male strip club with a friend and had a blast! We weren't there for anything but dancing and the shows. I was dancing with my friend when I turned around and saw two very sweet blue eyes. He was a new dancer who seemed kinda serious and shy on stage. I smiled and asked him his name, he told me and said he was new. He danced with me and said he got nervous dancing sometimes. I said me too and we both laughed. I got shy though and walked off but we kept smiling at each other from across the room. I'm smitten! It's his job to flirt I know but this didn't feel like an act...I would like to get to know him but how do I break through his profession?

View related questions: crush, flirt, shy, stripper

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (5 June 2015):

Anonymous 123 agony auntIt was an act most likely. OK just to make you happy, lets say it wasn't and he really liked you. So in that case...would you be fine dating a stripper? Knowing that he does this to earn a living, that other women see him naked and he flirts with attractive females and even sleeps with them if necessary, for money?

Snap out of it OP. You are just getting carried away. He knew you were interested in him. That's his profession. He HAS to keep you interested. He's not doing it because he likes you, he's doing it because he's getting paid to do it. If he keeps you interested then you go back again...hence more $$$ for the club.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2015):

"It's his job to flirt I know but this didn't feel like an act . . ."

It IS an act; like any actor, it's his job to make it look like he's not acting.

Strippers of either gender earn their livings by extracting as much cash as possible from their customers, and and like any commission salesperson the most successful are those who sell the most goods or services to the most customers.

Most successful salespersons, regardless of their product, are blessed with the ability to read people and relate to them one-on-one, thus making any given individual among their dozens of customers feel "special."

To him it was just another day at the office and you were just another anonymous customer in an unending stream, he has as much personal interest in you as the dentist who cleans your teeth or the mechanic who changes your oil.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (5 June 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntIt sounds like he's excellent at his profession! I would smile and remember the nice time at the club and then I would snap out of it and go back to reality.

If this was a man writing in I'd give the same advice.

If you are an heiress or have a lot of disposable income you could go back to the strip club and see if you can get more info on him. The thing is, these places are designed to part you from your money. The dancers have to make goo goo eyes at customers as they rely on tips for most of their income.

You could go back, hand him your number and leave. But I would not put too much hope into a good outcome here.

Another thought is to get a job at the club, not necessarily as a stripper, and just get to know all the people who work there. You'll get a much better idea about how the dancers and your crush get through their jobs.

If I were your mother or sister or BFF? I'd tell you to snap out of it. You're thinking with your ovaries.

But by all means work through this infatuation and see where it goes. Good luck!

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (5 June 2015):

Garbo agony auntMen in that business are interested in two things: making money and having sex with as many different women as possible. If you think that this guy is different, it's an act with which he wants to bed as many women as possible. If you met this dude outside of his business, perhaps, but everything that you experienced with him is not real and is all designed.

So, if you are looking for ONS then get hold of him. If you are looking for a BF he isn't the one.

BTW, I have a relative who was in this business and besides money, being paid to have sex with women, his only other interest was to spend the money on snoring coke. He was a high flyer who told me so many wild things but now he is a painter.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 June 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntYou're most likely caught up in a fantasy that seems so lifelike that you feel a need to act upon it but to be safe back off and take a long sober look at yourself. Men fall for female strippers all the time and then find out later that most are lesbians. Be carefull you could get burnt real bad

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntSkip this one.

Seriously. He will soon be used to ALL those gawking females and enjoy it.

And OF COURSE it didn't feel like an act. He is still new. All this attention is new to him and so far he hasn't figured out JUST how much money he can make by turning on the charms, but it will come.

Why do I say this? Well, I knew a girl who worked as a stripper. In the beginning she enjoyed the attention but it went from enjoying it to grinning and bearing it to downright loathing of guys. Being regarded as a piece of meat to ogle at, hoot at and the name calling and inappropriate propositions got to her. It paid for her college and as soon as she was done she left THAT part of her life behind. I don't think a male stripper thinks radically different than a female. Though... he might be treated a bit different.

So I'd say pass this hubba hubba hunk up... unless you met him outside of his job and get to know the REAL guy behind the stripper persona.

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