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She wants us to start again. What would be the best thing to do?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, Online dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2016) 7 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2016)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing my girl for nearly a year.

My pal is on a dating site POF. He told me my girlfriends photo profile came up in a search, so I checked it out for myself.

He wasnt lying. It said she had logged in within the last 24 hours.

I asked her about it and she went ballistic, first of all calling me a liar, then it changed to my pal put it there to break us up, and then it changed again to her just doing it for a laugh because her friend does it.

Now she has started blaming me, for not paying her enough attention which I totally dispute, because I feel, if anything it is the other way round.

After a couple of weeks she has now calmed down her anger and wants us to start again. What would be the best thing to do?

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A female reader, princessparkles United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2016):

princessparkles agony auntsay no.she didnt want to admit that she was dating other peple behind you back and that means shes just not good enough for you

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (3 May 2016):

She's already lying. Move on.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 April 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntDon't take her back. She could not admit what she had done wrong, she was on a dating site, and who knows who she has met from him. She cannot be trusted. I think you know that deep down. You are better off without her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2016):

Did you ever question if she had met anyone off the site?

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (29 April 2016):

Anonymous 123 agony auntThe best thing to do is to just wish her well and walk away. She's a cheat, a liar, abusive, manipulative and an opportunist. Are these the qualities that you want in a girlfriend? I should hope not!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (29 April 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Dump her. Pronto. Maybe if she had reacted differently when she got caught red handed... pleading temporary insanity :).... or at least admitting that, whatever her reason for putting up her profile, it was a bad decision, apologizing and promising to never do that again... perhaps you could have worked things out from there.

But, she gets caught, and first, SHE gets mad ( ! ) , then she lies to yor face, and then she blames it on you ?...

Ah yes : the best defense is attack. It's an old strategy. But that's what it is , a strategy. Of someone who wants to win a power game, not that wants to have a healthy loving relationship with you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntTo not start again.

She has taken no responsibility for what she did. She lied and blamed first your friend, then HER friends, then you. She was mad that she got caught. And there is no signs of remorse.

Seriously.

I'm sorry, I would NOT give her another chance. I'd wish her well and cut the contact.

Don't waste your time on someone who can't OWN their own mistakes and action.

Let's say for a minute she wasn't looking to cheat. That she was doing it for shits and grins. HOW is that OK? To use other people who are seriously looking for a partner, but she just wants some attention and entertainment... It was a game to her. To her it was not a big deal. It's cold and callous. And... I wouldn't be surprised if she would do it again.

Let her go. Find a girl who WANTS the same as you do, a monogamous partner.

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