A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Question for the women. Can you sleep with the same person for nearly six months and have no attachment to them? Is it likely? I've been sleeping with the same girl for that span of time in a fwb situation. We spend the night weekly and talk every day. When something comes up in passing, she reaffirms we are just friends. Yet when I use my phone in front of her, like last night, she sounds jealous, asking "who are you texting? What girl? Nevermind, I don't want to know." And we also cuddle most morning when we wake up. Can you ladies refrain from feelings after this length of time?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2016): Male anon (the commenter), the pain will not get better when you "start hating her". The pain will get worse as hate is as strong an emotion as love. Hate and anger can be part of the process of a break up. but eventually you have to let it go and get on with your life to truly heal. Sorry someone hurt you so badly.
Male anon, the questioner, I think it is hard for most people to not form some kind of an attachment after six months, but an attachment does not equal love. Why don't you ask her how she really feels about your fwb relationship? If I were in that situation I would want my fwb to talk to me about his/her feelings and concerns.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 April 2016):
 To the last male anon,
Why so much hate for this woman? The OP and her have a FWB (or rather CASUAL relationship) I think it's kind of double standard to judge her so severely when they BOTH seem to have been OK with entering into a FWB/Casual "thing".
Now maybe the OP have caught feelings, who knows? He didn't explain WHY they are "only" FWB and not dating. So it could have BEEN HIS choice to have it on the DL/FWB - that doesn't make her some kind of bad woman or person.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2016): Hate to say this , she is using you till something else comes along, doesn't matter how good you treat her, you are here boy toy, she can dump you , just like that an it won't bother her a bit,men do it too,cause she has no feelings for you,I know it happened to me four months ago, dump her, before she dumps you, but I learned now, just don't walk away, tell her what you think, but don't be nice about it, tell her what kind of woman she really is, block her in every way, it will take time, am just going through the stage of hating her, she doesn't deserve you, I know how it feels, the pain will get better, when you start hating her, I know you love her, but she doesn't love you, good luck, I know I sound cold hearted but, they make us feel that way
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2016): For someone like me it's impossible. Sex is more emotional for me than physical. I won't be able to have sex if I have no feeling for the guy. For that reason I have never had any causal relationship with anyone and it's hard to understand how some woman can do. Personally I don't know anyone like your friend,she may pretend too. I have seen than some woman try to play cool so they can keep the guy interested. If you are interested in a realtionship just tell her and then you will find out!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2016): Yes, its entirely possible to separate love and sex and can become more so as we get older. I've had a friends with benefits relationship for 9 years and it works well. Neither one of us confuses our sex benefits with our relationship and we see other people and have sex. One does have to compartmentalize the sex and certainly not fall in love with the partner but enjoy the relationship and partner for what it is. We also have to be mature. Good luck with your future relationships.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 April 2016):
 I think a few kinds of people are able to do this. Ones who are incapable of loving, which sounds ironic because it's not that staying unattached is a skill. I certainly would find it a turn off that some people are so anti relationships.
The other kind is people who have their hearts somewhere else, like an ex, a deployed spouse in another country, or being cheaters themselves. They become so good at compartmentalizing people that they see them only good for one purpose each.
The 3rd kind is people who are out of long term relationships and see no benefits in them. They want freedom and they place passion and excitement well above security and comfort.
At the end I don't really thing there is one kind that attaches to people, the other kind that can remain cold. It's always life events that lead people to different choices. For example getting their hearts broken so they can't open up again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 April 2016):
I have no doubt some people (both men and women) are quite capable of this.
And not liking you text in front her of isn't about her CARING about you... it's about her caring ABOUT her ego.
It IS more common that a woman will use sex in hopes to get a guy to commit, than a man. But if she JUST wants sex from you, then sex with you is all she is looking for.
Could I sleep with someone for 6 months and not get attached? I don't think so, I can't say for sure as I have never done casual sex. If I didn't feel a guy was "good enough" to day, he wouldn't be "good enough" to sleep with. Doesn't mean all women feel that way.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (23 April 2016):
 Of course it's possible! It's an FWB and the length of timev you spend sleeping with someone has nothing to do with developing feelings. That's the things about FWBs', all that sex and no attachment. Someone is bound to get hurt sooner or later and in this case, it looks like it's going to be you because you seem to be getting emotionally invested in this woman.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (23 April 2016):
 Oh, for sure- Love and sex can be kept separate. Uncomplicated sex is just as much a turn on as one that comes with emotion.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (23 April 2016):
 Sure, why not ? Not all women can keep love and " fun " separated, but some certainly can.
It happens more often when the guy is likeable ,enjoyable, even adorable, yet there is nonetheless some big dealbreaker that would make him not fit for long term , or husband . Like, too young , too old, too poor, he's an Hell's Angel and the girl's parents would die if she brought him home, stuff like that.
If the guy happens to belong to the " wrong " ( wrong according very individual, subjective parameters ) age bracket - social class- educational background- religion etc. etc.- it's easier, for some people even automatic, to remain romantically uninvolved and to keep things simple and in the moment.
Do not take becoming possessive and territorial with falling in love. It's rather normal to develop some sort of attachment to persons and situations you got used too. Ever seen how mad people get when they find "their " usual parking spot occupied by another car ?... And obviously I do not mean a preassigned, reserved parking spot- just a public spot in your street which generally happens to be free when you park your car, and you have no particular right upon. And still- nobody likes " his " or " her " things to be tampered with.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2016):
 This is not about what ladies are capable of versus what men are capable of. This is about how many people, both male and female, are capable of separating sex from love. Not many can do this. I rarely meet any men who can do it, and I rarely meet any women who can do it. But some can, such as myself, and I have encountered a few others through time also.
PS. Do NOT confuse jealousy with love. A jealous person is not in love, and jealousy is not a sign of affection or love. A person might not give a rats ass about you or care anything for you, and yet act jealous around you. This is because jealous people are selfish and don't want anyone else to have what they have, despite them not caring about the person they have. Jealous people treat their partners like objects, possessions. You do not love your x-box, but you might still not like someone else to play on it if you're a possessive person. Hope you get what Im saying.
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