A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is this normal, or have they crossed the line?I write this while my tears are still as fresh as the memories itself..Yesterday, I was told "if you keep talking back, you wont have computer priveledges tomorrow"I wasn't talking back, but I shut up anyways. Today, I go on the computer, wanting to figure out stuff about the school play, unwind, and talk to my long distance friends.My stepdad comes in and yells at me to get off now, so I ask why, and he pulls me out of the chair and pushes the button on the computer to manually turn it off, deleting the saved data I had for a pic I was drawing. He told me I had no computer priveleges, and called my mom, who pretty much twisted her words to fit her husband, saying she never said "if you dont stop".So I was upset, but I went to my room, to my DSi, which I can access sites like this and a few others, although it's not to useful.At the dinner table, I was quiet, and when I went to do the dishes, I noticed there was some food left and I put it away so I could eat it for lunch. Got yelled at for that, called ^^^^ing stupid, and sent to my room, a few minutes later, mom comes n and yells at me for not talking, finally I tell her that her and her husband were a big cause of my self esteem issues, that I sometimes used to question my value, and my reason for being alive, she said she didn't care and called me a Fucking idiot...It stung horribly, but is any of this ok in her defense? Or his? =/ I want to be fair if I yell at them or talk to the school counselor on monday...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2011): Talk to the counselor.Verbal and emotional abuse are unacceptable, and you need someone to help you through it. Avoid being too dramatic in your recounting the story, but don't hide how you feel. I say this only as I've seen people who needed support not be taken seriously because of a flair for expressing themselves.Tell the counselor about your home life, and be honest with yourself and then about how often this sort of thing happens. Do not mistake me, it's NEVER okay, but how they help you relies on them knowing the facts.If you're scared, tell them why and of what. Are you ever intimidated physically, or mostly verbally? What is the impact that they have on your life?Talk to the counselor about what's hurting you, what you want changed, and what you think is possible given what you know of your situation.Have them in your corner, and keep in touch. I hope this helps. You don't deserve to be abused, /no matter what/.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (23 October 2011):
What you can do which is what I did, is move out when you reach adulthood. I got a job and my own place the first chance I got and its much better than living with my parents.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 This does sound like emotional abuse, do you walk on eggshells around your mum and stepdad??
Also, if he has physically grabbed you and pulled you out of a chair, then this can be classed as physical abuse even though there are no lasting marks on your body. Nothing gives him the right to lay his hands on you when he is angry!!!
School councellor sounds like the best idea for now, at least you can open up about your feelings and you will be taken seriously!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): Its emotional abuse. I went through it with my rents as well. HAs nothing to do w/neglect.. Physically anyways. Just like in relationships, some men give their women everything but emotionally abuse them.. But after its done theyre all sweet as pie and loving and nice. Its the stages of manipulation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, everyone. I keep questioning wether or not I shpuld do something, because they do provide me with tv, a computer (on occasion), a cell, a home, food, and clothes, and they're not always bad, it's kinda like they forget the next day and are nice again...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 October 2011):
If talking to someone doesn't get you anywhere, yelling won't either. Especially if it's your own mother. You seem to be suffering from quite serious emotional abuse to be honest, so I would definitely recommend speaking to your school counsellor.
For what it's worth, I kind of know how you feel. I once said to my Dad that I felt like killing myself, and all I got was "You do come out with some crap don't you". I decided that I'd not bother telling him how I felt again, and just focus on my life where possible. I feel a billion times better now, so I know that you can come out of this a much better, kinder, stronger person. Your life does mean something, and there is so much more that you have to experience that is much better than what you're going through now.
So please do speak to your counsellor abut how you feel. Also, if your parents are this bad, maybe look to get away from them. They have no defence to treat you this way. At all. And it would be a shame for you to go through life feeling unworthy or questioning your value just because you have shit parents.
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A
male
reader, Xearo +, writes (22 October 2011):
Talk to the counsellor on Monday. If you yell at your parents they will be more angry at you. I do not know why they blame you and throw all their anger at you but it is not right to take this verbal abuse. Find the courage in yourself to get those with power involved.
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