A
female
age
30-35,
*ylassie10
writes:So I am just looking for people's general opinions and how they would deal in this situation. Im really sorry its long! I had a crush on a teacher who wasnt actually my teacher, in high school. I honestly cant explain the feeling. It wasnt just a little crush. The more I got to know him the more I liked him and I honestly felt like he liked me too by what he would say and how he looked and smiled at me BUT he was always professional about everything. After I graduated I kept in touch with him and would visit from time to time. In my freshmen year of college, we ended up talking about relationships in general and at one point he said, "we need to find you someone older who has a good job..nah we cant do that right. What am I supposed to say..o I met X in school?"..my heart sank. I didnt say anything then but I ended up emailing him and telling him how I felt..he responded back saying that it was really nice of me to say what I said and that he's a professional and he doesnt want to jeopardize anything and I completely respected him and basically knew thats what he would sayI still kept in touch with him and the next time I saw him we brought up what I said and he said you understand why right?. And then he said..maybe Ill run into you at a club in a few years ( I was 18 at this time)...well we kept in touch until my sophmore year of college and then I stopped for awhile because it was too hardAnother opportunity presented itself when I emailed him after about a year of not talking and he said he was going away to a place nearby where I was vacationing at. I asked him if he would like to meet up and catch up..he gave me his # and said ok...we never ended up meeting. He seemed to avoid it but he knew I was with my parents and I dont think he felt comfortable with it. He said lets meet up back at home..itll be easier that way..never heard from him after that...it hurt me a lot and I was doing ok with everything..until his friend facebooked me and said that he told him about me and that I was his type. He wanted to meet up with me but it never happened and I dont think I could anyway because I have feelings for the teacher not himAbout 2 years went by with no contact..and then one day last year..someone beeps next to me in my lane..and it was him..we rolled down the windows and made small talk..he asked if I was married yet and I said no and he said are you close and I said no and I asked him if he was and he said nah, you know me..I emailed him that night and said it was nice seeing him again and asked what he was doing for the summer..he kept it very short and didnt seem to care but then again..he always did in emails im assuming because he didnt want to get in trouble if they were ever found which is smart.I didnt speak to him for over a year after that..I then one day, about another year later, was going through my phone this summer and I still had his number. I decided to text him and pretend like I was transferring #s in my phone and wanted to know who it was. I wanted to try to make small talk without looking like Im still sadly stuck on him. He responded back saying youre the one who texted me dont you know who youre texting?..I figured he didnt know it was me..I then said im sorry but i got a new phone and your # was stored under "X" (the first initial of his last name) and I didnt rememeber who it was..he said im sure if you think hard enough..youll figure out who it is...i thought he was a douche since that told me he knew who it was and he was being an ass. I didnt text him after that and didnt want to be obvious. I decided I would just never try to contact him again. But honestly, I think about him every day..I never thought I would still like him after graduating high school 5 years ago!So yesterday, it was my high school homecoming and it made me think about him. I was thinking about how he said 4 years ago that maybe well run into each other and I told myself if were meant to be, God will let us meet again..well last night..the SAME DAY I WAS THINKING THIS, I was at a bar and I see someone walk past me and I thought I was dillusional when I saw someone who looked like him walk past me..I decided to drag my friend with me to find out..and it was him. He lives about a half hour away in another county, over a bridge where theres plenty of bars and I wouldnt think he would come to my area.I stood right near him and looked at him. He saw me and just looked at me for a good 5 seconds and he seemed kind of hesitant and shocked at the same time. He said hi and gave me a kiss on the cheek. We made small talk and he kept looking at my guy friend and i introduced them. I asked him what he was doing in my area and he said hes always at the bar that we were at just not as late. He kept the conversation very short and said ok have a good night, gave me a kiss on the cheek and I walked away..I had such butterflies and I felt my face getting red...I couldnt get him out of my head and had a little too much to drink to make myself feel better (didnt work), and still cant. Its obvious that he doesnt care anymore but I just find the coincidence to be too crazy that I was just thinking if were meant to be well run into each other and the same day it happens!..and hes still single. There is really nothing I can do though. It would have to be him, he has my contact info but I doubt he will. Its just not fair. I cant help how I feel and ive had bfs and dated many guys but none I ever really liked and not a day has gone by since high school, that I havent thought about him and I honestly cant say what it is about him that he has me hooked so bad. I just know that if we didnt meet in high school, something would happen and I would at least know if we would be good together not so I can get over it. Im 22 now and hes 30. The age is not bad and ive dated guys his age and a little older. But I honestly cant blame him. It would be too difficult to tell people when they ask howd you meet your gf?..he wouldnt be able to tell any teachers in the high school and everyone else would think hes crazy. He cant get fired for it but people would mostly likely think he may have had something for me while I was in high school and a minor. What would you guys do in my position to get over this..I honestly think Ill always have something for him but when I see him, its torture when nothing comes out of it and Ill be stuck on it for awhile. Im always a realistic person and I admit that I think im crazy for feeling this way for a teacher I met in my high school but I just cant seem to get rid of it... I wouldve rather not seen him ever again so it wouldnt be so hard..walking away from him was so painful for me to do.
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female
reader, mylassie10 +, writes (23 October 2011):
mylassie10 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you guys for taking the time to answer my question. You both make valid points and I completely agree with both of you. I'm sure or at least im hoping, one day when I meet someone and actually fall love, I won't even think about him and if I do, Ill look back and think what was it that I liked so much about this guy?
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (23 October 2011):
These feelings you have seem more like an obsession of an idea to me but a lot of people experienced this including myself and it is not easy to over come I am sure.
You have the power in yourself to move on from it. Recycling these thoughts you have will not bring any deeper understanding of the past. Indeed it drives us crazy to want something more when we can't have, perhaps this is normal for human nature these days.
The feelings you have are real and indeed can never be replicated again but that is the beauty of having feelings for someone, that they will always be unique. Understand that you are still young and there is someone out there that will make you feel even more special than you do but ofc not in the same way that you did when you were a teenager...so many things have changed since then including your maturity.
Being a guy, I've been there myself. To move on, you need only to chose to move on and follow it. I try to acknowledge the present and refrain from entertaining memories and analysing those out comes. I try more to focus on the future and new faces I will meet. It is more fun and makes me happy to think of the future, because with a good direction good things will happen for me. And I wish for you too that good things will happen for you, you deserve someone right for you :)
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 Honestly I think this is a dead duck. It's had so many opportunites to develop and nothing has happened. Move on and forget this man while you are pinning after him you are closed off to other opportunites that are passing you by.
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