A
female
age
36-40,
*oncerned28
writes:Why does my man of 4 years watch porn every time we have sex? Is there anyone else experiencing the same thing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2013): What is wrong in watching porn by men or women? Perhaps the man is interested in different positions and do it accordingly.If he get pleasure in seeing porn videos his wife may leave it.He may get arousal if he watch porn movies.Doing intercourse is much more than porn movies.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (24 June 2013):
 Prob becoz hes used to that stimulation n needs it to get off. That can hurt ur confidence but talk to him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013): Porn is really only good for two main reasons..
1.) to give couples an idea for the bedroom
2.) for a guy/girl to have their "personal solo release"
Other than that, maybe he wants to encourage the mood, to get you more into the eros part of sex, after all it is just sex. But I see where your coming from, just leave the porn on standby on the laptop, TMI for you as well
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 June 2013):
 Yikes! Yes, I have heard of that before, and I can say with certainty that it's because he's addicted to porn. He uses it to the point that regular sex doesn't stimulate him enough. Like the addict, he became desensitized and must have more and more porn to achieve the "high".
Has he also had problems with Erectile Dysfunction if he doesn't watch porn during sex, or even if he does?
Overuse of porn burns out the normal means of arousal, which is why he is watching it while having sex with you. In some people, they seek out more extreme or fetish porn because they've become that desensitized.
This website http://www.yourbrainonporn.com is fantastic for explaining this phenomenon and how to break free of that desensitization. It doesn't talk about the morality of porn...in fact, it doesn't judge its use at all. It directly addresses desensitization in men (women too...there are those women who indeed become dependent on porn) and how to reboot the brain and sexual response.
You've got to talk to him about this. While it can be common for a couple to watch porn together to become aroused or to spice up their sex life, it's not normal to NEED to watch porn while in the sex act with your partner. You have the right to say something, because it's obvious that by posting here for advice, it does bother you.
Rest assured, the problem isn't with you. It's not because of your attractiveness or the length of your relationship. He's become addicted and desensitized. In some guys, they can't have an orgasm through intercourse because they've become too used to having one through masturbation. A reboot does wonders for both of those examples.
You must talk to him about it, and about how it makes you feel, and if he's receptive, show him the site. It may be that he is nervous about not being able to perform with you because in the back of his mind, he's desensitized already.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 June 2013):
 Does he watch it DURING sex? After or before sex?
And have you talked to him about it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013): Maybe its to get his juices flowing.
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