A
female
age
36-40,
*aby12
writes:i am in a relationship with my guy for the last 5 years. for the most part sadly, it has been an LDR.since 2012, we have been arguing and fighting over petty issues because of communication gap .... but this is true that we have been madly inlove .it is typical of my BF, that he blames me for every fight every argument , he never says sorry it is always me who makes it up . every time we fight he wud say i dnt want to be with you .......twice he broke up with me because he was pissed off and after continuous nagging from my side, he got back to me and later when i says that's not the way to handle arguments, he would say ... i was mad and pissed off thats y i broke up otherwise where wud i go without you...but this is true ... he is verbally abusive and he never says sorry , never apologizes and he thinks he is never wrong and whatever he does and behaves, it is basically reaction of my actions only.(btw i do have panic attacks and negativity attacks because of my LDR)anyway, three days ago we had fight, i sneaked in his FB of his relatives with fake ID and found out something which he had kept hidden from me.... which i wud say was a betrayal or insincerity. when i confronted he asked me the source and i told him abt FB . he started abusing me and called me "**** who SNIFFS AROUND" when he asked that why u kept me in dark in that particular issue and he said i did nt betray you ... i just did nt share that thing ... and abused me alot and said get lost and die i dnt wanna be near to you who has a habit of sniffing around etc and when i stopped you of making your FB why did u do that blah blah blah ...i am deleting you ... which he did not ....routine practice in such scenarios is , i keep begging and asking him to talk and come online and say sorry and tell him to gimme a chance and so on and usually after a month of tantrums ( that he comes online and says i dont want to be with you bla bla and then gets back to normal)but this time , i did not do anything ( btw we were planning to date next month i was going to see him in the country where he lives and he was managing all that). after one day, i wrote him an email... politely and nicely apologized for overstepping and crossing the line as he never wanted me to use FB or so ....then i said i wud have begged u and digested your abuses if i had nt come to know abt that thing and as my man, you had given me all rights and i am so hurt and feel cheated.but anyway stay happy and blessed in life and i finally left.next day he wrote to me .......no matter how much you feel victimized but it is true that we both did mistakes thats how it ends.for the first time ever. he accepted his mistake as well.honestly i want us to get back but not in the same break up makeup pattern ....( btw that cheating thing is abt the issue that can be handled)so need advice ..... DO WE STILL HAVE CHANCE???
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (26 July 2013):
 This sounds very toxic. No I dont think you have a chance. The pattern will repeat.
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