A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend now for 6 months. Prior to getting closer, he explained early on that he's had 2 sexual encounters. One was oral (received/given) and the other was actual sex. He doesn't count it as real sex because the girl got on top of him and put the condom on him (making it seem like she initiated it). He said it barely counts as he went soft and she finished him with a hand job. Aside from knowing too many details back then, it still was technically his first time and that's what hurts. I was a virgin when we met and while we've had sex already, knowing he's been with others now hits me more. He's said he was never full naked with them and neither they with him; how I'm the first he's seen completely naked and how he feels so comfortable where I was the first to see him all nude. (He was always self conscious about his body.)I know not to blame him and I've told him I don't mean to. We've talked about this and yet I find myself wishing I did more before meeting him. I am not saying to go crazy and sleep around (I never believed in acting out before so) but I wish I could also be able to say I had experience and a hook up if you will. I had plenty of chances and never gave in so I know it was always there.My problem is that he sees me as wife material. He has discussed this and I know his jealous/possessive personality (he is a sweetheart and treats me well nonetheless) jumped for joy when he had the luxury of not worrying about me with someone before. I was literally a clean slate! I never had an idea of being with a virgin but would've understood if his experience was with his ex gf of 2 years, not casual encounters! He's told me the ex and him never were physical so I am the first girlfriend and his one true love he says. I believe him but can't see myself settling down for life with someone when I have never experience anyone else beside him! What does this say of me if I wish I could pause time, experience those things, and go back to him? That I'm selfish? Think too much of myself? Thank you for your time and readng. Any advice is truly appreciated.
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condom, ex girlfriend, hand-job, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mkateko  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Exprience doesn't count in relationship, forget about such, focus on him. You are the best as you are, you just have befferent exprience as far as relationships are consend by you are the more important that way. Why should you body be known by other guy/s before the one to thing of marriege. You are even luck as he see you being wife material. Be happy of what you are expriementing with him.
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (11 July 2013):
 You're not being selfish. You're just obsessing over something incredibly ridiculous. Why not just enjoy the relationship that you're in and the experiences that you're having together. You both have a different past, but what should count is the right now.
You say he's jealous and possessive? Sounds like you've got a much bigger issue to deal with.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Relax sweets. You are missing the big picture. Hes wanting you. Sees you in his future. The past is irrelevant. Hes practically inexperienced n has plenty to learn trust me n u two can teach each other! Get out of the past.
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A
female
reader, tendersmile  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 no you are not selfish, u just want to feel equally experienced as him. Its strange and its funny but you do feel a little inferiority complex at times when in love, its a heightened feeling for sense of approval. thats what i think, n i think you should understand that u are more valued as less experienced
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