A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a while ago come off a diet where I lost a lot of weight. Until then I had been very obese since childhood and never seemed to attract the opposite sex. However, now it is looking like that has changed and since my weight loss, I am finding that girls are looking and at times smiling at me.As I am new to this, I would like readers opinion on the following. Lately, when walking at night in busy nightlife areas and also by day in shopping malls and some busy department stores, I find that when many girls walk past me, their arm or side of their body bangs into me(I keep walking straight as before). I can't be sure, but I don't recall this happening before I lost weight. I have never been told "sorry". But on the other hand, they have also never complained to me, even though some of those bangings, can be quite hard when I am walking quickly. With one exception, when a girl, without even turning back, told her friends "ow, that hurt!". I have never seen any of them turning back to me. They just keep going as if nothing occurred.So boys, does this happen to you. Girls, do you do this unintentionally on purpose to get a cute guy's attention. And do readers think it is intentional, and I would have a head start getting her phone number or otherwise? Some are really hot! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2015): I guess you did some work on yourself
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): OP here: Wise owl, from my experience there are nice and not so nice "bumping" girls. It seems to depend how they do it. They are the same girls looking for guys in bars and everywhere else. Some are more slutty, others nicer. You can brush past a target in a gentle way. As I wrote, if she really wants this passing guy, and if she doesn't do something to get his attention within a few seconds, she knows she has lost this chance and will most likely never see him again. You would be surprised how many do it.
In other settings one would definitely smile and flirt. Here it would be impossible, unless the girl stopped the guy, which doesn't happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): Maybe it's just me; but bumping into people for attention seems a bit lame, if not stupid. Go for the smarter ones.
Smiles and flirting goes a longer way. Then you don't have to wonder what kind of message you're receiving.
When I "hit on" someone...I don't literally knock them off balance. That crap is crass. Cool chicks don't do dumb stuff like that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): OP again. An "expert" (or more likely player) explained to me that as girls almost never approach random guys, when going past the meeting is only for a few seconds, and there is no other alternative to show interest other than body contact.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): OP here. As advised, last night I "grew a pair.." and caught her arm as she was going past. Easily got a hug and kiss and phone number(I don't lack confidence). She was walking with her friends(the bumping always takes place when they are with friends-that would to me signal that it's intentional, otherwise it would be just as frequent when alone). Incredibly, I could have chosen probably any one of her friends
I asked her about the bumping into me. She got a bit blushy, but then laughed and said "well as you can see, it worked for me". Lol
And "trancedrythmear", yes, it does feel good.... Or that's an understatement! Great is more like it. Super ego booster..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): Why not since this is new and we all have to learn to flirt and chat and be friendly .. Next time it happens... Stop .. Say hey ate you okey( flash a smile) my body must be magnet or something ... And then just chat for a bit .. I think when your chubby ( I know from experience) we tend to raise around the shops, it's like get what we want or need and then get out without anyone talking to us.. Perhaps you are still doing this and dumping into people in your haste?? Learn to swagger .. Watch John travolta in staying alive, but over the top but gets you an idea lol lol Someone going that hurt... Is not good . Really you should have went and apologized . Stay cool.. And congratulations on your achievement losing weight is by no means a slight task .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): I would never think of doing that to a guy I liked. I think it would come across as aggressive and put him off me. I think this is probably a coincidence, but there is nothing stopping you apologising when they bump into you, and trying to start a conversation from it. You know, 'oh I'm sorry, are you ok?...' then take it from there. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (3 July 2013):
 Yes they are hinting to u. Stop n in a serious tone say wats it feel like hittin steel then wink ;).. Great icebreaker. Feels good doesnt it? Just wait. The p###y wont stop coming to u.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (3 July 2013):
 i have never heard of this as a female tactic, but hey, i could just be out of the loop.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): There may be a little hypersensitivity going on, you are more conscious of your body and receiving more attention.
Girls have their own way of letting you know that they notice you; bumping into you doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. I think smiles and hello is mostly how you interpret a girl is really checking you out.
Bumping into you seems a bit hostile. It doesn't quite send the right signal.
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