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male
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anonymous
writes: I feel my GF is not completly in the relationship. I feel it is one-sided. I constantly help her out financially and work on her house fixing it up. When we are together she says she needs her space and is most comfortable sitting at least 6 feet away from me. We do have intimancy on occasion. I don't like how I feel since she won't show as much appreciation for the things I do for her. I feel she can't show her affection for gratitude as well as I would like her to. I think I am being taken. I recently stopped calling her and wait for her to call first. When I see her notices that I dont call as often and wonders if something is wromg, I let her now how I felt about the lack of closeness and She indicated it was a sign of my insecurity. What should I do? Is it not worth continuing and am I being used as her debt relief? How could I get her to show more affection or is it just me?
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 We all show affection in different ways, she is obviously not a very "close" person and for her that is ok, for you it is not.
You sound like you like your girlfriends to be close to you and you are probably a very tactile and loving person so this relationship is sadly doomed as you will never make her into something she is not and if you accept her for what she is then you will be loosing out on a part of the closeness that you need and want and believe me this much compromise just does not work, it builds up resentment on both sides.
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