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Pressure to have sex, but I'm not comfortable with it!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2006) 10 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2006)
A female United Kingdom, *xemilyxx writes:

My boyfriend wants me to have sex with him. I've done it before but I don't feel comfortable with him. What should I do?

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2006):

bonym agony auntThe answer to your question is very sinple, if you are not happy doing something with him then you simply dont do it. If your boyfriend loves and honours you he will respect your feelings but what you need to do is establish why the two of you are together because if you are as you say not a virgin you were happy to have sex with someone else but why not him? Why do you feel uncomfortable with him? Only you know the answer to that my dear. xXx

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2006):

Wendyg agony auntIf you dont want to and you dont feel its right then simply dont! We should never do anything that we dont want to and no one should tell us we have to. You are your own person, so do whats right for you not somebody else! When your ready your ready not before. Take your time and if he really wants to be with you then he shouldnt put pressure on, he should respect your wishes and do other things until you are ready to!

Take care x

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2006):

willywombat agony auntTell him NO. If he loves you he will respect you and honour your wishes. If he continues trying to pressure you and/or dumps you you know he was after only one thing - and it isn't the pleasure of your company.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006):

If he asks you to have sex with him, and you decide to do it, ask yourself how you think you'll feel after it happens.

Imagine yourself waking up in the morning next to him, perhaps using past experiences, imagine how you think you'll feel.

Only you know how you'll feel. Perhaps you'll feel glad that he convinced you to do it, perhaps you'll regret it and end up resenting him.

Only you know how you'll feel afters, no one else who replied to this question will!

Good luck emily :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

tell him how you feel. if he gets mad or even threatens to dump you then he doesnt love and only wants you for your body. Good Luck!

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A female reader, Aunt Audrey United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2006):

Aunt Audrey agony auntJust say NO! If he doesn't like it tell him to get lost, have sex when you are ready and with someone you know has some respect for you and is not only interested in one thing. If he wants to be with you he will understand and wait till you're ready.

Good luck!

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A female reader, miss nade +, writes (5 June 2006):

miss nade agony auntDearest xxemilyxx,

Never have sex when you don’t want to… Your body is yours; tell your boyfriend that you don’t want to have sex with him. If he dumps you then you know he just wanted your body.

Self respect is the most important thing in the world, if something doesn’t seem right then don’t, do it.

Love

Miss Nade

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

Not do it.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2006):

smeedle agony auntDont do it, you do not ever have to do anything with anyone that makes you unhappy or un-comfortable.

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A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (5 June 2006):

Lostandalone agony aunt Then don't do it. Sex is supposed be enjoyable and beautiful. If you don't feel comfortable then don't do it. Why cheat yourself in the process of making him happy? Be true to yourself. There has got to be a reason that you feel this way and if there is a reason thats enough to tell him no. Good Luck.

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