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I love my boyfriend but I slept in another guy's bed

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Forbidden love, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 June 2006) 13 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

i love my boyfriend but recently things havnt been great, i ended up sleeping in another guys bed and kissing him.we like each other, but hes not single. should i tell my boyfriend? i know it may end things and i dont want that..all that happened was kissing..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2006):

OKAY!! this happened to me EXACTLY. i chose NOT to tell and he found out anyway. the boy confessed to my boyfriend. i DENIED and that made my boyfriend even more mad. we broke up for nearly 3 months but we're back together now---the trust between us is just not 100% stable. my best advise is to not tell, but!!! if he finds out confess and apologize until you are blue in the face. let him know that HE is the boy you want to be with and you made a mistake that youve learned from.

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A female reader, Aunt Jess +, writes (3 June 2006):

Aunt Jess agony auntDO NOT TELL HIM!!!!!

if you want to stay with him there is no point telling him. all you did was kiss was you were feeling a bit fragile?

also i doubt the guy wont

betelling his gf either.

hope you and bf

can patch things up.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2006):

willywombat agony auntThings haven't been great between you, is this why you ended up in another guys bed? If you truely loved your BF this should not have happened. I think you need to look at whether you should even be in this relationsghip at all. Ask yourself how you would feel if your BF turned the tables and told you he had ended up in another girls bed. How would you feel about that? Then judge what to do on the strength of your feelings for him.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (3 June 2006):

eddie agony auntDon't tell him. He'll never believe you. It's not a believable story, even if it's true. He'll always question it. (( % of people don't get into bed with strangers to sleep or as you say, "just kiss". I'm sure you had other intentions too or you wouldn't have done that. You screwed up. They say "what people don't know, can't hurt them" but boy oh boy, people would be floored if they ever found out the truth. IF you really value your relationship and want it to work, learn from your mistake.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (3 June 2006):

eddie agony auntThey say "what you don't know can't hurt you".... but boy oh boy many people would be floored by what they don't know. OK, you should feel absolutely ASHAMED. Don't tell your boyfriend. I can imagine that conversation..........I spent the night with some guy, in his bed but we ONLY kissed. To which he'd reply....@#&%$...you only kissed!!! You're lying..... There is also nothing you could say to convince him otherwise. Of course you WANTED to do more. People don't hop into bed with strangers to SLEEP do they.

Do you really think he'll believe that? Would you? I wouldn't and the uncertainty would bother me forever.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (3 June 2006):

eddie agony auntThey say "what you don't know can't hurt you".... but boy oh boy many people would be floored by what they don't know. OK, you should feel absolutely ASHAMED. Don't tell your boyfriend. I can imagine that conversation..........I spent the night with some guy, in his bed but we ONLY kissed. To which he'd reply....@#&%$...you only kissed!!! You're lying..... There is also nothing you could say to convince him otherwise. Of course you WANTED to do more. People don't hop into bed with strangers to SLEEP do they.

Do you really think he'll believe that? Would you? I wouldn't and the uncertainty would bother me forever.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (3 June 2006):

eddie agony auntThey say "what you don't know can't hurt you".... but boy oh boy many people would be floored by what they don't know. OK, you should feel absolutely ASHAMED. Don't tell your boyfriend. I can imagine that conversation..........I spent the night with some guy, in his bed but we ONLY kissed. To which he'd reply....@#&%$...you only kissed!!! You're lying..... There is also nothing you could say to convince him otherwise. Of course you WANTED to do more. People don't hop into bed with strangers to SLEEP do they.

Do you really think he'll believe that? Would you? I wouldn't and the uncertainty would bother me forever.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (3 June 2006):

eddie agony auntThey say "what you don't know can't hurt you".... but boy oh boy many people would be floored by what they don't know. OK, you should feel absolutely ASHAMED. Don't tell your boyfriend. I can imagine that conversation..........I spent the night with some guy, in his bed but we ONLY kissed. To which he'd reply....@#&%$...you only kissed!!! You're lying..... There is also nothing you could say to convince him otherwise. Of course you WANTED to do more. People don't hop into bed with strangers to SLEEP do they.

Do you really think he'll believe that? Would you? I wouldn't and the uncertainty would bother me forever.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (3 June 2006):

eddie agony auntThey say "what you don't know can't hurt you".... but boy oh boy many people would be floored by what they don't know. OK, you should feel absolutely ASHAMED. Don't tell your boyfriend. I can imagine that conversation..........I spent the night with some guy, in his bed but we ONLY kissed. To which he'd reply....@#&%$...you only kissed!!! You're lying..... There is also nothing you could say to convince him otherwise. Of course you WANTED to do more. People don't hop into bed with strangers to SLEEP do they.

Do you really think he'll believe that? Would you? I wouldn't and the uncertainty would bother me forever.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (3 June 2006):

eddie agony auntThey say "what you don't know can't hurt you".... but boy oh boy many people would be floored by what they don't know. OK, you should feel absolutely ASHAMED. Don't tell your boyfriend. I can imagine that conversation..........I spent the night with some guy, in his bed but we ONLY kissed. To which he'd reply....@#&%$...you only kissed!!! You're lying..... There is also nothing you could say to convince him otherwise. Of course you WANTED to do more. People don't hop into bed with strangers to SLEEP do they.

Do you really think he'll believe that? Would you? I wouldn't and the uncertainty would bother me forever.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006):

Would you want your boyfriend to tell you if he had slept in another girls bed? I think that is where you will your answer. All the best with whatever you decide to do!

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2006):

smeedle agony auntWell sadly it is human nature to want to be fancied and loved and when things have not gone right with your bloke you went to the arms of another man for comfort, your concience will tell you if this was right or not.

Yes you only kissed but did you want to do more, ask yourself the question, are things with your bloke better now and if the answer is yes have all thoughts of the other bloke gone, if this is yes all the way then nothing would be gained from telling your fella and you can just notch this naughty episode down to a weak and never to be repeated episode in your life.

But if the answer is no, things are still not right and you still like this other bloke then that tells me that you are ready to move out of current relationship and either have an affair with new bloke which is wrong morally and will hurt lots of people, or just end current relationship and take some time out .

Look deep within yourself and soul search the answers then decide what to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006):

Nice!

You may or may not get a flood of negative comments here, but I believe the choice is yours of course, whether to tell him or not.

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