Scared to break it off... I know she loves me but she never, ever shows it!
Q. I am with my first girlfriend ever in my life. I am 20 and she is 18. Every other weekend we see each other, (because we don't drive), she doesn't french me anymore, and we don't even make out anymore. She spends most of her time on my computer ...
A. 26 May 2007: This sounds like your girlfriend is using you.
She is with you only because she needs a comp.
Another explanation in this case would be hardly possible.
"She spends most of her time on my computer and not touching me or paying any attention to... (read in full...)
She's cheated on me and I know... but she doesn't know I know - what should I do?
Q. My partner has cheated on me at least once, she doesn't yet know I know. What should i do, i love her to bits, but she continues to lie to me. We have a son, he is almost two, i cant see him hurt by this, but i can hardly stand to look at her....
A. 26 May 2007: It depends on how you feel about this situation.
Don't know your attitude to cheating in general.
My opinion about what you should do now is confront her.
The risk here is high: she may actually dump you after that.
"We have a son, he is almos... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I like her now or later? I don't want to fall into the "friend" category!
Q. Im an 18 yr old guy. I've been single for about a month and a bit and I'm totally over my ex. At this party, I met an attractive girl who was positive and seemed to be interested in talking. I got her number and sent a few messages but nothi...
A. 25 May 2007: First, you did not fall into "friend" category.
Second, she is recognised as a Party Girl type.
They change their boyfriends and girlfriends like stockings.
Your question is "How should I express my interest or should I wait a bit longer?"
My... (read in full...)
He said he had a bad day and cancelled our plans - now it's been three days and he still hasn't called! What should I do?
Q. hi, can anybody offer me some advice please! i started seeing a guy 2 weeks ago and he paid me quite abit of attention for say the first 10 days, taking me out for something to eat at night and a quick drink and things like that. then a couple of ...
A. 25 May 2007: He said that he was in bad mood and he was tired.
It's possible that this guy lost interest in you.
Such excuse is quite common, but you gotta test him anyway.
Advice about who should be the first to renew a relationship:
Regardless of... (read in full...)
My crush seems to have taken to my best friend, what do I do?
Q. were can i start? A couple of years ago i got close to this boy and he told me he liked me but i was with someone and he was more like my best friend and didn't think of in that way but i realised bf cheated on me so i ended it. Me and that boy ...
A. 25 May 2007: It sounds like you expect your boyfriends to cheat.
The first really cheated, but why should the second?
"i introduced him to my best friend and now he likes her but she wont get with him" - why should she?
Either you don't trust guys at all or th... (read in full...)
I really like two different guys...whom do I choose ?
Q. hey im 16yrs old nd there are these two guys that i both love with all my heart! the 1st ive been out with before and it didnt work and i was very hurt. we stayed best friends and i never stopped liking him :) now i find out he likes me again. t...
A. 25 May 2007: You say that "it didnt work and i was very hurt".
If it didn't work, why should it work this time.
Unless a lot of time has passed and something changed.
As you stayed best friends you should know that better.
2nd guy: "i find out he likes me ... (read in full...)
He won't reply to my emails and I'm not sure why? What should I do?
Q. hello again! I've got a slight problem. I've known this guy since I was about 4 (so 15 years) and we lost contact a few years ago, we've started talking again and have met up a couple of times as our uni's are really close.im not sure if im just ...
A. 25 May 2007: Here in this case may be different explanations. You will have to meet him in person to find out. Most probably reason is that he just misunderstood you. Did you tell him how much you need his texts and emails? "we've spoken about our feelin... (read in full...)
How you tell someone to stop thinking about the future and everything too much
Q. Hi, I was just wondering how you tell someone to stop thinking about the future and everything too much? I've only been dating my boyfriend for a month, but we were very close friends for three years before this. I was in love with him through...
A. 24 May 2007: You were close friends for 3 years before dating.
How could you not learn him better by that time?
Sounds to me that both you and him made different plans.
Why the future for you looks "a bit scary and suffocating".
"it's too early to be thin... (read in full...)
What can I do to help get over him?
Q. hi i am in love trouble i like this boy in my class and we had flirted for a few months but for the past few weeks he just ignors me it is really upseting and i think he is after this girl who i really hate they went out months back and she doesnt ...
A. 24 May 2007: You wanna get over him or do something else. It is not clear from your post what you want. Anyway, "this girl who i really hate" stole your boyfriend. Maybe she thought he was not your boyfriend at that moment. Let's suppose that is true: "s... (read in full...)
I have fancied so many boys in my life, it's unbelieveable! but nobody fancies me...
Q. I have fancied so many boys in my life, it's unbelieveable! but nobody fancies me... I really cannot understand why, i always feel i look my best for school and alot of my friends say i'm really bonny, i don't agree with them so much with that - i...
A. 24 May 2007: There are several ways to answer your question. I could easily say you do not understand boys. Although this is true, a thorough study of Boy Dreaming would rather be too complicated to make here. You can have a look at yourself and think about ... (read in full...)
I'm a really shy girl, and have an extreme crush on a teacher at my school.
Q. I'm a really shy girl, and have an extreme crush on a teacher at my school. To be honest it's become an obsession, only those who i trust know about it! Everytime i see this teacher, i can't stop staring and go really red - Those who i've told abo...
A. 24 May 2007: It's quite normal for students to have crushes. However, in most cases such feelings fade away. My opinion is that tween years are for learning whereas teen years are for socializing. You are a shy girl and that means you do not socialize enough.... (read in full...)
Do men respect women who make the first move?
Q. What do men think when a woman makes the first move towards getting to know each other? ...
A. 23 May 2007: This is matter of preference for particular man.
In real life both men and women make first move.
Attitude to such situations may be different depending on a wide variety of things.
If your image is important to you, you should follow the Dating R... (read in full...)
A discussion about having future kids, has caused a problem with us! How do we get beyond this?
Q. Hi there, I could do with some advice before I destroy the best thing thats ever happened to me. A month ago I met the most amazing guy and we just clicked, he lives about 90 miles away but when we see each other and talk we get on amazingly and ...
A. 23 May 2007: What are you doing in this relationship, woman?
You sound really satisfied with what you have.
"In some ways we are both very different and like doing different things but that makes it more exciting"
"to me if you like everything the same where i... (read in full...)
Parted but back together again, can I trust him?
Q. Me and my partner split up after a series of rows now altho this was a very short split up when he come back i found a new number in his phone that belonged to a girl he chats to on the internet i also found a txt from her that indicated he had been ...
A. 23 May 2007: As I see trust in relationship is a must for you.
If you can't trust him, then why you are together.
First, "i found a new number in his phone that belonged to a girl he chats to on the internet"
Second, "i also found a txt from her that indicat... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship where there is no direction and he ignores me! What should I do?
Q. My current boyfriend is not giving me any attention, we have been together for 3 months but the relationship is still with no direction. How can I make him jealous, so that he starts realising im there for him to come rushing back to me.... I plan...
A. 23 May 2007: My opinion is that you are walking on thin ice.
Approach chosen by you only works with "any guy".
By definition "any guy" means average guy whose actions are predictable in typical situations.
If that is your boyfriend, why would he be not givin... (read in full...)
I really like him... how could I get him to notice me? How can get him to talk to me? Any tips?
Q. i'm totally, utterly, and hopelessly in love with a guy i have never said 2 words to. everyone told me "it's just lust, you'll get over it"... i've "liked" him for 5 years! and actually know who he was for 1 of those.... i've just been too shy to e...
A. 23 May 2007: Definitely this is not a crush in your case.
Crushes cannot last so long - several years.
There are two different explanations of your situation:
"never had a boyfriend, and i am in my mid to late teens, so this is all new to me, and i feel total... (read in full...)
Is it worth taking the risk to date your best friend?
Q. i like my best friend. if he likes me is it even worth going out because i really like being best friends and talking like 24/7 and i dont want to ruin that. but if we break up then there could be a possibility tht we arnt friends anymore....
A. 23 May 2007: You will never know it unless you try it.
I guess you should ask him this question.
What does your best friend think about going out with you?
Separate advice to "if we break up then there could be a possibility tht we arnt friends anymore":
B... (read in full...)
15 and pregnant... how do I tell my mom?
Q. hi. i am 15 i have found out 3 weeks ago that i am pregnant i have onlii had sex twice and we have used protection both times but i have managed to get pregnant i have told my child studies teacher at school because she is realli easii to talk to ...
A. 22 May 2007: Answer to "dont know where to go from here":
http://teenmoms.ourfamily.com/advice.htm#1
This is clear for me that you decided to keep this baby.
Only one comment to make about "its not the babiis fault it was made... it is my fault".
It ... (read in full...)
Worried by my girlfriends sexual past...
Q. Before my girlfriend I was a virgin, we have been dating for 5 months and its been great fantastic and wonderfull. Currently the main problem in our relationship is how I feel about her sexual past. Personally I have become gradually more i...
A. 22 May 2007: Your situation may be stressful, but it's not unique.
I have already given my answer to a similar question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-stop-wondering-about-my-gfs.html
"I may eventually grow tired of my inability to handle the f... (read in full...)
He touched me, and now he's ignoring me again. Why?
Q. I'm addicted to this guy. He's nothing special to look at. He's just got something about him that makes me want to be with him all the time. It's been two years almost since we broke up and we hardly talked. But then randomly out of the blue he ...
A. 22 May 2007: Why you wrote phrase "I'm addicted to this guy"?
If it's true, it's clear now he is also confused.
Two years break could bring changes to his feelings to you, but it didn't in this case.
"I went round his house and cuddled and he touched my b... (read in full...)
He takes other people's suggestions but shoots mine down, even though they're the same and he critizises me to his children... What's up with my boyfriend?
Q. I seem to be getting very irritated with my BF of 1 year. I'm not sure why but everything seems to bother me. I realize things start out with both people on their best behavior and once things settle it's more real. There have been 2 occasions ...
A. 22 May 2007: Here are several different questions in your post.
You should sort out what is more important to you.
"suggested something to him and he either just shot it down or said no... someone else suggested... he said "that's great".
Probably he doesn't i... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my bf won't speak to me! I haven't told my parents - what do I do?
Q. Hey - I found out i was pregnant last week and just told my boyfriend 3 days ago. We've been going out for about a year now and I'm so scared he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. Ever since I told him, he hasn't contacted me once. I ...
A. 21 May 2007: Eventually you will have to tell your parents.
But right now tell someone whom you can trust.
First, learn how to deal with negative attitude toward you by some people around - please ignore them.
Second, in case you will not get support from... (read in full...)
Why do we argue about the little things?
Q. I like this girl more than anything, but we seem to argue about the smallest things. When she asked me, "why do we argue bout little things?" I coudnt answer! Can anyone answer???...
A. 21 May 2007: It's really good you don't argue about big things.
And it means that in general things are alright.
This situation is completely normal, in a relationship you don't always have to agree with your partner.
When you start a relationship... (read in full...)
How do I make it clear to him that we should break up?
Q. I've been with someone for about eight years. The last two years we've been on rough waters. We've talked to try to work things out several times, and nothing ever changes. I've decided it's time to part our separate ways, but he always wants to ...
A. 21 May 2007: The problem here is that your timing is different.
For you this relationship already began to decline.
For him it is running the second stage - stabilization, as you say "he always wants to work things out".
Advice to: "I've decided it's time to... (read in full...)
He says he will leave his wife for me, but I know it's not true, what can I do?
Q. Hi my names bebe and Im involved with a married man.He is my next door neighbour and Im very good friends with his wife.At first its was just a bit of fun but now we've fallen in love with each other.He keeps saying that hes going to leave his wife ...
A. 21 May 2007: First, I will not impose my own views on fornication.
Second, I think that you initiated this relationship.
Third, I do NOT believe that he will leave his wife for you.
"At first its was just a bit of fun but now we've fallen in love with each ot... (read in full...)
I really like this guy so how do I get his attention?
Q. how do i get my crushes attention? he already knos i like him and i catch him starring at me and smiling but what am i supposed to do am i supposed to just play it cool or talk to him and if i am supposed to talk to him what should i say i mean i've ...
A. 20 May 2007: Bringing this all down to the type of guy he is.
You think "he must have an amazing personality".
Normally when you have a crush on someone, you are thinking about that person nearly all the time.
And this thinking doesn't stop until you cool dow... (read in full...)
I want to date her, but she doesn't see me in that way. Any advice?
Q. hey im in high school and one of my best friends since i satrted the school, is a really hot, funny girl. i have asked her out, but she said she didnt like me in that way. but i cant stop thinking about her. being with her etc. i wanna ask her out ...
A. 20 May 2007: You tell that she "is a really hot, funny girl".
It helps me to understand your situation a lot.
Well, she is not attracted to you, because she maybe wants someone who is also really hot and funny.
Just now you should agree to stay friends with... (read in full...)
We're dating, but the thought of doing anything intimate with him, doesn't appeal to me. Does this mean I don't fancy him?
Q. Im with this guy who i do really like spending time with but im not sure if i fancy him. The thought of doing sexual and intimate things with him really doesnt appeal to me, does this mean i dont fancy him?? ...
A. 20 May 2007: It says more about you than about your feelings.
Maybe it's just how you understand relationship.
Or maybe this is what you want at this stage of your life.
You say: "i do really like spending time with but im not sure"
Are you sure about other... (read in full...)
Does my friend "with benefits" suddenly have feelings for me? Can anything serious grow out of this?
Q. I was, for approximatley 4 months, sleeping with a guy I lived with last year, we both went to college together. It all happened when I realised I liked him, and I knew I wanted something to happen, and it did. We kept our 'relationship' a...
A. 20 May 2007: Relationship status may change, but it's not easy.
Spend more time with him in different situations.
"I want to sort out my own head before talking to him".
You have already done that in public just now and here.
"Is it possible that something s... (read in full...)
Can't be with her for complicated reasons! But not being with her will drive me crazy! What can I do?
Q. There's this girl that i'm crazy about and i know she is about me too, we've both agreed for now that we cant be together at the moment for lotsa complicated reasons, but now not being with her is just gonna drive me crazy, any advice??...
A. 20 May 2007: Both partners are either in a relationship or not.
You say "agreed for now that we cant be together".
As you don't tell what these complicated reasons are, I guess that the actual reason lies someplace else.
In case there is distance between you ... (read in full...)
Why do I blame myself for my husband messing things up?
Q. my husband thinks i dont love him but its the other way around he messes up alot but why do i blame myself? ...
A. 17 May 2007: It sounds like a tough question, but it's not. Here is lack of understanding between partners. Your husband thinks you don't love him, because he doesn't understand Love means something different for you. Truth for you: "the other way around he... (read in full...)
Should I stay and keep working on it, or should I leave?
Q. I am in a really bad place in my life. My husband and I have been married for almost four years now. I have two girls from a previous marriage (it did not end well, he was very abusive) and one two year old boy from this marriage. In this four year ...
A. 17 May 2007: Your hubby thinks it's not a vanilla relationship. "In this four year time he has had three affairs". "Two were one night stands" - he is spunking around. Kids are probably your only motivation for staying in this relationship as you admi... (read in full...)
How can get to go out with her alone?
Q. i'm dead crazy in love with this girl. i asked her if she wanna go cinema she automatically thinks about bringing her mates, i dont know if she does it on purpose! i want to ask her to the cinema alone! so i want to ask her out to cinema alone ...
A. 17 May 2007: It all depends upon what type of girl she is.
Highly unlikely that "she does it on purpose".
She is not introvert; introverts don't act this way.
I guess that she has one big circle of close friends.
Unless you are a part of it, she will not go ... (read in full...)
I need the courage to go up to him and say hi...any advice?
Q. i really like this guy, but the thing is i havent even said hi to him and i kinda think he likes me but i cant get the courage to talk to him what should i do?...
A. 17 May 2007: Okay, I will tell you what you should do.
Act normally, just be around him a bit more.
Soon he will notice you and say something to you.
Then say something to him (words are not important).
Keep doing this for a while - it will give you courage... (read in full...)
Should I just give him space and hope he changes his mind?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up. He said that he didn't have time for racing and a girlfriend and we were both tired of arguing. We are trying the whole friends thing. I still love him alot and care about him deeply...he still holds the key to my ...
A. 17 May 2007: Words BF/GF have different meaning to you and him.
I would advise you ask him what is it a girlfriend.
As you are now "friends", it's possible he will tell you.
His answer may let you know whether eventually (not now) you can get back with him or ... (read in full...)
What are the signs that the one I love loves me back?
Q. How would i know if a man i love feels the same way about me?...
A. 17 May 2007: The guy is interested in you if his attitude to you is different than his attitude to other girls of the same type.
Although this is rule of the thumb, two notes before using.
First, in your case attitude would mean the way he displays his emotions... (read in full...)
My BF was emailing other women that he loved them, I have agreed to try again but I just don't know if I can trust him...
Q. Hi, i recently found out that my boyfriend of a few years has been sending emails to other women telling them he loves them! We split up but have decided to try again, but i dont know if i can trust him anymore. Theres a weird atmosphere, but i dont ...
A. 17 May 2007: I will address the feelings you have to him.
"We split up but have decided to try again".
This means that you are so much in love with him.
Looking for his reasons would be digging in the past.
Focus on the present: building trust takes some... (read in full...)
I want to go back to the man I cheated on, but he has a new woman now. How do I get him back?
Q. where do i start!! i cheated on my partner with a work colleague, which resulted in both us leaving our partners to be with each other, we now live together, for almost 17 months. i have always been in contact with my ex, but cant seem to let him ...
A. 16 May 2007: In your situation you have several Commitments:
You have your ex, current partner and the kids.
Probably you will always be in contact with your ex, because as far as I understand the kids are his children.
And that's the way it should be - ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his girlfriend that he's sending me all these cute messages?
Q. There's a guy... he's taken. I love him. I can't get him off my mind. He texts me loads outta the blue just to say " hey how are you?" and the other night he asked me to call him for a chat... He doesn't know I love him... I try to back...
A. 16 May 2007: Important: Is his girlfriend also your female friend?
For if you tell his girlfriend, you will face a choice.
My personal opinion here is that people should not choose between partners and friends at all.
Balance is needed between personal rel... (read in full...)
It's as if they dont want me as soon as they know they can have me. How can i get to the next level
Q. i have been single for two years and keep meeting guys that seem very interested, call me / text me regularly and say they really like me. I hang back alittle until i am sure i like them too or believe what they are saying then all of a sudden they ...
A. 16 May 2007: Who initiates such relationships: you or the guys?
If you, try to be more selective when picking them.
Limit choice to those who have something in common with you.
If guys initiate such relationships, focus on the following:
Make changes to first... (read in full...)
How can I communicate with my partner so that we can have a better relationship together ?
Q. I have a few questions. First, how do I communicate so he can't turn every problem around on me? Why can't he try to see and fix his faults for good? (He changes for a few days then goes right back to normal...) Why won't he stay home with ...
A. 16 May 2007: Thank you for asking all your questions here, sister.
I will give you one sentence answers to each of them.
First, you communicate with your partner raising one problem at a time and saying WE instead of YOU.
"Why can't he try to see and fix his ... (read in full...)
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