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... Send *ostandalone a private message | | | *ostandalone's profile: I am a 32 year old male from the US and I have alot of general life experiences. What qualifies me to help other people is the fact that I am an observer of life. I am an avid reader and majoring in mathmatics and psycology doesn't hurt. I am currently single(going through a bad break-up). I just enjoy helping people and I am very open-minded. |
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I think she's having an affair! Was I right to question her?
Q. I have been seeing my girlfriend for just under a year. She changed jobs a few months ago, and now works long late hours in a golfclub bar, mostly at weekends when I am off work. She is very outgoing attractive and enjoys men's attention, but tells ...
A. 6 November 2006: She's hiding something. My ex did the exact same thing and she was actually seeing another man. Watch out and be careful.... (read in full...)
We broke up and I want to get back together! I fear he'll meet someone else!
Q. heya, me and my boyfriend of 3 years have recently split up over a silly argument, we have decided to be friends, but at the same time he tells me there is a chance we may get back together, but he needs to work out how he feels. i have met up with ...
A. 5 November 2006: I agree with rhythmandblues2. Stay away from him. I know its hard but you will end up very hurt if you don't. I know it will be hard but think of how hard it will be to take seeing him with another woman if you haven't healed from the break-up. ... (read in full...)
In our break I met somebody else. Now I don't know what I want!
Q. Hello i hope someone can help me make sense of what i am going through just now, i have so many mixed emothions and feel really confused. I will try to keep this as short as i can. Well the thing is I was with my fiance for 4 years, i am 28, he is ...
A. 4 November 2006: I have a certain opinion about this issue as I have been in this situation, except I was the fiance. My fiance broke up with me and we remained friends going out and having fun together and still talked everyday. Well, she had met a man thru her ... (read in full...)
He cheated with his son's mom and I forgave him. How can I start feeling secure with us again?
Q. I have been dating my guy for 6 months now. And already we have crossed a lot of hurdles that we shouldn't have had to. To start things off, he cheated on me with his son's mother when we first got together. I forgave him and all. But now we fight a ...
A. 3 November 2006: This thing is going to take some communication. You have to put your fears and concerns out in the open. He shouldn't spend time with her just because. They should only discuss his son and nothing more. I think if you continue to let this ... (read in full...)
Shes my best friend but I'm no longer attracted to her!!
Q. I have being with my girlfriend for two years. I have moved away from my friends and family to be with her. I did this to patch things up, as we were having problems. I have cheated on her twice, and I feel trapped. She loves me alot, and I am ...
A. 3 November 2006: I agree with everyone else. Leave her now. You have already cheated on her twice. You are being selfish and you will continue to hurt her and if you really love her friendship than let her go and be with someone who can love her and treat her the ... (read in full...)
Do guys hate to give oral sex?
Q. Male readers!! do you hate givin oral sex to a women??...
A. 1 November 2006: I find it rather enjoyable. There is nothing like giving someone you care about pleasure. You just can't do everybody. ... (read in full...)
Seeing my ex brought back emotions for me and now my fiancee is upset.What should I do?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my Fiancee for a little over 2 years, but before that I was in a serious relationship with someone else, we'll call him T. for over 5 years. However, our relationship was very rocky and he cheated on me and got ...
A. 30 October 2006: I wouldn't go so deep as to call this man a WASTE OF SPACE!!! I don't know the gentleman and I like to hold on to the belief that everyone can change. It seems that your fiance has some insecurities that he has to deal with. My grandmother always ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my boyfriend?? He said it's not lying if he doesn't tell me what he's up to!
Q. Should I trust my boyfriend or is he taking the mickey? He recently said that if I dont ask him a specfic question ie are you going out with X then its not lying if he doesnt tell me what he is up to? ...
A. 30 October 2006: I agree with everyone else. NOT TELLING. Is just as bad as lying in my book because its deception. This is a cousin of lying. I was in this situation before and I got the hell out. Thats something that will always keep you wondering. This ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to be my bf yet. I think it's because he still likes his ex..Am I right?
Q. I think he still likes his ex. It's been 3 months sincve they broke up and he still thinks he;s not ready for another relationship soon. When I asked him if he misses her he said yeah, sometimes. He said he's not ready for a relationship cuz he just ...
A. 30 October 2006: 3 months is nothing. To some 6 months is nothing. A person heals in their own time. You just have to be patient and give him time. He will get over it eventually and then you all can go from there but don't pressure it and don't get frustrated. ... (read in full...)
Do I risk it all for a younger guy, with no certain job prospects that I love with a constant desire I have not felt with my bf? Is this a long-dull-period?
Q. I fell in love when I was 19 and have been with the same guy ever since (now I am 25). 2 years ago he went overseas to pursue higher education and we've been dating long distance in the meantime (I stayed on to study locally). We always plann...
A. 30 October 2006: I agree with Stina. You need some down time for yourself. You have love interests that overlap. You're making excuses. If you leave your current for the new and he finds out he will try to win you back only to have you break his heart further ... (read in full...)
My fiancee online dating mistake, has me wondering ..if I should marry him? What do you all think?
Q. My partner and I had an argument that lasted over several days. We've since made up but whilst using the computer I just found out that whilst we were not on speaking terms, he registered with a dating agency, advertising for another woman. ...
A. 27 October 2006: People do silly things when they are angry. This doesn't mean that he loves you any less. Chalk it up to anger and let it go. I think you're overeacting just a bit. If this was continuous behavior then you have reason to be worried but don't ... (read in full...)
Falling for someone who is already with someone!!!
Q. i am falling for this guy i know but he already has a girfriend what should i do? please help!...
A. 27 October 2006: There's nothing you really can do until the previous relationship resolves. Then, give him time to heal from it and even then he might not want a relationship with you. Just continue to be his friend and see were it leads. Good Luck.... (read in full...)
My gf told me she's torn between me and her ex! What should I do now?
Q. My girlfriend has recently expressed to me that she is now torn between me and her recently divorced ex-husband. She feels that a lot of the bad blood from him was just him getting back at her for leaving him. Now the two are getting along, and ...
A. 26 October 2006: From a guy's point of view, its seems like she could be taking you for granted. You support her financially and emotionally. She does whatever she likes and you are a low priority in her life because you chose to be. Someone can only do what you ... (read in full...)
It has been year since we broke up and now he wants to meet back up!
Q. help... i'm still in love with my ex though it finished over a year ago. He finished it and I was very depressed for several months. I bumped into him recently and he chatted to me all night then asked if we could meet up "for a cup of tea". The ...
A. 26 October 2006: I say meet with him and see were it goes. What do you have to lose. You know you can live without him and if you get back together its what you want, but be sure to hash out all the reasons you broke up in the first place. Don't be nieve to ... (read in full...)
Is he really over his ex?
Q. Hi,there's this guy who i dated for awhile...after some stuff that happened with us,we realise it's better to be friends. However friends meant...he would still call everyday and let me know what he's doing. We were still very close even though we ...
A. 26 October 2006: Like everyone else says. You're not a couple!!! He can date and have sex with anyone he wants to. Why would you confront him??? Better question: Why would he give you an explanation??? Its obvious, like I have said at least a dozen times before ... (read in full...)
I love her but she is already with someone else!!!
Q. im in love with a girl thats already going out with someone. what should i do? please help...
A. 26 October 2006: There's really nothing you can do if she is with someone already. You can't really wait because you don't know how long and if she does break it off with her current then she will make you a rebound guy. Move on and remain friends. You never know ... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable to stay friends with an ex???
Q. HI I was wondering if people thinks its acceptable to stay friends with an ex boyfriend, even if you are unsure about whether he is over you? My ex finished it 6 mths ago after i made it clear i wanted marriage and kids (he is nearly 40 and ha...
A. 26 October 2006: It seems like I answer this question once a day. I don't think ex's can be friends. At least it didn't happen for me and I think he doesn't want to let you go but he doesn't want marriage. I also believe that you still care for him or this ... (read in full...)
I'm staying friends with her as I'm hoping to spark her feelings for me back up!!!
Q. I am 21 and have recently mutually split from a long term relationship (4 yrs) where everything appeared to be lasting for life with ambitions of marriage and kids as we both loved each other immenseley. She fell out of love with me over a long ...
A. 26 October 2006: I agree with Toria. I did the same thing. Held on to hope and "possibly" her and I could rekindle a relationship. She had already begun to date other men and getting to know them on a personal level. Yeah, she told me she loved me, she would ... (read in full...)
Do I just leave it and get on with my life or fight for my man???
Q. my boyfriend and i were going out for 3 years and we have a son. last year i cheated on him it was a drunken mistake and i feel really bad he found out and he was ok till one day he kicked off at me and said that he didnt think he loved me anymore ...
A. 26 October 2006: I was always taught to fight for what you love but how much and for how long? This is a very messy situation. On the outside looking in I would tell you to cut your loses but I have been in a similar situation and you feel like there is no way you ... (read in full...)
Who comes first? The spouse or the kids?
Q. Traditionally, I have always believed that in a relationship where children are involved; be it children from outside the relationship or not, your partner/ spouse comes first and the child second to the unity of the “adult” relationship further, ...
A. 25 October 2006: What you're saying has a lot of merit. I feel like a parents happiness should come first, though the child's welfare is a close priority. Some people feel that being a parent that you should sacrifice your happiness for you child's. To me this is ... (read in full...)
I was wondering if agony aunts get paid?
Q. could you please tell me do agony aunts get paid or is it a service they provide for free,thank you....
A. 25 October 2006: No. Just the great feeling of helping others.... (read in full...)
I still think about the other guy I like and it feels like I'm cheating on him!!!
Q. I really like these two guys but I am now going out with one of them, i still think about this other guy and it feels asthough im cheating on him,even though im not. But even when i go out with someone it only lasts for a month and then i dont know ...
A. 24 October 2006: Try being on your own for awhile and see were your head is. You can't keep fooling yourself into believing that something is when it isn't. Follow your heart. You can fool everybody else with your smiles and laughs and false sense of security but ... (read in full...)
She emails me and says she is crying while writing it but not prepared to do anything about it!!!
Q. long story short...me and the x fiance broke it off about 8 months ago..many reasons contributed to the break up..but the final thing is when i found out she was going out behind my back and i found pictures of her with another man..she denies ...
A. 24 October 2006: I know its easy to say forget her and move on as I was told the same thing after my break-up. Its not easy when you still love someone so deeply. You do have to face the fact that she doesn't want to face what she has done. I think personally she ... (read in full...)
I want to continue this affair but don't have the strength to break it off
Q. I have a problem and i need advice. I met a man from Texas last month.He is a singer,songwriter. I live in Nashville and he has been coming here for the 12 months. Well the night i met him we had spent the night together. i then spent 2 more nights ...
A. 24 October 2006: Congrats!!! You have just become the other woman or to put it in a nice way "the mistress". Be realistic, he's not going to leave his wife and if he does he's proven he can't be trusted. You can pursure this if you wish. I'm not a psychic but I ... (read in full...)
I'm a 25 yr old who loves having sex with men! Is this right or wrong?
Q. I am 25 years old and i want to know if i have a problem, as i have slept with about 80 - 90 men, and i feel a bit bad but i love it. I'm single and i quite like it that way, because when i'm in a relationship i just want to sleep with someone else. ...
A. 24 October 2006: I agree with the anon below. I know personally I have broken up with a woman before because of her past because having slept with that many people is hard for a guy to deal with. You always want to think that your woman is special and having slept ... (read in full...)
Do any of you see your exes as good friend?
Q. Hi everyone, could you see your ex as a friend?...
A. 24 October 2006: I haven't. Never did find them appealing afterwards as a friend. Once the relationship ends so does the friendship for me. Most times its just to hard because trust me one of the two or both have feelings still and when new people show up it gets ... (read in full...)
His ex is making our life a living hell...what can we do?
Q. Hi all, I have asked for advice before. I feel i am going out of my mind. My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years now. We are really happy, apart from his ex. She just wont let go, even though she didnt want him. She keeps making up ...
A. 24 October 2006: It seems to me he is allowing her to make your life "hell". He only has to speak to her for the 16 year old and if the 20 year old isn't adult enough to see what's going on then he needs to grow up. If she loses enough weight to become transparent ... (read in full...)
I don't love him anymore but he is the only good thing is my life...would it be wrong to get back with him???
Q. 2 Weeks ago my bf and I agreed to break it off. I agreed because I thought that he was the reason that i was never happy anymore, and i felt as though I had lost my identity. We've been single for 2 weeks and after the initial 3 days or so when I ...
A. 24 October 2006: Don't get back with him for your own selfish reasons. You already say you don't love him, so are you willing to try to rebuild what you had or are you just keeping him around until you find someone else better? It seems to me that you are useing ... (read in full...)
Should I arrange to meet up with the ex again or will I be risking heartache?
Q. Do I arrange to see my ex? I am about to move back to the area I happily lived in for 5 years with my ex. I originally moved away when he left me because it was so sad being there without him but I actually missed my "home" as I've grown to see it. ...
A. 24 October 2006: If you need that closure then I suggest you do it. Just because he didn't ask for the meeting it's okay. You're not doing this for him but for yourself. Those months spent away from each other really makes a difference. Its obvious you still ... (read in full...)
Can't get past the age difference...
Q. Hello, I am a 27 y/o guy that is in love with a wonderful, truly unique 19 y/o girl. We've been close friends for almost a year (met at work), and we like each other's company a lot. However, anytime I am with her, all I can focus on is the ...
A. 23 October 2006: I don't see the big deal. I'm 29 and I would date a 19 year old. I think its more of a stage difference than an age difference. I suggest you let it go and be happy. Though I suggest also that you talk to her about it. She needs to know what ... (read in full...)
Should I move in with him???
Q. My boyfriend has been through a divorce about 2 1/2 years ago. His ex-wife cheated on him, and decided to leave him. It was really hard for him to go through this. To the point he, along with the rest of his family and friends, believe he will be ...
A. 23 October 2006: This one is pretty easy from the outside looking in. If he is not willing to compromise his position on marriage why should you be willing to compromise your feeling on "shacking" with someone. Its hard for you because you care for him but I don't ... (read in full...)
How do I get over him???
Q. This guy and I were together for 2 years but were talking for 5. And we broke up 7 months ago for complicated reasons, we still talk once in a while and he's been talking to another girl, but I still can't get over him. I've tried everything. I even ...
A. 23 October 2006: Everyone can't be friends with a person they just broke up with. You need some time to grieve the relationship. Take time for yourself and heal. If you keep hanging around and calling him, you will be at his mercy. You have already broken up so ... (read in full...)
I got roses from my internet guy...now my mum and her partner are paranoid...
Q. well this morning i got sent a dozen red roses. I was really happy but now im not cause my mum and her partner are going crazy they didnt like how i had been sent them. But the guy who sent them is a really nice guy (although i met him on t...
A. 23 October 2006: They have good reason to feel this way. There are a lot of weirdos on the internet and this concern is justified. Tell your friend if you haven't told him its not her place to and keep her out of any relationship you have.... (read in full...)
Why won't she have sex with me???
Q. Why wont my girlfriend have sex with me? we have been together for six months, and i thought that we should me more sexual than once a month....
A. 23 October 2006: Maybe she's just not ready!!! There isn't a time limit on were you should be sexually. I think its selfish of you to think that just because you want to she automatically should. Grow up!!!... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to ask a guy out??
Q. Hi I would like opinions on whether or not it is a good idea for a girl to ask a guy nearly the same age (although he is months older) out and what would be the best way to do this without looking desperate - guy opinions definitely welco...
A. 23 October 2006: I think asking a guy out is fine. Sometimes thats what it will take. It takes a lot of pressure off of the guy. I wouldn' mind it at all if a woman asked me out.... (read in full...)
Is he right or just using me??
Q. Im seperated from my husband and i have 3 children.I have been seeing my lover for over 3 years but he has a partner (he's not married to her.They live seperate lives and sleep in seperate bedrooms as she is alot older then him and doesn't want sex ...
A. 23 October 2006: Like everyone else said and I am in agreeance that he is using you for his own pleasure. Get out of the "relationship" now or suffer more heartache.... (read in full...)
I am in love with my brother and having sex with him
Q. I am a freshman at the university this year. This is the second year at the university for my brother Steve. Our parents decided to get us a two bedroom apartment for us to share. We have always gotten along really well and its been great. T...
A. 23 October 2006: This is beyond words. I think of it in my case I can't imagine having sex with my sisters at all. To each his own but this is not acceptable by any walk of life. You need to seek some professional help and quickly becaus this by no stretch of the ... (read in full...)
I loved him but left him because I have fallen for someone else! Is it normal to do this?
Q. I've been in a relationship for the past two years and nine months. I still love him, but I had to break up with him recently because I have fallen for someone else. I'm not certain if I truly want to be with this new guy or not, but I couldn't stay ...
A. 23 October 2006: Well, I have been that boyfriend and from his point of view its a hurtful thing because you don't know whats going on and you mention breaking up with him is the right thing to do...Well, it hurts not because your not together but because he loves ... (read in full...)
Are we or aren't we ...together? He acts like we are but says "No we aren't". I'm confused!
Q. Dear Cupids, Been seeing a guy for nearly two months, I am 25 him 29. We have been getting on really well, sex is good, we have a laugh together and there doesn't seem to be any awkwardness. We have been seeing each other a couple of ti...
A. 23 October 2006: Sounds like a good idea. The thing is people can say a lot of things but when it comes to actions they lack the conviction of what they speak. Just back off and see what happens. If he's honest about what he is saying he will come running and if ... (read in full...)
Is she really in love with me or am I losing her???
Q. my girlfriend has changed her mind on me saying that she needs a break,but i still love her and want her back.Is she genuinely in love with me or am losing her....
A. 23 October 2006: I agree with xLeahx. I think that you should give her the space she asks for and hold on if you feel its worth the wait but make sure you know the boundaries of the space she is asking for. I mean if you all can see other people or if you all are ... (read in full...)
There is nothing between us and we are still mates but I want something to happen again!!
Q. hey all cupids, A few months ago me and one of my best friends were out down my local area when we met one of my male friends mr x. we walked around for a while and me and mr x got very close we were holding hands and touching. when my friend w...
A. 23 October 2006: My suggestion would just to talk with him and see were it leads. That maybe all he wants or he could want more also. You don't know until you actually have a conversation with him. Just continue to be friends and see were it leads. Don't let ... (read in full...)
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