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... Send *ostandalone a private message | | | *ostandalone's profile: I am a 32 year old male from the US and I have alot of general life experiences. What qualifies me to help other people is the fact that I am an observer of life. I am an avid reader and majoring in mathmatics and psycology doesn't hurt. I am currently single(going through a bad break-up). I just enjoy helping people and I am very open-minded. |
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Will he lose respect for me if we go to a f***-buddy type relationship from just friends?
Q. hi im curious if there are any guys to give me some perspective. im contemplating a strictly sex/friend relationship with a friend of mine who has wanted to for some time now. i have no worries about it, i know about the attachement problems and i ...
A. 30 May 2006: Quick and easy. No!!! Once you have sex with someone I don't care how much you try someone's feelings will get involved. Therefore, you can't be friends once you have had sex. People seem to take this act so lightly and its not. When you have sex ... (read in full...)
My family are making my life hell and I want to leave
Q. dear cupid.... My boyfriend and i are both seventeen years old and love each other very much..we are realistic and are taking things one step at a time, ie we don't exactly expect to stay together forever...the problem at hand is that we are both...
A. 30 May 2006: I myself being a muslim. I would say stick to your religious beliefs. You and I both know that if you are a Muslim that it is very disciplened and alot of things are for your better good. It does work trust me. Just don't let your family confuse ... (read in full...)
My ex got bitchy by text when I told her I still wanted to be with her...
Q. Ok, I'll try to keep this short. My ex girlfriend is going to Hawaii for a week with her rebound guy (started dating him right after we broke up and then had a fight). We have been broken up for just over 3 months, and while it was tough for a wh...
A. 26 May 2006: I commend you. Stick to your guns. Quick and easy: HUMAN BEINGS TEND TO WANT WHAT THEY KNOW THEY CANT HAVE. Stop being her doormat. Find a nice person to take your mind off this crap. Trust me she will come around snooping.(Human nature) Don't ... (read in full...)
Should I be getting married when I still think about my ex
Q. Hello, I have an advice question for you if you ever have any extra time. I'm going crazy and would fully appreciate it. I am engaged to be married in less than two months to a wonderful man and I want to be married whole-heartedly. However,...
A. 26 May 2006: Honestly, I feel like you are marrying your fiance because he is everything your fiance is not and its silly to play cat and mouse games when someone else's feelings are involved. People will quote such phrases like; "If its meant to be it will be" ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my partner because I was feeling lonely
Q. i have been with my fiance for 6 years. he lives away due to him being in the army and it leaves my feeling a bit lonely. i love him very much and would never want to hurt him, but last night i had too many to drink and slept with my house mate who ...
A. 26 May 2006: I am in a similar situation with my now ex-fiance because I am the one who cheated and I confessed. It broke her and she left me. The hardest thing that I ever had to do in my life was to except that she was happy living without me. Its best to ... (read in full...)
Should I go with true love or happiness?
Q. I'm currently in a 5 yr relationship with my bf, and we're preparing to get engaged. However,I've never forgotten my ex.My true love is my ex bf, but I know that we can never be happy if we get married because he and I can't support each other ...
A. 26 May 2006: Happiness is what you want. Just because two people love eachother don't mean they should be together. Are the problems to big to work out. I honestly feel that if two people love eachother there is nothing they can't face or overcome. You will ... (read in full...)
My amazing guy tells me he loves me, but why is acting so casually ?
Q. I have been dating this guy for two months. When he is withme he is seriously the most chivolous, gentlemen guy ever! All my friends are mazed by him. He is just amazing but with one flaw. Recently, the past 2 he has been making lil plans here ...
A. 26 May 2006: My personal opinion is that he either has a girlfriend, married or he has found someone else he likes hanging with and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings.... (read in full...)
Does true love come back??
Q. Advice needed. That saying "if you love something, let It free, if it comes back to you its yours" Would that apply to love? If a loving relationship was really meant to be, and the one partner needs time to re-evaluate the relationship, and thei...
A. 26 May 2006: I sure as hell hope so as I have recently let my girlfriend go because she wants to find herself or something like that. If you feel that way give it some time and if she doesn't make a move you should.... (read in full...)
I am not physically attracted to me but shes wonderful!!!
Q. Hello. I feel sad just typing this in. My problem is that I have been dating a brilliant girl for a year now. I am in my 30's and she is a couple of years younger. I have never been treated this special by anyone before. Back to the problem: I a...
A. 25 May 2006: Don't strain yourself. Life is to short to be in an unhappy relationship. I don't suggest telling her that your unattracted to her but tell her that you just want to be friends. She will be hurt of course but you have to be true to yourself ... (read in full...)
Should I be getting married when I still think about my ex
Q. Hello, I have an advice question for you if you ever have any extra time. I'm going crazy and would fully appreciate it. I am engaged to be married in less than two months to a wonderful man and I want to be married whole-heartedly. However,...
A. 24 May 2006: Tough one. First loves are hard to forget. You have to really know and know whole-heartedly that you love your current fiance and want to be with him, because your feelings won't just go away once you have said your vows. Still there is very ... (read in full...)
Is sex all that boys want and care about?
Q. i am 15 and my boyfriend is 16. me and my boyfriend had r first date a few days ago. we have been together for a week. on r date he asked me if i wanted to go somewhere to have sex wiv him. i didnt really answer and just sort of laughed it off. he ...
A. 23 May 2006: Yes, hes a teenager and teenage guys have no concept of love unless your mom.... (read in full...)
I dumped my ex but I cannot stop thinking about her
Q. I mostly treated my girlfreind of 5 years badly but on christmas day i came home to find another man in our house we broke up. 2 days later i called her and said all was forgiven but she would not get back with me she said he treats her right i was ...
A. 23 May 2006: Man, it hurts don't it. Well this a classic case of Reaping what you Sowed. Just leave her be for now. This a true fact; Whoever cares the least runs a relationship. That means now that she has someone else you are little to nothing right now ... (read in full...)
I'm starting at the beginning. What does having a girlfriend mean?
Q. Hey: I'm in grade eleven, 16 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I have been told that I'm attractive and have a good personality, and I am pretty popular. I don't exactly know why I haven't had a girlfriend before, but it's probably be...
A. 23 May 2006: Well it seems like you are a late bloomer, which there is nothing wrong with that so was I. My advice to you is don't rush it start slow. If you are semi-popular then you have female friends. Get one of them to hook you up with a girlfriend of ... (read in full...)
For the males... Being a dad, a privelage or problem??
Q. hello i just wanted a mans opinion, if a man decides to have nothing to do with you if they get you pregnant do they ever think about there child at all or do they have no feelings towards it at all...
A. 22 May 2006: No it isn't easy. I know first hand that the woman makes it more difficult to be with your child if you are not with her, in some instances. A lot of women feel like they can say and do anything and think a man wants to be around that crap. Thats ... (read in full...)
For the males... Being a dad, a privelage or problem??
Q. hello i just wanted a mans opinion, if a man decides to have nothing to do with you if they get you pregnant do they ever think about there child at all or do they have no feelings towards it at all...
A. 22 May 2006: Of course they think about the child and you for that matter. There could be a number of things going on so to give you an honest opinion wouldn't be quite honest. But yes if they know for a fact it is their child to answer your question.... (read in full...)
How can I make him dump her?
Q. I like a boy,but he already has a girlfriend.How do I get him to dump her and make me his girlfriend?...
A. 19 May 2006: You are definitely a child. You have to be. Leave those people alone. {Slappin your hand} bad bad girl. Why would you want a guy so simple he was just dump somebody for someone else. Lets say you get him what next? Oh I know,"You're dumped ... (read in full...)
Should I get pregnant by this man
Q. This is really stupid i know but i'm completely in love with this guy, who's told me he wants to have sex with me. The thing is, i know he doesn't have any strong feelings for me, and i'm tempted to try and get pregnant with his baby so i can have a ...
A. 18 May 2006: For GOD's sake you just said it. IT'S STUPID!!! You don't want a part of him you want him. You are making a bad situation worse by having a baby by this man. If he doesn't have strong feelings for you now the only place a baby will take him is a ... (read in full...)
We went from trying to work it out to just friends, i'm so confussed!
Q. I posted a question a couple of weeks ago about me cheating on my girlfriend of 6-1/2 years and getting her pregnant. Of course we broke up but we still talked, went to movies and held hands as we have always done. She said that she wanted to work ...
A. 18 May 2006: She told me yesterday that she still loved me and wanted to work it out with me she is just trying to find herself. What self? Who was she for 6 years? I do have contact with the other girl just to make sure she is okay and to see if she needs ... (read in full...)
His nice & we have chemistry but he already has a girlfriend!
Q. iv fallen for a guy but,he has a girlfriend of 8 years!we have known each other for about 3months and we had instant chemistry. he was honest with me from the start and is always sayin he doesnt want me to get hurt. i think its to late for that.im ...
A. 18 May 2006: All I can say is this put yourself in her shoes. Obviously nothing will come from this relationship but hurt on your end. If he does leave his girlfriend for you what makes you think that you won't be the next one he cheats on. How many girls has ... (read in full...)
Once a cheater, always a cheater?
Q. I met a guy four yrs ago whilst travelling and he moved countries to be with me. We had a really great relationship and enjoyed being together and were very comfortable and talked alot. After 2yrs of living together,i had a miscarriage and he ...
A. 18 May 2006: I believe people deserve a 2nd or even a 3rd chance. You have to find a place in your heart to forgive him. I know its used up and you really don't feel like he can be faithful but anyone can change and only those who have not sinned cast the ... (read in full...)
Reconciling with my girlfriend, what do we tell her family?
Q. I'm working on trying to reconcile with my girlfriend whom I have dated for the past year. We both are divorced and have kids. When she broke up with me, she told her family that she was no longer seeing me. What can she/we say to the family that ...
A. 18 May 2006: To me you just answered your own question. You are trying to work things out. If it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't. The fact is you are all adults and adults understand that all relationships don't work out. The only thing I would be ... (read in full...)
Why do men run away and avoid responsbility when they got someone pregnant?
Q. Male point of view why do men suddenly change and run away and wont take responsibility when they have got someone pregnant.its 50/50...
A. 16 May 2006: If the man doesn't want to be a father he could have a lot of things going on in his head but trust me he is thinking about that child. He could be afraid he won't be a good father, he could feel scared of the commitment or he could just be a ... (read in full...)
I'd have bet my life my wife would never, ever cheat on me. But she has...
Q. I met my Wife when I was 21 and she was 17, we were both virgins and this was our first serious relationship for both of us. We have now been together for 17 years and happily married for the last 11 years, we also have an 8 year old boy and a 3 ...
A. 16 May 2006: Trust me. From a man who was the one doing the cheating. I was engaged when I cheated. I have regretted my actions everyday since I did. I wish everyday to take it back and I'm sure she feels the same way. Love is love. Making love starts ... (read in full...)
Why do men run away and avoid responsbility when they got someone pregnant?
Q. Male point of view why do men suddenly change and run away and wont take responsibility when they have got someone pregnant.its 50/50...
A. 16 May 2006: This can be more than one way. Some men run because the are cowards and that is wrong. You have to keep in consideration that some men just don't want to be with the mother whether there was a baby or not. Just because there is a baby doesn't ... (read in full...)
Found out my husband had a secret kid... So I've been having secret liasons with a married man!
Q. hi guys I need some help here. I know that most of you are going to judge me and call me names but I'm ready for it. I am 23/24 and I've been married for 2 1/2 years. I have no kids. 2 years ago me and husband moved to another country were I h...
A. 15 May 2006: This whole situation stinks. If you don't trust your husband leave him. Give him sometime to see what it is that he is losing and trust me he will fold like a lawn chair. Marriage is a serious institution and should not be taken lightly. Now, ... (read in full...)
Does my ex-girlfriend still care about me and want me back?
Q. So my ex and I were getting along fairly well as friends even though I still love her. The semester just ended (we go to the same college), and I went out to drink and celebrate. When I got back, I IM'd her and we were talking lightly, joking, ...
A. 15 May 2006: Its obvious she cares but you have to give her some space and let her do her own thing. You need to get your feelings in check because if you cared about her like you say you did you wouldn't put her in a position to tell you know no or make you ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get over her and forget, I need some advice....
Q. Hi - i've posted a couple of questions to this board before - and find that the process helps me a lot as there has been some excellent advice forthcoming. Its been seven months now since I split with my fiance - she's been seeing someone else sin...
A. 10 May 2006: There is obviously closure issues with you and her. You need to tell her how you feel. Though it seems stupid after so long but you don't know how she feels about the whole thing and just because her body is with him her heart could still be with ... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys. Which one should be my friend and which my lover??
Q. I stopped talking to my now x bf 6 mo ago. He was my consistant flame from day one to 4 yrs later but lacked mutual direction so I broke it off. Soon after, an old friend of the family found me and started picking me up on casual dates. He was my ...
A. 8 May 2006: Thats good for your bf and you real love never dies and real life will never cease. Keep believing and like you said trust your gut but always follow your heart.... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend and now I'm getting close to someone else. Is this a good idea?
Q. hi, about a week ago i asked if i should dump my bf cos of the way he was treating me and i did and i never felt better about myself, but there is a guy ive been getting really close to, we txt each other everyday and chat for hours every evening ...
A. 8 May 2006: I disagree with that advice. If you really like this guy you should take time to know its the real deal before you jump not just jumping on the first good thing that comes along. Be single and yourself for awhile. If you both feel that way it will ... (read in full...)
How can I win back my ex when I visit?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend after 2 and a half years and I want her back so much. I am lost without her. She lives in another part of the country and IM going to see her soon. How do I get her back?...
A. 8 May 2006: There is nothing wrong with being scared. Just visit her and be yourself. Remember what made her fall for you in the beginning and go back to the basics. Obviously she is not done with you because you can still visit her. You just have to remind her ... (read in full...)
We split and she has someone else already. I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi - I split up with my ex fiance about 6 months ago. It's been torture as she immediately started seeing someone else and they both live in the same town as me. Aside from feeling like I may bump into them at any time - I still miss her terribly. ...
A. 6 May 2006: You know how you feel now. Imagine if you found out she was pregnant. I think you need to take time and deal with the real issues. You still love this woman and you want her back. If you don't leave her be and move on. If you do or did you ... (read in full...)
Can you be in love with someone yet cheat on them?
Q. Is it possible for a bloke to cheat on his wife/ fiance and still be in love with her? Can you still be in love with someone and cheat on them?...
A. 5 May 2006: I believe you can cheat and still love. I did and do. In my relationship I didn't feel like I was good enough. Though I should have spoken and up and talked to my partner I didn't. I confessed and she left. We talk and I love her dearly but ... (read in full...)
I gave it all to the affair and now I am left with nothing.......can you help?
Q. We were best friends for 4 years and extremely close when we both discovered a deep attraction for each other. For another two years we secretly met up to spend time with each other. To be honest, she made the first move, but I felt so attached...
A. 4 May 2006: You can start with the word MAN. Men do what they must now matter how hard the decision may be. In this case you have your partner and your best friend. My advice to you, coming from a man who knows first hand, let your partner go. Let her ... (read in full...)
Due to get married shortly but have developed strong feelings for my co-worker! Everyone is looking forward to the wedding...
Q. Please help, I have been with my partner for 9 years and am due to get married shortly. I do love my partner who is a wonderful man but recently I have developed strong feelings for a collegue. This collegue and I have always had a flirty ...
A. 4 May 2006: This is a tough one. Put yourself in your partners shoes and if you were the one was planning a wedding and a life with your loved one and this comes along. It would make you question all the things that you shared and accomplished as one unit. ... (read in full...)
She wouldn't have sex til marriage and I cheated on her. What should I do?
Q. I had been with my fiance for 6-1/2 years and we were engaged 2-1/2 of them. She refused to have sex with me until marriage and she wouldn't plan a wedding that we could afford. I ended up cheating and possibly having a child on the way. I regret ...
A. 4 May 2006: I know that I screwed up big time. Thats not a question. We still talk and laugh as we used to. Its just hard for her to cope because her whole world revolved around me. I give her space and I still let her know that I love her with every fiber ... (read in full...)
She wouldn't have sex til marriage and I cheated on her. What should I do?
Q. I had been with my fiance for 6-1/2 years and we were engaged 2-1/2 of them. She refused to have sex with me until marriage and she wouldn't plan a wedding that we could afford. I ended up cheating and possibly having a child on the way. I regret ...
A. 4 May 2006: I know that I screwed up big time. Thats not a question. We still talk and laugh as we used to. Its just hard for her to cope because her whole world revolved around me. I give her space and I still let her know that I love her with every fiber ... (read in full...)
I would like to stay in contact with my ex, but how much is too much?
Q. My ex seems to contact me less and less, although I do make sure I send her an IM every now and then. When I do, we have some really good conversations. The other night, when I IMd her we only talked for a minute, but she seemed like she was upset ...
A. 3 May 2006: I think you should give her some space. You have to remember that you all were in a relationship and you are letting your feelings override your good judgement. She found a guy 2 1/2 months after you all broke up. To fast. She hasn't healed from ... (read in full...)
Perfect relationship has went sour, What can I do?
Q. I have been dating this man for a year now. we used to get along perfectly but he cheated and i triped we went through some rough times because he would leave alone the other wemon and it was driving me to act crazy. athough all this has happened he ...
A. 3 May 2006: RJGirl is obviously bitter about a past relationship. If you love someone that deep and he loves you keep it. This is only a test for your relationship. If he is willing to make it work and he has taken the proper steps to make it work let it ... (read in full...)
We broke up, found others, but now I miss him sooo much...
Q. My fiance and I hit the 7-year-itch back in 2004 and decided to split. We spent little time together and had become more like friends. We were due to marry the following year and had our own house, etc, so the break up was extremely painful in ...
A. 3 May 2006: I'm going thru something very similar. I was with this woman for 6-1/2 years. We broke up due to somewhat of the same thing. You will always love this person. You shared a life with them for 7 years. He will always love you thats probably why ... (read in full...)
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