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... Send *ostandalone a private message | | | *ostandalone's profile: I am a 32 year old male from the US and I have alot of general life experiences. What qualifies me to help other people is the fact that I am an observer of life. I am an avid reader and majoring in mathmatics and psycology doesn't hurt. I am currently single(going through a bad break-up). I just enjoy helping people and I am very open-minded. |
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When you find the right girl, will you always feel like that towards her, dispite dating others ?
Q. hi everyone, If you have say your 1,2,3 g/f when you find that right one will you alwayz have feelings for her weather it's your 1st,2nd or 3rd one ...
A. 5 October 2006: You never forget "THE ONE". You will always think of them and you will always have them in your heart not matter who you are with. Your feelings might be less intense but you will always have that feeling for them. Even if you don't see them for ... (read in full...)
We've been broken up 3 years, she is engaged to someone else but gives me the impression she doesn't want him!!
Q. I'm 38, she's 30. We were together 7 years. It was the dream relationship. Perfect. Except, I cheated. I didn't love this girl, but she was strong willed, and I gave in. It broke me and my ex up. We were engaged. I am devastated. But I am still se...
A. 4 October 2006: Thats a tough one. I have always heard that if you love someone then you let them go and if they come back they are yours. All you can do is tell her how you feel and let it go from there. You are obviously still in her heart as she wouldn't ask ... (read in full...)
The new guy excites me but im comfortable with my ex, which should I go for ??
Q. Should I give my ex another chance of stick with "the new guy?" I broke up with my ex boyfriend in Jan after living together for 3 years. I started dating another guy a month later. I really like the other guy and its obvious he likes me, but my ...
A. 4 October 2006: Well every new relationship or friendship is exciting but at the end of the day what do you want? Do you want excitement or do you want love. Excitement you can find at an amusement park or a scary movie but love isn't something you find everyday. ... (read in full...)
I got drunk and allowed this other guy to finger me! If the truth comes out I will lose my bf...help!
Q. Okay, I have a boyfriend, but on saturday night i got really drunk and this boy who nearly all my friends fancy, fingered me and i tossed him off. I love my boyfriend more then anything - bit too much. But if the truth comes out i will lose my boy...
A. 4 October 2006: Just tell him yourself, because if I know guys like I know guys he will brag on it. So instead of waiting for the news to get to your boyfriend its best he hears it from you. Everyone has to live with the consequences of his/her own decisions. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to sustain a healthy family from 2 different religions ??
Q. Hi everyone.. i was curious what way can you sustain a healthy family with 2 different religions...
A. 4 October 2006: Its difficult but doable. I dated a Christian and I am Muslim. We were to be married and discussed the issues. Like KellyO stated: We respected eachother's view and if we are to have children we will give them the knowledge to make a decision ... (read in full...)
He teases me a lot in school...do you think he fancies me?
Q. hi im 15 and this boy the same age as me in my school is always talking about people i fancy. he is always saying in front of me to other boys "she fancies you". i just laugh and say "no i dont lol". he says it to different people like everyday, do ...
A. 4 October 2006: Yes, he does like you. That's just a juvenile way to let you know. He maybe to embarrassed to tell you himself.... (read in full...)
Can someone who has cheated repeatedly, be able to change? What should I do?
Q. i am 25, my boyfriend of 2 years has just gone on i trip to dubai, the day he left i found out (by looking through his old phone) he has cheated on me not just once but many times and also uses escourts. I havent confronted him yet as he is away but ...
A. 3 October 2006: I can't speak for someone else in this matter only myself. I feel like a broken record. I cheated on my ex and I regret it even to this day as I love her very much. I vowed to never ever do it again. Not because she left me but because I caused ... (read in full...)
Ive been getting on with my ex really well, was thinking of doing something nice for our anniversary!!??
Q. Me and my ex's annivesary is coming up. We have been getting a long really well lately, talking a lot and hanging out together just me and her for the first time in many months. She is dating a guy, but she started dating him right after we broke ...
A. 3 October 2006: I agree with everyone else. Don't send the gift. She has moved on and you should do the same. If she was into you this way she would let you know. You can tell her how you feel and be done with it. Its obvious that being her friend is hard for ... (read in full...)
My girl cheated, I really love her! Was it really a genuine mistake ?
Q. My girlfriend has cheated on me and I dont know what to do coz I luv her and I cant let go despite what she has done. She says she luvs me and she does not want this to end thats whats confusing me. my question, can one cheat on someone you really ...
A. 3 October 2006: Yes you can love someone and cheat. I did. I'm not saying its right but it happens. There are a lot of factor that could have caused her to cheat. I just get tired of the line "Once a cheat always a cheat". Thats crap!!!! Its a mistake just ... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back.I forgive him for cheating, but I can never forget.
Q. My ex bf sort of cheated on me ONCE. He had a good explanation for what happened so it only appeared less cheating and just lying. The thing is he broke up with me, but now wants me back, and he is willing to do everything to make me trust hi...
A. 3 October 2006: Just don't buy into the crap that once a cheater always a cheater. Thats a woman that been hurt and is trying to push her sorted rational on you. Make your own decision on the issue. I cheated and I learned how terrible it can be for both ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to win back my girlfriends trust!!!
Q. how do i get my girlfriend to trust me? I have lied in the past about relationships and she has found out. Now she says that if we are to stand any chance i need to find a way of getting back her trust. I have been thinking of a solution for ages ...
A. 2 October 2006: This process is simply going to take time. There is not a sure fire way or some magic words you can say to make everything be okay again. Just continue to treat her well and for G-D's sake TELL THE TRUTH!!! It doesn't take much to be honest. You ... (read in full...)
Not sure if I can trust my current bf! What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for nearly a year. My previous boyfriend cheated on me (i lost count of how many times and with how many different people) this effected me very badly as i was blind and thought he was 'the one'. Since this happened ...
A. 2 October 2006: I think this thing is mostly on you. He can't make-up for the past mistakes of your ex-boyfriend nor should he have to. There are somethings that are questionable but nothing that can't be discussed rationally. You're right. You are in a ... (read in full...)
How can I make him see Im sorry for cheating and that I want him and he can trust me!!!
Q. I have been in a relationship 2 years, We are engaged and living together. I have cheated on him in the past which I'm sorry for and I would'nt do it again, but he now wont trust me at all, How can I make him see I want him and i'm sorry ?...
A. 2 October 2006: Well cheating is a hard pill to swallow for anyone. I cheated on my ex and I see her but its something that I don't think she will ever forget. It takes time. Time heals wounds but it will take patience on your part. Don't just go about it ... (read in full...)
My gf's ex is back from bootcamp in 2 weeks and she's not over him! What should I do?
Q. Im currently 18 years old, my girlfriend is 17. I know what love feels like, and I am very much in love with her. I was not happy for the first part of our relationship because I was not over my previous girlfriend, but after some closure I fell ...
A. 29 September 2006: I don't think you have much of a choice in this matter. Whether he treated her bad or not she loves him and she's not happy with you. GIve her the space and time and you move on. I think you're going to have to come to the conclusion that you ... (read in full...)
I love another married man..do you think it's time I sorted this all out?
Q. i am married and like my husband but not in love with him. i am in love with another who is also married but not in love with his wife but stays for his teenage boys we could carry on as we are for many more years, but i think it is time that we ...
A. 29 September 2006: I don't really see a question in all that. It sounds like you're just venting. If you are having an affair with this man than yes you should it would be better off in the long run for everybody not just you. Also, I think that you are being ... (read in full...)
Is it true that taller the man is the bigger his Mr junior is? Or does it vary according to ethnicity?
Q. Is it true that taller the man is the bigger his Mr junior is?? Or is it just a myth also does it vary from different race e.g. English, Black, Indian etc...
A. 29 September 2006: I wouldn't know for certain. Some women say it depends on his shoe size and his hands. Some say if he's a black me he is bigger. People have their own opinions on it. I've even heard it depends on a mans walk if its big or small. I couldn't ... (read in full...)
How can you move forward after someone has cheated on you?
Q. how do or can you move forward in a relationship when one has cheated is it healthly to move forward ...
A. 28 September 2006: How to move forward???? Good question. Willingness to make it work. You have to be willing to forgive, I mean really forgive, not just saying that you forgive. You have to know that you love that person and that person loves you. You have to ... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend that I love and I'm infatuated with another girl...what are my options?
Q. i've been going out with a girl for nearly 6 months and i really do love her, she seems to be perfect and could picture myself spending the rest of my life with her. However i have always had a wandering eye but i would never act upon, recently i've ...
A. 28 September 2006: Its just the "forbidden fruit sydrome". Everyone wants what they can't have. If you are happy with your girlfriend don't screw it up over a "maybe". When you have something special hold on to it. Have your fantasy but don't take it any futher. ... (read in full...)
I like her, she has a boyfriend...what do I do?
Q. i have a girl at my school that i like but she has got a boyfriend, i cant get over her can you help me with my love problem...
A. 28 September 2006: There is nothing much you can do except be her friend. Good Luck.... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to move on after broken relationship?
Q. Why is it so hard to move on from a broken marriage / relationship? Thought of ex with new partner is soul destroying. Why is it so tough to let go?...
A. 28 September 2006: It could be a combination of things. I broke up with my ex 9 months ago and I still miss her. Its something that gets easier to deal with in time, but to answer your question its your heart and mind. You can't forget the good times and good ... (read in full...)
I want my ex bf to stop liking me so I can move on with my new bf. What can I do?
Q. dear cupid okay i have been dating this guy for two months and we really care deeply about each other. but my ex boyfriend is really not liking it and he has never acted like that before he told me we are only friends and nothing more but my family ...
A. 28 September 2006: I don't understand. You need to be a little more clear on what it is that he is doing. If he's just not liking it, thats something he has to deal with. How long has it been since you all broke up and why did you all break up? Be a little more ... (read in full...)
My husband is no longer understanding towards my issues with sex!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have experienced a lot in that amount of time. When I was 16 years old, i was sexually assaulted and my views regarding sex changed dramitically. My husband is the first person I had sex with ...
A. 28 September 2006: My question for you is: Was this an issue before you were married? I mean if he knew the problems that you had before he married you then why is he so upset and nonsupportive now. I think that you all should get into counseling together and you ... (read in full...)
We keep breaking up, but still have sex and act like we are still together!
Q. Hi, um where shud i begin really well i was with this guy for 3 years on and off i met him over the internet when i was 16 and went to meet him, it felt like love at first sight then he left me 4 times through these 3 years and always came back to ...
A. 28 September 2006: Personally, I say let him wallow in his self pity for awhile. This gives you a chance to figure out if you want to be with him and lets him really think about what he has done. Things will never change if you keep doing the same things over and ... (read in full...)
My ex gf's bf is being possessive because he won't allow her to hang out with me! Is this right?
Q. Is my ex-girlfriend new guy being possessive? He won't let her hang out with me when it's just me and her. I wanted to take her out to a baseball game for her birthday and she said sure, but she'd have to ask him first. Well, it's a no go, he ...
A. 28 September 2006: You have to look at it from his point of view. Would you want you girlfriend hanging with her ex. Obviously you still have feelings for her and he maybe thinks that you could get back together as you all have a history. Anyhow, she is letting him ... (read in full...)
We broke up because she cheated and now..she ignores me! I still care for her..what can I do?
Q. What should I do me and my girlfreind broke up about 3 weeks ago. Well to start out she has cheated on me twice before when she was really drunk. She kissed two guys. She broke up with me first saying she felt like there was not a spark anymore. ...
A. 28 September 2006: Let her go. Human nature is to want what you can't have. You are pining for her and she could care less. Hang out with your friends and have fun. Chickens always come home to roost. Trust me, she'll be back but you have to move on and have fun. ... (read in full...)
He knows I exist so why won't he talk to me?
Q. I am a Single mother. i have a liking for this man who is 5 yrs younger than me. We are working in the same company but different dept. We do not talk to each other but he knows that i am existing. Just wonder why he does not want to talk to me? Can ...
A. 28 September 2006: I agree with Toria just talk to him. For some guys this takes a lot of pressure off.... (read in full...)
Dirty text messages found on mobile
Q. 6 monthes ago my wife had a mobile phone which i didnt know of, when i found it ,it was full of dirty texts she had sent to 2 guys. one of the guys was her friends hubby, her friend was also in on the dirty texts. now i have found she has another ...
A. 28 September 2006: You're right. She does have something to hide. You need to investigate further because something is going on thats definitely not kosher.... (read in full...)
We slept together and I haven't hard from him this week... Am I worrying too much?
Q. Hi, I have been dating a guy and it was going very well. I met his friends recently and we ended up sleeping together for the first time. We have been seeing each other for about a month. I have been away a lot of weekends visiting friends,...
A. 28 September 2006: I don't think the problem is him, I think that its you. If you have an issue with the way he is acting then maybe you need to start with how you are acting. He maybe feels dejected about all the time you are spending away. He can't really get his ... (read in full...)
Married, but unhappy. I found some happiness and then paid the price. Is my wife looking for revenge?
Q. Basically, I was in a unhappy marriage for the last 8 years and we could never really talk about anything. As soon as I would try to talk about how I felt, she would turn it around and make it about her feelings or would just say I was wrong and ...
A. 27 September 2006: Hold your head up man. Just because you cheated doesn't make you a monster first of all, and you not mentioning your children doesn't seem unfair or wrong to as Camille mentioned, because without your happiness they won't be happy so sometimes you ... (read in full...)
My girl suffers with depression and bulimia, I support her every step, but she keeps pushing me out!!
Q. Hello. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend back in December to date a new girl i know from work. It was not a clean break on my part with my ex and if i am being honest i liked the security she was offering me by wanting to stay and sort things out, i ...
A. 27 September 2006: You're right. I think it is Karma. Look how you're being treated. You treated your ex like this and were did it end up. Learn from your own experience is my advice. No matter what problems she has, you helping her thru it is not your reasoning ... (read in full...)
We act like a couple even after past history of breaking up, things are great, but we are not a couple and she's moving out! What should I do ??
Q. LONG BUT I AM DESPERATE FOR ADVICE Hi there, I am in a right old mess. I was with my gf for four years, lived together for much of it. We had usual ups and downs and had a baby last Xmas. Our ups and downs took a toll on her and her feelings cha...
A. 27 September 2006: Well to answer your last question. I think it is over. I think you changing is a good start FOR YOU and I think that you and her doing the things that you do is confusing for you. I am going thru the exact same thing. Basically, I figured it ... (read in full...)
How can I get it through to my ex, that its well and truly over!?
Q. I am hoping that some of you can help me with this problem – you see I was with my boyf for 9 years, for 2 of them we were engaged to be married, we broke up 18 months ago after I found out he had been sleeping with my supposed “Best Friend and ...
A. 27 September 2006: I have been that guy. The problem is he hasn't forgiven himself so he needs reassurance from you that he is not a bad person and now wants the love he lost. You have to be mean about it. You're hurting the situation more by feeling sorry for him, ... (read in full...)
Did my wife really stop in the middle of the act because she felt bad, or did she cheat ??
Q. did she cheat on me or not ?? me and my wife have been living together for 12 years, and have we have 2 kids. Our realationship has had its ups and downs over the years, but somehow we have made it work. About 6 months ago we had a huge fight,and...
A. 27 September 2006: Its going to be like that until you make a change. YOU are looking for change in her but the change starts with you. I feel like you have valid points and I think its harder for you to cope with this because of her lack of remorse but be honest ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel that white women are more beautiful than black women like me? Do I need professional help?
Q. i am a single black woman and i have issues with beautiful women. my self image was destroyed a while back and now when i see that black women are not as beautiful as white women so basically what im saying is what could be wrong with me or do i ...
A. 26 September 2006: I am black and I think black women are beautiful as well as white women, hispanic women, creole women.......the list goes on. Sad fact but especially in the black community, a lot of black people feel inferior to white people especially the women. ... (read in full...)
She is around a lot to be an EX
Q. I posted earlier this month and got some great advice... but still things don't seem to be getting much better. I am 24 and have an amazing boyfriend. We have been together over 10 months and we have everything I have ever wanted in a relationship-- ...
A. 26 September 2006: Well asphodel,
That would be pretty tough to handle for anyone but it seems to me that people are giving you good advice and telling you the right things. You're not going to hear much different here. I'm sure you have talked with him about it... (read in full...)
After having "Goodbye Sex", we are considering making it casual. Is this a good idea?
Q. My boyfriend and i recently broke up. We dated seriously for a year and a half. when i went over to get my stuff from his house we ended up having "goodbye sex". This led to the decision that we should keep in contact with eachother whenever we ...
A. 26 September 2006: You wouldn't be horrible just horribly mislead. This situation will lead to one of you having deep feelings and when the other person decides to leave the arrangement and date someone else the other will be crushed. This spells disaster. DON'T DO ... (read in full...)
It was a no strings sex encounter, the fact I slept with someone doesnt make me a cheat right ??
Q. Before my boyfriend and I actually got together,we basically started with screwing each other.We both barely knew each other and so forth. From what i had assumed we were just messing. I slept with him and slept over his place 2 nights in a row ...
A. 26 September 2006: From a guy's point of view, what you did was foul. Now he has to live with the stigma of you and his friend. I'm sure all of his other friends know and everytime you are around them this will be on everyone's mind. They will talk about it behind ... (read in full...)
How do I get him back, Surely he wouldnt come around to help out if he were not interested ?
Q. Hi its me again from yesterday i asked about my ex b/f who left me. Now he is saying he just wants his stuff and i cannot ever have his love anymore that i pushed him away. he wants to come over to do the yard but i told him thats okay i can do it ...
A. 26 September 2006: If he left there is no getting him back until he wants to come back. I think he comes around because he does miss you and want to see you. He just has to much pride to actually say, "I want to be with you" or "I really miss you". Give it time and ... (read in full...)
Can someone really change the way they view sex ?
Q. Do people change? My boyfriend has lead a promiscuous past and I can't seem to get over it. He says he loves me and wants to marry me, and I believe him, but isn't it just a change of circumstances? In other words, if he weren't in love, wouldn't he ...
A. 26 September 2006: I think you need to leave his past in the past and make the best of what you have now. He can't change his past and you going over and over it doesn't change it either. You have to except the man that he is now and love him unconditionally. If ... (read in full...)
We've been together for a month, she's pregnant, and I don't know if I'm the father... Help!
Q. So i was dating my girlfriend for only one month, when she tells me that she is pregnant. The first thing i asked her was she one hundred percent that the baby was mine. She said yes, with out a doubt it was mine. The only thing i know to do is to ...
A. 15 September 2006: Man thats pretty bad. I know there is a DNA test you can have done before the birth but its very expensive. That is if you NEED to know now. If I were in your shoes, I would be there for her and continue to support her, because breaking up with ... (read in full...)
Has everyone cheated at least once in their lives ???
Q. I'm curious. I jus want 2 know has every person cheated at least once in thier lifes? I jus find that alot of people on here have alot of questions about it n it seems alot of us have done it....
A. 15 September 2006: I couldn't speak for the entire world or even the entire US but I know that I am guilty of cheating on my ex. Believe me, thats something that is really not what its cracked up to be. I hurt the person I love most in the world. If you love who ... (read in full...)
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