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... Send *ostandalone a private message | | | *ostandalone's profile: I am a 32 year old male from the US and I have alot of general life experiences. What qualifies me to help other people is the fact that I am an observer of life. I am an avid reader and majoring in mathmatics and psycology doesn't hurt. I am currently single(going through a bad break-up). I just enjoy helping people and I am very open-minded. |
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Can a man be in love with his mistress and wife at the same time???
Q. Can a man be in love with his mistress and his wife at the same time? But is torn between the two....
A. 12 September 2006: Martini. You went to the bottom of the ocean on that!!! You have to also understand that yes there are variables that determine stances on your theory. Yes, lust and love have something in common. You can have either without the other. Now to ... (read in full...)
She cheated and now wants another child...
Q. I met and dated my wife for 3 years before we married. Everything was wonderful. She had 2 children from a previous marriage who were very young (7 months 2 1/2 years) when I came into the picture and who I adore. We do joint custody with the ...
A. 12 September 2006: You haven't given yourself time enough to heal. Now, you have moved back with the intention of making it work. Thats commendable but with that said you have to put it in the past and if you haven't then it won't work with or without a child ... (read in full...)
She played with my emotions twice and now she's angry when a I put my foot down...
Q. i don't know what on earth to do right now. my "best friend" and i have been friends for a while now. but back a few months ago, she confessed her feelings for me and told me she wanted to be with me and leave her partner. we wound up hooking up, ...
A. 12 September 2006: What do you mean "how should I proceed from here?" You're doing fine right now. You told her how you felt. The only thing left for you to do is stick to your guns. This behaviour of hers is totally unacceptable and should be addressed and thats ... (read in full...)
My ex that cheated got back in touch to apologise, I said it doesnt make things right and now hes not talking to me!
Q. I dumped my boyfriend of four years over six months ago, because I found out he was cheating. I was devastated at the time because I really loved him. He tried contacting me in the beginning, but I ignored him and got on with my life, he hurt me ...
A. 12 September 2006: I agree with anon. I think that people who try to talk against your heart or what you feel have been hurt so badly that they can't advise because they can't see past their own pain. I am a child who was conceived out of an affair. My father was ... (read in full...)
I cheated a while ago, now she has cheated, but shes always flirtng online, is this doomed ?
Q. PLIZ HELP...I've known my girlfriend for 3 years, we once broke up coz I was seeing another girl. But we got back together 1 1/2 years ago coz we still luved each other so much. but it has been a distance relationship. I vowed I would make it up to ...
A. 12 September 2006: I agree with Irish on this one. You have to let her go and let her find her nitch. Those feelings of hurt are still there and its time for a break, a real break!!! You have to let her go out there and find out what the cold world has to offer as ... (read in full...)
Could he have snogged another while he was away???
Q. Hi there, This is a really silly problem but i cant get it out of my head. My boyfriend has just spent a weekend in New York with his best friend, who is single. I asked him whether his friend scored any women at all and he said yes, he did...
A. 12 September 2006: TRUST. Until you have reason not to. You're worrying yourself over unknowns and you are only hurting yourself. Every man doesn't cheat or gets some just because he can. Some of us actually have enough gall to love who we are with. Forget it and ... (read in full...)
Can a man be in love with his mistress and wife at the same time???
Q. Can a man be in love with his mistress and his wife at the same time? But is torn between the two....
A. 12 September 2006: I don't think so. I feel like a man who has love for his wife wouldn't have a mistress. Have an affair and still love I can see because there could be something missing at home at some point. That doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife. I think ... (read in full...)
I think he shows me love because he doesn't want to hurt me...
Q. my bf is always telling me that he love me and he will always love me.he is also showing it to me that he do love me.but i have my feeling doubt about it. i am so scared that sometime he is showing to me so much love and makes me feel that maybe he ...
A. 12 September 2006: I think you are being a bit paranoid for no reason. Has he given you any indication that he will do anything to hurt you? Enjoy the ride and don't worry about the destination. Don't concentrate on what might be and what could happen. Just love ... (read in full...)
I want them both...What should I do???
Q. im feeling really depressed cuz i've hurt someone's feelings real badly.i broke up with my ex last year because our parents disapprove of our r/s for religious reasons. im 18 btw and he's 21. another reason why we broke up was also bcuz i broke his ...
A. 12 September 2006: I can see why you are torn. Religious background plays a big part in some people's decisions. I know this because I am a Muslim. The best advice I can give you is to follow your heart. I wouldn't suggest starting with this new guy when you still ... (read in full...)
I Can't do right for doing wrong - what am I to do?!
Q. I've been going out with this girl for 3 months. The way we met was amazing. It took some time to get close to her as she has been hurt before. Hurt in a physical way. She is 22 and i am 32. We have had our issues and our arguments. Now i am a ver...
A. 11 September 2006: Sorry, I hit the wrong button..... She will continue to treat you like this because you allow it. She has given you every indication that she doesn't see you that way. Does she have to set you on fire and dance around your burning body for you to ... (read in full...)
I Can't do right for doing wrong - what am I to do?!
Q. I've been going out with this girl for 3 months. The way we met was amazing. It took some time to get close to her as she has been hurt before. Hurt in a physical way. She is 22 and i am 32. We have had our issues and our arguments. Now i am a ver...
A. 11 September 2006: My my my....Excuse me while I tap on your shoulder. She's not interested. A person who cares the least controls a relationship because they are not willing to compromise. You sir care THE MOST... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my boyfriend - but he is 21 and I'm only 14!
Q. ive bin with my boyfrien 4 seven months im 14 and hes 21 we have decided to have sex and got contraception and such like but im really nervous because i dnt no wat mt body should look like plz can you help me ? ...
A. 11 September 2006: I think you are too young and he is too old. You should be planning a trip to McDonald's with your friends instead of picking out contraceptives. I know the advice you get here will not influence your decision on way or the other but you need to ... (read in full...)
Is this 'the one'?? I have nothing to compare it with..
Q. How common is it for your first serious relationship to be the person that you end up spending the rest of your life with? I love my guy to death and want to marry him but part of me wonders if it's because he's the only person I've ever experienced ...
A. 11 September 2006: Its hard to tell. Some marriages work out with the first love some don't and who's to say that the next love will work or won't. If you want to experience more or feel like there is something else that you are missing than I suggest you go out and ... (read in full...)
Is the grass greener on the other side - or am I kidding myself?
Q. In Love with two guys... Ive been seeing my boyfriend for 3years now, I love him so much, I know he'd do anything for me and he'd never hurt me... but to be honest Im bored, we like very different things but most of the time I just give in and...
A. 11 September 2006: Well it seems to me you have become complacent in your current state of affairs. I think you do lust for this other guy maybe not just for the sex but for something different. If you have problems with your car you don't go out and buy an new one ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant from being fingered?
Q. can you get pregnant from being fingered? the thing is at the weekend my boyfriend fingered me and it was really good. then i touched his cock but i didnt do anything an he didnt cum. he hadnt done anything else to himself and if he did then it w...
A. 11 September 2006: OMG!!!! No you can't get pregnant this way. There has to be sperm and an egg combination. A finger I'm afraid just doesn't cut it. How old are you anyway? I'm curious. Be aware of these things before you get into them. You will end up hurting ... (read in full...)
Does she really want to break up, or has she had second thoughts?
Q. My girlfriend wants a break so I went round and got all my stuff but she kept on dropping little hints before we went on are break like If we break up will you still come round for dinner on Sundays and would you still talk to me If we break up ...
A. 11 September 2006: I don't think so. Give her what she wants and thats a break. All those privledges she is asking you about goes out to the window when you break-up. Don't concern yourself with it. You can't be friends right off the bat because you still have ... (read in full...)
What can I do - I don't want to lose her
Q. I need help my gf wants a break for two weeks I've gave her one but I think she is going to break up with me I dont want to lose her and I want to phone her as well what should I do ?...
A. 11 September 2006: Give her what she asks for. You can't make someone be with you or want to be with you. By making a stance in this manner you are more likely to lose her for good than keep her with you. Give her the space she asks for. If you don't she will ... (read in full...)
I like him - but he is gay!
Q. There is this one guy I was interested in dating, but I found out that he is gay. He and I have a lot in common, but I am worried about this....
A. 11 September 2006: What are you worried about. HE'S GAY!!! Move on to a heterosexual man. I was told there are some out there. Sorry, its a little harsh but it is confusing to see that. You can't change his sexuality because you like him. Good Luck.... (read in full...)
I love her so much but I feel like I'm missing something in my life. Do I need to date other girls?
Q. Hello There, I am 20, and have been going out with a girl for nearly a year now. At first it really was amazing for me. I had never dreamed that I could ever meet a girl who liked me who was so beautiful, because I'm really not a good looking guy...
A. 11 September 2006: I don't get it??? In the last sentence of the second paragraph you said you can't see your future without her but by the fourth you can't. Quick change. If thats the way you feel then fine. You have to let it be known to her that you want to see ... (read in full...)
What exactly is the G-spot and how can I find it??
Q. What exactly is the G-spot and how can i find it? ...
A. 11 September 2006: Now that is something I didn't know. Nice bit of info.... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want a girlfriend but we still have sex...
Q. ryt well i was seeing this lad for about 2 months and we were really really getin on with each but all of a sudden he sent me a txt saying he dosnet want a girlfreind and he still wants 2 be friends. but i see him out all the time and i have 2 t...
A. 11 September 2006: You my dear are being used. Call it what it is. He knows he can have sex without you with no strings attached and thats what he is doing and as long as you let him thats all you will have is a sex partner. Tell him to go to hell and find someone ... (read in full...)
We broke up but he still speaks to me in a sexual manner???
Q. I split up with my boyfriend 2 months ago, we had been living together for 6 years. In that time he was unfaithful twice, both times I forgave him. Since he finished with me we still keep in touch. He says he wants to just be friends but still ...
A. 11 September 2006: Personally, I just thinks he wants his cake and eat it too. He can date anyone he wants and still have you too. I know you love him but have some self-respect. Tell him it is or it isn't. If he can't just be friends than maybe you shouldn't ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my girlfriends past???
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about four months and we are definately in love with each other. We spend everyday together, but don't live with each other. We are already talking about marriage but there is one thing lingering and eating ...
A. 11 September 2006: That is a tough one. Who knows??? I mean you can always say her past is the past and don't we all have the right to change and can't we all change. Sex is a very intimate thing for me as well. I would be very skeptical about her past too but ... (read in full...)
Hes never affectionate to me when out with friends, hardly see him and he still has feelings for his ex!!!
Q. Write me 'n' my boyfriend have been going out 6 months now and were really nice to each other but he will never be affectionate in front of his friends he is never with me and we hardly get to see each other i don't know what to do because he has ...
A. 11 September 2006: It seems to me that he is still holding on to hope that he and his ex could get back together. He doesn't want to get to attached to you or have you get to attached to him so it will be an easy break if he did get back with her. There's a lot of ... (read in full...)
She convinced me to fall in love with her, I did and then she flipped out on me!!
Q. I'm sort of in a very... distressing situation right now. Last year, I dated my best friend for about 5 months, and it was the greatest time of my life. However, around October of last year, she started flirting with another guy (while we were still ...
A. 11 September 2006: I have to commend you for your ability to forgive. I don't know that I am that strong. You need to tell her staight out. Be with me or leave me FOR GOOD!!! You can't continue like this. If you do then it will break you. When you tell her this ... (read in full...)
How can I get back with my girl after cheating on her ?
Q. How can I get back together with my girlfriend after I cheated on her? My girlfriend of a year recently dumped me after finding out I cheated on her with someone else roughly 5 months ago. I didn't tell her because I was afraid of losing her becau...
A. 11 September 2006: Just be a great friend. Do all the things that she fell in love with in the first place. Now is the time for growth for you. While giving her the space and time she needs also make adjustments to yourself. You don't have to tell her about them ... (read in full...)
Why wont my work guy leave his girlfriend ??
Q. I am in my twenties and have been seeing a guy from work for almost a year. He has been with his girlfriend for nearly 3 years and although i have never asked him, he has made it clear that he will not leave her. They do not see each other regularly ...
A. 11 September 2006: For G-D's sake, why would you want him? So you can be the next girlfriend that gets treated this way. However your relationship starts is how it is damned to end. You are walking into a storm. Cry your tears on your own terms and walk away. You ... (read in full...)
he called me nasty names but claims he loves me!!?
Q. What does it mean when your boyfriend of a year gets angry and starts calling you names when you are arguing and he makes you cry, by calling you a "slut", "hoe", "dirty" and that hes had better than you, even though he is in love with you???...
A. 11 September 2006: Not love at all. There is something bigger going on in his head than you. I don't suggest you continue with this man but if you do find out what it is thats going on in his head before it destroys your self-esteem. Sometimes love hurts but it ... (read in full...)
I broke up with because I was no longer in love with him, hes hurting and wont let go, and this in turn is killing me!
Q. Hi please help me if u hav any ideas on what i can do, iv split up with my boyfriend about a week and half ago after being together for a year, and although i love him, im no longer 'in love' with him. we argued and fought a lot which is the reason ...
A. 11 September 2006: I have been that man before. The difference with your situation and mine is my ex always kissed me and held my hand and lay on my chest when we were together. This gave me false hope of reconciliation. I finally had to lay down some ground rules ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my on off guy realise that I want a great life with him ?
Q. I am divorced seeing a guy 9 years younger, on and off for the past 5 years, i want more but it feels like he is testing me all the time to prove myself to him. i have 2 children my own home. what do i do to prove i have waited all this time for ...
A. 11 September 2006: Thats a lot for some guys to swallow. I mean instant family. You have instant responsibilities and ties. I don't think that you or the commitment is his problem but maybe everything that comes with it. He goes from being a guy on his own to ... (read in full...)
Will the "No Contact Rule" work ?
Q. The No Contact Rule My wife recently separated from me. I still love her and would love her to come back to me, but she says that she can't be friends anymore, as she knows no other separated couples that are friends. It has been suggested t...
A. 11 September 2006: NO CONTACT!!!! Tried it. The only thing I can say is this. When you have no contact make sure you have no contact FOR YOU!!! Having no contact in an effort to win her back or make her miss you still leaves you mind in limbo. You have to do this ... (read in full...)
No sex for 8 months, Im frustrated and he doesnt know why he doesnt feel like it..Thinking of a one night stand!!
Q. OK, I just want your opinions on this one and what you'd do if you were in the same situation... I've been eith my bf for about 18 months now, i love him so much! We live together but for the past 7-8 months we have no passion or sexual contact w...
A. 11 September 2006: I have never actually had this problem but I did want to tell you that having a one night stand is the last thing you need to do. I think you should seperate for awhile and this will wake him up and I bet then his sex drive will come back. As long ... (read in full...)
She is still in contact with the ex, but swears its me she loves despite having feelings for him! What should I do ?
Q. Me and this girl started dating recently (a couple months ago). She was in a relationship for almost 3 years with a guy she swore she wasn't happy with. Well we kept talking and we are dating now. She broke up with him beacause she wasn't happy and ...
A. 8 September 2006: Well to answer question 1, Love is a hard thing to get over especially if the break-up is fresh. She still loves him but needs time to sort thru her feelings of being without him. I mean 3 years is a long time.
Question 2: I suggest talking ... (read in full...)
How can I determine his honesty or is it once a cheater always a cheater ?
Q. After a year of dating exclusively my ex admitted to cheating once, while on a 'boys night' seven months into the relationship. He said he felt like crap and didn't know how to tell me. I could feel something was wrong-so the relationship declined ...
A. 8 September 2006: Well anon,
I cheated on my ex and I can say that the phrase, "Once a cheater always a cheater" is very empty and dry. I did it once and I have vowed never again!!! I felt just as much pain as she did and I cried just as much as she did. When yo... (read in full...)
Can I get him into kissing ? And whats the best way to iniate sex ?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't kiss. He claims he hasn't "made out" with anyone for about 10 years, and that his wife wasn't big on kissing or making out. He says he doesn't like the feeling of hot breath on his face. He expects me to be ready to go as s...
A. 8 September 2006: I can understand not wanting to kiss someone when you barely know them, I'm like that. I'm a germaphobe but if thats your significant other than thats the start of foreplay. I think you should tell him how you feel. Don't attempt to initiate sex ... (read in full...)
Is his request normal ?
Q. my boyfriend wants me to call out my ex boyfriends name when we are having sex. i find this uncomfortable. is this normal? ...
A. 8 September 2006: Yeah, thats a new one to me but weird as hell nevertheless. I for one don't want to even think about my girl being with someone else much less call out their names. You all should talk and figure out what it is that is going on in his head. Good ... (read in full...)
I read her emails and found out shes been seeing one of my friends!!
Q. I've had suspissions that my girlfriend has a thing for a close friend of mine. They always seem to be talking or texting each other. So I thought i would talk to her about it. She said i was just being silly and imagineing it. I didn't believe her, ...
A. 8 September 2006: Two words. Confront her. Also, confront him. I agree with Pete as always. She will feed you a pack of lies then get angry that you snooped in her e-mails. Call her out and make her tell you the truth.... (read in full...)
Why does my ex keep pestering me for sex when we broke up 4 years ago!?
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me 4 years ago. In those 4 years he has kept in touch with me. He always wants to have sex with me. Why wont he move on? He broke up with me! What should I do?...
A. 7 September 2006: Martini, Martini *shame shame once again*. I agree but man you really lay it on. Great advice though!!! I agree with Martini (not so harshly). Just don't talk to him. It shouldn't matter what he wants, thinks or worries about. You're not with ... (read in full...)
I love him, but dont like sex, I will do anything to avoid it, could this end our relationship ?
Q. i know this may seem realy silly but i do not like sex. i have been with my partner just over 3 years and try everthing to avoid it. We are both very much in love but have only slep together around 10 times, he keeps asking me but i try my best to ...
A. 7 September 2006: Thats the same problem I had with my ex, except we didn't have sex at all and notice I did type EX. It ended up with me cheating on her. I loved her dearly and would have given her the world so instead of pressuring her and making the relationship ... (read in full...)
Why can't he perform when he's with me???
Q. I want to know if I'm freaking out over nothing. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and before he met me, he had a very colourful past and slept with tons of women. Anyway, he is faithful to me now and loves me very much and claims to ...
A. 7 September 2006: I can't speak for him but I know in my personal history it seems as though I perform better with women I don't care about not because I care more or they are prettier but because I'm not afraid to fail. When my ex and I made love it was lack-luster ... (read in full...)
I split with my boyfriend of 4 years, im now feeling down and not sure about my decision!
Q. I am feeling really rubbish right now. I split up with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years three weeks ago and although we said in the near future we wanted to be friends we haven't spoke in about a week and I am really starting to miss him and wan...
A. 7 September 2006: I can almost understand but I have some questions. All these things that you accussed him of, did you ever talk to him about it? You said he didn't make you feel special anymore, did you try to spice things up yourself? Now, you said you miss him ... (read in full...)
I passed wind and my boyfriend dumped me!!!
Q. My fella has finished with me because i accidently passed wind!I said i was sorry but he wouldn't listen,he said i was disgusting.I really miss him,what shall i do?...
A. 7 September 2006: Yeah, I agree with everyone else. He's an ass!!! Forget him. I know its hard to do but easy to say. If thats all you did and he dumped you he wasn't serious anyway. Just think if he does get back with you and your relationship really has ... (read in full...)
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