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I am in love with my brother and having sex with him

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 October 2006) 40 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2008)
A female , *unnyjoy writes:

I am a freshman at the university this year. This is the second year at the university for my brother Steve. Our parents decided to get us a two bedroom apartment for us to share. We have always gotten along really well and its been great.

Three weeks ago Steve was sitting around one morning in his shorts studying. I was in my panties and bra when I went into the kitchen to fix something to eat. He came in and hugged me from behind and gave me a kiss on the neck. I turned and we were face to face. It was like time stopped. We looked into each others face and than kissed. It was so cool so we kissed again. We began to kiss longer and soon we were making out and pulling each others clothes off. We ended up in my bed together having sex.

We had not planned it but we talked about it and admitted that we had both enjoyed it. Ever since than we have been having sex. We now even sleep in the same bed together. We both love each other in a more special way than ever before.

The problem is that we are keeping it secrete from our friends and family. I would like to just tell everyone but Steve says it is best to just keep it quiet, because they wouldn't understand. I hate keeping this secret from our parents but I know they would be hurt. What should we do? We love each other very much.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

That is really weird find someone else! Wat if u get pregnant! wat u gonna tell ur kids? That his/her father is ur bro. Thats just wrong. Anyways good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

good luck to you two i say, try to treat this as a normal relationship and expect that if you have a fall out someone might have to move out.

if you are in love and want to marry, you are ganna have to look at some serious stuff, like moving away from all that you know, even your parents and start a new life, though hopefully you can talk to your parents and be open, though sadly im very doubtfull of this.

as someone who understands medicine i can tell you that, unless you guys are the product of incest, if you wereto have children they will be fine, though if you do go down this road, the doctors will know in an instant and you will have to explain to them as well, but that it is not for along time.

for now just have fun, do what you love, why not go for a trip away at some point to where you have never been and have a date, go to a nice restaurant and hold each others hands in public, maybe wait till there are sopme people around you and lean acrss the table and kiss your brother, see how it feels out in the world.

hope i helped you, if you wanna contact me my email is

[email address blocked]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007):

I don't think what she's doing is disgusting. Didn't you read her follow-up post below where she said their relationship is based on true love? And that they love and care for each other more than ever before? As far as birth defects, they are not universally true in cases of incest. Not all incest-related births result in birth defects. They are keeping this a secret because they know their relatives will react negatively to their relationship and will not understand.

As long as they both truly love each other, that is all that really matters.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007):

I really do think that this is disgusting. I think it should stop immidietly, without anyone finding out, espically your family and freinds. Incase you arent aware this is against the law, and why do you think this is? Because the goverment dont want it to happen? NO because it is genetically dangerous. What would happen if you got pregnant?This can damage the babies health and if they want children so on and so forth. The whole DNA will be messed up. Talk through it with your sibling, i also think its strange that he doesnt want people to know, quite obviously he knows nothing will come out of it, its just sex, but you need to come to an agreement. And you need to make it stop, before you get hurt and hurt you familys feelings.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

Sex between brothers and sisters happens more often than most people would think. As long as you both feel like you love each other and enjoy your relationship, that is all that matters. However, I would NOT tell anyone else about it, because they probably will not understand and will think you are sick or perverted or will otherwise judge you. They also will probably tell others that you wouldn't want to know about it. I definitely also would NOT tell your parents or other family.

If anyone else here has had sex with an opposite-sex sibling, please reply to this post and relay your experience here.

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A female reader, coconips United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2007):

is steve ur real brother or step brother?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

My sister is two years younger than me, and we both went to the same university. The year I graduated, we shared an apartment for the summer months. My sister had a full time job and I was just hanging out until starting graduate school in the fall. During the first week, we were up late drinking and I ended up admitting to my sister that I was depressed because I was still a virgin. As you might guess, her efforts to cheer me up ended up with us having sex. In the morning, we were both embarassed about what had happened, but we were able to talk about what this meant for us. We both felt that it was a special moment that we would never regret. We recognized that while we loved each other, we were brother and sister and we would eventually have relationships with other people and probably marry and have children. For the rest of the summer, my sister and I became lovers, sleeping in the same bed and sharing our lives in every way. After that summer, I went on to graduate school and my sister continued her univeristy degree. We both missed each other terribly for months, but we accepted that what we had shared was temporary. Eventually we dated other people, married and had families. That was over twenty years ago, and since that time we have occationally had sex or a passionate kiss during a quiet moment. But no one knows that we have a special relationship.

Our experience has been that if you can keep your relationship secret, and you both recognize that it is not going to lead to marriage, then it can work out. We both feel that our relationship has made our marriages stronger, because we have someone with whom we can be completely open when times are bad. Regardless of what people think, there are many things that you absolutely can not say to your husband or wife. With my sister, I have a person I can share intimate details of my life. I know that if I did not have her I probably would have had an affair that would have led to the end of my marriage. Be honest with each other, and you may develop a supportive relationship that fills your life with happiness.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

Dear Bunnyjoy:

It sounds like you really are in love with your brother, so you should keep your relationship with each other a secret. Some people will not understand and think what you're doing is disgusting, but I am not one of those people. As long as you both enjoy this relationship, I say keep having it, but like I said, keep it a secret. One thing that may happen is that this relationship might end, like so many other college relationships do, after you leave college and you start seeing other people.

If you are still checking these replies, please update us on where things are with your relationship with your brother.

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A female reader, workon123 United States +, writes (6 October 2007):

Dont tell your parents...having sex is ok, but dont tell anyone...secrets are good. Keep having sex.

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A male reader, int5 United States +, writes (4 October 2007):

I think thats SOOOOOO HOT!!! I support you 100% love is love,dont let anyone else tell you different. I find it a turn on when a girl does her brother or is involved with him. i wish you all the luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007):

I am so jealous, my sister and I have flirted all our lives.Most of all I would like to tell her how much I love her and enjoy the wonderful pleasure of being with her. Everything I have read suggest that sister brother sex is the best sex ever, what you have should stay between the two of you. It is no one else's business what two consenting adults do. Most of all enjoy it while it last. No guilt and no shame in what you are doing and don't listen to the judgmental people are the one who cause hate start wars.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

Dear Bunnyjoy,

I think you are committing to a beautiful thing, and you should keep doing it if it makes you happy. I think there should be more people like you, who are courageous enough to share such personal experiences.

I am not against incest as long as it is of age, consensual and there is no history of (or current sexual/physical/verbal) abuse.

To those who take a Christian perspective, how did Adam and Eve's children bear children? In the view of Darwin's theory of evolution, how did the first humans procreate? There had to be some sister/brother sex somewhere along the line.

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A male reader, dorfmeistersfan +, writes (27 December 2006):

dorfmeistersfan agony auntThis may appear sick and digusting to some, b/c they never been in this situation or may have had their part of a "brain center"-the amygadala, ever challenged in this capacity.

True, it's genetically risky to be having sex with someone who has a similar genetic makeup as yourself due to genes, when they combines during meiosis, have a chance to over express certain genes, giving rise to abnormal appearing siblings. So, becareful of conceiving kids for the sake of this, but as far as sex, as long as noone is making kids here, the sex you're having is probably amazing-SO KEEP IT UP!

However, as far as keeping secrets from parents, this is definitely an unacceptable practice in all parts of humanity in the USA. I know you may love him passionately and hate keeping this a secrete, but you don't have a choice. Don't compromise yourself by making a choice to inform your parents of this..YOU CANNOT-YOU CANNOT TELL THEM THIS EVER-THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, B/C THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS ACT REGARDLESS OF YOUR FEELINGS, LOVE, AND ACCEPTANCES.......it will break their hearts and soul-UNFORGIVABLE.

Good luck with this, and may your life continue to be happy!

[email address blocked]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006):

That's so disgusting and wrong! Me and my brother are closer than close with only 23 months between us and being together everyday even now (he's 18 I've just gone 20) and of course I love him dearly but I wouldn't dream of doing that, nor would he. It's sick.

You both need help. Seriously! There's no good excuse for this.

I don't understand why you didn't stop him

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006):

hey

what u doing is wrong. there is so many people out there who will love to have sex with u. later on u might have a baby from him. how u are going to explain that u your son or daugther that his or her dad was your brother, this is just not acceptable..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2006):

this is just disgusting,find somebody else to have sex.you should be ashamed .

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A female reader, vion Namibia +, writes (28 October 2006):

vion agony auntWhat is love? Everyone has an opinion on love, but few are brave enough to define it. To me love is the affinity experienced between two people who are naturally able and willing to tune into one another's emotional, intellectual, and physical states - and respond to them in a nurturing and a stimulating way.

Now why do I come out in support of this woman? Because I too, am involved in a sexual relationship with my brother. We have been sexually active since our early teens and have been living together as husband and wife for nearly twenty years now. We have four beauty children together and out lives together isn't any different from other 'normal' people.

If you feel this is what you want, go for it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006):

girl, stop immediately. you have your whole life ahead of you. if u have kids they will probably suffer a severe handicap. this is wrong, illegal and unfair to everyone. there is a whole world out there for u to explore. for everyone's sake including yours get out before its too late. have the courage and the maturity to do this for everyone especially you.

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A female reader, Lemonpixie United States +, writes (26 October 2006):

Lemonpixie agony auntOk, you and Steve obviously want to be together, so be it no one can stop it but for the love of your parents NEVER TELL THEM!!!! You're best bet if you want to stay with your brother (which I don't condone but love is love and honestly there are men who beat, abuse and cheat so whose worse?) is to move far far far far away... like another country far. Your parents will just think you guys are living together so they probably won't freak. And when you visit make it look platonic. If gay's in the 50's could pretend to be just roomates so can you guys... but keep it that way!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006):

i agree with eyeswideopen.. this woman does NOT have a problem and is NOT looking for help, input, thoughts or answers. this woman asked 'what should i do ? ' ..now that people answered her question she totally ignores the answers. listen bunny, without prejudice, i think you should stop worrying or discussing your sexual/personal drama since you obviously love your biological brother and nothing or no one can / will stop you. so really you don't have a problem.

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (24 October 2006):

Astrid agony auntWell I think it is not a good idea to do this again one of u 2 should be reponsible enough to stop it and move to a different flat renta room in your shared falt so u get the money for the other to get away, it is not right what u did consider it a thing that never happened and stay separated for a time you will find any other man who would turn you on as nuch as him and who will make you feel what real things about love go like it is not just a fuck with the first person at hand even if it is your brohter. I am sure lots of men can turn you on as well and you will find them far more interesting than you're brother...

I seriously think you need counselling as soon as possible

move darling he's made the move and u cannot stop now maybe you're being emotionally abused?

good luck

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 October 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntOnce again we have a person who is not looking for any advice or help so there really is no reason to respond to her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006):

i disagree with angelpuss when she says that animals do this sort of thing. because actually, that's not true. even they really don't tend to mate with members of their own litter or 'family' so to speak. anyway, i'm trying to keep an open mind about this issue, and not let society's blatantly negative view of incest bias my thoughts on the matter. but when you look cross-culturally, incest is severely looked down upon EVERYWHERE. even indegineous cultures that are not developed have such negative views on incest. which means that it's become a known fact everywhere, that this sort of attraction is not 'natural' by any means. my point of view, and i'm a psychology major so hopefully my thoughts are somewhat based on facts rather than opinion, is that you should potentially seek counseling. you may not think that there's anything wrong with you or that just because you're attracted to your brother doesn't mean that psychologically you're disturbed. but you may come to learn that this sort of thing is not natural behavior, and that for someone to feel this way towards family members, may indicate that there is something wrong with your attachment style. or something went wrong along the way of your natural development. anyway, that's all i got. that and i guess 'bro's before hoes' is a good motto for you.

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2006):

maxsteel86 agony auntThis is a fake question isn't it? I think someone has been reading too many books by Virginia Andrews!!!

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A female reader, Bunnyjoy +, writes (23 October 2006):

Bunnyjoy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Maybe society says it is wrong but we love each other and care about each other. We have known each other all our lives and have been close and good friends to each other. Now we realized that our feelings are more than just brother sister or as good friends. It has evolved into true love. How can love be wrong? By the answers some people have given I think they might be right and just not say anything at least for now. We use contraceptives so we wont have any children. We know that is dangerous. We figure we already have the same last name so if we go someplace after college to live together they will just assume we are married.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (23 October 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntBunnyjoy and Steve...hummmm...nope that just doesn't cut it. No future here.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

im sorry! but this is all wrong! its not normal! if u had children etc they would have problems, let alone the upset it would cause in the family! cant u see it wrong?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

the questions to you and him are: what kind of moral values do you hold and uphold ?, what kind of moral beliefs do you believe ?, what is your ethical and moral principles ? what is your conviction ? what is your conscience telling you ? how do you define respect ? how do you value yourself ? .. answer these questions honestly, evaluate yourself and face reality ...

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A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (23 October 2006):

Lostandalone agony auntThis is beyond words. I think of it in my case I can't imagine having sex with my sisters at all. To each his own but this is not acceptable by any walk of life. You need to seek some professional help and quickly becaus this by no stretch of the imaginatioin is right. Good Luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

All issues aside if you are going to continue this you are best not to tell any family or friends. No one is likely to understand.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

This is incest, and it will cause pain and upset within the family.

If you have seen the TV drama "Brookside", as aired on Channel 4 in the United Kingdom, you will see the reaction it causes within the dynamics of a family.

AC

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

Strictly speaking its against the law but is it just sex lust or love lust? If its just for sex, end it now before you get hurt, if its love- like real love- well, come out with it. Some people were just meant to be.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

your brother is right when he says not to tell anyone because its true - they wont understand and you and him may be rejected from your family, as it is seen as wrong. But no one can tell you what to do...if you both dont see a problem with it and its not hurting anyone else...then, as adults, you can choose to do what you want.

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A female reader, mwest United States +, writes (23 October 2006):

Stop right now! What are you both crazy or something. This is not normal behavior for a brother and sister. I think you both need somekind of counseling, quickly.

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A female reader, andrea23 +, writes (23 October 2006):

andrea23 agony auntyou need to stop this relationship now, how do you think your parents would feel if they found out about this, you & your brother being together would be enough to put them in an early grave. not only that if you two had a child together it would probably be born with abnormalties as you & your brother share the same genes & that wouldn't be fair on a wee baby & then there would be the critism could you handle everyone pointing the finger at you. i think you should quit while you're ahead

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

Stop right now, you will both end up hurting each other. I know you wont want to hear this, but its illegal. You will cause so much pain to your family and friends, and you will never be able to reverse this. The best thing would be to get some distance between you, so you dont fall into the trap again. I really hope you will both be ok, and find someone that you can share a future with. Its hard when you love someone and all reason goes out of the window, but think of the damage this will all cause.

Please think of what i am saying, and eventually you can put this behind you,and if your lucky no one will have found out. Good luck to both of you

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (23 October 2006):

Ponungalungb agony auntYou need to find your own apartment.

You've crossed over a line that should have never been crossed. You and your brother both need counseling . . . and soon.

Good luck.

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A male reader, soulmasseur +, writes (23 October 2006):

This is not normal at all and is known as incest. Any incestuous relationship, especialy between a sister and a brother, faces social disapproval and condemnation (among "lay men")or is legally a crime in almost any community. It reflects deep, ingraved psychological complexes and an unresolved mental crisis shared by both partner that can be traced back to the past. As you say, you and your brother have been imagining to have a sexual relationship for a long time and I believe this certainly finds roots in your childhood and those early stages of the life. HOw was your relationship before this incidence? Can you think of any signal or invitation from the brother in the past that now you understand with sexual indication? Are you now engaged in any relationship with an outsider? If no, why?

You should sit down seriously and reconsider this situation.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

you should stop making up lame stories that no one cares about.

and if this is not a false story, i apologize, and advise you both to go to a psychatrist and get yourselves checked out. any siblings who sleep together obviously were brought up in a screwed up way, and both of you need help. its disgusting.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006):

Hi, this is a real hard question and answer beacuse we are all humans to love and sex means that if you both are sexually attrachted or else in love. First what is love for you, something that is in you and cannot describe exactly what it is is a good feeling towards some one else but you cannot expresit alone with out another person and this person has to be the write person for you, saying when to persons doing the same things they love to do together shareing there life between them. So I just tell you something, I have two sisters and never though of these things especially where are grown ups and have our families too. But matters even what kind of life you two have shared maybe you were very closed and loved each other as know one else that's real love Now we come for sex nature is perfect and for the reason of years past every thing came to be modificated for its own use and purpose if you are reaching me the only thing I am trying to say that nature does not know any thing about brothers and sisters since you came for sex there is the problem because if you seeds are mixed so you are endangering whats next maybe yes or maybe no ? If you two for example you go living where nobody knowx you you are just two figures or a couple. May be if some one see you armes round together the say look what a wounderfull and loving couple they are . So now I an coming for an answer for me loving each other is very nice for both but be carefull when having sex becuse it might be harmfull for the others now a days there are many biologiacal test one can do to find more about your semen ok. I know a couple that wheren't brothers or sisters and had a problem of marrying each other because they wheren't no brother's and sister's but for nature they were as and they didn't marry they didn't just said we love each other and don't worry but they did not and left apart. Hoe every thing you do, you just do it good and for your own means. Ciao

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