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*ostandalone agony aunt

*ostandalone

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*ostandalone's profile:

I am a 32 year old male from the US and I have alot of general life experiences. What qualifies me to help other people is the fact that I am an observer of life. I am an avid reader and majoring in mathmatics and psycology doesn't hurt. I am currently single(going through a bad break-up). I just enjoy helping people and I am very open-minded.

< Prev123456789101112Next > [12 pages, 438 answers]

I don't want to wait years for my friend to get over his ex, but if he'd ask me to be his girlfriend, that'd be fine!

Q.   Where to start? Been friends with this guy since the beginning of the year. We ended up kissing recently, but thankfully he put a stop to it because he was still confused over his feelings for his ex. We had a talk a few days later and I told him ...

A.   12 July 2006:  You should go out and date if not for yourself for him. He has to come to a conclusion about you. He can't stop you from having potential mates. If you show him that you are living fine without him and he has a social life without him he'll have ... (read in full...)

Ready to move from friends to More Than Friends, but I always have to make the first move with him!

Q.   I've known this guy for 5 years. A year ago we slept together and now it's really awkward between us. I think he likes me but he hasn't shown much interest since we had sex. If I contact him, he gets in touch but I always have to make the first mo...

A.   12 July 2006:  Well coming from a male's point of view. I would bet he is thinking "Why buy the cow and I'm already drinking the milk?" For a lot of guys (NOT ME) having sex is like putting money in the bank. Once they take it out the interest is gone. He ... (read in full...)

The boy I like said he wouldn't date me because I'm too shy!

Q.   I've loved this boy since January and he turned to me yesterday and said he didn't think if he got with me it would work out because I'm too shy. After he said that I broke down and i haven't stopped crying. I'm even taking it out on my family a...

A.   12 July 2006:  Why would you want to? I understand you say you love him but be true to yourself. Your shy. Its not like your an alcoholic or a drug addict or something like that. Shyness is normal and it takes wanting to change for yourself to do so. There ... (read in full...)

By BF wants children and I might be pregnant - I'm only 16!

Q.   I have been going out my boyfriend for 3 and a half months. I have had sex with him but he wants children and I might be pregnant. What can I do? My period should start again on the 27 of this month and I am only 16 years old....

A.   12 July 2006:  You are too young for this, even to consider it. Tell him thats not what you need nor want. How old is he? I am the father of a little girl and I am 29 and its hard trust me and I have a great career and it is still hard. Don't let anyone ... (read in full...)

I don't want to feel this way about my girlfriend's friend!

Q.   Basically ive been going out with my girlfriend for about 2 years. We've been going strong and we both made good starts to our lives after school. Whilst I'm working she is at college, and she has made some real nice friends, including 1 girl who I ...

A.   12 July 2006:  Maybe it is just a fantasy but leave it there. The grass is not always greener on the other side and everything that glitters aint gold. Why leave a woman that you care for deeply for a hunch or just lust. You don't know if the other woman ... (read in full...)

Haven't broken it off with the old boyfriend, but I *have* got a new boyfriend...

Q.   I'm having a hard time finishing it off completely off with my bf who I've been with for a year and a half. I told him that I needed space but I didn't completely just break it off. I have fallen for my old high school flame. We have always h...

A.   10 July 2006:  Be an adult and make a decision. This is unfair to both people involved and you will lose both if you don't make a decision and stick to it. Remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side and everyone has to live with the ... (read in full...)

Hes still good friends with his Ex and its making me feel wierd!

Q.   I'm 18 and i've been with my boyfriend who is 30 5 months and we are talking abvout moving in together later this year and going on holiday soon.We love each other and hes told me hes never been this happy but he has an ex girlfriend who he is still ...

A.   10 July 2006:  Explain your feelings. I mean he is being up front about it and he is still with you. I think you're having a touch of insecurity. Its normal seeing as how they were together for 8 years and thats a long time to be with someone. Just be honest ... (read in full...)

Should I give her space or keep trying?

Q.   Hello.Me and my girlfriend were in an amazing relationship, we were the couple that everyone thought that would always be together, we were strong as a rock. But she found out that she was moving,we made a plan that we wanted to try and make it ...

A.   10 July 2006:  Give her space. To answer your question you can't just up and stop loving someone just like that. Go on about your life like you normally would and let her sort out her own feelings without any involvement from you. Remember, your feelings are ... (read in full...)

I've fallen in love with my friend's (now) ex-boyfriend...

Q.   I have a female friend and I met her boyfriend. The boyfriend and I became very good friends (share secrets and tell each other everything). He is like a brother to me, but I recently realised that I am in love with him. He recently broke up with ...

A.   10 July 2006:  I say leave him be you have more to lose than to gain. Weigh the pros and cons of the whole thing. Keep your friends. Relationships come and go but that friendship if nurtured the RIGHT way it could last forever.... (read in full...)

My cheating ex - is she messing with me?

Q.   Is she Messing with me and just trying to get at me? I have been split from my ex about 3 or 4 months because she cheated and is now with the man she cheated with. I had agreed with her that for my birthday i was going to a place near her and if ...

A.   10 July 2006:  I don't feel my response is sugar coated just honest. You can never judge one person by one mistake, that is insane. NO one has the right to say this woman is this and that because we don't know. The process in which I describes gives this man ... (read in full...)

My cheating ex - is she messing with me?

Q.   Is she Messing with me and just trying to get at me? I have been split from my ex about 3 or 4 months because she cheated and is now with the man she cheated with. I had agreed with her that for my birthday i was going to a place near her and if ...

A.   9 July 2006:  Personally, I think she sees what a big mistake she made and is to ashamed and pride filled to ask for your forgiveness as she finds that you new found confidence and strength is very appealing. I would never tell you to cut her off or stop ... (read in full...)

Not over my ex, he's moved on, how do I?

Q.   Me and my bf have been apart from nearly 3 months now and i still miss him more than ever and i hate it, he's moved on and he tells me this all the time how doesnt love me or how he never did and it breaks my heart. I just wish i could move on i don...

A.   9 July 2006:  I agree with Pica. Don't spend time around him and the crowd. Make them and him wonder what you are doing and he will ask you himself what is going on. You don't need that kind of distraction when you are seeing someone else. As for the other ... (read in full...)

I need reassurance that my friend-with-benefits isn't getting any weird ideas about us!

Q.   Hey. I'm 22 and in a friends with benefits relationship with this guy I know. I'm fine with it, but some things he says kind of bother me. Like when we first hooked up, he said "you'd be a good wife" and I was shocked because I don't want to hear ...

A.   8 July 2006:  This is just my opinion and opinion only. I don't believe in a thing as casual sex or as you put it "friend with benefits". My GOD its sex. Anytime sex is involve you will have feelings from one party or the other. Its obvious the guy has ... (read in full...)

I am 11 years old and internet dating!

Q.   well i am 11 and i talk to this guy on msn, i have never felt the same way about any one ever before, we went out a couple times. And now we arent going out, i want him more than anything else in the world. And trust me, i want alot of things! See ...

A.   8 July 2006:  TOO young sweetie. Go get some candy, jacks and a jump rope and have fun.... (read in full...)

I have a problem with my friends

Q.   i have a real issue with all my friends. when me and my ex broke up, they told me that he cheated on me. i understand they were trying to be my friend by not telling me and for it to not hurt my feelings while we were together. after i confronted ...

A.   28 June 2006:  Some friends. You have to give them enough rope to hang themselves. Your ex could have been falsly accussed and hurt by the very people you call friends now. For my part I wouldn't hang out with them at all and tell them to go to hell when they ... (read in full...)

Distressed about my break up

Q.   I need some help please! Me and my girlfriend of a year recently split up - it was her decision - I still want to be with her. We still love each other but she didn't want to have to worry about being involved with anybody too much, which is why we ...

A.   28 June 2006:  I tried being friends with my ex and it worked for about 5 seconds. She would get calls and texts from other guys and it would drive me insane. Finally, I just had to cut off all contact and move on. She said she respected my choice and would ... (read in full...)

We broke up, and now she wont get back together because shes worried what her friends might say!

Q.   My g/f recently broke up with me about a month ago after a 2 year relationship, she still asks me 2 see her and when i do she cant keep her hands of me, we normally cuddle and kiss and end up having sex and then just laying together for hours, she ...

A.   28 June 2006:  Take Camille's advice. Don't meet up with her and don't call her. Tell her she has some decisions to make and if she can let her friends influence her in that manner to were her life is affected whoelse and whatelse can influence her. Let her ... (read in full...)

I just want revenge but more to make me laugh, why should she get off scott free!

Q.   My long term girlfriend/fiancee has recently dumped me and I am almost pass the loss/grief stage. She moved in very shortly with another guy I thought she might be seeing someone else. I want revenge now, nothing nasty, just something to mak...

A.   28 June 2006:  You don't need revenge you need closure. I won't tell you to get over it or move on. Thats the same crap people fed me but trust me she will get hers and you won't even have to be around to see it but you will know. It might make you laugh and ... (read in full...)

I've remarried, but still want to get back together with my ex-husband...

Q.   I have been recently chatting to my ex husband and we have spoken about meeting each other to possibly get back together. He cheated on me but I still love him and he has feelings for me. The only problem is that I'm married again with kids. I ...

A.   28 June 2006:  Well only a small minded person could even could read all that I said and only come up with that response. No, wouldn't scream at you thats not me and I'm alone because I choose to be. I'm lost because I'm still discovering things about myself ... (read in full...)

I've remarried, but still want to get back together with my ex-husband...

Q.   I have been recently chatting to my ex husband and we have spoken about meeting each other to possibly get back together. He cheated on me but I still love him and he has feelings for me. The only problem is that I'm married again with kids. I ...

A.   28 June 2006:  Well only a small minded person could even could read all that I said and only come up with that response. No, wouldn't scream at you thats not me and I'm alone because I choose to be. I'm lost because I'm still discovering things about myself ... (read in full...)

I've remarried, but still want to get back together with my ex-husband...

Q.   I have been recently chatting to my ex husband and we have spoken about meeting each other to possibly get back together. He cheated on me but I still love him and he has feelings for me. The only problem is that I'm married again with kids. I ...

A.   27 June 2006:  I was reading the responses to this question and 1 anon asked "Gee what is wrong with us women?" Well, for one you think people can't change. Does this mean that you haven't changed over years time? I think that is a stupid statement and should ... (read in full...)

Torn between two men...decisions, decisions!

Q.   hey, i got a big dilemma, so here goes. well a couple of months ago i fell in love for the first time with a guy, lets call him john. ive been going out with john since then. it was good at first, but we have been arguing alot, about silly things, ...

A.   23 June 2006:  I'm not understanding. You said you fell in love for the first time a couple of months ago with John and now you are saying that you loved mark for the past three years. Hell, who do you love? I know you have to be confused because I am. ... (read in full...)

Should I leave my "mommy's boy" boyfriend for my ex?

Q.   I went out with a guy I've known all my life. He has his head on straight, knows what he wants out of life, Has 2 jobs, going to a University with honnors, has plans for the future. Our relationship lasted for about 3 years. But I came to realize he ...

A.   23 June 2006:  I truly hate that statement,"an ex is an ex for a reason". But the same people will tell you "if you love someone let them go and if they come back then their yours forever". Blah, Blah, Blah. Fact of the matter you love your current boyfriend ... (read in full...)

Fiancee is interested in another person...

Q.   My fiancee of 7 1/2 years dropped a bomb shell on me 3 months ago and told me she loved me but was not in love with me. I had just asked her whether she still wanted to marry me. At first she said yes then suddenly the tears came, and the love you ...

A.   23 June 2006:  As hard as it may be you have to accept the fact that she has moved on. Granted she just told you in her heart I think she had already moved on and just didn't know how to tell you. In this very rare occasion I don't agree with Pete on one ... (read in full...)

I am married but I fancy a man at my gym!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been married for 9 months now to myhusband who I genuinely thought I love. We have been together for 3 years in total. Since we have been together I have always used a local gym and have fancied a guy that attends the gym for ...

A.   19 June 2006:  I think you're throwing away love for lust. Is it really worth it? Obviously to you it is. Imagine having someone to hold and kiss when you feel your worst and to love you when you toothless and those certain parts don't work as well as they ... (read in full...)

how to get over an ex?

Q.   whats the best way to get over your x girl friend...

A.   19 June 2006:  I couldn't have typed it any better. Great Advice. Go out and do things that make you happy and try, as hard as it may seem, to put this in the past and move on. Me personally I hate that phrase "MOVE ON". It should be live on because you can ... (read in full...)

Is she cheating on me?

Q.   Hi there, My Girlfriend and I have been going out for a year and just over 3 months now. We unfortunetly though live in different provinces during the summer months (from the end of April till September). This summer she is living with a coup...

A.   17 June 2006:  I don't know what to think about that but I would definitely feel insecure about it too. I would just pop up one day. Just a suprise visit. Why not? If you see something you don't like confront it, if not just enjoy your time with your ... (read in full...)

My ex has moved on but i haven't

Q.   Hi people, just want to thank you for your advice, I posted a question back in early march about my bf breaking up with me in january and that i had planned to propose in las vegas when he went to visit the star trek experience. Unfortunately we ...

A.   17 June 2006:  Man I'm right there with you. Going thru the exact same thing with my ex as we speak. Her familiy is supportive of me and love me. We still go out and have fun together and she has said that she hasn't ruled out getting back with me but she ... (read in full...)

I'm cheating

Q.   i have been going out with this girl for about over two years, things are great between us for the most part except for the sex. she is very conservative and timid when it comes to sex. she never initiates it and seems to have no sex drive ...

A.   17 June 2006:  I have been there. I suggest you leave the relationship and do your fooling around. That way if you ever choose to get back with your girlfriend you can always say that you weren't together when you did your fooling around. This may also stem ... (read in full...)

Promised God that I wouldn't have sex again, but I can't empty my mind of thoughts about it!

Q.   Recently I made a pledge with God to not have sex again because I had sex with my ex-boyfriend which was a really awful mistake because I wasn't able to deal with the emotional consequences of losing my virginity to someone who really wasn't a good ...

A.   16 June 2006:  Stick to your guns. Temptation is all around us. Like Pete said don't think about the promise think about the consequence. Besides, you can make love to someone without even touching. The thing is society has made sex such a casual thing that ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cheated with my friend and she became pregnant....I can't seem to trust anyone!!!

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. i have only just recently found out that he is the father of one of my best friends 3 month old baby. I was told of this by my friend over a text message. They were seeing eachother for a ...

A.   16 June 2006:  The comment was geared toward the female anon who answered. Sorry sensitive subject with me.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cheated with my friend and she became pregnant....I can't seem to trust anyone!!!

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. i have only just recently found out that he is the father of one of my best friends 3 month old baby. I was told of this by my friend over a text message. They were seeing eachother for a ...

A.   16 June 2006: Anon. You have valid points but who are you to judge what this man is and what his intentions are. I don't know your status as far as relationship and troubles within but you sound as if you were cheated on and hurt. Mistakes are mistakes just ... (read in full...)

Me and my ex boyfriend's best mate have decided to become f***-buddies... How might my ex react?

Q.   I have recently split up with my boyfriend for the 4th time in the last 7 months. this time it is well and truly over cos ive realised i am woth more than that! Last sat night i went to a mutual friends house because he needed someone to talk ...

A.   15 June 2006:  No he shouldnt be mad but you two obviously aren't finished with eachother if you stay in eachother's personal business seeing who can hurt who the most and the fastest. this whole thing is childish and you both need to grow the hell up and ... (read in full...)

I know he's not going to be with her forever, so what about me?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am in a bit of a messy situation and need advice. I have posted this before, but wanted to get other people's opinions. I met a guy over a year ago that has a girlfriend and a young child. We started to get to know each other, and ...

A.   15 June 2006:  I am glad that I could help. Good Luck.... (read in full...)

I want my ex back, but I need advice on how to go about dong this...

Q.   Since splitting with my girlfriend 4 months ago I have posted on here often and have had some great help and advice. We are going away with my parents to the most romantic part of Italy on Tuesday 20th June which was planned before we split. Since ...

A.   15 June 2006:  Man thats a tough one. Make her remember why she fell in love with you in the first place. Let her know that you haven't changed and neither has your love. Do the things that you know she likes and some new things that you think she would like. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cheated with my friend and she became pregnant....I can't seem to trust anyone!!!

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. i have only just recently found out that he is the father of one of my best friends 3 month old baby. I was told of this by my friend over a text message. They were seeing eachother for a ...

A.   15 June 2006:  communication. You have done something that not many people are willing to do. You have accepted your bf's mistake as what it was A MISTAKE (not the baby but the act). In order to move on you have to put the past behind you. Start again. ... (read in full...)

Why is everything so awkward between us all of a sudden?

Q.   I have been talking to this girl for about 5 months now, and at first everything was great, I liked her, she liked me, but he everything became very awkward all of a sudden. I am still completely in love with her and i finally asked her how she ...

A.   14 June 2006:  I don't want to jump to conclusions but what the hell!!! I think there is more than likely another horse in your stable. All the things that she enjoyed that you shared, if she's not sharing it with you she's sharing it with someone. I mean she ... (read in full...)

I'm 10 years old - is my boyfriend using me?

Q.   Hi I am 10 and I think my boyfreind is using me. How do I find out?...

A.   14 June 2006:  Sweetheart, Why are you 10 with a boyfriend first of all? Thats way way way to young to even think of such a thing but I won't lecture you I will answer your question fairly. You know when someone is using you when you are the one doing all the ... (read in full...)

I really don't understand myself!

Q.   Hi I am 26 year old guy, I am madly in love with a girl, but we just broke up recently, for now I am trying to be in a normal mental frame treating everything as normal as if nothing happened, I do that when I meet her too, I am responsible for ...

A.   14 June 2006:  Martini that is harsh and Ariel I am suprised at you!!!! This man obviously needs help not ridicule. Find a counselor in your home town and vent. I agree with Pete on this issue. That reason for leaving is ridiculous and if that is true... (read in full...)

I know he's not going to be with her forever, so what about me?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am in a bit of a messy situation and need advice. I have posted this before, but wanted to get other people's opinions. I met a guy over a year ago that has a girlfriend and a young child. We started to get to know each other, and ...

A.   14 June 2006:  This is a very difficult situation and you have good answers posted here but take one from a man who WAS THAT MAN of which you speak. I myself left the woman I love to be with the mother of my child knowing full well that I did not love her. We ... (read in full...)

I can't desert my children to keep my girlfriend happy

Q.   Hello, I am in need of your advice in trying to address a problem I have. I live in England, I am a 45 year old man, divorced for 4 years, with 2 children: a boy of 7 and a girl of 13. I live on my own, and see my children every other weekend,...

A.   14 June 2006:  I think by bailing out you are doing the right thing. First of all, if she loves you she has to love and except every part of you and that means your children. If she cared she wouldn't make you choose between her and your children. I mean be ... (read in full...)

Me and my ex boyfriend's best mate have decided to become f***-buddies... How might my ex react?

Q.   I have recently split up with my boyfriend for the 4th time in the last 7 months. this time it is well and truly over cos ive realised i am woth more than that! Last sat night i went to a mutual friends house because he needed someone to talk ...

A.   5 June 2006:  I think he does have a reason to be mad, I know I would. Thats his friend and for the most part the way me and my friends do it, you are off limits. There is no way this will sit well with your ex. Out of all the women in the world he would ... (read in full...)

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