Can a man change his mind about being in a relationship over time?
Q. Is is possible when a guy says that he doesn't want a relationship to change his mind through time?? I have met a guy recently who has said that he is not ready for a relationship but last time we met - we talked lots and he did say that I spoke al...
A. 23 September 2009: Hey - some never figure it out.
;-)... (read in full...)
Can a man change his mind about being in a relationship over time?
Q. Is is possible when a guy says that he doesn't want a relationship to change his mind through time?? I have met a guy recently who has said that he is not ready for a relationship but last time we met - we talked lots and he did say that I spoke al...
A. 23 September 2009: GREAT! Good luck and enjoy!
Now, while you are finding success, keep it up! Keep the words everyone has written in your mind and do NOT go back to your old ways... (I say this because often people change a behaviour, find success and then go ... (read in full...)
He wants to change my status of virgin to non-virgin
Q. I am 13 and there is is boy that i really like. we've been going out for about 3weeks and 1night we were talking on the phone and he said,"are you a virgin?" so i said "yes" and then he said "do you want me to change that?" i didnt say anything back ...
A. 23 September 2009: WAY to GO!
And if you are struggling with finding the words, staying strong or are sad due to an unpleasant outcome, come back and we'll talk more...
Stay Strong! Hugs!... (read in full...)
I try to be nice to my ex because we have a child together but I hate the things he does!
Q. This isnt exactly a love question,but it does have to do with my ex boyfriend.We have a 5 year old daughter together and i broke up with him about 4 years ago.I really cant stand him,when i started dating him i was only 18 and still not the ...
A. 22 September 2009: How creepy. I feel for you.
I agree not to use access to your daughter as a tool to solve this problem. It could be detrimental to your relationship with her. She would resent you for denying her access to her father.
I think you should... (read in full...)
Will reverse psychology work to get him back?
Q. Still trying to get the ex back. We got into an argument because i think i rushed into things to quickly and this is what he sent me on a tex message. " I'm not lookig for a relationship and you are, so I think it would be better if we just didn'...
A. 22 September 2009: I apologize if you were hurt by the message in my post. Perhaps I could have used more tact. I recognize that it is not always “what you say” but “how you say it”.
I never expect EVERYONE to like my advice. I suppose, while it can be highly b... (read in full...)
Help! I've been cheated on and I'm being bullied...
Q. well basicly my life has been shite since i started highschool (no shocker)well this last month has been the best, me and my boyfriend just had sex and now ive found out he has been cheating on me since we started dating, and im so confused ...
A. 21 September 2009: WOW! Sounds very abusive and I am sorry that you've had to endure it.
I'm not sure why people or which people are taking "the piss out of you for it", but have you considered ending the relationship?
If the girl who punched you wants him an... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend has a drink problem?
Q. Do you think my bf has a drinking problem? I am quite worried about him for his own health, as well as our relationship because his drinking habits is placing alot of stress on it. We have been in a relationship for 5 months, and I...
A. 21 September 2009: I am also inclined to advise you to walk away. In order to help him, he needs to want to be helped.
Tryng to fix this relationship will end up in further heart-break and disappointment. And it will all be yours....
I think you deserve a he... (read in full...)
Not cheating but the handwriting is on the wall?
Q. I need clarity, My b/f says he is not cheating but is the writing on the wall? Please PLEASE help!???!!? OK I have posted before but I can't seem to find clarity. My b/f who I have been with for 3 months and I have known him for 2 years. He moved in...
A. 21 September 2009: ...Are you connecting the dots from your own post?
While neither is definitive proof of cheating, it is proof of lying and association with careless people in your home and drug users in your car; in very close proximity to your daughter. Are red... (read in full...)
Why is she not taking my calls?
Q. There is this girl that i love, I Knew her for about 1 year but we are not very close or intimate because she lives in the boarden school, but when she completed her secondary education i started communication with her through phone only, this is ...
A. 21 September 2009: What exactly is a friend who is intimate? Did you say you wanted to be her boyfriend or just that you wanted to be in a sexual relationship?
Either way, when you discussed this with her and didn't conclude anything, that was your first clue. I... (read in full...)
Surely I deserve an apology???
Q. Ok, so I found suggestive texts between him and her, flirting, goading, and daring one another, sexually explicit inuendoes that really hurt my feelings. Previously asked him to stop her sending innapropriate 'rude' jokes to him, but he chose to...
A. 21 September 2009: I disagree with the sentiment that you have a right to snoop. Actually, no you don't. It is a grotesque behaviour which is NOT socially acceptable, despite how common it may be.
I'm not sure you do have a right to expect an apology. As someone ... (read in full...)
Will reverse psychology work to get him back?
Q. Still trying to get the ex back. We got into an argument because i think i rushed into things to quickly and this is what he sent me on a tex message. " I'm not lookig for a relationship and you are, so I think it would be better if we just didn'...
A. 21 September 2009: NOT what you want to hear, so brace yourself.
TRICKING someone to be yours is one of the lowest things you can try to do. It suggests you have no self respect. It displays no class. It shows you care nothing for his happiness and do not resp... (read in full...)
Why can't you be in love at 17?
Q. I dont get why people on here say you cant be in love at 17 or you cant love two people, not trying to seem too blunt about it, but seriously i just dont get why at 16 or 17 "you cant possibly be in love" ???? or if you have feeling for 2 people ...
A. 21 September 2009: This is a good question. Thank you for asking about it.
As far as answering why people say you can’t be in love with two people at once, I can’t. I don’t think I have ever said that. All I do say on that matter is that based upon my experien... (read in full...)
I'm having my brother's baby and I'm worried
Q. I need serious help! Im pregnat and its my brothers. Im 2 months along and Im affraid of the outcome might be. This is my first pregnancy. We're both very young. I want to keep it because Im against abortions but at the same time I don't want to ...
A. 21 September 2009: I would never recommend or urge someone to have an abortion.
I will urge you to speak to your doctor before abortion is not longer an issue and discuss what dangers there are in terms of health issues for this child.
You have more important c... (read in full...)
Does he still want/like me?
Q. I'm a teen who's been dating this guy almost a month, I've liked him almost a year before we started dating and he said he liked me too but didn't think I liked him... he's my neighbor and at first we spent a lot of time together mostly playing ...
A. 21 September 2009: Nobody here will know if he is avoiding you or not. In fact, it is only possible for him to know, or anyone who he shares that information with.
What I can tell you is that you should keep the following in mind:
1) After liking you for a... (read in full...)
What can I do about my vaginal rash? It's been almost two months and won't budge.
Q. I went overseas in July of this year and ever since then I have had this consistently annoying rash around the entrance to my vagina. That's almost two months now! It started when I got my period a few days after arriving back home and it was ...
A. 21 September 2009: Good luck!
And be persistent. If this doctor doesn't help, don't be afraid to see another one!... (read in full...)
Can a man change his mind about being in a relationship over time?
Q. Is is possible when a guy says that he doesn't want a relationship to change his mind through time?? I have met a guy recently who has said that he is not ready for a relationship but last time we met - we talked lots and he did say that I spoke al...
A. 18 September 2009: If you do anything, have it be a card or an e-card. Make it a funny one, not a cheesey mushy one.
I would prefer not to acknowledge it until he contacts you again. Then say "Oh, you had a birthday, didn't you? Next time we're together, I will b... (read in full...)
What can I do about my vaginal rash? It's been almost two months and won't budge.
Q. I went overseas in July of this year and ever since then I have had this consistently annoying rash around the entrance to my vagina. That's almost two months now! It started when I got my period a few days after arriving back home and it was ...
A. 18 September 2009: I'd definitely see your doctor again. Ask for a referral if need be.
If a doctor has seen it, and didn't think it was an STD, I would presume she's a better authority on it that we are, but don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion.
Have yo... (read in full...)
Can we have sex without him knowing I'm a virgin? Will it hurt?
Q. Hi. My BF who I love dearly is experienced (he`s had three other partners, one of which was a virgin) and I`m a virgin. Well... a virgin as far as never had a MAN penetrate me. I`ve participated in oral sex before and I also masturbate often. I lied ...
A. 18 September 2009: Wait a second here... how OLD are you? You SHOULD be a virgin!
Sex will hurt and you may have some bleeding. My first time hurt a lot and I asked the person to stop. I bled. Then I did it a second time much later on and with someone ... (read in full...)
He wants to change my status of virgin to non-virgin
Q. I am 13 and there is is boy that i really like. we've been going out for about 3weeks and 1night we were talking on the phone and he said,"are you a virgin?" so i said "yes" and then he said "do you want me to change that?" i didnt say anything back ...
A. 18 September 2009: Firstly, you should be proud of yourself for looking for advice. I think you should stay true to yourself. You do not wish to have sex (good for you!) so don't.
You've only dated this boy for 3 weeks and frankly, if he's the type of boy who woul... (read in full...)
Are 2 fingers enough to break a hymen?
Q. Hi all. i'm very confused about something. Last night i slept next to a guy i recently met and i let him finger me however i didnt bleed. I hav never had sex before. Am i still a virgin? are two fingers enough to break the hyman? ...
A. 18 September 2009: Horseback riding can break a hymen.
You are still a virgin until you have sexual intercourse. The bleeding is not like a period. It's pretty minor, so even when you break your virginity, don't expect a big flow.... (read in full...)
Can we salvage what's left of our friendship?
Q. My friend and I have been drifting apart since last year. It started with her leaving me for a new group of friends, accusing me of being jealous of her having new friends, but in the end she would apologize. Even though she did, she still acted ...
A. 18 September 2009: She won't ever apologize if she thinks you will do it for her. But if you choose not to apologize, you have to realize that she isn't "big" enough to do it either.
I suggest you ask yourself WHY you want to be friends with her.
Maybe you wil... (read in full...)
Follow-up: Do you think she's really into me??
Q. Hey! Just after a second opinion please following this... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-she-didnt-say-im-meeting-my-boyfriend.html http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 18 September 2009: Actually, her behaviour is common for a teenage girl. Her relationship with her ex was probably at an end and maybe meeting you, a guy she had so much in common with and her age, etc., gave her the push she needed.
Think of it as a light bu... (read in full...)
Can he ask for custody to our baby?
Q. ive been dating a turkish guy for a year and got pregnant. My boyfriend didnt want to marry me but we still keep the baby, ill born my baby in turkey. I still have a contact with my bf. My question is: can he ask custody to our baby and what is my ...
A. 18 September 2009: The baby's citizenship with be Turkish. I don't know the citizenship or family court laws in Turkey, or if there can be dual citizenship, although that is unlikely.
I would have the baby born in your home country. I mean it. Seriousl... (read in full...)
How should I phrase this letter?
Q. Nearly 2 years ago my relationship with my parents rapidly deteriorated because they would get drunk and out of control, and then constantly abuse and threaten me and my fiancée. I was thrown out of my home by my mother, who is an alcoholi...
A. 18 September 2009: I would think that Emilyanswers has a great idea when she suggests first attempting to contact them by FaceBook or Twitter, etc.
It would be most beneficial to them, as your mother’s likely targets, to be able to contact you in return. They wil... (read in full...)
He knows I don't like him talking to his ex but he does it anyways!
Q. i just need some advice. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and were both young. hes a senior and im in college. his ex girlfriend has been spreading nonsense about him around his school making it hard for him to make any friends....
A. 17 September 2009: Stop bugging him about the contact. You set it up.
She spread nonsense about him in school because she still liked him, was angry and hurt. He doesn't have any other friends. Why he would agree to be her friend, I don't know, but it appears ... (read in full...)
Should I stay for the sake of our child and lose my sanity or go?
Q. I'm married to an older man who I don't love, and probably never have. He kept throwing perks in my face and I took the bait. Now eight years later and a three year old I find myself depressed and wanting out. I sometimes feel like I'de rather be ...
A. 17 September 2009: I won't tell you to "do this" or "do that". Your decision has to be yours alone, but you could GO for the sake of the child.
Children should be taught about how to pursue happiness. They can learn that their parents love them and that when par... (read in full...)
How often does a guy contact you when getting to know you?
Q. I guess a general question on when you start seeing someone.... How often do folk think that a guy should be contacting a girl when they are not really dating yet -just seeing each other when they can whilst they get to know each other a bit more...
A. 17 September 2009: I am all for the wine! ;-)
Don't be too hard on yourself. We ALL feel like that sometimes.... (read in full...)
I suspect my wife of cheating. What should I do?
Q. Hi, this is my situation. I met my wife 10 years ago, we have 2 boys. However during all those years i seen a very unusual friendship with her sister's husband. She makes comments like "I LOVE MY IN-LAW AS THOUGH HE WAS MY BROTHER" or in reunions ...
A. 17 September 2009: I'm not going to argue with you.
It is horrible if that is happening. You can't possibly know that.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
How often does a guy contact you when getting to know you?
Q. I guess a general question on when you start seeing someone.... How often do folk think that a guy should be contacting a girl when they are not really dating yet -just seeing each other when they can whilst they get to know each other a bit more...
A. 17 September 2009: Sorry - I also meant to add that the circumstances of work and his parents making it difficult to not always be in contact everyday, is also normal and to be expected.... (read in full...)
How often does a guy contact you when getting to know you?
Q. I guess a general question on when you start seeing someone.... How often do folk think that a guy should be contacting a girl when they are not really dating yet -just seeing each other when they can whilst they get to know each other a bit more...
A. 17 September 2009: This sounds normal. Every man has his own style and they set their own precedent.
I think two (on average) texts a day is a pretty good sign this man is interested in you, considering that it is early stages and he has a busy job and two unwell p... (read in full...)
I worship her like God but she's married!
Q. I am in love with a married woman. She is one of our teaching staff in our college. I don't know when it started but now I can feel that. At First I was thinking that its just an infatuation,and will go out of mind after some time. But it didn't. I ...
A. 17 September 2009: If you've never spoken to her indepth, you can not know what makes her tick. All you have are your impressions and THAT is what you are in love with.
I suggest you concentrate less on how to be in her life and more on how to stop obsessin... (read in full...)
Can a man change his mind about being in a relationship over time?
Q. Is is possible when a guy says that he doesn't want a relationship to change his mind through time?? I have met a guy recently who has said that he is not ready for a relationship but last time we met - we talked lots and he did say that I spoke al...
A. 17 September 2009: It is possible, but unlikely. You may have paved the way for another girl, though.
You get involved here at your own risk. Do not even allow your mind to travel into the "maybe-things-will-change" zone. VERY DANGEROUS. Soon you will be expec... (read in full...)
I suspect my wife of cheating. What should I do?
Q. Hi, this is my situation. I met my wife 10 years ago, we have 2 boys. However during all those years i seen a very unusual friendship with her sister's husband. She makes comments like "I LOVE MY IN-LAW AS THOUGH HE WAS MY BROTHER" or in reunions ...
A. 17 September 2009: WOW! I'm glad you are not my husband.
Based on your suspicions surrounding an hour, and getting on well with her brother-in-law, you are going to install security cameras?! :S
When I said maybe he "made a move", I meant that maybe he tried to ... (read in full...)
My mom gave my boyfriend my underwear!
Q. I have been struggling with this for a few weeks now, since I started college. To start... let me just say that I have an overbearing, overprotective helicopter mother. One of my guy friends call her "mama Sikorsky". Two weeks before I left fo...
A. 17 September 2009: I would certainly DISCUSS it with both of them, but see no need for a confrontation.
It looks as though she was trying to be helpful, although I agree it's pretty weird.
You admitted to embracing the t-shirt and enjoying it. The gesture coul... (read in full...)
He asked for a break, slept with someone else and now is on a year sabbatical..where does that leave us?
Q. HELP HELP HELP I have been with my fiance for 7.5years and have had fantastic times with him. We have beenn all over thw world and had amazing times. The only problem is I can only ever spend the night on a saturday night. He is not married,...
A. 17 September 2009: I am inclined to think you will do whatever you want and it won’t matter what people tell you. I have a feeling you are looking for someone to encourage your decision to wait it out and give him space.
But here is a reality check, and I am sorry... (read in full...)
How do I talk to him with my mom there?
Q. Hey everyone. I have a question on how to know if a guy likes you? So I am twenty years old and I just joined a gym with my mother. At the gym there is this trainer who happens to be twenty two. Everytime I see him we deffinitly flirt. Through ...
A. 17 September 2009: 1) You've only seen him twice and so you may be reading more into this than there is. Some people flirt with their clients (depending on their jobs) to help inspire repeat business.
There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you keep a cool h... (read in full...)
How do you get over your affair partner?
Q. I am married and had an affair a few years ago. Its not something I am proud of, my head just got turned when I was in a low place. I have not met him for four years but have been in touch via email. The thing is whilst I know I can never be wit...
A. 17 September 2009: Umm... stop invading his personal privacy and reading his emails. Besides being a GROSS VIOLATION and sign of obsession (and after four years, somewhat creepy) such behaviours impede your ability to move on.
You don't actually want him anyway. ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to stop taking his calls so he can decide if he wants this relationship? Or will ignoring him just drive him away?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up after a 3 years relationship. I was devastated. We didnt speak for about a month and then he starts calling and sending me text messages to say lets meet up and talk. I relented after a week and met up with him. He said ...
A. 17 September 2009: This is the best idea. This is exactly what you should do.
You have a life and you do need to move on with it. After all, what would you feel like if you continued to be patient and he came back and said, "We are suited to each other". ... (read in full...)
I suspect my wife of cheating. What should I do?
Q. Hi, this is my situation. I met my wife 10 years ago, we have 2 boys. However during all those years i seen a very unusual friendship with her sister's husband. She makes comments like "I LOVE MY IN-LAW AS THOUGH HE WAS MY BROTHER" or in reunions ...
A. 17 September 2009: This is a hard question to answer for a number of reasons.
1) We don't know if she DID cheat. While we can sympathize with your feelings and some of us may even feel suspicious if we were in your shoes, suspicions are not definitive proof of... (read in full...)
A question for the ladies about contraceptives...
Q. As a matter of interest,how many of you girls use spermicidal contraceptive inserts on their own? Is it because condoms prevent the closest intimate contact? I Know that they are no good for preventing STDs....
A. 17 September 2009: Is this a survey or are you asking because using spermicidal contraception only, is something you are considering?
I use condoms, whether I am on the pill or not, whenever dating a man in the beginning stages of our relationship to protect ... (read in full...)
Am I shallow for not wanting to date her again?
Q. Hey all, well Im a little bit ashamed of myself writing this. I think I may be a shallow guy and i never thought it before. My sister set me up on a blind date. I was dubious anyway but went along. When the Lady showed up I knew straight away th...
A. 17 September 2009: These agony aunts are all correct. I would also add that (presuming you were not rude when you told her you did not wish to see her again) you get "Kudos" for being honest with her and not stringing her along.
There are plenty of people that man... (read in full...)
I know they messed around, but my wife won't admit it. How can I deal with how angry this makes me?
Q. Im currently deployed to Iraq, I got married to my wife before I left and we found out she was pregnant. She is completely faithful and the best woman I've ever met in my life, I love her beyond words, and she will be my wife until the day I die. ...
A. 17 September 2009: Great perspective, deliawood.
The "pig" you share the desert with at the moment is nothing to her. He doesn't merit a thought or recollection. Why would he when she has you now? Be happy she does not even want to visit him in her mind.
... (read in full...)
What can I do to ignore their taunts and stop them from aggravating me?
Q. I have been working at my job sincee 1999. A lot of guys that worked there had tried to talk to me, but I was never interested. Many of them seem to be up to no good. I have always tried to carry myself in a respectable manner and treat people like ...
A. 17 September 2009: I agree with eyeswideopen. I always advise against workplace romances... When they don't work out, the work place becomes awkward, even if one of them isn't an immature person.
However, let's deal with the here and now.
This is not a healthy... (read in full...)
Is this relationship a lost cause?
Q. How far does the rabbit hole go? I don't want to give up but I don't think I could handle finding out a past situation got any worse. Read on to understand the whole situation. The following ended up being very long! But it is only in an attem...
A. 17 September 2009: Those points don't change my advice.... in case that's why you typed it.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Is this relationship a lost cause?
Q. How far does the rabbit hole go? I don't want to give up but I don't think I could handle finding out a past situation got any worse. Read on to understand the whole situation. The following ended up being very long! But it is only in an attem...
A. 16 September 2009: The rabbit hole goes deeper. When someone gives you the truth in small doses and it gets worse every time, it's usually because they are lying. There is something going on there. She appears quite willing to play you two against each other. I w... (read in full...)
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