I don't think he's ever going to comit to me properly and fully
Q. Im not sure where we are going anymore.I have been with my partner for 18 months now,though i have known him for over 4 years(we were friends for a long time) Our relationship has always been a long distance one,he is currently in kabul i see him ...
A. 16 September 2011: Excellent!... (read in full...)
Facebook relationship status. Distant boyfriend. Post break-up issues.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. He used to be the sweetest guy and as soon as we god together he changed his relationship status on Facebook to In a Relationship, he would always come to see me, he would write sweet messages ...
A. 9 September 2011: I agree with Ciar - and would add that if you ended it the first time, your gut was being honest with you. Give yourself some credit and follow your gut!
Remind yourself about how crummy it felt to be in this relationship the second time around a... (read in full...)
Facebook relationship status. Distant boyfriend. Post break-up issues.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. He used to be the sweetest guy and as soon as we god together he changed his relationship status on Facebook to In a Relationship, he would always come to see me, he would write sweet messages ...
A. 8 September 2011: You have been given some good advice. All I am doing is adding my agreement here:
I think I recently said in another post that committing to someone is not just what we say to each other, but what we communicate to the world.
You are react... (read in full...)
I have to work with my ex and I think he might still like me
Q. I need advice on how to deal with an ex who I work with at weekends.I thought when he ended things with me that would be the end of us as a couple but he keeps confusing me by his actions while at work. So basically this is bit of history on us. I...
A. 8 September 2011: It's possible he still has feelings for you, but I would not act on them, if I were you. He hurt you at the end of the relationship, so he should work to get you back, and make his feelings clear... if that is in fact, what he is hoping to do and ... (read in full...)
I love my cousin but he doesn't love me
Q. I went to my grandpa's funeral today and I saw my cousin who I've been in love with for 3 years. He and I got moments alone and finally, I asked him how he felt about me after a failed relationship 3 years ago. I told him how I felt and ended up ...
A. 8 September 2011: Why do we allow our emotions to complicate things? Telling someone we are not interested in them, when they are obviously interested in us, can be difficult. No one likes to hurt others. So when someone tells you they are not interested or are ... (read in full...)
Why did he tell me he liked the head massages I give him and then go get one elsewhere?
Q. Hi, I would like you aunts opinion on this please,and if i'm being silly and just over reacting. I have been in a relationship for over 7yrs with the same man, he always tells me how good he feels when he is with me,and how relaxed he is when i g...
A. 8 September 2011: "Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If ... (read in full...)
I love her but she said there is nothing on her side, what should I do now? Is she just being shy and she actually does like me?
Q. hi friends and i am a student of 12th class well the problem is that i like a girl in my class since 6-7 months and most probably now started loving her so firstly she used to talk to me very frankly but from last 3-4 months she doesnt talk t...
A. 8 September 2011: I agree with the previous advice and would only add that too much attention (from you or your friends) is likely making her feel very uncomfortable.
You do not love her - you barely know her - but if you THINK you love her, show her by respecti... (read in full...)
How can I make my ex want me more than just friends?
Q. So I have recently moved in with my ex which we also have a child together. We havnt been together in 3 years yet remained friends. The living situation was "friends only" and for financial reasons. Recently he started flirting with me more and we ...
A. 8 September 2011: There is no magic formula to make a guy fall in love with you. I think he cares for you and enjoys the availabilty of occassional-no-strings-attached sex.
If you were really caring for yourself and your child, you would move out and move on becau... (read in full...)
My ex is demanding money that he gave me as a gift
Q. my ex and i broke up almost a year ago, however since that time we have remained 'friends' (i say that loosely as its been a very turbulant time, sometimes we've got on and acted like a couple still, other times we argue constantly) he made my life ...
A. 8 September 2011: Your ex is responding with jealousy. I would pay the 100pounds and enjoy the freedom from him it offered. Be prepared that he may not accept the money, but I would wordlessly send it to him anyway.
Good luck and enjoy your new relation... (read in full...)
My bad attitude is pushing him away! How do I change this?
Q. I really upset my boyfriend, i always keep him awake at night, because i find it hard to sleep, so i keep nudging him to wake up and it really pisses him off, i also have this childish attitude when im upset, and i talk a lot, and ask him a lot of ...
A. 8 September 2011: You sound insecure. Why do you think that is? What can you do (without his assistance) to build up your self-esteem so you don't need the constant reassurances?
Do you have a fulfilling job and/or good friends that enjoy spending time with you... (read in full...)
Love and sex are 2 different things so is it ok to sleep with my cousin when I have a boyfriend?
Q. Hi, I am a girl and I slept couple of times with my cousin. We're not in love with eachother (at least I'm not, and he said he isn't either) but sometimes we still share a bed. Is that wrong? I recently got a boyfriend, but I have my doubts about ...
A. 8 September 2011: Well said, Danielepew!... (read in full...)
How to deal with the unfairness of life?
Q. Growing up I was poor and my 2 best friends were from rich families. It was hard for me, but I realized it was not my fault and it was not their accomplishment. Now, we have all finished the same university, have the same degree and have our first ...
A. 8 September 2011: They say that money doesn't buy happiness, but it’s better to be miserable in a mansion than a cardboard box... Money, or the lack of it, can certainly be frustrating.
The good news is that you are still young and have lots of time to define y... (read in full...)
I don't think he's ever going to comit to me properly and fully
Q. Im not sure where we are going anymore.I have been with my partner for 18 months now,though i have known him for over 4 years(we were friends for a long time) Our relationship has always been a long distance one,he is currently in kabul i see him ...
A. 8 September 2011: You are welcome, mrsboosh. :-)
If you two are truly soulmates, then maybe time is all that is needed. If he is married still (or a divorce is not yet finalized), and you've been seeing each other only 18 months, it might be he is happy to have ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep ignoring me? How do I fix this? Is it my fault?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently got into an argument because I got mad that this girl kept flirting with him. He didn't go along with it but he didn't make her stop either. She used to call him petnames, until I begged him to make her stop. She knows ...
A. 7 September 2011: Commitment is not just what we say to each other, but also what we communicate to others. This long-distance girl is probably not a threat to you, but I can understand your feelings that pet-names from anyone other than you are inappropriate. I ... (read in full...)
Anyone else in a relationship with an eccentric personality like this?
Q. My boyfriend of nearly one year has an unusual personality. He's eccentric, strong, brilliant, has some OCD/control behaviors, lacks some social graces. I wonder if he might have a little Aspergers (and yes, I'm educated enough to make that ...
A. 7 September 2011: Crossing your arms in front of you and not being able to repeat (for a month) that he loves you (it sounds like your distraction made it difficult/impossible for you to give the reaction he was looking for, which is not your fault, or anyone's) are ... (read in full...)
Love and sex are 2 different things so is it ok to sleep with my cousin when I have a boyfriend?
Q. Hi, I am a girl and I slept couple of times with my cousin. We're not in love with eachother (at least I'm not, and he said he isn't either) but sometimes we still share a bed. Is that wrong? I recently got a boyfriend, but I have my doubts about ...
A. 7 September 2011: Love and sex may be different, but they should not be mutually exclusive, and I suspect you know that.
Not only is agreeing to be monogamous and not actually living up to the agreement wrong, but so is stringing along a boyfriend you are unsure o... (read in full...)
I don't think he's ever going to comit to me properly and fully
Q. Im not sure where we are going anymore.I have been with my partner for 18 months now,though i have known him for over 4 years(we were friends for a long time) Our relationship has always been a long distance one,he is currently in kabul i see him ...
A. 7 September 2011: Hmmm... ordinarily I would suggest a conversation with him, but you have already said you won't ask him about his feelings because it is not a subject you like to talk about. Since they have yet to invent a magic eight ball that actually works, we ... (read in full...)
I have an attraction to older men and don't know what to do about it
Q. Last night I had a weird dream. It began while I was standing on a dark street, alone, and I walked down to the end and the only other person who is there is my driving instructor (With whom I have no physical attraction, but otherwise I don't hate ...
A. 7 September 2011: I once had a dream about Michael J. Fox. Keep in mind that I am about 18 years older than you and he had a career before playing Stuart Little in those movies. Previously, I had not been attracted to him, but for a brief spell afterwards, because ... (read in full...)
Was it too soon to tell him I think about us having babies?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now..today I sent him a text message at random, saying that sometimes I think about us having babies. I asked him later if that was too weird of a text, because he didn't reply. He told me he just ...
A. 7 September 2011: Often people invest in a relationship and avoid these important questions - and then once they've invested in each other for years they find out that they each want different things out of life. I don’t recommend that approach.
If he is prepared... (read in full...)
Could there be a problem later on with us being the same age?
Q. Hi all,need some advice please...i and my boyfriend are 19.infact i'm a month older than him.my question is;could there be any disadvantage(s) of us being same age.we also have plans of getting married in a couple of years time....
A. 7 September 2011: Why would there be? What kind of disadvantages are you concerned about?... (read in full...)
My husband won't have sex until I dress up like a man??
Q. I'm 32, and my husband's 36, and I work in website design/corporate sites on a freelance basis, my husband's a chef at a local restaurant/Indian place. Over the past 3-4 weeks or so, he's been begging me to dress up differently when having sex. ...
A. 7 September 2011: It’s unusual for a man to sacrifice a healthy sexual relationship with a beautiful woman suddenly; unless you comply with something he wants as “a ‘fetish’ that he wanted to become semi-regular, not [an] everyday thing’. Could the threat of no more ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to have an emotional affair with a male friend?
Q. So my husband has a lot of friends that he hangs out with regularly. Nice guys, really. But a few weeks ago a new guy joined the group and something very strange has happened. This guy is the "cool" or "bad boy" type of guy. We'll call him J...
A. 6 September 2011: "Get the f* away from him"? WOW. I'm sorry for you. That's awful.
People can sense how you are feeling, even if you don't advertize it, so my advice stands.
I wonder why, in six weeks, your husband suddenly turned into a jerk... or was h... (read in full...)
How can I get him to talk to me about his fetish for 'shemales' so we can start building the trust again?
Q. So i realize that other people have posted on here about this topic but i was kinda looking to see if anyone could give me advice on my paticular situation. I've been dating my bf for about 3 1/2 years now and we have lived together for a good ...
A. 6 September 2011: This can be a difficult thing to accept because of gender stereotypes, but I give you kudos for trying. Having said that, I think it’s important to ask if he is lying about everything or just lying about visiting certain porn sites at certain ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to have an emotional affair with a male friend?
Q. So my husband has a lot of friends that he hangs out with regularly. Nice guys, really. But a few weeks ago a new guy joined the group and something very strange has happened. This guy is the "cool" or "bad boy" type of guy. We'll call him J...
A. 6 September 2011: It is impossible to know what is going on... it could be, as stated already, a "shiny, new bro-mance"... or it could be that James and his lifestyle have tapped into an aspect of your husband's mind-set that his previous friendships did not ... (read in full...)
I got badgered into sending nude photos, my dad found out and is now transferring me to another school
Q. Okay so there was this guy and at first I liked him. He would tell me I was special and make me feel good about myself, and he would act like he liked me too. And to be honest I think he did. He would come to my games and watch and cheer me on. He ...
A. 6 September 2011: What do you think this boy did with your nude pictures? Do you think he kept them to himself or do you think he shared them with others? Do you think he'll delete them anytime soon?
Your father might change his mind once the anger and fear and... (read in full...)
Have I screwed everything up by sleeping with him early?
Q. I met a guy at a friend's gathering a few weeks ago. We really hit it off, and he drove me home at the end of the evening. Came in for a few hours - we have some drinks and laughs, swapped numbers, but nothing happened. I text him the following ...
A. 6 September 2011: I think if it has screwed anything up, it was your heart. It’s unfortunate this man did not outline his intentions prior to sleeping with you and dating you repeatedly, but rather than give your friend’s assessment any weight, as comforting as I am ... (read in full...)
Is it just a break that can lead to getting back together, or is it a break up for good?
Q. Me and my girlfriend passed trough the bad period. I didn't have success in business for maybe 1,5 year. (no is getting better). This situation completely turned myself. I didn't care about myself, I didn't have any good energy. In the positive ...
A. 6 September 2011: Its impossible for us to know, but what you are doing increases your chances of winning her back or being happy if she chooses not to come back, so keep going...
It will be hard, but keep going and it will start to get easier.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend bringing a houseguest to my home
Q. My boyfriend is visiting from out of the country and will stay for a week. He's done that before, but this time, he is bringing a friend (I live in New York City, he and friend in a small town in France). I work from home, in a small one bedroom ...
A. 6 September 2011: I think CindyCares said it perfectly... and if it helps the 'brave-smile' be more convincing, just remind yourself that this is temporary and they have likely already booked a return flight. You only have to do it until that day arrives...
If it... (read in full...)
I hate doing the thing that is his number one turn on! What can I do?
Q. I hate being fingered/fingering myself and I know it's the biggest thing that turns on my bf as that's the sort of porn he watches. We have sex a lot and stuff. However, I feel this kinda pressure to finger myself for him [he doesn't ask] because I ...
A. 6 September 2011: He doesn't ask you to do it, so don't do it. Stop putting the pressure on yourself to do it and be all things to him. This sounds tough because you want to do it for him, and you love him and that is sweet and admirable, but think of it this way: ... (read in full...)
Second chance? promises? what are the chances the relationship will last this time?
Q. If a couple who have been together only a yr. or so have a lot of issues throughout their relationship end up breaking up and then 2 mths. later decide to reunite without really working through these issues, can this relationship survive the second ...
A. 6 September 2011: I could not hope to accurately predict whether or not your relationship will work out the second time or not; never mind giving you a time-line for when or if things will fall apart. It doesn’t matter how things work or don’t work for other people ... (read in full...)
He waited 23 years to express his disappointment. How many people out there did not have sex on their first wedding night?
Q. How many people did not have sex on their wedding night and waited until the honeymoon?? Husband was upset that we did not have sex on wedding night. We did have sex as soon as we arrived at the hotel on the honeymoon. when i tried to explain...
A. 6 September 2011: You are paying too much attention to this 'complaint'. It is a distraction; meant to make you accept some blame for the break-up of the marriage. I would give it the attention it deserves, which is none.
IF this is a true complaint, he must be ... (read in full...)
Do I have reasons to be concerned or am I just crazy?
Q. I have been married for over 15 years when I found out that my wife, then girlfriend, had an affair when we were dating (exclusively). The main hurting point of the whole incident was not the affair, which I was very positive it happened when it ...
A. 24 November 2010: Wow - i am sorry i haven't been about for a while, OP.
Really - the answer is simple - You don't have to get over it. You can decide the past is too much for you to swallow (and I suspect it is) and end the relationship, or you can put it in th... (read in full...)
Do I have reasons to be concerned or am I just crazy?
Q. I have been married for over 15 years when I found out that my wife, then girlfriend, had an affair when we were dating (exclusively). The main hurting point of the whole incident was not the affair, which I was very positive it happened when it ...
A. 20 September 2010: You are over-reacting. You already know how it looks to outsiders that you keep bringing up this old situation with your wife, which is why you have asked us not to comment on that.
I don't know what the "rest of the iceberg" looks like, but I ha... (read in full...)
1000 texts late at night...work related?
Q. I had recently caught my wife of 18yrs deleting phone calls from her cell phone to a coworker so I intercepted the phone bill and discovered she had sent 1000 texts to this guy over one months time, some of these were in the middle of the night ...
A. 20 September 2010: 1000 texts? Wow... I would get bored with anyone who sent me 20 texts in one evening.
She may not have SLEPT with this man, but this was NOT work related. There was something going on...
Why delete calls anyway? If it is innocent, who ha... (read in full...)
The girl is messing with my head--she may or may not be pregnant..
Q. Dear Cupid, I've got a really massive problem and I could be doing with some advice. I meet this girl and we got on really well, she was on the pill and we had sex a number of times unprotected and I'm discusted with myself. The last time w...
A. 20 September 2010: I would be happy to help, but the advice may be different depending on your age... could you give us a ball-park age?... (read in full...)
He left me and says he doesnt' miss me, but his actions say other things? Which should I go by?
Q. My boyfriend of six months broke up with me. He told me not to worry because we'd always be friends. He was working in the next town over at the time and had planned on moving back but the break up just came back, got his stuff from his place and ...
A. 25 June 2010: Here's a first. I disagree with big ron. Anyone who agrees with me is a wise and mature human-being (joke). Actually, the fact that big ron can admit he still loves his ex, seems "in touch with his feelings" to me, but here I will contradict ... (read in full...)
Is he using me until something better comes along?
Q. I am divorced and living in a foreign country. I have been seeing a man for a while who I love but he does not love me back. How long should I wait? should I force the issue? Some of my friends think that he using me. He stays with me and hard...
A. 25 June 2010: Many of us are afraid of being alone at some point, whether we are in a foreign country with few we feel we can relate to due to cultural/language barriers or not. Fortunately, many of us step off the platform of “being with a partner” (term used ... (read in full...)
Am I in a dangerous relationship or am I over-reacting?
Q. Im starting to worry about my boyfriends behavior and it he has the potential to become abusive in the future with our relationship. we have been dating for about 3 months. he is almost twenty and im sixteen. he always wants to be with me. we hang ...
A. 25 June 2010: Yay to go, girl!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
I am VERY proud of you and I hope you are, too. It is so easy for people to stay in unhealthy situations.
Woo hooo! :-)... (read in full...)
Should I trust the boy who's been hiding his very dark history from me?
Q. Hello, I hooked up with a boy two years younger than me...(I am fifteen.) He was really sweet and passionate, but I just found out about his more-than-unusual past. My mum approached me about it, and let me know that he'd spent quite a bit of time ...
A. 25 June 2010: A child killing someone? It's happened before, hasn't it? It doesn't matter where you are in the world, you've heard the stories... It is shocking, not common place, but sadly possible.
So, in the United States it is my understanding that juv... (read in full...)
In the three years since the baby she's lost all motivation
Q. I've been married for 3 years and we have been together for 6 years. We have 2 children together and she has 3 of her own. Here's my question. Since our daughter was born (3 years ago) my wife has no motoviation to do anything. She won't clean ...
A. 25 June 2010: I "third" this advice. Few wouldn't be depressed and unmotivated with five kids and the knowledge you are disappointing your husband.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Should I trust the boy who's been hiding his very dark history from me?
Q. Hello, I hooked up with a boy two years younger than me...(I am fifteen.) He was really sweet and passionate, but I just found out about his more-than-unusual past. My mum approached me about it, and let me know that he'd spent quite a bit of time ...
A. 24 June 2010: I probably wouldn't tell someone I killed someone else. I have to wonder how your mother found out, as his record would have to be closed.
And I would be wondering in a far away and safe place.
Get out. The instinct to kill is not "overcome... (read in full...)
No french-kissing and no foreplay makes this woman unfulfilled.
Q. My boyfriend and I, have been dating for 6 months. We have known each other for over 10 years but never dated. We are intimate and spend almost every night together. However, he doesn't really likes "french kissing". I have suggested and discussed ...
A. 24 June 2010: I don't like french kissing. Maybe soft little love-bites and minimal tongue action, but not all-out french kissing.
I would be more concerned about the disinterest in sex and givong you oral pleasure. If his "bits" seem to respond and work whe... (read in full...)
Pictures of my girlfriend's chest are on another man's phone!
Q. What should I do. I have found out on a recent night out my long term girl friend allowed one of her friends boy friends to take pictures of her breasts? I only found this out when I read some messages he has been sending her on facebook about h...
A. 24 June 2010: Going through someone else's Facebook messages IS snooping and someone with "high morals" can recognize that. This does not equal his girlfriend's wrong by any means, but it is certainly snooping.
This needs to be stated because if we are usin... (read in full...)
Pictures of my girlfriend's chest are on another man's phone!
Q. What should I do. I have found out on a recent night out my long term girl friend allowed one of her friends boy friends to take pictures of her breasts? I only found this out when I read some messages he has been sending her on facebook about h...
A. 24 June 2010: I didn't ask if she knows he has them. I asked if she knows that YOU KNOW he has them?
What she did (is doing) is wrong, but you snooped and "checked up on her". That is also wrong. Not equally wrong by any stetch of the imagination, but wron... (read in full...)
He left me and says he doesnt' miss me, but his actions say other things? Which should I go by?
Q. My boyfriend of six months broke up with me. He told me not to worry because we'd always be friends. He was working in the next town over at the time and had planned on moving back but the break up just came back, got his stuff from his place and ...
A. 24 June 2010: If we said he missed you, what would that give you? What would change for you?
He missed you well enough to notice you deleted him from facebook. Facebook doesn't notify people that they are no longer on someone's friend's list - you have to ... (read in full...)
Pictures of my girlfriend's chest are on another man's phone!
Q. What should I do. I have found out on a recent night out my long term girl friend allowed one of her friends boy friends to take pictures of her breasts? I only found this out when I read some messages he has been sending her on facebook about h...
A. 24 June 2010: That is inapporpriate. Before I can help I have some questions...
Have you called him up and asked him to delete them? Does his girlfriend know he has them?
Does your girlfriend know you know and does she know how you feel?
Why were you in... (read in full...)
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