Does she just want to break up?
Q. So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...
A. 15 September 2011: Good for you!
Even if you decide to forgive her and take her back, you are now aware of the patterns of abuse and will be able to nip them in the bud as they come up. Right now, you are teaching her that if she mistreats you, it is not as easy ... (read in full...)
Does she just want to break up?
Q. So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...
A. 14 September 2011: Don't lose face (or allow yourself to feel that you have). Walk away from it knowin gyou did all you could and the flowers were a gesture which demonstrate your honest attempts to try with this girl.
You have a backbone. You just ignored ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for a response, move on or keep texting him?
Q. i met this guy, i didn't notice him at first, but after he gave me signals tht he's interested in me, and everybody says so, i'm starting notice him, but he never says a word. until one day he finally asked me some random things, and asked for my ...
A. 14 September 2011: He never initiates contact because he doesn't have to. You always do. I wouldn't initiate contact with you, if I were him. You have set the precedent here. You are the 'pursuer'. It's more fun to be pursued than to be the pursuer. Why would he ... (read in full...)
Does she just want to break up?
Q. So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...
A. 14 September 2011: Reading this is making me tired. If you could take a step back and separate yourself from your emotions, you would be tired, too.
You are over-thinking this.
You are in a relationship with someone with a temper and a habit of allowing you to ... (read in full...)
Can you be married and fall in love with another person?
Q. Is it possible to fall in love with someone else when you are married?...
A. 14 September 2011: So, you knew the answer before you asked it.
I believe you have a question you aren't articulating; maybe it is because you haven’t realized what it is yourself yet (strong emotions can do that to us). Someone here may be able to help by offering... (read in full...)
How do I plan my holiday so I can see him?
Q. Dear everyone, I have a problem.I have always thought that I can solve my own problems, but now I think I am not enough... I've read Dearcupid for more than a year now and I see I can trust your pieces of advice and you all are incredibly helpful,...
A. 14 September 2011: It's frustrating. I get it. Be patient - sometimes the answers will come up on their own.
:-)... (read in full...)
Does she just want to break up?
Q. So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...
A. 13 September 2011: Umm... In order to help, I need to know if you omitted the details that indicate where you are a jerk, or are you just so accustomed to taking the blame when she over-reacts that you think you are a jerk, when you aren't?... (read in full...)
Should I wait for a response, move on or keep texting him?
Q. i met this guy, i didn't notice him at first, but after he gave me signals tht he's interested in me, and everybody says so, i'm starting notice him, but he never says a word. until one day he finally asked me some random things, and asked for my ...
A. 13 September 2011: You should stop texting him. Shy or not, he would have responded if he was interested. Disregarding your initial text was not a symptom of shyness. It was a rude signal that he is not intersted.
He's in another country now, anyway. What do ... (read in full...)
Husband has been acting really shady lately
Q. I need some advice... My husband has been acting real shady lately... He'll be on his phone in another room, and then jumps when I walk in the door. He carries his phone into the bathroom with him, won't go anywhere, even in the house, without his ...
A. 13 September 2011: Based on your most recent post, I would say you already are sensational.
Brilliant move, hun and good luck!... (read in full...)
Can you be married and fall in love with another person?
Q. Is it possible to fall in love with someone else when you are married?...
A. 12 September 2011: Lol... 'remembering names and stuff'.
When I answered this, I presumed it was as a general question. Are you facing a situation you need help with or just asking?... (read in full...)
Now that I finally like him he has all the girls he could want
Q. Theres this boy who I really like, but the problem is that we use to be bestfriends and he use to like me he would ask me out but I would always say no because one I was 11 and two I didnt like him in that way so we both moved schools and started ...
A. 12 September 2011: Eleven is too young to date. You say you like him now even though you don't really talk much. Are you sure you don't like him now because he has 'all the girls he could ever want'?
Sometimes 'success with the ladies' makes men appear more att... (read in full...)
I feel used and lied to
Q. So I recently asked for advice on a question of mine. It was regarding my ex telling me she was pregnant with my child and then not talking to me for a week. I can now extend this problem of mine by saying that it's now been almost 4 weeks. She come...
A. 12 September 2011: 'Women', as a whole, aren't screwed up in the head. I will forgive that ridiculous comment, though, because you are hurting.
In truth, it appears that both of you two are 'screwed up in the head'. Seriously. She is emotionally abusing you; lyi... (read in full...)
How do I plan my holiday so I can see him?
Q. Dear everyone, I have a problem.I have always thought that I can solve my own problems, but now I think I am not enough... I've read Dearcupid for more than a year now and I see I can trust your pieces of advice and you all are incredibly helpful,...
A. 12 September 2011: There is no harm in travelling with friends. There is safety in numbers.
Is it not possible that you have a couple of friends who would love to visit this beautiful city for their own reasons; for the cultural experiences, for the love of adven... (read in full...)
Is my jealously out of place?
Q. So I've been hanging with this guy for about a month now, we text everyday - I don't have to initiate every contact, he will randomly text me. A few weeks ago we talked about how neither of us were looking for a relationship quite yet, but we didn't ...
A. 12 September 2011: I agree with both Ciar and CindyCares.
I think the important point here is that it was callous of him to behave that way in front of you, though he does have a right to be with other people, as per your 'agreement'. He has a right to flirt an... (read in full...)
Can you be married and fall in love with another person?
Q. Is it possible to fall in love with someone else when you are married?...
A. 12 September 2011: Yes it is possible, but if the marriage is a good one, why would you want to?
;-)... (read in full...)
Why is my son reacting this way to her absence?
Q. I am a 35 year old widowed father of a 7 year old son. His mother died a few years ago from drugs. I own my own business, which has been doing well, but is time consuming. So, I had hired a nanny to help care for my son. I began dating a w...
A. 12 September 2011: Lol - technology is fun sometimes.
It is perfectly normal to have conflicting emotions when you are seven. He was mad at her, but loves her. Depending on how he is healing from the loss of his mother (my condolences, by the way), he may have a l... (read in full...)
Is it normal to stop being excited for a new baby?
Q. Last December my husband surprised me with a gift that made me the happiest ever, it was the best gift he could have ever given me. He said he wanted to have another baby. We already have a five year old son, and although I always wanted more ...
A. 12 September 2011: Is the divorced friend named "James", or did you write about this issue last week?
It's much easier to have ONE conversation thread with ALL of the pertinent details.
... (read in full...)
He won't see our child if we aren't together
Q. Hi me and my ex/ babydad got into a really bad argument in july and he won't see our kid its going on 3 months. We dated awhile the relationship ended because of (jealousy) and he won't see our child if we're not together what do I do?? How do I go ...
A. 12 September 2011: Be careful what you wish for: if this person refuses to see his child as a punishment to you, then he isn't going to be a good father when/if he IS visiting them.
Although the threat wasn't made so directly, I was once in a similar position... (read in full...)
How do you really feel about skinny jeans?
Q. I know this isn't a deep question, but how do you all feel about skinny jeans/tight pants on women? For most of my life I've worn pants that fit or were a little loose. They aren't falling off my butt or anything and I go and do visit tailors ...
A. 12 September 2011: Some people take the idea of 'skinny jeans' a bit far - no one is supposed to have a camel toe. However, they can look very sophisticated if worn with clothing and accessories which help promote that look. If you are wearing them as low-rise ... (read in full...)
Husband Doesn't Give Me Access to Any Money
Q. I am a stay-home mother to a two year old daughter and a one month old son. Before our first child was born I worked full time but my husband and I felt it was important for one of us to be around while our kids are little. He makes more money than ...
A. 12 September 2011: The fact that you are at home raising his children and doing housework so he can go out and earn money makes that part of the marital income. It was his idea as well as yours that you stay home.
You'll have to do better by yourself. You have to ... (read in full...)
Did my crush encourage this girl to cyber-bully me?
Q. My crush and I got into the biggest fight. Before that we seemed really close. We mostly chatted online because he lives in a different neighborhood. One day his friends came online when he wasn't around. She started saying I'm a freak, ugly, that I ...
A. 12 September 2011: His comment doesn't indicate that he influenced her to act like this, but whether he did or didn't doesn't matter. There are many things in life we will never know the answers to and over-thinking things is a waste of time.
You should not both... (read in full...)
Husband has been acting really shady lately
Q. I need some advice... My husband has been acting real shady lately... He'll be on his phone in another room, and then jumps when I walk in the door. He carries his phone into the bathroom with him, won't go anywhere, even in the house, without his ...
A. 12 September 2011: Pay attention to the red flags.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to stop being excited for a new baby?
Q. Last December my husband surprised me with a gift that made me the happiest ever, it was the best gift he could have ever given me. He said he wanted to have another baby. We already have a five year old son, and although I always wanted more ...
A. 12 September 2011: I would like to echo Honeypie's vehemence on this topic. He 'let' you sit with him? You are always available to him? It sounds like you are being way too conciliatory.
You should sit him down and have a talk. Be firm. If he gets upset, h... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I cheated 2 years later?
Q. Me and my bf had been together nearly 2 years when i cheated. I was away on a school trip i was 18. On the last night things got out of control, loads of drinking from the students and teachers. I was really drunk ,I know its not an excuse. ...
A. 12 September 2011: If you and your boyfriend break up, it doesn’t mean you are losing your religious identity. Catholicism speaks loudly and often about forgiveness. One simply needs to be sorry, truly, and they are forgiven their sins. Having premarital sex with a ... (read in full...)
Am I the reason he cheated? Can maturity change things in the future?
Q. I am at a bit of a loss. I dated my now ex boyfriend for 2 years. He was my first real boyfriend, and I was, and still am, very much in love with him. We have been separated for more than a year. Problem is, he cheated on me a couple times during ...
A. 12 September 2011: One should never get involved with someone when happiness in the relationship is dependent on them changing. If you think he needs to grow up or have counselling to stop cheating, then that is a HUGE, RED FLAG with the words "WALK AWAY" printed in ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to stop being excited for a new baby?
Q. Last December my husband surprised me with a gift that made me the happiest ever, it was the best gift he could have ever given me. He said he wanted to have another baby. We already have a five year old son, and although I always wanted more ...
A. 12 September 2011: Even if you were not pregnant, I would not take drugs to stabilize your emotions when we know if is not a chemical imbalance - it is simply that you are not happy in your current life situation. It is far better to fix what is making you unhappy. ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want to have sex with me! Advice?
Q. I love my husband so much we have been married for 2 years and i feel like he doesnt want to have sex with me but when i ask him has he gone off me he says no he is just tired. We seem to have sex on a saturday every week its just the same and he ...
A. 12 September 2011: This is a difficult situation and I feel for you. It’s possible he is really is just tired and yet it is natural for people to feel they are not turning on their partners – that they are being rejected. It’s REALLY important that you separate your ... (read in full...)
My husband has affairs and takes my love for granted. What should I do?
Q. I am 27 yrs and have been married for 4yrs and we have a daugher 3yrs. My husband started having affairs out of marriage on and of 3months after i gave birth. I have tried talking to him, my mum and his mum but he stays calm just for short will then ...
A. 12 September 2011: He isn't going to change. The good news is that YOU can change. You said your husband gave you one year to move out, but didn't say if he changed his mind about it. Whether he did take it back or not (it doesn’t matter what he says now), I would ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that one day we'll be together?
Q. my ex and I used to be best friends and then we decided to go out together. they were the best months until once he told me that he is afraid of commitment. he feels trapped when he is serious.at the same time he does not want to lose me. he didn't ...
A. 12 September 2011: I wouldn't tell him, though, if it were me. I would give myself some space to heal - away from him - and work on getting over him. He said he felt trapped when you were with him - he knew you cared about him at the time...
Telling him how you ... (read in full...)
I felt betrayed! He proposed to me and then kisses my best friend??
Q. ok i have a boyfriend and we have been dating for six months and he proposed to me last week. then yesterday i saw him with my best friend kissing and i shouted at him and now he won't stop calling what to do?...
A. 12 September 2011: You found out your best friend and your boyfriend have been married to each other for one year?
How close are you to your best friend?
If this is actually a real scenario, then break up with him and make friends you actually know things abou... (read in full...)
I felt betrayed! He proposed to me and then kisses my best friend??
Q. ok i have a boyfriend and we have been dating for six months and he proposed to me last week. then yesterday i saw him with my best friend kissing and i shouted at him and now he won't stop calling what to do?...
A. 9 September 2011: I also disagree that you will be wondering in 50 years what really happened. I doubt you will be wondering in 50 weeks what really happened.
You know what you saw. Don't doubt yourself.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still hurt over his failed marriage, and is freaking out and scared of being close to me!
Q. Dear all, please advise. I have been seeing a man for around six months who split with his wife and kids around 2.5 years ago. He recently told me that he took it very badly, and that the house in which he lives whic I visit was his family and ...
A. 9 September 2011: Well, first of all, we can never guarantee we will not hurt someone. All we can do is promise that we will always be honest and that we will honour our commitments to them (not to cheat, for example). Your relationship, at 6months of age, is still ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll lose him due to self-fulfilling prophecy
Q. Why am I so afraid to lose him? We seem to be doing so well, but I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop (it's happened in every other aspect of my life, so why not in this relationship, too?). Every time we're together is bittersweet for ...
A. 9 September 2011:
If he has given you no indication that he is losing interest; if you get together and enjoy each other’s company, then it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might lose him if you keep it up.
The above paragraph sounds callus and that is not ... (read in full...)
My cousin is being too playful!
Q. OKay i am 16 an cousin is 18. My cousin has been acting a bit weird lately. He was never like so playful since i knew him. But now i think he has changed. He s being too playful. He have been telling me that he loves me then when i gave him a su...
A. 9 September 2011: It sounds as though he is attracted to you. I say this without directly observing his behaviour, mind you.
Whatever is going on in his head, what he is doing is making you feel uncomfortable, and you can address that. There are some tactics ... (read in full...)
My cousin is being too playful!
Q. OKay i am 16 an cousin is 18. My cousin has been acting a bit weird lately. He was never like so playful since i knew him. But now i think he has changed. He s being too playful. He have been telling me that he loves me then when i gave him a su...
A. 9 September 2011: It sounds as though he is attracted to you. I say this without directly observing his behaviour, mind you.
Whatever is going on in his head, what he is doing is making you feel uncomfortable, and you can address that. There are some tactics ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that one day we'll be together?
Q. my ex and I used to be best friends and then we decided to go out together. they were the best months until once he told me that he is afraid of commitment. he feels trapped when he is serious.at the same time he does not want to lose me. he didn't ...
A. 9 September 2011: There is a chance, but not likely. Certainly, if there is a chance, I wouldn't be thinking about it or wondering at it; it's not healthy in that it keeps your heart and mind on him and closes you off from other opportunities.
When I have dated so... (read in full...)
I just found out he used to be involved with my sister!
Q. Ahhh! lol I need some serious advice! I have been seeing this guy for almost 2 years. He's good friends with my step sister. It started out as friends with benefits. We only talked to each other basically when we wanted sex. And then, the sex be...
A. 9 September 2011: If I were him and an honourable person (which I presume he is), I probably would have assumed you knew - that your sister had told you already - and would not have wanted to taint what you share by bringing it up.
I am more surprised you sister w... (read in full...)
I can't tell if the date went well. He hasn't called, is that bad?
Q. Went on a date w this guy on monday. We met from online. He seemed nice, opened doors, took me out to a nice sushi restaurant.i guess he was nervous because he was willing to change his shirt, if I didnt like it, kept reminding me he can be ...
A. 9 September 2011: I would move forward as though he won't call. If he does, that is nice, but he took a long time to do so, and I would expect him to always disappoint in that capacity.
He knows you liked him and want to see him again. He is either keeping ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't let me dump him!
Q. What do you do when your bf wont LET you dump him ? I mean honestly... Its really hard on me because i really DO care about him so much, and if i knew a way id make it work if I could... But he tends to put his own needs first and put mine asi...
A. 9 September 2011: The only way we should get or stay involved with people is if our happiness in the relationship is not dependent on them “changing”. You are in the middle of a very unhealthy situation and you have to make some tough decisions – and live up to them ... (read in full...)
Facebook relationship status. Distant boyfriend. Post break-up issues.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. He used to be the sweetest guy and as soon as we god together he changed his relationship status on Facebook to In a Relationship, he would always come to see me, he would write sweet messages ...
A. 9 September 2011: I agree with Ciar - and would add that if you ended it the first time, your gut was being honest with you. Give yourself some credit and follow your gut!
Remind yourself about how crummy it felt to be in this relationship the second time around a... (read in full...)
Does sex on the first date ruin the chance of a relationship?
Q. I am now seeing this guy whom i have been talking to for while on the internet.I tried not to have sex with on the first date as I have been told that he will dump me and a relationship will not happen if you sleep with them straight away.I asked ...
A. 8 September 2011: I always make it clear I won't have sex on the first date, or necessarily the second or third. If a man drives a long way to see me and is hoping for more than sex, he will understand that ladies do not lift their skirts so easily and the classy ... (read in full...)
I'm going off to college, he wants a break, I'm scared, what do I do?
Q. My boyfriend has asked me to take a break from our relationship. We have been together for 5 months now. I am going off to college and he is so overstressed about school, football, me leaving, and his good friend going over seas. I love this boy ...
A. 8 September 2011: If you are both 'like magic', then you have nothing to fear from giving him the space he is asking for.
It hurts when someone we care deeply for appears to want to move into a new part of their lives without us. Sometimes when they tell us they ... (read in full...)
Facebook relationship status. Distant boyfriend. Post break-up issues.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. He used to be the sweetest guy and as soon as we god together he changed his relationship status on Facebook to In a Relationship, he would always come to see me, he would write sweet messages ...
A. 8 September 2011: You have been given some good advice. All I am doing is adding my agreement here:
I think I recently said in another post that committing to someone is not just what we say to each other, but what we communicate to the world.
You are react... (read in full...)
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