A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This isnt exactly a love question,but it does have to do with my ex boyfriend.We have a 5 year old daughter together and i broke up with him about 4 years ago.I really cant stand him,when i started dating him i was only 18 and still not the brightest crayon in the box when it came to men.So anyways,we still keep in contact,even though id rather not.I do it for my daughter,and try to put up with him.I allow him to visit her here at my house,or take her out with him for awhile when he wants.My biggest problem with her dad,is that he comes into my house when nobody is home.Today I had left a window open,with a screen in it because my cats like to sit in the window on nice days.So when I came home tonight,I noticed all the lights were on,the front door was unlocked,and my computer had been used.He gets on my computer and looks at porn when im not home! Just to double check and make sure im not jumping to conclusions,i checked the history on my computer,and sure enough....tons of porn sites.So by this point I was sure it was him that came in, and i called the police,and just asked that they talk to him.maybe scare him a bit so he stops doing this.But I am at my whits end.I feel like not even associating with him,but I dont want to make things rough for my daughter.What should I do if he doesnt stop? He has no respect for me at all,and has even taken money before when I wasnt home.Hes a low life.Im sorry to say it,but it is really true.What should I do? Should I press charges next time? Or just do something myself,like not allow him to see her until he straightens up? Id hate to do that to her though.
View related questions:
broke up, money, my ex, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 How creepy. I feel for you.
I agree not to use access to your daughter as a tool to solve this problem. It could be detrimental to your relationship with her. She would resent you for denying her access to her father.
I think you should quietly (away from your daughter) warn him the next time he enters your home without your permission, you will be pressing charges.
Then, I would always lock up after me. The cats will find new places to sit when the weather is nice. It may only be temporarily that they are denied access to an open window while you are out.
If he attempts to break in once or twice and finds he can not access the home, he may be deterred from future attempts.
I would consider a Nanny Cam, so you have proof of his access in the event you do wish to press charges (prove it is him and not someone else) and an Alarm.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 September 2009):
Well good for letting you daughter see her dad. I know your don't really want to, but you're doing the right thing.
However, he has no right to come into your house. At all. Don't use your daughter to blackmail him, because he can use that against you in a court. However, tell him straight up that if he comes into your house again, you'll press charges.
And mean it.
Stay strong, you're doing a brilliant job. Hope that helps. x
...............................
|
