Should I move on or email him? It's an online, LDR.
Q. I have been talking to a 45 year old man (I'm 23) over the internet for about 5 months now. He lives about 13 hours away from me and I plan on moving to the state he lives in, in about 3 months (for college). Hes not married (is divorced). So we ...
A. 8 November 2009: You probably ARE over it... or maybe that is a brave face that I would encourage (fake it until you make it).
I CAN say, he wasted your time, beautiful lady. :-)
In the future, you will take online, as intense as it can feel, with a grain of ... (read in full...)
Where should I meet my internet/text boyfriend? His place or mine?
Q. ive been txting a man ive met on the internet for almost 2 months now and i am meeting him next week. he lives few hours away and i need to know the best way to approach this meeting. i am not going to sleep with him on the first night so i am ...
A. 8 October 2009: If he comes to your town, you have no obligation to spend the night with him in his hotel room. You can spend a lot of time with him and never set foot in there. You don't even have to go inside the lobby.
The other option (in my opinion)... (read in full...)
In love with my daughter in law...
Q. Ok here it goes...I find myself deeply in love with my daughter in law..I want to have sex so bad with her..Sometimes when my son invites me over,I tell him I can't today....They have 3 little girls..I hate to do something that will break them ...
A. 8 October 2009: Ouch. Tough situation.
While I sympathize, you must never say anything to her. Essentially, you'd be putting your uncomfortable feelings on to her and she would then need to speak to her husband about them. You would not be welcome over any... (read in full...)
We both have insecurity issues. How do we get over this?
Q. my girlfriend and I really love eachother, however there is a slight issue. She is close friends to another guy and sees him as her brother but then they used to like eachother in the past, although it was at different time. They would phone ...
A. 8 October 2009: Neither one of you feels entirely secure in your relationship; hence the insecurity. This means that while you do not think your girlfriend will cheat or be dishonest (you trust her), you are insecure about the apparent intimacy she has with her ... (read in full...)
She wants to go travelling and I'm having a hard time with it
Q. Hi, My gf of 7 months has just dropped a big bomb on me out of nowhere, she says she wants to go travelling for a year, her friend who has been travelling has put some ideas into her head that it would make her more confident and happy in herself...
A. 8 October 2009: I’m impressed with you. Your questions reflect a relatively centred.
The answer is YES. You feel scared and a little envious (envious of her ability to drop everything and explore the world and envious that her friend's words appeared to carry... (read in full...)
Does he like me? Or does my shyness make my unapproachable?
Q. Ok so a few quarters back I started liking this guy and he showed interest too, then i finally talked to him at the end of that quarter. I don't know if I went into it too fast and scared him off or whatever happened (might be because I'm 8yrs older ...
A. 8 October 2009: I don't know if he likes you, but this is how I would approach things.
1) He rejected you when you tried to approach him. It's up to HIM to make a move now.
2) You have already made yourself approachable. When you have the mentality that y... (read in full...)
She ignores me if anyone else is around!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a major problem. I am 3 months into school. Me and my GF broke up the first week. We were deeply in love with each other. We were always together till a new friend showed up at school. My gf wouldn't talk to me much at school but ...
A. 8 October 2009: While it hurts to hear this, you obviously need to. Make sure you are sitting down.
She is not your girlfriend anymore. Yes, you were clingy and needy and insecure (turn offs for anyone, btw), whether you believe "she started it" or "inspire... (read in full...)
She treats me badly, but I still love her! How do I confront her about the issue?
Q. I really don't understand what is going on right now! I am a female, and 14. I had fallen in love with someone who is a few monts younger then me and she is also a female. I am bi and I already told her all that. I already told her I loved her too. ...
A. 8 October 2009: The horrible thing about believing we are “in love” at fourteen is that we have little to no experience with that emotion, do not think we’ll feel that way about anyone else again, and it feels so intense. The wonderful thing about young love is ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like he feels the same way that I do for him...is it just me?
Q. how do i tell if this guy i am talking to really likes me or is he just leading me on... ok so we started talking in May ... during the months of june and july we didnt talk because my phone had got cut off so in august i got a phone and we started ...
A. 8 October 2009: Are you prepared to lose him and walk away? If so, then simply tell him that if you are to be exclusive to him, you need him to make more time for you.
You have needs and want him to meet them. If he is unable to or unwilling to, you must be ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my feelings for him?
Q. please help me i'm confused the thing is that i used to like this guy at my school wel he looked a little interested and now he is dating a girl who use 2 be my friend and we argued over the guy so i gues we are enemies.. And now almost every one ...
A. 8 October 2009: You need space from him. You need to move on with your life without him being in your mind all of the time, and you can do that by applying discipline.
The more contact you have with him, but your own admission, it ignites your feelings... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to go farther than I want
Q. my boyfriend wants more then just kissing..he gave me a hickey i didnt want it.... he is making me feel uncomfortable by touching me!!! and i told him to stop and he yells and says its like we are just friends nothing more... and he has slaped me ...
A. 8 October 2009: He didn't mind hurting you. You need to grow a back-bone and tell him it's over... unless you don't want it to be.
... (read in full...)
Married with kids. Is the type of sexual assistance I give my man enough?
Q. My husband and I have 3 kids under the age of 7 and I work part time. I am pretty exhausted chasing the kids, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and have lost my sex drive for the past 9 months. I am concerned that it will never come back like it ...
A. 7 October 2009: Never fake an orgasm. ;-)
If you can feel sexy again, your sex drive will improve. Try shaking things up a bit. I know not everyone is interested in sex toys or porn, but they can help. Your husband may give you a massage or pour you a bath. ... (read in full...)
Big questions about life and guys......
Q. [Moderator's Note: 3 questions from the same poster have been put together into one post] Question 1: How do I get over a guy whose made fun of me many times to my face and behind my back to his friends that can become very agressive in the littlest...
A. 7 October 2009: There is nothing wrong with drinking and dancing, overall. Who cares if people look at you differently? If I lived my life to please others, I would be miserable… and I am VERY HAPPY. ;-)
However, in your situation, I believe that you drink an... (read in full...)
Eliminating erotic thoughts of an instructor
Q. my question how do i eliminate such erotic thoughts of an instructor. the situation is i have an odd relationship with my instructor. she basically saw me grow up. i had the hots for her which is normal but got confused when she began subtly ...
A. 7 October 2009: Having a crush on one's instructor or teacher is normal as you seem to know. It is inappropriate that she is flirting or giving innuendos.
Spending more time with her has sent her the message that her advances are welcome and would only serve to... (read in full...)
Is there any chance that initial spark can be rekindled and we can start over at a slower pace?
Q. I hung out with this guy a few weeks ago and we had really hit it off. To make a long story very short, it started off sweet but within three days we were getting really physical, and I was afraid he was planning on just using me for sex. I g...
A. 7 October 2009: Oh! And don't talk about him with his friends anymore... mutual or not. That shows you are still interested in dating and it gets back to him... trust me.... (read in full...)
Is there any chance that initial spark can be rekindled and we can start over at a slower pace?
Q. I hung out with this guy a few weeks ago and we had really hit it off. To make a long story very short, it started off sweet but within three days we were getting really physical, and I was afraid he was planning on just using me for sex. I g...
A. 7 October 2009: I think Ask oldersister said it perfectly. If you were to speak to him again anytime soon about this "issue", I would do it exactly as she has advised.
However you can also communicate the same things by carrying on as friends and saying nothing.... (read in full...)
How do I end this affair and just be friends?
Q. I hav known this guy like forever, we kinda dated som years ago jus a short time, but we always remain really good friends, we lost contact for a while an met each other again, since then he was married only january dis year an has a 2yr old son, ...
A. 7 October 2009: You simply need to talk to him and tell him that you value his friendship, but are not interested in continuing a sexual relationship with him.
It may take some time for him to adjust, but stick to it and it should work out.
He may need some sp... (read in full...)
I'm still stumped if my best friend really likes me as more than a friend?
Q. I'm still stumped if my best friend likes me as more of a friend? He talks to me on the bus and makes fun of me playfully. Looks at me if I walk by and he hates if I don't talk to him but a friend would feel the same way. I never can tell if his ...
A. 7 October 2009: Friends do that too. What's this with the eyes dilated? Eyes dilate due to change in light so help us see better... NOT when he like someone.
:S... (read in full...)
I don't need him but I love him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months now. Before we started to date - he sacrificed his once a month weed smoking habits because he knows I don't like them. Now, six months later, he texts me out of the blue because he wants to go to ...
A. 7 October 2009: Relationships lasting only six months amongst university students should not yet require any sacrifices of a significant nature. If YOU wish to make sacrifices, then make them. However it is most effective and meaningful to do things for people ... (read in full...)
He seemed to like me, told his friends about me but we never met up and I don't know why!
Q. I dont quite understand what went on here. There was bascially a guy that seemed to like me, i was shy and wasnt ure how to respond and then when stuf started to become ALOT more ovious that he like me and the prolems started with other people as ...
A. 7 October 2009: This post was hard to read. The poor grammar and spelling aside, your details are jumbled and it is very possible that you've left me too confused to be helpful. No judgements meant here; sometimes emotions can do that. That said I will help as ... (read in full...)
Does sex hurt because new guy is bigger or do I have STD?
Q. I broke up with my last boyfriend about half a year back and have been seeing a new guy for about 2 months now. My last boyfriend was my first, we always used contraception so I am unlikely to have caught anything from him but am going to get a ...
A. 7 October 2009: Women stretch, and after not having sex for a while (a year and a half, for example) they shrink, too.
Especially since you have only been with one man before your current boyfriend, it makes perfect sense that you may feel uncomfortable or even ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and sex hurts but I want it!
Q. im pregnant and put off sex as it hurts my lower back and inbetween my hips is this normal?i no pregnant women dont tend to want sex when pregnant but thats not the case with me i do like to have sex but i get put off as i know it will hurt someone ...
A. 7 October 2009: Lots of women still enjoy sex while pregnant.
You should try other positions and other ways to acheive satisfactuon that do not hurt your back or hips. Vibrators and/or oral sex could be helpful.
Good luck and congratulations ... (read in full...)
I look great now - is that the only reason he wants to be with me?
Q. Hello, I'd love to hear your opinions. I'm 37 and have been divorced 5 years with three great kids. Since my divorce my self esteem has been pretty low and I ended up putting on 3 stone in weight. Two years ago I became friends with a man 8 years ...
A. 7 October 2009: I doubt it has as much to do with your physical appearance as it is a result of your new-found confidence. Think about it. If you had not lost all the weight, but felt as great as you do now, don't you think you'd be more attractive to anyone (I ... (read in full...)
Is this 'relationship' worth pursuing?
Q. Hi guys! I've recently met a guy a couple of weeks ago. We went out for a drink a few days after meeting, and he told me he didn't want any kind of serious relationship and just wanted a bit of fun. I've been having relationship problems myself l...
A. 7 October 2009: I think you're in a denial of sorts.
Askoldersister and I unanimously answered your questions. Yes it is a lost cause and no, there is no chance this will be anything more than sex - whether there are little outings in between the sex or not.
... (read in full...)
Should I move on or email him? It's an online, LDR.
Q. I have been talking to a 45 year old man (I'm 23) over the internet for about 5 months now. He lives about 13 hours away from me and I plan on moving to the state he lives in, in about 3 months (for college). Hes not married (is divorced). So we ...
A. 6 October 2009: My boyfriend of almost four years is 24 years my senior. It doesn't work for everyone, but it can and does for us.
Having said that, I would hesitate to take seriously anything that "develops" online.
While you can email him and ask if he go... (read in full...)
What do my dreams mean? Is it guilt?
Q. i recently graduated from hs. there was this girl who ws infatuated with me since 8th grade except i didn`t know her as well. we had classes together she was shy. one day she told me her feelings but i didn`t respond it caught me off guard. i guess ...
A. 6 October 2009: I am inclined to think it is not guilt. For some reason your mind has selected her as a tool to try and represent something to you... That's just my two cents worth.
It is possible that something from your past, perhaps closely related to those... (read in full...)
We aren't together, but I still feel let down. What should I do?
Q. Im really attahcd to a guy that lives about 2 hours away. Im going to university next year and il be living about 20 minutes away from him. Im so attached to him, i think about him all the time. I met him at a festival and we got on so well, inst...
A. 6 October 2009: You have two choices.
1) Continue to engage with this guy as a potential love-interest. This path will lead to hurt, or;
2) Slot him in the "Will never happen" category and start investing in dating someone for real. This path leads to ha... (read in full...)
How can I get over being so controlling? Is it justified?
Q. This woman was my first real relationship. Real as In a person I could see myself marrying. I grew up with no father and my mom a abused me and ditched me. My best friend who was also a chick ditched me. And my first real girlfriend used me cheated ...
A. 6 October 2009: Relationships are also full of compromise. You need to think about what is specifically making you feel this way. I an help with more information.
When you feel badly towards the male friends or to her? Can you hang out with her friends ... (read in full...)
What are some tips in lasting longer during sex?
Q. so I met this amazing person, and we care for each other deeply. But when it comes to sex, I cum too fast. Not even like, I dont last long. But, Literally, I came as the condom was put on. I cant control this, I have tried "dont foc...
A. 6 October 2009: Have you tried masturbating once or twice prior to seeing her? You need practice.. The more sex you have the more control you will have, and the less sensitive you will be, but in the meantime, this might help.
Alternatively, when my boyfrien... (read in full...)
To get attention do guys send random text messages?
Q. Do guys send random text messages to get a females attention? Mine broke up with me, after cheating twice, with the same girl... it ended a week ago... I have not spoken to him and then this morning, he sends me a text that said "lets go to the h...
A. 6 October 2009: No one here will know why he sent it. It could be all of the above or a combination of any of the above. Really, it is not important.
What is important is not why he sent it, but how his sending it affects you. It has interrupted your healing ... (read in full...)
He wants to go from 1 to 10 with no inbetween?
Q. I've been seeing someone for about a month. We get along great, see each other often and many times we just spend time talking, playing sport, going for walks etc. He's been very slow to make a move on me and even after he did he's been slow in ...
A. 6 October 2009: I think you should bite the bullet and bring it up. A month of dating is not all that long, but it would be nothing to ask a question (without appearing to put too much weight on it) like:
"When you brought up sex the other day, it got me think... (read in full...)
What do my dreams mean? Is it guilt?
Q. i recently graduated from hs. there was this girl who ws infatuated with me since 8th grade except i didn`t know her as well. we had classes together she was shy. one day she told me her feelings but i didn`t respond it caught me off guard. i guess ...
A. 6 October 2009: Its possible she is a symbol for something else. Your mind, trying to tell you something in your sleep, picks up the best symbol it can to represent the message.
We'd only be guessing, but our guesses may be more accurate if we knew how you feel... (read in full...)
How serious should I take it when he says we are not having sex, we are making love?
Q. Ok aunts...this is tricky...im curious how far am i suppose to go when considering the words that are said during sex...i know some talk sh*t when making out and it's just apart of sex...but this guy told me we weren't having sex we were making ...
A. 6 October 2009: Why wonder? Does it really matter?
The time wasn't right before. It appears it may be now. Drop the "why not before?" questions and enjoy today, or you will risk spoiling it for both of you.
:-)... (read in full...)
How can I drop hints I might be pregnant
Q. how can i drop hints to my mam i might be pregnant because i think i am because i am late on my period and my stomach is growing also i am going to the loo alot please help i have no one i get home schooled and the nearest town is 50 miles away...
A. 6 October 2009: When you are feeling ill does she take you to the doctor? You are between the ages of 18 - 21. Can you not think of a way to go to the doctor or an excuse which would take you to town?
You have internet access, so you can't be that shut in. Do ... (read in full...)
I feel stupid for letting it get so bad, we have to fix this or we break up
Q. I'm not really used to this whole blogging your feelings thing but here it goes: -takes deep breath- I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I truly do love him. He is honest(tactless but honest nonetheless), a great provider, and sh...
A. 6 October 2009: When he hits you or guilt-trips you into things you do not want to do, or behaves in a scary (threatening) manner when he is mad, he is displaying his disregard for you and your feelings of happiness and safety. He doesn’t care if you WANT sex - he ... (read in full...)
How do I keep our friendship without feeling this discomfort around her?
Q. To start: I am just over eighteen and still inexperienced with matters of the heart, I have dated quite a few girls and they all said they loved me but I never really felt it back. Now there is this girl who I have been friends with for maybe f...
A. 6 October 2009: Hmmm... I really hate to give anyone false hopes, but are you certain her feelings have not changed towards you? You MAY have planted a seed with her about getting together.. one she hadn't considered before you mentioned her interest.
Does ... (read in full...)
Should I text her or tell her face to face?
Q. Im a senior in high school this year. Ever since the end of my Sophomore year I have really like this girl. She did something really nice for me, which I wont go into detail. But it really touched my heart, and I've liked her ever since. ...
A. 6 October 2009: If one of your friends is talking to her, maybe you should talk with him. Ask him how serious he is about her. You don't even need to tell him how you feel to find this out.
I am inclined to agree that such matters are best left out of text mes... (read in full...)
I have sex with guys - does this make me a whore?
Q. Okay so I am 16 and I lost my virginity at like 13. It was with someone I had a relationship with for 11 months. I don't regret it but it's brought me to like to have sex and do more things with the person I am with. I have had sex with more than ...
A. 6 October 2009: 1) As the others have said you are not a whore.
2) As the others have said, do not go back with the abusive ex.
It is a VERY RARE scenario when people can reunite and find things work the second time around. And you should know that nothing... (read in full...)
Is this 'relationship' worth pursuing?
Q. Hi guys! I've recently met a guy a couple of weeks ago. We went out for a drink a few days after meeting, and he told me he didn't want any kind of serious relationship and just wanted a bit of fun. I've been having relationship problems myself l...
A. 6 October 2009: Yes, it is a lost cause from the start. You have developed feelings for him and they will only grow the more time you spend with him.
You need to get rid of those little maybes that keep you hoping there may be something more. You need to think... (read in full...)
I really don't know what he wants from me!
Q. I've been fooling around with a guy. We're close friends. He's told me wants a relationship but I've mad it clear from the start that it won't happen and that I just don't want to get into anything that deep with anyone again. He's happy with what ...
A. 6 October 2009: He wants a relationship. Not all boys/men are able to engage sexually without the promise of something more. He may be willing in his heart to take whatever he can get from you, and may hope that sex leads to more, but his penis (subconscious ... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 6 October 2009: Just because someone SEEMS to match our ideal, doesn't mean they are the one.
It takes time to grieve over lost loves; there is not specific time frame that works for everyone. You are in love with the girl you THOUGHT you had. In time, you will... (read in full...)
How do I bring up the subject without pressuring her?
Q. Hey fellow agony aunts! I'm in quite a dilema. Im 14 soon to be 15. My girl friend is 15 and we both have been together for a while. Like 8 months. We've done nothing sexual just innocent kisses and making out. But for a long time now i've been ...
A. 5 October 2009: I am certainly not going to be advising two people as young as you are about how to start engaging in sexual penetration. However, have you considered furthering the play in ways that involved exploring each other with your penis outside of your ... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 5 October 2009: I doubt you need to be mistreated to be happy. It is most likely you still aren't 100% over girl #1. Two months is not enough time to have a full emotionally intimate relationship with girl #2.
You are still in the discovery phase. Continue... (read in full...)
How can I drop hints I might be pregnant
Q. how can i drop hints to my mam i might be pregnant because i think i am because i am late on my period and my stomach is growing also i am going to the loo alot please help i have no one i get home schooled and the nearest town is 50 miles away...
A. 5 October 2009: Before you do anything, try and get to a pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. It would be awful to tell her you may be pregnant only to find out that you are not. Is there a doctor near you? You can find out with them as well and they have ... (read in full...)
How serious should I take it when he says we are not having sex, we are making love?
Q. Ok aunts...this is tricky...im curious how far am i suppose to go when considering the words that are said during sex...i know some talk sh*t when making out and it's just apart of sex...but this guy told me we weren't having sex we were making ...
A. 5 October 2009: NEVER read anything into what a guy says during or after sex, like Ask Oldersister says.
And as for what he wants now, I think if he calls you and wants to go on a date in a timely manner (not just meeting up for sex), that will tell you what he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to go farther than I want
Q. my boyfriend wants more then just kissing..he gave me a hickey i didnt want it.... he is making me feel uncomfortable by touching me!!! and i told him to stop and he yells and says its like we are just friends nothing more... and he has slaped me ...
A. 5 October 2009: The statement below reading, "You will want to be sure he doesn’t brag about it to his friends (ruin your reputation); that he makes you feel that having sex is/has and will always be an extension of the physical intimacy you already share," should ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to go farther than I want
Q. my boyfriend wants more then just kissing..he gave me a hickey i didnt want it.... he is making me feel uncomfortable by touching me!!! and i told him to stop and he yells and says its like we are just friends nothing more... and he has slaped me ...
A. 5 October 2009: You are right to feel proud of your virginity. Sexual Intimacy is, as I am always saying, BEST when it is an amplification or manifestation of the Emotional Intimacy you are already sharing with the special person in your life. It does “keep” a ... (read in full...)
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