I left my shy, dull wife for a wildcat. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster!
Q. Left my wife of 15 years because we grew apart and it seemed like we just wanted different things in life. The thing is, my wife has always been painfully shy. Always hates crowds, or parties or bars. I live for the crowds and the parties and the ...
A. 15 September 2009: When one has tried all that is reasonable, there is no other course than to move on...
... I suggest you move out of your wife's home, be the kind of man who can stand on his own two feet, and find a lady who is the best of both worlds (stable ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for taking him back? Or should I just ignore what people say and continue to work things out with my ex?
Q. After a break up with my ex we started to try and work things out, going for dates etc, and things seem to be going well. However a lot of people have commented that im stupid for taking him back as a lot of things have gone wrong with our ...
A. 15 September 2009: They could be right. I am not sure how forgiving I would be if I were thrown out on a whim (to be told a week later it was a mistake), but they also could be wrong.
Ultimately it is you who lives with your life's decisions, so it is only you who ... (read in full...)
Is she stalking him or am I going nuts?
Q. I dont know what to do about this girl.... I started to date my current boyfriend about 6 weeks ago. When we first got together, there was a bit of a problem with a friend of his . She had a huge crush on him, though she knew it would never be m...
A. 15 September 2009: It's not you; it's her. She's a weirdo.
I wouldn't consider her a stalker, though. She's one of those losers who would prefer to be gum on the bottom of a man's shoe, than finding one that actually cares for them.
Your boyrfiend is the... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't live without my crush
Q. Hi i really need help, i met a boy in a school trip he was very funny and i like him, we talked everyday until late hours, he flirted on me but i knew he got a girlfriend, when i asked about her he didnt talke alot about it he only told me they were ...
A. 15 September 2009: You have to stop telling yourself you can't live without him. You had something fun and now it's over. When you are 16 and 17, you are not in love. In a few months, you'll be on to someone else.
It hurts. I remember how it felt to be that age... (read in full...)
Arguing with my friend is leaving us hurt!
Q. Right, this is going to sound INCREDIBLY boring and immature, and this situation is something I don't normally find myself in however, recently I have been intangled into a very immature situation. Since about April I've been talking to a fri...
A. 15 September 2009: You're right. It sounds immature and stupid. She may have demanded a lot from you, but it sounds like you demanded a lot from her. You have an abnormal dependence on her and it is my experience that when things (all relationships) burn hard an... (read in full...)
How to get him to chose me over his ex?
Q. hi there! i have a problem with this guy who two months ago broke up with his girlfriend. the thing is that i was with with him for three months before that(our break up was a mutual agreement) girl (he was with her for 10 months) and i saw him ...
A. 15 September 2009: You didn't ask how to be happy. You asked how to get your ex to choose you over his other ex. I'm not sure if you think we can answer that by saying buy a certain type of lipstick that works for all of us when we are in that predicament, or ... (read in full...)
What should I do when he comes back from his 2 month holiday?
Q. I like this guy who gets back from a 2 month holiday tomorrow. I'm really nervous about seeing him again! We've stayed in vague contact while he was away, just the occasional short email. We'd been on a couple of dates before he went away with some ...
A. 15 September 2009: Don't think so much about it. The fact that you've dated him, kissed him, held hands and kept in touch over the holiday is a sure clue you like him. You can send him a short email welcoming him home and that you hope he arrived safely. Inv... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for taking him back? Or should I just ignore what people say and continue to work things out with my ex?
Q. After a break up with my ex we started to try and work things out, going for dates etc, and things seem to be going well. However a lot of people have commented that im stupid for taking him back as a lot of things have gone wrong with our ...
A. 15 September 2009: I don't know anything about this guy, but here are a few thoughts I have on the matter that may help clarify things in your own head. 1) Going back with an ex doesn't usually work out. If it failed the first time, it will fail the second ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel she see's right through me...
Q. I just wish she loved me. We've been together for 7 years and have 2 children. I love her, in love with her, she isn't. It's reaching obsession point now and I'm craving affection and her love. I want to marry her but she won't marry me. I adore her ...
A. 15 September 2009: I presume the "seeing right through" is he feels invisible, not that she can see through something he's done wrong. It's very possible this woman is not interested in you anymore and she just hasn't taken the steps to leave you. Whether it is t... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he's still friends with his rebound girl?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago over an argument about one of his female friends. Nothing was going on with them but he was lying to me about seeing her and I had had enough. He swore he had no feelings for her. 3 days after we broke u...
A. 15 September 2009: Your feelings are completely natural and not an over-reaction.
He knows how you feel about this, or he would not have chosen to engage in a relationship with her while on a break with you "to hurt you". It is obvious that (while he prefers ... (read in full...)
Flirting with me and yet found out she has a boyfriend
Q. okay. i am a 30 year old male. a few months ago i started going to the library to study for school a few days per week. this went on for a while. while i was going, a girl that works there started being really friendly with me. i could tell she was ...
A. 14 September 2009: The security guard may also like her and not want to compete with you.
As Frank B. Kermit says, in the future, always be direct.
It is far sexier. Even if you are rejected, you'll have planted a seed.... (read in full...)
In love with my best friend’s fiancé, what can I do?
Q. Here is my problem; I’ve fallen in love with my best friend’s fiancé. I’ll try to give you a little background about the situation. I’m currently a 22 year-old college student, during my freshmen year I meet a lot of new people, including my now ...
A. 14 September 2009: She said she had feelings, but did she say she was willing to leave her boyfriend for you? It might have been easier to say she felt the same way because you were going to be leaving soon anyway. And if she did, would you be ok with her being h... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he's still friends with his rebound girl?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago over an argument about one of his female friends. Nothing was going on with them but he was lying to me about seeing her and I had had enough. He swore he had no feelings for her. 3 days after we broke u...
A. 14 September 2009: I think that his choice to hurt you by getting involved with this girl shows that he, too, understands how you must be feeling. Let's pretend that he really doesn't have feelings for her. She obviously has them for him and he obviously prefer... (read in full...)
Does the gorgeous boy I like actually like me now that he has noticed me?
Q. I was at a party the other night and there was this boy there from my school who is 2 years above me. I have always thought he was gorgeous but he never seemed to recognise me. But at the party he was looking and flirting with me all night, heres ...
A. 14 September 2009: Let him approach you. If you see him in the halls, pretend you don't. If you accidentally make eye contact, give him a small smile and act busy. If he contacts you again, you will know he likes you. Be friendly and approachable but not desperat... (read in full...)
She ended our 3 year relationship because of an old crush, who won't even go out with a girl!
Q. I'm 21, have been dating my girl best friend who is bisexual for almost 3 years. I'm in love with her. She always seems to be very good and loyal to me. All of the sudden, she told me that she still likes this one girl whom she had a crush on in 8th ...
A. 14 September 2009: I feel for you, but your friends are right. She obviously has some things to work out and needs space. When you are 18 - 21, a three year relationship is an eternity. However, it is unlikely that these relationships last. Even those who marry ... (read in full...)
Should I go to Las Vegas with my Brother in Law who is getting divorced?
Q. My husband's brother and his wife announced their divorce which will be final in early 2006. My BIL is somewhat of a loner and has no one to really talk to. We've always been friends for as long as I've been married to my husband (over 20 years) and ...
A. 14 September 2009: Let's pretend that you are going with your husband's SISTER and even though you are in Las Vegas (Sin City), it really can be viewed more easily as a platonic friendship....
... for your VERY GOOD FRIEND'S sake, do you think your soon-to-... (read in full...)
Should I call him to confirm the date or should I wait for his call?
Q. I had a very nice date last Friday with a man I met online. He bought my dinner, so I texted him the next day (Saturday) to say thank you and that I had a great time. In his text reply, he said we should get together again soon and after ...
A. 14 September 2009: Oh - the other writers are right. It's only Monday. (Where did my internal calendar go?)
In this case I would just wait. Your "Thank you text" was fine, but no other contact from you until you hear from him.
If you don't hear from him by... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much - a blowjob whilst driving?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have benn married for 20 years, 2 great kids. I love my wife very much, but I want more when it comes to sex and foreplay. When it comes to iniating sex, it is always me who iniates, and I feel like when we do have sometype of sex,...
A. 14 September 2009: I am also going to look at the bigger picture.
Enhancing physical intimacy in a marriage is a wonderful idea at anytime. However there does need to be compromise from both of you.
Do not become too fixated on any particular area and ask for... (read in full...)
He watches porn more than having sex with me, and then lies about it!
Q. (It's long, but please read the whole thing before giving advice so you understand everything. Thanks :-D) First off, I want to say, I do not have a problem with porn as long as it's not an addiction. I believe porn can be healthy for a relationsh...
A. 14 September 2009: Porn is not your enemy.
Try and see it this way.
If he views porn and decides he isn't going to be stimulated, he can close the window or turn off the DVD and no one's feelings are hurt. No one is going to think it is a reflection of ho... (read in full...)
I have not seen this person in 5 years and it is completely crazy that I ever would want to see him again.
Q. When I was 21 years old I met someone who has somehow preoccupied my thoughts for the last 8 years. This person is confusing and hateful but has everything someone like me could ever want though I am sure many would say he is out of my league. I ...
A. 14 September 2009: You've had an infatuation with an Ideal for 5 years. No one could live up to that, not even him.... (read in full...)
I can't cope alone
Q. To make a long story short: I regrett my decision on becoming pregnant. It's been four years now and I continue to suffer my regrett. I am a single mother, went through abandonment when my child was six months old...how could he? Went through a ...
A. 14 September 2009: Sugarbuns said a lot of right things in her post and more kindly than I might have said them.
I would add that your son DOES know he is not wanted. He rebels and is unruly because you constantly seek your mother's help, and he senses your tru... (read in full...)
Why is it the woman who has to initiate the communication?
Q. Hi Why is it in relationships....99% of the times, it is the woman who has to inititate the communication. It is said that men are different from women..they are not as emotional and don't spend half the amount of time as we wommen do, dwellin...
A. 14 September 2009: As a woman, I do not find that women inititate all contact. Sometimes, when a person (male or female) is not in as regular communication, it means they have entered into a busy period in their lives. Since you are no longer a couple, he doesn... (read in full...)
Is there a more subtle way to get the conversation going than just walking right up to him?
Q. How do I talk to this guy i don't know in the year above? we don't share any classes but we walk home the same way from school. I'm a bit shy so I don't want to just walk up to him and say hi, so is there a more subtle way to get conversation ...
A. 14 September 2009: Usually you have to be in the vicinity and have something to talk about.
Is he involved in any extra caricular activities? Could you simply say in passing, "Great job on ....!"
It is an easy comment to make in passing and doesn't require ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried by the little white lies or focus on the bigger picture?
Q. I have been in a long term relationship for nearly 6 years. We live together and generally have a healthy relationship. We spend quality time together, travel a lot together and also have our own circles of friends. To the outside eye, it would seem ...
A. 14 September 2009: Usually "white lies" are part of the bigger picture, but I am not saying that is the case here..
You do not think he is cheating, or wants to, and feel secure in his love for you.
How is that you know he gets texts from other girls? Are you ... (read in full...)
Should I call him to confirm the date or should I wait for his call?
Q. I had a very nice date last Friday with a man I met online. He bought my dinner, so I texted him the next day (Saturday) to say thank you and that I had a great time. In his text reply, he said we should get together again soon and after ...
A. 14 September 2009: There is nothing wrong with confirming a possible date.
Be friendly and light. You might need to know if you are free to accept an invitation to make other plans with your girlfriends.
If he doesn't respond by a reasonable time, go ahead a... (read in full...)
He called off our wedding, should I give him time to clear his head, or is he stringing me along?
Q. My fiance broke up with me 3 months before our wedding. He said 90% of our 3yr relationship is great but there was this 10% of uncertainty. He left the country for 1 month to 'sort out his thoughts'. When he came back,started calling and told me ...
A. 14 September 2009: You should be frank with him about the letter from the colleague. I'm sure he cares about you, but is it enough? It doesn't sound like it is enough for you right now, and I don’t blame you. You have been more patient than most would be. This ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my fiancee before I go to Iraq?
Q. so i suppose i'm here because im just at the end of my rope. i recently got out of boot camp and just got notice that i am going to iraq next week on tuesday. and i am aware i will be a different person if i make it back home . so i want to know, ...
A. 14 September 2009: She'll worry anyway. Not being yours would make it worse. She agreed to marry you while you were in boot camp. I suspect she's up for the wait and considers you well worth it. ... (read in full...)
Why did he deliberately have unprotected sex with me when he knew I could get pregnant?
Q. My ex (father to my daughter) and I have cultivated a friendship or so I thought after fourteen years of separation. As consenting adults we were involved in consensual intercourse. However, he purposely came inside me knowing I can get pregnant. ...
A. 14 September 2009: He already answered you as to why. What I want to know is why you are having unprotected sex with any one you aren't committed to. Did you think you were the only one? Did you think that while he was off NOT getting to know his daughter, he... (read in full...)
I put so much effort into her because I love her! Should I push through this pain a bit longer?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with this girl for about 2 years already. I love her to death. I have changed my ways for her to make her happy. My everyday is to make sure she smiles and laughs but at the same time im hurting. I am afraid to talk t...
A. 14 September 2009: Relationships always require work, but that work is only successful if BOTH PARTIES make the same commitment and put in the same work.
I would have been outraged had you gone through my phone; however you did so because you felt you may find evi... (read in full...)
What to do when you have given it your all
Q. I am a 35yr old women who has always wanted nothing but happiness and I am a true beliver of that god answer all questions but you first have to give him your all. I have prayed for a good man and the whole nine yards so I thought the only way to ...
A. 14 September 2009: I'm confused. Are you asking about whether or not to stay with the man who has no money but joins you at church or are you asking if you should have helped the crackhead? Are they the same man? Maybe it doesn't matter. When we take good car... (read in full...)
Should I get outside my marriage what my husband won't give?
Q. I am 30 years old and am married to a 38 year old truck driver. We have been for 3 years, my husband is not the type that tells me he loves me and he can go without sex with me for weeks. He does not pay any attention to me even after he has been ...
A. 14 September 2009: I've never seen anyone on this website actually recommend cheating on someone. Presuming you've read some of the posts prior to typing one of your own, I think you already know what we will all say on the matter. As parents, we have a responsib... (read in full...)
I left my shy, dull wife for a wildcat. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster!
Q. Left my wife of 15 years because we grew apart and it seemed like we just wanted different things in life. The thing is, my wife has always been painfully shy. Always hates crowds, or parties or bars. I live for the crowds and the parties and the ...
A. 14 September 2009: Here are a couple of really radical ideas: 1) Maybe NEITHER of them is for you, and you should look for someone new who is the best of both? Think about it… There are actually women who are loyal, caring, respectful, daring, bold, sexy, ... (read in full...)
He's using his pet name for me with other women too
Q. My b/f has a sweet little nickname he's always called me by but lately, I've caught him calling other women by my little pet name and it hurts my feelings because I thought it was something special reserved only for me. The first time he did it, I ...
A. 14 September 2009: I don't think there is anything major going on... certainly nothing you need to worry about.
I would agree that you need to make sure (without making light of it) that he knows you take this seriously. He doesn't need to share this opinion,... (read in full...)
Guy I dated just txt me a month after not talking to me
Q. Hi everyone, im just really confused about this guy i went out with a few times, just wanted some advice. So this guy ive known since highschool started talking to me on facebook. We talked for a few weeks and he asked me out for dinner. So i wen...
A. 14 September 2009: If we had a time-machine, I would recommend you follow Lexie88's example and not respond.
He was testing the waters. "Will she respond? Is this an avenue I can use for now, while I am bored and have nothing else going on?" And you responde... (read in full...)
He never says he loves me or does romantic things
Q. I am so discouraged. B/F of 4 years rarely makes me feel special or does romantic things. I've known him for a number of years before we got involved, so I know he's capable of doing sweet things for the other women he's been involved with, but for ...
A. 14 September 2009: I happen to agree with TastofIndia.
Men usually want to please their women. They may not always do so in the way women want, i.e. flowers or gifts or compliments. I often advise women to be clear about their expectations. Men (general... (read in full...)
How can I regain her trust especially now that the woman I cheated with is pregnant?
Q. Hello, I am asking this question so some of the viewers would reply, I met this girl in a bar one evening after having 4 long island, I ask her to meet me near the bathroom were it was private, she got up and walk back to the bathroom and I wa...
A. 14 September 2009: You aren't ready to be married to anyone.
Marriage is a partnership. When problems occur in life (and they always will), by your history you would seek out someone you "do not care as much about" rather than working towards solutions with tho... (read in full...)
We flirt when she's not around, and he likes me too!
Q. hi. i like my bffs boyfriend. WE always flirt when shes not around. i really like him and he says he likes me to...what should i do!!!!!...
A. 14 September 2009: Not only will you lose your so-called bff (let's say she's more of a best friend for now or "bffn"), but a number of shared friends will side with her and not you.
In the end, you MAY have this guy for a short while... but it will end badly.
... (read in full...)
Am I cold and heartless because I have stopped caring about everything?
Q. I don't care anymore, I have had a lot of misfortune in the last few months and have cried way too much. So now I just don't care if something bothers me I tell myself I don't care I know I do deep down but I refuse to let that feeling rise. I will ...
A. 11 September 2009: Sometimes we become emotionally exhausted. It's normal. Sometimes we go into "survival mode". We deal with the day-to-day without investing too much of our emotional selves. The fact that you asked that question means you are not cold ... (read in full...)
We broke up 8 months ago, but I can't move on
Q. Hey guys I broke up with the love of my life 8months ago but to me it still feels like yesterday. Recently I tried to move on and date other guys but I end up comparing them to him. Sometimes it feels like no one can ever replace him and the sad ...
A. 11 September 2009: It's ok to compare potential partners to past loves.
I would suggest you keep doing what you are doing. Some days will seem harder than others, but you'll get through it.
Don't give up.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He cheated on me. He doesn't know I cheated on him too. Should I tell him?
Q. My boyfriend has cheated on me twice and I've forgiven him both times because he came out and told me I didnt have to find out or any other immature things involved. While he was cheating on me I kinda felt that something was going on so I cheated ...
A. 11 September 2009: You would tell him to unload your bad feelings (guilt) onto him. You would transfer the bad feelings to him.
If you are both cheating on each other, I question the quality of this relationship.... (read in full...)
We went out for two days and then he dumped me. I can't stop crying!.
Q. I need help, I'm 15 in year 11 and there's this lad I like at school I havent been talking to him long, and we got together a couple of days ago, he dumped me last night, but I have never felt like this before. I havent stopped crying, I can't ...
A. 11 September 2009: Two days...? You are not in love.
Stop harassing the boy with texts and move on before you earn a reputation for being pathetic.
Break ups are hard, but I have always valued my reputation. As such, I take comfort in protecting it to... (read in full...)
She only wants me forever, but can I really trust her
Q. Ok, me and her have been together for the last 3 years but for some reason I have my doubts about her. Well, everything with us has always been great and we love each other to death and have had many great times, the only bad thing is it is a ...
A. 11 September 2009: This kiss happened two years ago and since then, nothing? I think she deserves your trust. Try to rememeber that if she'd said nothing about the kiss, you would never have known. She chose to be honest with you.
When she is paid attentio... (read in full...)
He is two years younger, should I give up because of the age gap?
Q. Omg plz plz help. I'm 15 and this boy I really really like is 14 but nearly 2 years younger than me. We've known each other for about 3 months now. At first we flirted and talked non-stop. When we went on a school residential we played truth or dare ...
A. 11 September 2009: I wouldn't let a good thing go because of a two-year age gap. You sound as though you've gotten on really well regardless of it.
Why don't you confess your feelings?
If you're too shy for that, then move on unless he makes a move.
Good lu... (read in full...)
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