He left me and says he doesnt' miss me, but his actions say other things? Which should I go by?
Q. My boyfriend of six months broke up with me. He told me not to worry because we'd always be friends. He was working in the next town over at the time and had planned on moving back but the break up just came back, got his stuff from his place and ...
A. 25 June 2010: Here's a first. I disagree with big ron. Anyone who agrees with me is a wise and mature human-being (joke). Actually, the fact that big ron can admit he still loves his ex, seems "in touch with his feelings" to me, but here I will contradict ... (read in full...)
Pictures of my girlfriend's chest are on another man's phone!
Q. What should I do. I have found out on a recent night out my long term girl friend allowed one of her friends boy friends to take pictures of her breasts? I only found this out when I read some messages he has been sending her on facebook about h...
A. 24 June 2010: Going through someone else's Facebook messages IS snooping and someone with "high morals" can recognize that. This does not equal his girlfriend's wrong by any means, but it is certainly snooping.
This needs to be stated because if we are usin... (read in full...)
If you were kissed by a man in the 'just friends' category... you would...?
Q. Girls, how would you react if your best male friend kissed you? As in we are both 26 and she does know I like her but on this day we were just driving and I suddenly pulled the car over, and she said "what are you doing", I said "this" and leaned ...
A. 24 June 2010: If she isn't ready for a long-term relationship, why are you pushing for one?
It is true that if she were repulsed by the idea of a romantic exchange with you, she would have pulled away. It is also true that if she loved and felt she needed y... (read in full...)
Should I trust him even though he's talking to his friend about having sex with other girls?
Q. i just found out my partner of 2years has been textin his work mate talkin about how he wants to have sex with some of the girls at work he said nothin has happened im reali confused because we have a daughter and i want to do whats best for her ...
A. 24 June 2010: It is inappropriate for him to have such discussions, but if these conversations are your only cause for concern, I would chalk it up to "male chatter." His friend talks about it and he wants to be one of the guys... doesn't want to be left out.
... (read in full...)
Is it scarier to be a Grieving Widow, or to know one?
Q. I am so confused by the behavior of certain men. My husband killed himself about 4 months ago and I have been trying to deal with this loss and helping to heal myself and my two young boys. What I do not understand is the way that certain men have...
A. 24 June 2010: It is NOT you. It IS them.
Well, if anyone has a right to feel scared, it's you. These men are lesser people than you and can not handle the burden of your understandable turmoil. Dismiss them as such.
You are a pillar of strength for you... (read in full...)
What am I not understanding here? She says I'm not supporting her but that my support is "just words"..
Q. Hi guys. Thanks for reading my post. Hope you guys can help me. Well, straight to the point. I had sex with my girlfriend. The last time when we did that was last week. I know by doing that, I have a risk impregnating my girlfriend since...
A. 24 June 2010: CaringGuy is a bright man and he is correct.
If this is one of those situations, however, where his scenario does not match yours, you can always ask how you can be more supportive to her.
She's young and apparently going through a lot, s... (read in full...)
He says we're good friends, but I feel invisible near him!
Q. This maybe long but i need to get it off my chest and put a stop to it. Me and my friend(a guy we'll call him Jay "not his real name" to save confusion) I dont know what to do. he says we;re good friends and all but honestly i try to talk to h...
A. 24 June 2010: I don't know... lots of girls are "sissies" about relationships, too.
I will say that it is POSSIBLE he really likes you. He is trying not to appear like he likes you and so gives others more attention that you.
He thought something may ha... (read in full...)
DearCupid has helped me with this online lover before and I need your help again!
Q. I met a guy on the Internet who lives in Sydney and am feeling unsure about his latest antics and am wondering whether things may be changing for the better or whether he is still out to exploit me for his own gain. I'm aware that I need to pro...
A. 24 June 2010: Is this a D/s (Dominance and submission) relationship?... (read in full...)
Pictures of my girlfriend's chest are on another man's phone!
Q. What should I do. I have found out on a recent night out my long term girl friend allowed one of her friends boy friends to take pictures of her breasts? I only found this out when I read some messages he has been sending her on facebook about h...
A. 24 June 2010: I didn't ask if she knows he has them. I asked if she knows that YOU KNOW he has them?
What she did (is doing) is wrong, but you snooped and "checked up on her". That is also wrong. Not equally wrong by any stetch of the imagination, but wron... (read in full...)
He left me and says he doesnt' miss me, but his actions say other things? Which should I go by?
Q. My boyfriend of six months broke up with me. He told me not to worry because we'd always be friends. He was working in the next town over at the time and had planned on moving back but the break up just came back, got his stuff from his place and ...
A. 24 June 2010: If we said he missed you, what would that give you? What would change for you?
He missed you well enough to notice you deleted him from facebook. Facebook doesn't notify people that they are no longer on someone's friend's list - you have to ... (read in full...)
Pictures of my girlfriend's chest are on another man's phone!
Q. What should I do. I have found out on a recent night out my long term girl friend allowed one of her friends boy friends to take pictures of her breasts? I only found this out when I read some messages he has been sending her on facebook about h...
A. 24 June 2010: That is inapporpriate. Before I can help I have some questions...
Have you called him up and asked him to delete them? Does his girlfriend know he has them?
Does your girlfriend know you know and does she know how you feel?
Why were you in... (read in full...)
Is this my baggage or am I right to be concerned?
Q. Im feeling very anxious in my current relationship. I have been with this girl about 2 years now and all can be pretty well in the main. We were both single before we met but had previous relationships in the past. We went through the conv...
A. 24 June 2010: You were devastated in a past relationship. Are YOU over the girl who hurt you? I presume the answer is yes….
Until you have CLEAR SIGNS that this girl has feelings for the man in the past; until he calls and she talks on the phone with him or t... (read in full...)
The romantic connection is lost and I'm distracted by my crush for his friend!
Q. Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have always been crazy in love with him. The past while he has become sort of complacent in the relationship and sort of like he is not as into me anymore and i have always tried talking to him ...
A. 24 June 2010: The "Disney Magic" CAN exist, it just doesn't happen by itself. We have a lot of responsibility in creating it for ourselves.
Yes... act like yourself. If you're holding back, it's hard to blame him for doing the same.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
I'm gay and love a straight friend. I'm in turmoil and need guidance!
Q. Hi, I'm a 14 (15 in like 2 days) year old boy from England. I know what everyone thinks... 14, way too young to be thinking about love, but read on. I'm gay. Not many people know, i've only told my older sister but i don't think my parents would...
A. 24 June 2010: Hugo95, I am so glad if anything I said helped. It probably didn't lessen any feelings of isolation you feel, but I have a very strong gut feeling that you will have a great life. You seem a wise person, despite your age... Enjoy your 15th ... (read in full...)
The romantic connection is lost and I'm distracted by my crush for his friend!
Q. Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have always been crazy in love with him. The past while he has become sort of complacent in the relationship and sort of like he is not as into me anymore and i have always tried talking to him ...
A. 23 June 2010: I agree with big ron... "well done on talking to him".
(winks at big ron)
However, there is nothing wrong with him asking for guidance. So, it doesn't fit with the Disney Princess ideal that "men who really love us know how to make us happy... (read in full...)
Does anyone have wise words regarding shattered confidence?
Q. I feel so rubbish and hope someone can cheer me up.. I have had an on-off relationship with a guy for about 5 years now. Our relationship has been very intense, but he always runs away and comes back again. We recently got back in touch again ...
A. 23 June 2010: Here is what you need to know.
1) He likes you, cares about you and thinks you are special. If he didn't he wouldn't keep coming back.
2) It will not work because you have different desires for a future. We know this because it has n... (read in full...)
I'm gay and love a straight friend. I'm in turmoil and need guidance!
Q. Hi, I'm a 14 (15 in like 2 days) year old boy from England. I know what everyone thinks... 14, way too young to be thinking about love, but read on. I'm gay. Not many people know, i've only told my older sister but i don't think my parents would...
A. 23 June 2010: I am not 14 and I do not recommend being blindly "courageous" here. This is not a standard boy/girl crush, in which case taking such a chance may not have adverse effects. In the case of a boy/girl crush, if said girl were your very close friend, ... (read in full...)
Wondering if my friend is mature enough to date?
Q. My very good friend, just turned an adult 18yrs. There is a girl with whom he has been going out with for some time now, but has finally decided that he wants to date her, and the two of them are in the same university. I'm concerned because ...
A. 23 June 2010: There isn't enough information here. We don't know why you would doubt his maturity.
Frankly, I don't see why it is any of your business whether he dates or not, unless you are questioning whether or not he should engage with this girl sexually... (read in full...)
Why do men look at other women?
Q. Why do married men--or any man for that matter--stare at other women when they want to be with you and they love you and all that stuff? Men are so confusing sometimes I'm surprised I have nerves left....
A. 23 June 2010: Hmmm... I presume some men look at other women because they think some of them are pretty and sometimes they look because they are looking at another couple or aren't even aware of the fact they are looking or why. I've never been bothered by it, ... (read in full...)
Why is the porn argument so one-sided?
Q. Why is it that when a woman is hurt by porn use it's always about why she should change herself to accept it and how it's her fault that it bothers her and how basically, it's all about the sacrifices she needs to make to accommodate him? Why is it ...
A. 23 June 2010: Wow. I shouldn’t be venturing near this "pro-porn/anti-porn bee's nest", but I do want to address the OP's question: 'Why is the porn debate so one-sided?"
If you are referring to this website, I can honestly say that it isn't.
Anytime anyon... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I killed his mother by standing up for myself!
Q. I have reached the limit in associating with my in-laws. After 30 years of taking abuse from them, I have decided that I have had enough and I am no longer putting myself at their disposal to allow them to continue treating me badly. I have sp...
A. 23 June 2010: You're awake, now. Big hugs and here's a large coffee... just be kind to yourself.
You more than deserve it.
Cheers.... (read in full...)
Twisted relationship...
Q. Twisted r/ship - I broke up with the father of my son an he got married, recently I got a new bf who has a galfriend, we visit each other but on the other side my former bf came back, not for good but he pays rent and fees, claiming that he will one ...
A. 22 June 2010: Hmmm.... Have you tried leaving the others and looking to either find a new boyfriend or having none at all for a while? Or, in other words, what is keeping you from doing that?... (read in full...)
I was telling him about past relationships and he got offended!
Q. i started getting along really well with this guy who i never thought i would. time passes and we got closer and closer and we started to develop feelings for each other. he told me about his feelings and i told him that i felt the same way so we ...
A. 22 June 2010: It's possible your past history changed the idea of you he'd formed in his head. I would tend to think that it is more about talking about past relationships on a first date is bad form, as is getting drunk and talking about your past and its ... (read in full...)
Divorcee, having a terrible time meeting a boyfriend. Please advise.
Q. I am hitting rock bottom once again. After a brutal divorce, I am having a terrible time meeting a boyfriend, that is the right match for me,. I am sad as I try to do everything right. I take great care of myself, I am fit, have a great job and ...
A. 22 June 2010: I apologize that this will be a long response. There is a VERY COMMON theme here, and I am hoping to reach as many people with a similar dilemma as possible.
The most common advice, as you seem to know, is to 'stop looking'. You say you have tri... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I killed his mother by standing up for myself!
Q. I have reached the limit in associating with my in-laws. After 30 years of taking abuse from them, I have decided that I have had enough and I am no longer putting myself at their disposal to allow them to continue treating me badly. I have sp...
A. 22 June 2010: TIP: The next time he throws a temper tantrum, shrug happily (you are happy because you make yourself happy) and go get your nails done. :-) ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I killed his mother by standing up for myself!
Q. I have reached the limit in associating with my in-laws. After 30 years of taking abuse from them, I have decided that I have had enough and I am no longer putting myself at their disposal to allow them to continue treating me badly. I have sp...
A. 22 June 2010: Your husband 'demanded'? I'm sorry, hun, but maybe you've been bullied for so long you can't see the forest for the trees.... Your husband 'screamed and ordered' you aren't to buy ice cream and deli meats for the kids?
You feel like you are goin... (read in full...)
I'm think my ex-husband is using me, but don't know how to break the cycle!
Q. I am really confused I need some advise. I got married and all was well, we have a 3yr old daughter and I realized my husband is cheating, even so after we spoke about it I forgave him but I do not think he changed. I am the breadwinner and he is ...
A. 17 June 2010: I would certainly be setting a deadline for him moving out. Your husband/ex-husband is a big, grown-up man and can take care of himself if he has to. He just hasn't had to and he won't have to while you provide for him.
Maybe he can mooch of... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I killed his mother by standing up for myself!
Q. I have reached the limit in associating with my in-laws. After 30 years of taking abuse from them, I have decided that I have had enough and I am no longer putting myself at their disposal to allow them to continue treating me badly. I have sp...
A. 17 June 2010: ** Your husband feels guilty. sorry :P... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I killed his mother by standing up for myself!
Q. I have reached the limit in associating with my in-laws. After 30 years of taking abuse from them, I have decided that I have had enough and I am no longer putting myself at their disposal to allow them to continue treating me badly. I have sp...
A. 17 June 2010: You are as patient as a saint. I would have left that husband years ago...
There is manipulation and there is bullying. You were the victim of bullying. It's just everyone else's tough luck if her only method to 'survive' was making your lif... (read in full...)
Help! My religious beliefs prevent pre-marital sex and my boyfriend's demands are so scary!
Q. hey The guy he loves me he is not from my country,,,well i luv him and he luv me alot he said 2 me he want 2 have sex with me and i was shocked because he knowing that i cant have sex before marry its forbidden in my religion then he said ok (i wi...
A. 17 June 2010: If the man wants you naked in a hotel room where you are to stay all night, it is so he can do his best to wear down your defences and pressure you to have sex. He has not taken 'no' for an answer, my friend.
If your initial reaction to what he ... (read in full...)
How can I turn down advances and maintain a friendship?
Q. Ok, this is a recurring problem, I meet someone from a website for an ambigious date/meet up/hook up to see how it does. Commonly, from very early on I've decided if I want to take it further or not, a bit of fun, friendship or something more ...
A. 17 June 2010: It is within your rights to be discerning of those you wish to see again for a second date. It is nice that you wish to maintain friendships with those you do not wish to pursue anything further with. Well, I should say it is nice only if you are ... (read in full...)
Am I terrible if I am secretly happy when my ex encounters a problem?
Q. Does feeling like this make me a bad person I feel so happy when my X gets a problem and feel very bad when he achieves something i hate how i feel..but its something that automatically comes about... however i dont show it to anybody that i f...
A. 17 June 2010: It’s normal to not enjoy it when an ex-love shows signs of happiness and success after a break-up. If you're terrible, then so are most of us.
These normal feelings are related to the grieving process which follows the end of a relation... (read in full...)
My brother in law wont stop pursuing me.
Q. My brother in law won't quit calling me texting me and facebooking me. We almost had sex one time and my sister walked in, no I don't want anything to do with him, but he woint leave me alone. I haven't answered anything from him, because I wouldn't ...
A. 17 June 2010: Changing a phone number and blocking someone from facebook is pretty easy to do and to figure out. Are you really here because you want to repair your relationship with your sister?... (read in full...)
Dating and don't know where to go to date!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for like a month and we haven't been on one date and I dont know what to do cuz when I try to suggest that we should go places he dont know where. please help....
A. 16 June 2010: CindyCares has made some additional suggestions which I find a lot of fun. I have a sneaking suspicion that if the OP took a look at the time she's already spent with this "bloke", she'll find she's been on dates already, even if they differ from ... (read in full...)
My brother in law wont stop pursuing me.
Q. My brother in law won't quit calling me texting me and facebooking me. We almost had sex one time and my sister walked in, no I don't want anything to do with him, but he woint leave me alone. I haven't answered anything from him, because I wouldn't ...
A. 16 June 2010: I had advice... but CaringGuy and Q have said all that needs to be said.
Good luck, OP.... (read in full...)
He lied and blew me off to take another girl to a fair. Should I forgive him?
Q. I found out my boyfriend lied to me. We had plans to go on a road trip together to visit a town that was having a fair. We almost broke up recently, so we're on rocky ground in our relationship. We are also currently on a break. Becasue of us being ...
A. 16 June 2010: Why is it up to him if you're together after the break? Why are you not evaluating whether or not you want to be with him?
Maybe there are differing rules about "breaks", but my understanding was that relationship "breaks" mean you are NOT toge... (read in full...)
Does he only want to help me or is he genuinely interested in me?
Q. There was a guy at a Christmas party. When my friends and I got there earlier than others, he immediately talked to me, asking about my hometown, my school and my year in college. I remember that he talked to me three times at the party and I don't ...
A. 16 June 2010: Well, its now June. Is this all that's happened since the Christmas party? Has he initiated contact on his own?
If not, then he might just be helpful and friendly.
Good luck! :-)... (read in full...)
Dating and don't know where to go to date!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for like a month and we haven't been on one date and I dont know what to do cuz when I try to suggest that we should go places he dont know where. please help....
A. 16 June 2010: What are you trying to say, Q? Are you trying to make a point about that time we watched paint dry?
Next time we decide to do something together, why don't YOU pick the activity then? :P (lol - joking, of course!)... (read in full...)
Is this a disaster waiting to happen?
Q. Two weeks ago I went out with my friend and the night before, she had met this guy. He asked her to hang out so he came later on in the night. I ended up hooking up with him, and felt really bad. But I really did like him.. which is the first ...
A. 16 June 2010: Yes. It is a disaster waiting to happen.
There is an additional obstacle keeping you from landing this guy in a more permanent (less drunken and random) way. Not only did you make it too easy for him, but he is also aware that you were willing ... (read in full...)
Dating and don't know where to go to date!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for like a month and we haven't been on one date and I dont know what to do cuz when I try to suggest that we should go places he dont know where. please help....
A. 16 June 2010: Where do you want to go? What do you think would be appropriate?
Why not make suggestions yourself, like, "Let's go to the movies on a date," instead of "Let's go on a date somewhere." "Okay, where?" "I don't know."
Other date options inc... (read in full...)
Is this worth sticking with?
Q. okay so i have a problem and need advice.. i met this guy about a month ago and we've been talking everyday and have hung out about 6 or 7 times .. hes brought me around his friends and has me over his house to meet his mom. now he knows im ...
A. 15 June 2010: If you are concerned you'll get your heart broken by sticking around, then its time to cool things off or you will get your heart broken.
He's already said he doesn't want anything serious and that whatever you are sharing (while I am sure it ... (read in full...)
My husband wants a three-some. Is that normal?
Q. My husband of 15 yrs and I always had great sex. Two years ago he made a statement that upset me. He said he wanted to have another woman join us because he has been with the same girl for 13 years. He says he loves me and just wants to add ...
A. 15 June 2010: lol @ birdynumnums! Great point.
I would not be concerned by his question. Its not every man's fantasy, but it certainly is one many of them share. The fact that he feels safe enough to discuss it with you is actually a good thing.
I would... (read in full...)
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