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I'm having my brother's baby and I'm worried

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I need serious help! Im pregnat and its my brothers. Im 2 months along and Im affraid of the outcome might be. This is my first pregnancy. We're both very young. I want to keep it because Im against abortions but at the same time I don't want to ruin my family. They would be absolutely upset if they found out. I can't risk breaking my mothers heart. Should I have an abortion??? What would the baby look like??? Would he/she be able to live a normal life???

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A female reader, Aunty Emily United Kingdom +, writes (25 September 2009):

I would speak to your doctor before you consider an abortion.Your doctor will not be allowed to tell your parents anything by law,and they are not supposed to judge people so don't be afraid to confide in him/her.If the sex was forced tell the doctor-they will be able to put you in touch with someone who can help.I wouldn't tell the rest of the family yet-decide what you are going to do first.please consider adoption as an option besides abortion.If you do decide to have an abortion or to have the baby adopted,consider the possibility of never telling your parents-tell the doctor the baby could be your brothers but you don't know,you had sex with someone else as well so either one could be the father-then you can get out of putting your brother on the birth certificate but your doctor will still be aware of the health risks.It will be incredably hard to keep the baby's paternity a secret from your parents for ever but to tell them would do a lot more harm than good-you would simply be clearing your conscience.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom + , writes (21 September 2009):

The first things I would do is speak to a doctor. Do not make any decisions on anything until you've spoken to a doctor. Nobody can make the choice to have an abortion but you, but a doctor will be able to explain to you health issues and such.

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A female reader, Lola1 Canada +, writes (21 September 2009):

Lola1 agony auntI would never recommend or urge someone to have an abortion.

I will urge you to speak to your doctor before abortion is not longer an issue and discuss what dangers there are in terms of health issues for this child.

You have more important concerns on your plate, than how horrified your mother will be, at the moment. That child may be faced with a number of health and mental (not to mention emotional) issues he/she may have to contend with. Are you prepared to raise a child with such issues? Do you think you will have family support? How easy will it be to have such a child adopted? Is it possible this child will grow up institutionalized?

Unfortunately, you deemed yourself mature enough to engage in sexual activity (regardless of who you engaged with). Now you must be mature enough to handle the consequences, and that includes the potential to face your family, especially if abortion is not an option for you.

Your first step, however, is to seek the advice of a medical professional who can tell you exactly what you may be dealing with better than anyone here.

Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009):

having your brothers baby would cause very serious family problems, also there are health risks involved for the child, seeing as you two are very closely related, (assuming he is your blood brother). you really need to talk with someone in confidence who can help you. if there is no one then go to your doctor and tell the truth.

what were you thinking having sex with your brother?

its your choice in the end, i go with not having it personally

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A female reader, Azure Rain United States +, writes (21 September 2009):

Is it your step-brother?

If it is you blood brother how old is he?If he is older he has minipulated u into doing this. Did you willingly participate in this sex act? Did he rape you? I hope not.

This is a hard question. I am against abortions but in your case i think it really might be a good idea especially if he is your blood brother. Babies who are born from related parents may have many types of birth defects. Your DNA just isn't made to match together. You are even a great risk for miscarriage.

I think you should see a doctor before you are too far in your pregnancy to get an abortion. If you are you should sit your parents down and tell them or write on paper and give it to them. You will cry and they will cry but you all(the brother included) need to see a conselor.

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A female reader, maggie212 Ireland +, writes (21 September 2009):

Do not have that baby it should not be there in the first place you will get over it. And for you and your brother please get help. maggie

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A female reader, HereAreMyTwoCents United States +, writes (21 September 2009):

HereAreMyTwoCents agony auntI'm not sure that, given the situation you have presented here, there is any good answer to give you. But if I was in your situation (although I cannot imagine ever getting myself in this situation unless I had a brother who tragically raped me and left me pregnant), I would get an abortion. People have abortions for far pettier reasons than the situation you are in. Also, if you have your brother's child there is the risk that this child will have certain health problems. Children who are a product of incest are at risk for greater health problems than children born of unrelated parents. This is a main reason why having children with closely related parents like siblings is considered a taboo across cultures. However, in the end only you can decide which choice would be less difficult to live with. You are truly in a very difficult situation at a very young age. By the way, there is also the option of having the child and giving it up for adoption.

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A male reader, jman25 United States +, writes (21 September 2009):

Isn't incest a felony in some states?

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