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My mom gave my boyfriend my underwear!

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been struggling with this for a few weeks now, since I started college. To start... let me just say that I have an overbearing, overprotective helicopter mother. One of my guy friends call her "mama Sikorsky".

Two weeks before I left for college I found a text message on my mom's phone to my boyfriend. She told him that she bought him a new T shirt to wear around to sweat up and get his male scent in it. She then wanted it back to give to me so I could sniff it while I am away at college. She actually said all of that to him! It gets even worse though! My mom also told him that she would give him a pair of my dirty panties to take with him so he could do the same. What the hell!

I read that and freaked out. Why the hell would my mom do this to me?! I am so embarrassed and I cannot look her or my boyfriend in the eye. I found a size large T shirt packed in a plastic bag in my suitcase and it does smell like my boyfriend's sweat. I do enjoy smelling it, especially when I masturbate, but come on!! I would rather he give it to me than my freakin', crazy ass mother! Does this mean he has my dirty panties?? What the hell! Do I confront her or him? Do I let this go? What else might she do some day? Uggggh!! Any suggestions??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009):

You have a whacky mother to say the least. I cannot imagine my girlfriend's mom giving me her panties to sniff. In any event what happened wasn't anything you did, so you should not be embarrassed.

As weird as it sounds your boyfriend went along with it. So... yes he is probably away at college sniffing your dirty panties. When he does so, he thinks of you. You said when you masturbate it makes you feel better. I'm sure sniffing your panties makes his masturbation better too.

So your mom actually did a good thing for both of you. I would let it go.

However, that is something that only an overbearing buttinsky mother would do.

All hail Mama Sikorsky!

Brilliant nickname by the way.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (17 September 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntDoes she raise and breed dogs, by any chance? I'm sorry, but you have got some great material for an article, if not a book. "mama Sikorsky"? Brilliant!

You are simply going to have to recognize that you have nothing to be embarassed about. It's all her. You can't control her.

"Mom. Stay out of my dirty laundry. That's disgusting. I don't want you ever doing anything like this ever again. Knock it off already." Then put your laundry under lock and key and don't ask her to wash your dirty clothes when you come home from college any more. Tell her you're auctioning her undies on ebay as a way to let her know how it feels.

You could try selling his shirt on ebay as well, to get even with your boyfriend for providing it to your mom. Worth a try, anyway. Or just wash it and mail it back to him with a note, "Nice try, but this is just too bizarre for me." Or keep it, as you seem to have done. Maybe mama Sikorsky knows best?

Please, please, please be sure to write down everything mama Sikorsky has done over the years. There is bound to be some great material in there!

Good luck with the mom-management.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009):

Is she single by any chance? , you need to have a conversation , that was inappropriate of her

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A female reader, Lola1 Canada +, writes (17 September 2009):

Lola1 agony auntI would certainly DISCUSS it with both of them, but see no need for a confrontation.

It looks as though she was trying to be helpful, although I agree it's pretty weird.

You admitted to embracing the t-shirt and enjoying it. The gesture couldn’t have offended you that much.

Simply explain to your boyfriend how you feel about it and that your mother's involvement sort of ruins the effect of the t-shirt for you (if you want – although I’m not sure that it has). That in the future, you would prefer that both he and you arrange such intimate exchanges, etc. You can also offer to trade back the t-shirt for the panties.

Then tell your mother that while you appreciate the gesture you find it inappropriate considering she is your mother and ask her to refrain from inserting herself in your intimate relationship with your boyfriend in the future.

Something that did not escape my attention was that you said you found a text on your mother’s phone. The only way you could have found that text is by LOOKING through your mother’s phone. This, too, is an invasion of privacy.

You and your mother should each start minding your own business. I have a feeling she may seem less over-bearing if you both gave each other some well-deserved space.

:S

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