Are any women actually trustworthy?
Q. I'm losing faith in humanity in general and myself in particular here. A little more than five weeks ago, my fiancée dumped me. I'm 25, she's 21, and we had been together for over 3 years, engaged for over one year. We were making good progress pl...
A. 29 October 2009: I met one of my best friends online. We tried dating, but it didn't work out. He and his wife are joining me and my boyfriend and a few other friends at my boyfriend's LakeHouse this November for my birthday.
The right connection for you will... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to go farther than I want
Q. my boyfriend wants more then just kissing..he gave me a hickey i didnt want it.... he is making me feel uncomfortable by touching me!!! and i told him to stop and he yells and says its like we are just friends nothing more... and he has slaped me ...
A. 8 October 2009: He didn't mind hurting you. You need to grow a back-bone and tell him it's over... unless you don't want it to be.
... (read in full...)
How serious should I take it when he says we are not having sex, we are making love?
Q. Ok aunts...this is tricky...im curious how far am i suppose to go when considering the words that are said during sex...i know some talk sh*t when making out and it's just apart of sex...but this guy told me we weren't having sex we were making ...
A. 6 October 2009: Why wonder? Does it really matter?
The time wasn't right before. It appears it may be now. Drop the "why not before?" questions and enjoy today, or you will risk spoiling it for both of you.
:-)... (read in full...)
How can I drop hints I might be pregnant
Q. how can i drop hints to my mam i might be pregnant because i think i am because i am late on my period and my stomach is growing also i am going to the loo alot please help i have no one i get home schooled and the nearest town is 50 miles away...
A. 6 October 2009: When you are feeling ill does she take you to the doctor? You are between the ages of 18 - 21. Can you not think of a way to go to the doctor or an excuse which would take you to town?
You have internet access, so you can't be that shut in. Do ... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 6 October 2009: Just because someone SEEMS to match our ideal, doesn't mean they are the one.
It takes time to grieve over lost loves; there is not specific time frame that works for everyone. You are in love with the girl you THOUGHT you had. In time, you will... (read in full...)
How do I bring up the subject without pressuring her?
Q. Hey fellow agony aunts! I'm in quite a dilema. Im 14 soon to be 15. My girl friend is 15 and we both have been together for a while. Like 8 months. We've done nothing sexual just innocent kisses and making out. But for a long time now i've been ...
A. 5 October 2009: I am certainly not going to be advising two people as young as you are about how to start engaging in sexual penetration. However, have you considered furthering the play in ways that involved exploring each other with your penis outside of your ... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 5 October 2009: I doubt you need to be mistreated to be happy. It is most likely you still aren't 100% over girl #1. Two months is not enough time to have a full emotionally intimate relationship with girl #2.
You are still in the discovery phase. Continue... (read in full...)
My boyfriends dad found my alcohol, how do I regain his trust?
Q. the other night i slept around my boyfriends house and brought a bottle of vodka with me the next day i forgot to take it home and my boyfriends dad found it and now hates me how can i regain his trust i know it was my fault but i dont know what to ...
A. 5 October 2009: What's the drinking age in the UK? In Canada (most provinces), its 19... If you are 18 - 21, which your profile suggests, I am inclined to think this father is over-reacting. But I don’t know his side of the story…Maybe he thinks his son has a ... (read in full...)
I had a bad accident, will women want to date me?
Q. I haven't dated in over 17 years and I don't want to be alone forever. I was nearly killed in a car accident when I was 24(I'm 41 now).I was a bodybuilder at the time,which doctors say probably saved my life.I was drunk(.33)4 times the limit....
A. 5 October 2009: Alcoholism is an escape. You drank because you were unhappy with yourself. You appear to still be unhappy with yourself.
Start slowly. Invest in yourself by joining clubs and groups where you are likely to socialize with like-minded people w... (read in full...)
How do I get past my shyness?
Q. Im Going out with a lad i really like, but im quite shy and i always keep hiding my face when he stares at me because i hate the way i look even though he says im pretty,, what can i do to stop me from being shy?...
A. 5 October 2009: It takes practise. Personally, I don't like it when people stare too long. It gets creepy. Presuming he isn't doing the "creepy-stare", you'll move beyond it in time. The best way to start is to fake it.
Pretend you are not uncomfor... (read in full...)
Neighbours husband caught me on video with his wife. Now he wants a threesome!
Q. I have been married 6 years and have 2 kids, one is almost 2 and the other is 4 years old. My wife has been too tired to have sex for more than 8 months now and I finally gave into my urges. It was a hot Sunday afternoon two weeks ago and I ...
A. 5 October 2009: Oops!
You might try to get him to clarify his position. Does he actually intend to black mail you, or did you misunderstand his meaning?
If his intention is to blackmail you, your best bet is to confess to your wife before he gets to you. Th... (read in full...)
How can I drop hints I might be pregnant
Q. how can i drop hints to my mam i might be pregnant because i think i am because i am late on my period and my stomach is growing also i am going to the loo alot please help i have no one i get home schooled and the nearest town is 50 miles away...
A. 5 October 2009: Before you do anything, try and get to a pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. It would be awful to tell her you may be pregnant only to find out that you are not. Is there a doctor near you? You can find out with them as well and they have ... (read in full...)
Once we had sex he changed.Does he see me as nothing?
Q. Okay there is this guy that I really like. If you've read one of my similar posts I stated that he was ignoring me. I gave my virginity to him and afterwards he started ignoring me. I told him that I really liked him but he doesn't want to hear it. ...
A. 5 October 2009: Yes, sweetie. You are a smart and beautiful girl and deserve to be treated much better than "Bub" over there treated you. If you go back to him - even for just sex - he will think less of you than he does now and will learn it is ok to treat you ... (read in full...)
What can I do to solve my depression?
Q. i think im really depressed, my parents are divorced, i have no friends who live any were near me, im anti social, and feel down all the time. can you recomend anything i can do?...
A. 5 October 2009: While you are discussing your feelings with people who are around you and can help, start looking at life differently.
We depress our feelings of sadness, loneliness and anger when we don't feel like we can cope with them. We dig ourselve... (read in full...)
I can't read this guy! He wants to marry me by the 2nd date!
Q. Hi I'm in quite a situation and it's my own fault so it's ok if you tell me I messed up cause I know. Anyway here's the problem I just met this guy from Mexico and I asked him out we went on 2 dates and he says he loves me. I slept with him the ...
A. 5 October 2009: RUN! This could be a citizenship issue or it could be that this guy is a wack-job.
Either way... run. ;-)
Good luck.
... (read in full...)
How serious should I take it when he says we are not having sex, we are making love?
Q. Ok aunts...this is tricky...im curious how far am i suppose to go when considering the words that are said during sex...i know some talk sh*t when making out and it's just apart of sex...but this guy told me we weren't having sex we were making ...
A. 5 October 2009: NEVER read anything into what a guy says during or after sex, like Ask Oldersister says.
And as for what he wants now, I think if he calls you and wants to go on a date in a timely manner (not just meeting up for sex), that will tell you what he ... (read in full...)
Are either of us looking for more than friendship?
Q. broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago. We lived together and it ended badly. It hurt a lot for both of us and he went away to France with work so we never spoke to each other. On Friday I had to e-mail him to say his post was still coming, ...
A. 5 October 2009: It is next to impossible to know for any of us. We can only wager the same guesses you will. He may be looking for comfort and familiarity while he is in a stressful time in his life and until I knew for sure, if I were in your shoes, that is how ... (read in full...)
This married man has really got me confused big time.
Q. No moral judgements please it's to late for that. 30yrs ago i met a married man we had a 3yr affair,i moved away that ended it. now 6yrs ago we catch up again and we have started this all over again,he is still married i am not,the thing is i have a...
A. 5 October 2009: My dear confused friend, I am going to be as gentle as I can, but I need to be blunt to answer your question.
Women are not from Venus and men are not from Mars. We are not as different from each other as so many people have been taught t... (read in full...)
My mum doesn't like my boyfriend, how can I explain it to her so she will let me get back with him?
Q. Well, I Was with this boy before but my uncle went and told lies about him to my mam so my mam started not to like him, when i broke up with him i cant stop thinking of him i really want him back but i just dont know how to explain it to my mam so ...
A. 5 October 2009: I am inclined to question myself why you are so certain the boy is not 18, as you are unsure of his age yourself.
However, I often believe that open and honest communication is pretty much the only way to go. You can encourage your mother t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to go farther than I want
Q. my boyfriend wants more then just kissing..he gave me a hickey i didnt want it.... he is making me feel uncomfortable by touching me!!! and i told him to stop and he yells and says its like we are just friends nothing more... and he has slaped me ...
A. 5 October 2009: The statement below reading, "You will want to be sure he doesn’t brag about it to his friends (ruin your reputation); that he makes you feel that having sex is/has and will always be an extension of the physical intimacy you already share," should ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to go farther than I want
Q. my boyfriend wants more then just kissing..he gave me a hickey i didnt want it.... he is making me feel uncomfortable by touching me!!! and i told him to stop and he yells and says its like we are just friends nothing more... and he has slaped me ...
A. 5 October 2009: You are right to feel proud of your virginity. Sexual Intimacy is, as I am always saying, BEST when it is an amplification or manifestation of the Emotional Intimacy you are already sharing with the special person in your life. It does “keep” a ... (read in full...)
My mum doesn't like my boyfriend, how can I explain it to her so she will let me get back with him?
Q. Well, I Was with this boy before but my uncle went and told lies about him to my mam so my mam started not to like him, when i broke up with him i cant stop thinking of him i really want him back but i just dont know how to explain it to my mam so ...
A. 5 October 2009: How do you know they were lies?
It's hard to help because we don't know what the "lies" were and what the truth of them are.
... (read in full...)
Help! More period problems...
Q. Hello. I'm a girl of 15. I got my first period back when I was 10 (10 and a half years old actually) but still they don't come regularly. I get my period once in 1 and half or 2 months, sometimes even 2 and a half. Is it ok for it to still be irreg...
A. 2 October 2009: I would speak to my family doctor. You are probably fine, but there are ways to regulate a period. Yours sounds abnormal (doesn't mean there is anything wrong), so if I were you, I would be looking for ways to regulate it.... (read in full...)
Hate spending time with boyfriend.
Q. I'm really confused I've been alone for so long,and have been so unhappy.I finally meet a really great guy,and its all going wrong. At first when I thought he didnt like me, i found him really attractive. We started seeing each other as just ...
A. 2 October 2009: "i love that he's my boyfreind".
I think you love having a boyfriend. This boy is probably very nice and you enjoy him, but you aren't attracted to him anymore. You are forcing yourself to be with him.
It's time to let him go and see what els... (read in full...)
Do you think a man who lies about watching porn will lie about other things?
Q. Do you think the man who lie about watching porn can lie about other things? I have never thought that my husband lie until I married him. We were in different country before we got married, I knew he was watching porn because he had no women ba...
A. 2 October 2009: This clarification softens my opinion a bit. It is possible that he has a porn addiction, but it isn’t something I know a whole lot about. Speak to a family doctor, go on the birth control pill and ask about porn addictions; get a referral to find ... (read in full...)
Strange imagination for self pleasure
Q. Dear cupid i love my girlfriend and have good sex life but am addicted to strange masterbation techniques.just wondered if it was normal or should i stop. I often put on womens panties (wifes or her mothers(40)and rub my self against the bed in a...
A. 2 October 2009: I agree with softtouchmale. You may hear people say "tut tut!" This is freaky, weird, gross, bla bla... but I live in the big city and there are stranger kinks than yours, my friend. Would you be surprised to hear you aren't even the only one who ... (read in full...)
How do I NOT creep him out?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for only about 2 months, but I have known him for about... 8-9 months. I have always liked him since I met him, I want to tell him i love him, but I don't want to creep him out or anything. I know that I love him ...
A. 2 October 2009: I second that.... (read in full...)
I miss him so much
Q. hi i was really good friends with this boy in my class and we used to have fun hanging out tgether. We were reasonably close for about a month but then suddenly on monday, i went to school and i felt like he was cold shouldering me. I thought it...
A. 2 October 2009: You like him. I knew THAT from the get-go.
Move on. Leave him behind. Don't act desperate.... (read in full...)
She's upset but still talking to me what do I do now?
Q. So here's the thing. When you make your girlfriend or wife mad, and even after you've talked it out, she still is upset, what's the best way to handle that situation? Being affectionate or lovey is obviously not the way to go, and I know that sayi...
A. 2 October 2009: Hmmm... I feel for you, my friend. However, it is hard to understand how with so little information.
She's could either be pouting stubbornly, or her feelings are hurt and she needs time to assimilate it and your apology. If you feel like div... (read in full...)
Going to have sex on 10/31 and have lots of first time questions
Q. hey i am 16 and i have a few questions about sex...what is it like?????? does it hurt???? what is lube??? can he hurt me down there?????? what can get me in the mood???? how can i get an orgasam??? what does it mean to come??? plz help me out here i ...
A. 2 October 2009: My first time hurt a lot. Don't expect an orgasm the first time. You may need to practice on yourself a lot before you can have that with someone else.
Bring your own condoms and accept no excuse for not wearing them.
I'd suggest you reco... (read in full...)
How long are you supposed to help your adult children?
Q. I wonder how long you are suppose to help your adult children? My children are all over 20, but they don't seem to make it out there. We are keep helping them, but they don't seem to get stronger from this.I know people who are supporting their 50...
A. 2 October 2009: I would like to echo OldGuy's answer. He hit the nail on the head.
If it helps you to do "what must be done", remind yourself that your job as a parent is not just to provide your children the tools to survive in this world, but to THRIVE i... (read in full...)
How do I tell this guy that I love him?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I have been crushing on this guy for about a year now, and I believe it may even be love at, well, second sight. We're really good friends now and he seems to be flirting with me a lot. I don't want to sound like another obsessed ...
A. 2 October 2009: Saying "I love you" makes you SOUND like an obsessed teenage girl. It will completely creep him out. As the others have WISELY advised, DO NOT DO THAT!!!!!!!
That eyes dilating crap is... sad to say.. crap. :( Pupils do not react to emotions... (read in full...)
Is it more common for a guy to text a girl he likes, before bed, or after school?
Q. I go to an all-girl school, and the only way to go to homecoming is to be asked by a boy at the all-guy's school right next door. My friends set me up with one of their guy friends that I'd never met so that we could all go as a group. He was ...
A. 2 October 2009: Every guy has his own style. My boyfriend and I are in contact every night before bed. When we can't make that contact, we usually try to text or email each other in the morning.
Sounds cheesy and corny and mushy (all the things that make me ... (read in full...)
Where can we go, where we don't have to spend money? Any suggestions?
Q. To simplify -this is a conversation I have ALOT with my girlfriend: ME: I don't feel like staying in the apartment tonight, let's go out someplace and do something. GF: I don't have any money. ME: We don't have to spend money - we can just...
A. 2 October 2009: It’s easier if you want to spend only a little money. You can sit on a patio sipping coffees (or indulge in sharing of a piece of cake) and watch the city go by, go to the park and buy ice cream, for example.
However, spending no money is not i... (read in full...)
How do I stop taking out my anger on the wrong people?
Q. Well, over the last month I have been through a lot. And after my dad telling my he doesn't want me in his life, me deciding my life would be better if I just forgot about him, and my dad not telling me that my great grandma died and having to find ...
A. 2 October 2009: Your anger needs to be directed at your father. He is the source of the anger and until its dealt with you will either remain angry or you will turn that anger inward (that leads to depression).
Having said this, I do not mean go egg his house or... (read in full...)
Negative pregnancy test so why no period?
Q. i know your probably going to think 'oh another typical teenage pregnancy' but i really need to speak to someone for a bit of advice. me and my boyfriend have been together now for 11 and a half months, im seventeen although he is 25, my mum doesn...
A. 2 October 2009: There are always other reasons for periods not to stick a schedule. Stress can be a factor. You can always try a second pregnancy test to be sure. While I am sure they are all relatively accurate, mistakes can happen and if you get two negatives, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't acknowledge my hurt feelings!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over two years now. Last week, he left to go out of town. We made plans earlier in the day to see each other that evening. As we were talking, he stated to me he was going to call me back. He ...
A. 2 October 2009: Thanks for clarifying, anonymous. It helps when trying to develop an informed opinion. :-)
I am only going to tell you how I would handle it.... you can take that information, pick it apart and take what is useful and abandon what is not to y... (read in full...)
Should I confront my girlfriend about her behaviour with other men or just believe that she is telling the truth?
Q. i always find my girlfriend in the act of relating with men claiming she's got nothing intimate with them and it hurts. what if she's telling these guys that i am just a figure around her that i pose no threat at all? I'm confused and wondering if i ...
A. 2 October 2009: Wow. Secrecy. In this case, I think you are being duped. I'm sorry. She's been crummy to you, whether things were innocent or not (and you and I know it is not innocent).
Good luck, my friend.... (read in full...)
Are any women actually trustworthy?
Q. I'm losing faith in humanity in general and myself in particular here. A little more than five weeks ago, my fiancée dumped me. I'm 25, she's 21, and we had been together for over 3 years, engaged for over one year. We were making good progress pl...
A. 2 October 2009: Yes! Here's to Q and his being him. (Raises a drink)
And here's to our friend, Illithid, who does NOT think all women are whores, and is dusting himself off and trying again.
Have a wonderful date. Take it one day at a time. Remain true ... (read in full...)
Is this age difference too big? And how do I overcome my shyness so I can date her?
Q. hello, well, there is this girl i like.....her name is emma( not actual) anyway....ive just turned 17 and shes 14 turning 15 early next year...the gap is about 2 years and a few months.....firstly is this gap to big? we have discussed it and agree ...
A. 2 October 2009: Nothing.. You've asked. The ball is in her court. If she is unsure, she must need time to think about it. She may be concerned about how your sister will feel.
Be prepared to be turned down.
However, you've taken a first step. Sometimes... (read in full...)
What would you do in this situation?
Q. Your gf/bf of 1.5 years had sex with his/her ex (multiple times) after a week and a half of being broken up. he/she really regrets it and wants you back. would you take him/her back?...
A. 1 October 2009: It's possible she was trying to comfort herself from the break up with you. She didn't cheat on you and was apparently honest about the sex.
If you want her, take her back. If you don't, then don't. But don't use that as an excuse.... (read in full...)
Is this age difference too big? And how do I overcome my shyness so I can date her?
Q. hello, well, there is this girl i like.....her name is emma( not actual) anyway....ive just turned 17 and shes 14 turning 15 early next year...the gap is about 2 years and a few months.....firstly is this gap to big? we have discussed it and agree ...
A. 1 October 2009: Wow. I hope not. My boyfriend is 24 years older than me.
Enjoy.... (read in full...)
I need help figuring out who the father of my baby is!
Q. My last LMP was August 15 2009 and my period is regularly at 30days interval. I had an affair Aug 20 and he cummed inside me twice. After that I got back with my hubby and we have promised to work on our problem with fast ejaculaton. So we worked on ...
A. 1 October 2009: My magic eight ball says, "Ask again later." However, I agree that while a DNA test is your only way of knowing for sure, it is most likely your husband is the father.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Should I confront my girlfriend about her behaviour with other men or just believe that she is telling the truth?
Q. i always find my girlfriend in the act of relating with men claiming she's got nothing intimate with them and it hurts. what if she's telling these guys that i am just a figure around her that i pose no threat at all? I'm confused and wondering if i ...
A. 1 October 2009: You should be more specific about how she relates to these men. No one can help you without those details.
:)... (read in full...)
He can't stand that I have a 'past' -- will every other guy be the same way?
Q. Are all men obsessed with their partner's past? My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. In the beginning everything was perfect, obviously. Until he asked about my past. It wasn't wild, I made out with some guys, had crushes on other...
A. 1 October 2009: Not all guys will care, but the next time you are asked, remember it's none of their business and you needn't disclose everything.... (read in full...)
Why does my husband feel the need to lie to me about silly little things?
Q. its been like 1 year for my marriage and now for few months i have come to my moms house for some work and i talk to my husband daily over phone and we chat online also but sometime he lies to me. Like, if i ask him what are you doing now he says ...
A. 1 October 2009: Wow. When he answers that he is doing nothing, it means "nothing worth discussing."
You sound suspicious. Like you're LOOKING for something to be upset about.
A better question would be: Why do you need him to disclose every mind-numbi... (read in full...)
Do you think a man who lies about watching porn will lie about other things?
Q. Do you think the man who lie about watching porn can lie about other things? I have never thought that my husband lie until I married him. We were in different country before we got married, I knew he was watching porn because he had no women ba...
A. 1 October 2009: People sometimes lie. That doesn't mean they will lie about everything. He is lying because he may feel ashamed or that you will not understand him, and clearly he would be right.
Someone may say, "You look great!" if they haven't seen you in a... (read in full...)
Are any women actually trustworthy?
Q. I'm losing faith in humanity in general and myself in particular here. A little more than five weeks ago, my fiancée dumped me. I'm 25, she's 21, and we had been together for over 3 years, engaged for over one year. We were making good progress pl...
A. 1 October 2009: My poor, broken-hearted friend... I will forgive the "are all women whores?" question because you are hurting. :-) No hard feelings, ok?
Yes, plenty of girls are honest, moral, Christian, slightly geeky and won't betray you. You have only dat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't acknowledge my hurt feelings!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over two years now. Last week, he left to go out of town. We made plans earlier in the day to see each other that evening. As we were talking, he stated to me he was going to call me back. He ...
A. 1 October 2009: It's unfortunate that he can't at least say, "I'm sorry you got hurt," but he may not wish to say that because he thinks you are over-reacting. Frankly you could be.
He was about to leave on a plane trip to go across country. Is it not possible... (read in full...)
I miss him so much
Q. hi i was really good friends with this boy in my class and we used to have fun hanging out tgether. We were reasonably close for about a month but then suddenly on monday, i went to school and i felt like he was cold shouldering me. I thought it...
A. 30 September 2009: 1) Email?
2) Phone Call?
3) Approach him in the hallways at school when he is not around his friends?
Why would he get angry with you?... (read in full...)
I miss him so much
Q. hi i was really good friends with this boy in my class and we used to have fun hanging out tgether. We were reasonably close for about a month but then suddenly on monday, i went to school and i felt like he was cold shouldering me. I thought it...
A. 30 September 2009: I am not sure if you read everything I wrote. You don't know he said you were desperate. You heard from someone else that he said it. You don't know what (if any) misunderstandings may have been involved.
Ultimately, you have two choices.... (read in full...)
I miss him so much
Q. hi i was really good friends with this boy in my class and we used to have fun hanging out tgether. We were reasonably close for about a month but then suddenly on monday, i went to school and i felt like he was cold shouldering me. I thought it...
A. 29 September 2009: CaringGuy is right.
One thing you should learn about school is that rumours are to be ignored; and I say that not caring how good the friend is who whispered it to you. They are not above mistakes.
In grade (grammar/primary) school in Canada... (read in full...)
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