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"He's single, he can do what he wants" I'm told. But in MY house with MY friend?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 December 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 December 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 20, he's 22. We dated for two years before I broke up with him. Very bad breakup because I ended up dating someone else soon after and he thinks I was cheating on him. I wasn't, he just got really hurt by everything. He has been totally miserable and hasn't dated anyone else. In the summer, I got back with him but we were not official. Saw him every couple weeks after I went back to school. About three weeks ago we stopped talking. He trying to see if I'd talk to him first, and I was doing the same. He's good friends with my brother and we have people over my house. He gets really drunk, still won't talk to me but ends up hooking up right in front of me with a girl that is my friend, but also a huge whore. She takes took off all her clothes in front of like ten guys, which is when I end up leaving and turns out he eventually has sex with this person who has been with at least 30 people besides him. I am totally disgusted with him and think he owes me an apology but other people have the attitude like "he's single he can do what he wants". Yes, true, but in my house, in front of me with my friend that's a slut? Not right. Also pissed at my so called friend as well. How would anyone handle this.

View related questions: broke up, drunk

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (3 December 2010):

LazyGuy agony auntSeems somebody doesn't get the point of having an EX. It means the relationship and all that comes with it is over.

He has moved on. Time for you to do the same.

You don't have to accept someone doing this in your house BUT in a general way, as you probably wouldn't accept this from any other person you are not involved with either.

But he is single and your ex. He can have sex with anyone. Are you upset about the sex in your house, because you still care or because you think that since he can't have you, he should forever remain single pining away? Why exactly are you that upset?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 December 2010):

Honeypie agony auntLook at it this way, He showed you jsut how LITTLE he actually care about you and unfortunately so did your friend the *friendly neighborhood skank*.

He is single, but honey, SO ARE YOU!

Time to move on.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (3 December 2010):

largentsgirl89 agony aunt1. I wouldn't care if he is friends with my brother, if he is in my house then either he leaves after he is too drunk to be around or he doesn't drink at my house.

2. Get rid of your "friend". Friends don't sleep with their friends' ex boyfriends, especially in their own house. That is beyond disgusting. Taking her clothes off in front of ten guys, hello shot of penicillin.

3. Don't leave your house because your friend who is a slut is taking off her clothes in front of your ex at your house. It's your house. Which means you can tell them to get out.

4. I wouldn't care if he is "single and he can do what he wants" yes he can do what he wants, but not in your house if it makes you uncomfortable. He wants to do what he wants, then fine, go do what he wants but somewhere where you don't have to be witness to it.

5. HE obviously doesn't respect you or your feelings and if he does then he has a really messed up way of showing that. But on the other hand he could be trying really hard to make you jealous and it seems like it's working (maybe not.)

6. Don't let people tell you what to do. IF you are uncomfortable with something, then let people know that. Regardless of the fact that he is single and can do what he wants.

I hope this helps you sweetie. We've all been there (at least I have) and it really sucks.

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2010):

kellyO agony auntHi there,

if i were in your shoes i wouldnt give this guy a single thought anymore. He apparently doesnt respect or care about you and he is not matured enough to be in a any relationship. As your friends says he is indeed single and he can do what he wants but without you.

Find yourself a nice respectable guy who will treat you as you deserve.

Many Hugs

Kelly

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