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Can I let this happen?

Tagged as: Age differences, Cheating, Family, Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 September 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have recently become really close with one of my mates mothers. She is a beautiful person inside and out. She is married with 6 children (3 live with her). We've become really close and we are both always there if the other needs us. Last night I went round to comfort her through a rough patch. We laughed and had a couple to drink. She knows from previous that I am openly bisexual. She has never been with a woman. We've always been close and have cuddles etc. Last night she confessed feeling for me and asked if I would feel uncomfortable if she kissed me. I had no issue with this and let it happen. I wouldn't allow anything more because 1. We'd been drinking. 2 . She's married. 3. She's never been with a woman. 4. I didn't want her to regret anything. And 5. It's my mates mum! I stopped her and said look we need to chat and I explained my stance despite me thinking the world of her nothing could happen that night. But she insisted that she wanted something to happen. I can't deny I wanted things to happen and she's adamant something more will one day, but I don't know if I should allow it to.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 September 2015):

Honeypie agony aunt1. We'd been drinking.

Starting something because alcohol is involved is never a good way.

2 . She's married.

Yes, staying away from married people (as a romance option) is ALWAYS smart.

3. She's never been with a woman.

Irrelevant.

4. I didn't want her to regret anything.

Irrelevant - SHE is a grown ASS woman ans should KNOW better. - however you shouldn't do something YOU might regret. And honestly, having sex with an older married woman who HAPPENS to be a friend's mom... is definitely something you could regret when other people (like your mate, other friend and your parents) finds out

And 5. It's my mates mum!

Again, no smart to start something with a friend's parent. Not only is it a bit weird, but it's also crossing some boundaries in friendships and in society.

ALL in all, SHE should have known better and never told you, never hit on you and definitely NOT be sitting drinking with you. If she is unhappy in her marriage - she needs to take action and responsibility for that not cheat on her husband with her CHILD'S friend.

IF she wants to destroy her family - let her do it without your help.

If you are looking for a GF or someone to foll around with, find someone who KNOWS what they want, who is single AND available. This woman... isn't. What she is ... is a VERY inappropriate adult.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (5 September 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntI don't think the onus is entirely you whether or not it should be allowed to happen. It's on the mother also, this is their child and relationship that is potentially going to get damaged.There is a bit of a taboo with hooking up a mates parent. Ok if they are ok with it but really, what are the chances of that?

If you both plan on keeping keeping it a secret, how long will that last before either of you are giving away subconscious suss behaviour. You have identified as bisexual so I think you have more to lose emotionally than her being bi curious because you are already attached to this woman,then what…she may then decide she's had her experimental fun and you are left with a broken heart and no friend. I can't see this ending well so my advice would be to move past it and don't be making yourself available to her vulnerability.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2015):

Look she is married with kids.You are one of her kids friends.Just ewwwww Do not do it.Your mate will hate you for it and you will be a homewrecker.I would never ever in a million years be with any of my adult kids friends ever.Even though they were all grown it is like being a child molester.Gross gross gross.Do you have mommy issues?Why would you want to be with someone old enough to be your mother?Are you underage?If you are that is much worse.Her first time with a woman should not ever be with you.Let her find someone else to help her destroy her family. It does not and should not be you.Act like the adult you should be and distance yourself from this woman for your mates sake.

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