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Why would he dance with me,call me ugly,then carry on dancing with me?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 September 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2015)
A female Barbados age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I saw this boy at a party and started dancing with him, he seemed enthusiastic enough and he even tried to kiss me then we went to get a drink and while we were at the bar he said your face is ugly-I thought I had misheard so I asked him to repeat himself about 4 times and that's definitely what he said. So I walked off and he came after me, grabbed me and kissed me and then started grinding on me again I kept saying I thought you said I was ugly but he just ignored me then he was asking if he could come to my house-wtf? I don't get why you'd call the girl ugly if you were trying to get laid...I could understand him dancing with me and then saying I was ugly and just walking off if he was a total a--hole but why say it and then come after me like that? I don't know if it was some sort of attempt at a joke or what. He didn't speak much English so I don't know if someone thought it would be funny to tell him to say that to girls and he didn't know what it meant...not to be big-headed but I'm actually a pretty girl and its not even like I was having a no makeup day or a skin breakout or anything lol

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 September 2015):

Honeypie agony auntEither he doesn't know your language well enough, or he is a complete idiot.

I wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter... I would definitely leave such a dude in the dust.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015):

Its me the op lol he was younger than me about 22 I just wondered if that's a thing now, randomly walking up to people and calling them ugly.i wasnt dancing with him after either he just grabbed me and started doing his thing until I pushed him away lol weird guy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015):

Why would you give the time of day to a guy who would walk up to you and say something like that? You had the option to walk away from him and ask him to leave you alone. Why did you let a guy who called you ugly even touch you in the first place?

It doesn't make sense that you even care what his motives are when he insulted you. You should have continued ignoring him and not let him use tactics to breakdown your self-esteem; in order to make you want to gain his approval. Thereby giving him the position of authority over your feelings. You're in your late twenties; and if he's in the same age group, he's not a boy. Perhaps mentally he is an adolescent; but you shouldn't allow men, or boys, to speak to you in any way they please. Display your indignation and ask them to bug off!!!

Is that a cultural acceptance, or is it just you?

I suggest you purge any further thought or consideration of that jerk from your mind. He planted a mental seed to attack your self-esteem, to bring you down to his level; and for that you should see him as ugly. Both mentally and physically. It's not you, it's he who is the ugly one! Stupid to boot! He's a drunken jerk! He was trying to tell you, don't think you're too good for him. Oh, but you are!

Don't take fools like that seriously.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015):

The question really is why they hell did you continue dancing with and kiss a guy who just said to your face you are ugly?! I think most people would have told them to do one!

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A female reader, Slippers  United Kingdom +, writes (5 September 2015):

In my opinion .. He was looking for a hook up .. He was being mean .. and nasty and if I were you I would wash that incident right outta my hair and move on sweetie ..

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (5 September 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntSorry but I can't make head or tales of such bizarre behaviour so my advice would be to shrug it off as just that. People get on just fine with an " Ugly" face (sarcasm) it ugly attitudes that like this turkey that are less fortunate.

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