A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've asked similar questions, but now there's more to it.So I lost my virginity to a guy who was a co-worker, at the time when I lost my virginity we were no longer co-workers because i had quit due to some family issues.I don't think it matters any but I was 20 and he was 25 I believe? (I'm 22 now and he should be 27 this month)Anyway so i met him a year before I lost my virginity to him. He would ask me sexual questions and well I answered them. Then he started asking for nude pictures, and I sent a few..I knew he had 2 kids and had a 3rd one on the way. There was issues between him and his girlfriend and well we had sex one night (well early morning) after he had been drinking. It wasn't actually how I wanted to lose my virginity but it happened and I couldn't take it back. I ended up moving out of state for a year and 4 months. We still talked for about 5/6 months and he would say how he wanted to have sex again and how he wished I was there and asked for nude pictures still (I don't actually know what he did with those but I never but my face in ANY picture I sent and nothing that could actually be identified as me) then one day I stopped texting him, i actually shut out like everyone from my life due to a family member that im so close with being diagnosed with an illness and I shut myself off from everyone. I tried texting him one day and I got asked "who is this", I didn't respond because in my head I was like okay he forgot all about me. Then I found out that he got a new number and didn't give it out to anyone (including his boss). Then a few months after I got told he had the number that I had for him again and how I should text him (I got told this by a mutual friend) I didn't text him because I was too scared.I moved back to where he lives and I've hung out with him at work as well as the boss (she's my cousin and wanted me to go hangout with them) and he's acted like we never stopped texting or talking, he talks to me and doesn't act like anything has changed. My question is, could him and I actually be friends? Or is he probably just going to want to have sex again and that's all it'll ever be?we haven't been alone so he hasn't said anything about what happened between us or anything like that yet.sorry for this being long
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at work, co-worker, cousin, lost my virginity, nude pictures, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 September 2015):
 YES... he just wants you for sex; NO... you and he can't be "friends"......
Good luck....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015): His interest in you is purely sexual. You supply him with material to masturbate with; and he otherwise has a girlfriend and three children. You don't mean anything particularly important to him. Except the fact you're willing to provide him with material he can use without "physically" cheating on his girlfriend; but he still does it mentally.
You don't want only to be friends. You want to be friends with benefits, someone on the side. You know sex is going to be a part of it. The fact you're willing to have sex with him, shows you don't respect boundaries; when it comes to guys who have girlfriends. You lost your virginity in a booty-call. That's what it all boils down to. Don't allow yourself to be used like that, my dear.
Don't let him bring you down to that level. Just a girl on the side; who gives him sex and a few naked pictures to get off on.
You deserve to have a guy who cares for you in every way. Available not just physically, but emotionally. You're settling for crumbs. Whatever he can throw at you when he can get away from his girlfriend. Boyfriends aren't for sharing.
Do yourself a favor. Find yourself a man of your own. Don't pretend you're in it for friendship when sex was how it all started. Take all or nothing. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (5 September 2015):
 You would be wise to stay away from this guy. He used you once and he'll do again if you allow him to. The only kind of "friend" he would want from you is a friends with benefits kind of arrangement. Why would you chose a man who cheats and has 3 kids? I'm afraid he looks at you as a side piece, something to have when he gets bored with the regular. Don't allow yourself to be treated in such a shabby manner. Stay clear of him and find a nice guy who will treat you like a lady.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (5 September 2015):
 He wants sex. He's been there and done that so why not try get a little more. Why do you want to be friends with someone who thinks nothing more of you than his potential bit of fluff on the side? Someone with ulterior motives is hardly what I would consider a friend. Steer clear and save yourself some heartache.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015): OP, you have no remorse for sleeping with a committed man who had a third baby on the way. Now are wondering if he wants to sleep with you again or he might want to be friends.OP, here's the real question. What do you want from him? Ultimately he can only sleep with you if you choose to sleep with him. So It's not about him and his intentions. It's about you and your intentions.Do try to put yourself in his partner's shoes while you decide what sort of friendship you want with this man.In the bigger picture, is hurting her family worth a quick tumble in the hay for you. Yes he might cheat with someone else if you decline but if everyone declined to be mistresses, then he would have to leave (set his partner free to find love with someone else) instead of holding on to the relationship under false pretenses which hurts everyone in the long run.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (5 September 2015):
 "my question is , could he and i actually be friends? or is he probably just going to want to have sex again and thats all it'll ever be?"
to make it short and simple, if he has a girl friend with kids. you are the thing on the side. if you are giving him sex, and that is what he is wanting and getting, he is satisfied for now.
the only way you will know if he wants you for more than sex is to not give in to sex and see if he continues to call, text, make contact with you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 September 2015):
 Awww please IP. I think you know the answer very well, nobody is THAT naive.
So the guy has been sexting you and asking you for nude pics ( and btw, I think that , if you "don't know what he did with these", you can imagine it pretty well! ) . Does this sound to you like the behaviour of someone who wants friendship ?? Why, when you want make friends hpeople, first thing you do is to get their nude pics ? Do you ask nude pics to the WOMEN you want to befriend ?... Did he sound like someone who could not wait to see you visiting him at home and sprnding time with his family, and having maybe a nice friendly cook out with all of them ??!
Look, the guy wanted to get laid- he got laid . Now, that you are back on the scene, it's very possible that he wants to get into your pants again ( particularly if you send off " I'm available " vibes ). Or else, maybe, he is not even particularly into that, and he is being civil and cordial because your being coworkers requires so, and because , in his mind, what happened between you is no big deal, there's no need to make a song and a dance about it and you both can carry on as if it never happeed.
Either way , he is a guy with a girlfriend- and a family. I am pretty sure he's got all the COUPLE friends he needs, people he can invite home and double date with- so , for your own good, just stop sniffing around him. You can be as civil too as the situation requires but, other than that, whether you are looking for sex or love or friendship,I am sure that if you look around you'll find that there are dozens of better options than him.
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