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I've been having sex with other men with my husband's consent. Anyone else been there, done that? Has it worked out for you?

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Question - (11 June 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been having sex with other men because it is a turn on for my husband and he wants me to do it. At first I thought that this was some kind of entrapment scheme he was getting me into but I soon found out he was serious. The first few encounters I had were a bit nerve racking but now I enjoy it and look forward to meeting my next partner. I have been doing this for about three years now. I have been with quite alot of men but I am totally into this and not ashamed at all. I have to admit my sex life is great. Oh, forgot to mention I do practice safe sex and condoms are a must. I would to hear from other men and women who are into this lifestyle and find out how it worked out for you.

View related questions: condom, sex life

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A male reader, Sheisworthit Canada +, writes (13 June 2014):

My ex and I had an open relationship and engaged in swinging, her idea not mine and it not only ruined that relationship but is also having a negative effect on me entering a new relationship.

Take some time to think about why you are doing this. Someone who loves you shouldn't get enjoyment out of sharing you with guys who are only using your body to get off.

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A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (12 June 2014):

Caring Aunty A agony auntIt worked out well for my friends who entered the Swingers lifestyle for reasons of their own in their mid-30’s… I think it was more for therapeutic reasons and a bit of adventure, knowing their background.

Today they’re just a regular couple committed to each other (as they were before) going about their business with a saucy secret; totally unscathed by their experience… Mind you they only did it for a short period of time, (not 3 years) and perhaps that is the key - before things can become more bizarrely complicated!?

CAA

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (12 June 2014):

Intrigued3000 agony auntI have no experience in this lifestyle, but I know two couples who were swingers. Both marriages ended in divorce. In both situations, one person fell in love with one of the lovers. As soon as an emotional attachment set in, the marriage started going downhill.

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A female reader, Brokenv Canada +, writes (12 June 2014):

Is your husband sleeping with other woman....are you ok if he wanted to be with other woman. What if you husband told you to stop and he was going to continue.....

I think it will end up hurting you all in the end.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (12 June 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntSwinging ruined my last marriage. Now my new husband and I do not share.

I know of many marriages ruined by letting others into your bed. Three others off the top of my head without even thinking of others.... I know of a few marriages that are very very long term and work fine in the lifestyle but the honest truth is they are all middle aged couples and have been swingers since before you were born.

If it works for you and your spouse that's great.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2014):

It's all fun and games now. But what if he's just grooming you for something else? Have you ever thought about what's really in it for him. He might want to see other women himself or worse will ask you to see disgusting old men so he can make money off of you. This is no joke and exactly what happened to me. It was so gradual that it seemed okay to me at the time and normal.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2014):

Personally, I have no experience with it, but it ended in divorce for my neighbours. It lasted about 8 years before it finally broke them, but they were both doing it with consent.

I would suggest getting a legal contract drawn up and signed stating that this was all consensual, so your husband couldn't use it against you in the case of divorce, should it ruin your relationship.

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