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Are gold diggers happy?

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Question - (15 June 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 June 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am wondering this because just recently at work we found out that one of the most beautiful girls at work has started going out with one of our managers. In the 5 years I have worked at this place I have never noticed them flirting or laughing or really being close. He was married but a month after he divorced they started going out. Its wrong to assume that she's with him for his money but there seems to be so many factors pointing towards this. He shows off about the relationship she never mentions it,I still never notice any flirting between them only the odd whispering and looks. Its weird because she goes out of her way to flirt with others.

The main thing is he's quite a nasty person in my opinion, once he went round the office saying that I look like someone with down syndrome (even though he isnt good looking) and also said that one person in the office was mentally disabled thinking it was a joke. He also tries to get people fired and goes behind peoples backs to try and get them in trouble.He has no personality either he only talks about himself shows and never tries to converse. The weird thing was once everyone was out and everyone was talking about how horrible this guy is and the girl who's now going out with him was agreeing with everything.

The only reason I am asking this, is really because I hope its a money situation because otherwise she actually likes him for him. If that's the case I will lose hope in love. Also makes me think are they happy?

View related questions: at work, disabled, divorce, flirt, money

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2014):

She is a young girl.

He has just a bit of power over those around him. He acts like a total asshole about it.

Haven't you ever heard the saying "nice guys finish last"?

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (16 June 2014):

Intrigued3000 agony auntOne person's frog is another person's prince:)

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2014):

oldbag agony auntTo be fair, unless the manager is on an amazing salary, he aint that rich. He will have money to pay for his ex too which will lessen his income.

Perhaps this girl just plays it cool at work so as to be professional.

If I was a beautiful young girl merely after cash I would aim higher than my newly divorced manager.

SO maybe it is love, she may see all sorts of good things about him that he shows out of work. If HE sees her as a trophy then it's up to her if she stays or not.

Let them get on with it, love strikes in many places and you never know who you will fall for.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2014):

To answer your headline question, yes. I think gold diggers are plenty happy. They don't have a conscience, so they are perfectly content to leech off someone. (Someone with a conscience would never feel comfortable doing this).

They also have no problem going behind that person's back and having sex with people they are genuinely attracted to, so they still get their "needs" met even though they are with someone they don't truly want to be with. Because let's face it, often it is someone old enough to be their parent, someone with no personality (like you mentioned), or someone they just aren't attracted to. Money really IS the only thing keeping them around.

My questions to you regarding your last paragraph are, why do you care the reason she's with him? And why does she have such an impact on how you feel about love? Because she's "beautiful"? Would you let it impact you if you thought she was ugly? My guess is no. You wouldn't care in the least. So should women lose faith in love because some men care so much about a woman with no personality just because she's beautiful? Are YOU in love with her or rather her looks? She doesn't sound like much of a catch to me. She also doesn't speak for what all women want. Why would you be happier to know she's a gold digger? That would mean she's a user, so why would that be "better" in your mind than actually being in love with him? And if you DO have feelings for her, how is that any different than her having feelings for him? After all, they sound quite similar from what you described.

I'm sorry if I come off as harsh, I'm just trying to make you see you are blowing this way out of proportion. Just get out there, date other women, and don't worry about other peoples' relationships.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (16 June 2014):

CindyCares agony auntWhy would you lose hope in love ? If any , you should feel encouraged. It means that no matter how flawed, ugly, unpleasane, boring etc.etc. you may be... there will be always someone to think wow, great guy :).

The funny thing, it really works like this . half of the world, generally, can't even begin understanding the preferences and desires of the other half.

I've got plenty of friends coupled with men whom I personally would not touch with a barge pole... and they may have felt the same re. my partners.

So yes, it is also possible she genuinly likes him. Let's not always be so cynical :).

Of course we cannot know for sure, so maybe she is in it for the money, and he to show off a beautiful Gf. Can they be happy ?...

Define happiness. If happiness is being able to attain what counts most for you, then yes. She is after money, she wants money more than other stuff like true love , - she gets money , then she is happy.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (16 June 2014):

Anonymous 123 agony auntIn my opinion, any relationship that you get into for the purpose of gaining anything material or financial out of, can never be a truly happy, contented relationship. Its not selfless, its not from the heart-its from the head. And in that case, its not love, its a calculative business deal.

That's not to say that one doesn't look at the practicalities of life before committing to someone, but in cases where its obvious that someone is in it just for the benefits/title/being a trophy wife/money/house etc., the term "love" is just a farce.

Can such people be happy? Why not? They are quick to realize that love doesn't make the world go round, its money and a big fat bank account that does the trick. For them, money is more important than love and they leave their emotions behind and focus on securing their own lives.

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