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Has this instant connection got a future?

Tagged as: Crushes, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 September 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 September 2016)
A male United States age 41-50, *heeler writes:

Several years ago I started dog-sitting for a couple, grew close to their dogs, and eventually them.

I have since been through the death of one of the dogs, and the adoption of another.

More importantly, I have become rather close to the husband, who has Parkinson's. I stop by to check on him and bring lunch three days a week, and spend time with them on other occasions as well. A movie, painting project, etc.

I genuinely care about them.

Today, for the first time, I met his daughter. He has talked about her before, but I never really thought about her as someone I should meet or be interested in. I have never asked about her.

From the moment I saw her...

I just dropped by to drop off lunch for him, and she was only there because she decided to spend a few days with him in between returning to the States from Barcelona, Spain. She lives in Florida, we live in Mississippi.

I stayed and chatted for as long as I could before I had to return to work. Just before I left he mentioned they were going to see a movie tonight, so I said they should text me if they wanted to have me join.

He didn't text although I totally understand after stepping back and thinking about it.

We could not stop looking into each other's eyes. It was absolutely electric. It was like no one else existed. Since then I cannot stop thinking about her, and about the situation.

She lives in another state.

I help take care of him, and am close to both of them (the husband and wife).

I know how complicated it would be to even go have coffee with her while she is in town (for three days only). If we developed feelings for each other what would be the point, and what would happen if it didn't work out at any point.

On the other hand, I can't explain how intense my feelings are.

I got out of a three year, live-in relationship, eight months ago. She moved out. They also knew her, although only briefly. I haven't even been on a date, by my own choice, since then. I am self-employed, and I think a great catch. Not being conceited, just saying that I am in a great place to date someone and have a lot to offer.

What do I do?! I don't even know what step to take next. I just can't do NOTHING. I know she is trying to figure out the best way to handle this, if at all. I am sure her father means more than ANYTHING, in this situation (obviously).

I wouldn't take the time to come here, and write all of this, if it wasn't incredibly intense for me. I have given advice for years...and now I find myself with no answers.

I would greatly appreciate any advice.

View related questions: moved out, text

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (3 September 2016):

Intrigued3000 agony auntYou've got to take this chance and ask her out. Otherwise you will be living with the "what if" and "if only" for the rest of your life. The worst scenario is that she will say no but at least you will know that it was not meant to be. If she says yes...then then a new chapter in your life begins.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (3 September 2016):

Denizen agony auntIt's all about asking the right questions. Are you sure she feels the same as you? If so, how are you going to be together?

The stuff about the parents is irrelevant. You are only committed to them by your desire to help them - actually their dogs before them.

Make contact with her and see if you get the kind of response you hope for. Be practical. Can this work, or is it wishful thinking? If you think it can happen then make it so. Drop everything and go get her.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (3 September 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI say bite the bullet and ask her out for a coffee. If she turns you down, then you have your answer. If not . . . well, just see where it goes.

You have NOTHING to lose.

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