A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey can someone help me out? Gonna explain the story here sorry if its long.Im 20 years old. I live in a small town where they're aren't many bars and there are like 2 or three bars people go to. My boyfriend is a regular at one he's been going the last 5 years and he is very close with the owner as if they're family. I recently started going because I turned 19 a year ago (legal drinking age in canada, haha) and i started going to that bar and lets just say I've become pretty known their too. Not in a bad way i just go their often so i know most of the peopleI used to work at one of the other poplar bars but this bar was a little bit cheaper and trashier than the others so you would have like weird drunk people like some weird drug addicts too coming in. so i left, but lets just say i met some weird people working there. there was this one guy that i remembered, he used to come in, he was weird and was from brooklyn and acted all tough and what not he was like 50 or 55, man.. creepy, he would try and flirt but i was stern with old bozos.Went to the bar my Bf and i go to a lot about a week ago or like 5 days ago. That guy was there and he remembered me and started talking. He was really loaded and gone he even thought my name was Samantha (which it isn't) he was trying to take me home and my bf was right there and he was weird.I obviously wanst giving him attention. He did buy me a drink at the beginning because he was drunk and said he remembered me. he then proceeded after my bf left to like say oh ill treat you better than your man.I'll take u home I've done arrangements I'll give u $ this that, I laughed n told hikm i wasn't a hooker n i have a bf lol. Guess he got my # from someone from the bar n like the next day i got all these messages saying how i should hangout with him and saying like ill give u money.This that and i was at first like who is this and he's like this is sam? isn't it? I had no idea who this was and then i called to figure it out. Then he said it was him and i set him straight and told him I'm not a prostitue and he's crazy and hung up then before i could block him. He sent me a bunch of messages like saying how I'm a prostitue and how he is gonna tell my bf and "expose me" at the bar this that. I have the texts saved. then he apologized n i didn't reply then the next day kept snapping n doing the same thing.Then i blocked his # and he called me from No caller ID and then a different number that i had not recognized so i awnserd it and it was him. At this point i feel like if i go to the bar that i usually go to he'll be there because he lives upstairs from the bar.So its close.I'm scared he's going to go make lies and ruin my reputation. i am not a hooker ps but i don't like when people make up fake rumours especially like degrading like that. and my bf (now my ex we broke up for other reasons) i don't want him to go to the bar and be told all this stuff which isn't true.Then feel as if i was lying to him when i wasnt. The man apologized again and said he just wants to be friends this that (after i said i would call the cops for harassment then he said he would tell him I'm hooker ) ? but he is phsyco and I'm scared should i block his # and not answser the other numbers like how would i know if its him or should i just change my # completely and take some space from the barcan someone please give me advice, i kinda dontwanna go to the cops cause i don't want to make a huge ordeal but i want to be left alone… can someone give me some advice ? its late now gonna talk to my parents tomorrow about this my friends say to just block him or change my #.. i have anxiety and get paranoid a lot when i feel like people are trying to run my reputation, as would anybody.Realistically who is gonna listen to like a 55 year old crazy man? lol ?
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broke up, cheap, drunk, escort, flirt, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 June 2017):
 Change your number and be more careful who you give it to in future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2017): You're only 19 and the bar is really a bad place to go, considering the clientele. You can block every number you receive unidentified-calls from; but it helps when you don't pickup calls from numbers you don't recognize.
You're scared whether you pickup or not. So block the numbers.
Delete messages from strange numbers without opening them. Alert your parents. Tell the owner of the establishment that one of his or her patrons is harassing you. You may not be too welcome for stirring-up the attention from the police, because they just might be aching to shut the place down, if it's a local hangout for dreads.
The business can't afford complaints. He's a regular there, and he represents the scum they cater to. So if the bar is home to trouble-makers, it shouldn't be open. You really shouldn't be in that part of town anyway. Regardless of the shortage of bars or clubs. Drinking-age or not!
Maybe your boyfriend should take you out of town sometimes.
That guy is an old drunk, and he has his own f*cked-up reputation. I don't think he has enough credibility, or travels in circles of people that would have the right or class to judge you. Or anybody else. I think hanging-out at a bar like that might raise eyebrows anyway. Wouldn't you think?
I'm surprised your boyfriend and the proprietor of the bar haven't intervened and had a talk with him?
Worse comes to worse, take it to the police and show them the harassing messages and number of calls. If he goes as far as showing-up where you live; that's proof of stalking, and you can obtain a protection order. The heck with the bar, someone gave out your number. It shouldn't be that hard to narrow it down to who did that.
Changing your number is really the best thing to do in such situations.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (5 June 2017):
 Wow you really hate older people. Well that tends to be a self healing problem (in about 36 years I bet you will be 55)
But seriously you have gathered enough evidence to get a protection order. What he is doing is abusive and illegal. My advice would be to proceed with legal action.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 June 2017):
 1. get a new number - that way he can't call you again. Start with blocking the number see if that help, if not... get a new number.
2. I suggest you talk to friends/family about this so they KNOW it's going on, you might even want to consider calling the local police station and ASK how/what you can do to keep safe from this nutter.
3. even if you WERE a prostitute he has NO right to harass you.
4. Take a break from the bars. Simply "out of sight out of mind." I know it doesn't seem fair that you have to put your social life on hold but it might be the thing to do. OR IF you go out ALWAYS go with friends. DO NOT go alone.
5. ACCEPT that you CAN NOT control what HE does/says or thinks. ALL you CAN control is how you react to it. Which in my book means you DO NOT engage in ANY conversations or personal interactions with this man. IF you meet him while out with friends and he tries to talk to you, say in a LOUD voice:" GET AWAY from me CREEP!" Don't accept drinks or ANYTHING from him.
And lastly? SCREW HIM and whatever he says. Yes, I get that you are worried that someone might believe him, but those people who KNOW you and CARE about you KNOW it's a lie.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (5 June 2017):
 This man is banking on your fear. He thinks he can intimidate you to do whatever he wants. Scum bag! I really think you should file a report with the police. At least the report is there in case anything happens. Save all the texts and voice mails to show as evidence of harassment. Tell your parents and seek their advice and protection. I really think you should go to the police about this in case the situation escalates. He sounds like he's a stalker. If you have to go to the bar, take precautions and go with a buddy. If you see him at the bar, do not give this idiot one bit of attention. If he approaches you, tell him that you are going to scream if he comes anywhere near you, and scream if he tries to engage with you further. Let everyone know that he's a pervert who is harassing you. The last thing he wants is for everyone to know he's a pervert. Time to take back your power.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 June 2017):
 I wouldn't lose a second of sleep over this.
Like you said, he's a drunk, you have proof of you telling him to leave you alone. Block whatever number he calls from. If he continues, I'd take it to the police and press charges for harassment.
This man will not hinder your reputation. He's trying to manipulate you into what he wants you to do.
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