A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well ok once again there was these two guys I was talking to at the same time one guys name is Kyle and the others name is phashaud well me and phashaud been talking on and off for a while now and I've started to love him very much, now Kyle on the other hand I only like him there's no type of feelings. Anyways well I started talking to Kyle first. He asked for my number we started texting and calling eachother and hanging out a bit, but phashaud he just assumed we started talking again and I fell into and my love for him started growing bigger and bigger but I didn't realize how much I loved him until, one day they both found out about what I was doing so phashaud texted me and told me to choose I didn't reply back because I didn't know what to tell him so now I'm stuck with Kyle and I still love phashaud and he won't even look or speak to me, well he might look without me looking but it just hurts to know me and him might not ever speak I really miss him and I know his angry at me I didn't realize how much I loved him until that day he found out and we stopped talking. I just wanna know how do I get him to forgive me and come back to me cause I know his hurt and angry I'm to scared to text or call phashaud to let him know how I feel. Just please help me with this one):
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): Sounds like the problem is that you liked or gave the impression that you liked two guys at once. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with dating more than one person at a time, but there comes a time where those guys you are dating will want to know your intentions about how things will or will not move forward. No one wants to be led on thinking one thing when that's not really the case.I don't think there's anything wrong with a guy asking about those intentions and wanting to progress to an exclusive relationship. That being said, it sounds like Phashaud could have been a little more tactful about things rather than "telling you to choose" between them. What can I say; guys can feel jealous when there's competition too. I can see how he would think that by not answering him you had made your choice, and it wasn't him.An option may have been to say that it was a tough question and you needed some time to put your answer into words. I've actually used that one before and a reasonable person will be understanding of that.You shouldn't feel "stuck" with anyone. That's called settling. I'm on board with GrimmReality on that point.If you feel apprehensive about the situation, my advice is to talk to Phashaud (do it in person if at all possible) about how you feel towards him. Tell him that Kyle is a good friend, but that you don't have romantic feelings for him if that is truly how you feel. Explain how you didn't know how to answer his question on the spot like that. If he is still interested, then great. If not, then at least you have an answer.Next is the hard part. You have to tell Kyle what no one likes to hear; that he is a great friend, but you don't have those romantic feelings towards him (again, if that is truly how you feel).Just my two cents. Hope it helps.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (24 November 2013):
 Do yourself and both guys a favor and leave both of them be. You can learn a valuable lesson from this that part of being an adult is taking responsibility for our actions and you would be best served by moving forward without stringing people along. The end result is usually that people are hurt needlessly because of actions such as these.
Phashaud may forgive you,he may not...and that's up to him, not you. What disturbs me even more is when you said you are "Stuck" with Kyle that speaks volumes about your lack of maturity. I suggest you grow up a bit before undertaking any future relationships, for you are ill suited for one at this point in time.
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