A
female
age
36-40,
*tephi23
writes:where do i start, my partner of 3 years works away so only see him every 3 months which is hard we get on really really well we never argue. but suddenly i got an email of a girl saying oh i know ur boyfriend we got out for drinks together when im over in saudi. Then i find pictures on facebook of him his best friend n her he sed they were at someones house and she was there. he said his best friend is sleeping with her yet he has a long term girlfriend. i dont know what to think why email me but not his best friends girlfriend. he said he doesnt find her attractive in the slightest but is he sayin that to make me feel better. advice please is he lying to me xx
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female
reader, stephi23 +, writes (16 September 2010):
stephi23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni chose to support him working away e did ask how i felt about it 1st. i think partly it is abit of me feeling insecure so ur ryt but i think its cos we r so far away i do worry. i neva had any trust issues with him until this girl emailed me. ur ryt bout the drinkin but there on a british compound so they can do wot they like n they can drink on that compound. he has lots of girlfrends but jst this certain 1 is niggling at me. i think im reading too much in2 i think im tryin 2 dig 4 sum thin that isnt there so that i feel beta n i feel like im nt just paranoid if u get me....... xx
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (16 September 2010):
 I see nothing really suspisious about the e-mail. She said she met him for drinks in Saudi? If she is 16, I seriously doubt she can even drink. Secondly Saudi have some VERY strict rules about teen-agers, SPECIALLY females.
Even if she DID have drinks with him and his friend, I seem nothing "bad" in it.
I would NOT jump to conclusions and accuse him of anything.
Seems like you have some trust issues.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (16 September 2010):
 You are long distance, you can't be sure of anything....Case in point young lady:Just this past spring I met a woman Through Mafia Wars who came onto me on Facebook. Lived in Canada,(I'm in the U.S.) very pretty. Very stable(or so I thought). Talked a little seemed very nice,sent me photos of herself the very first time we talked(which I thought a little odd, but hey everyone is different). Over the course of about a month her behavior became somewhat erratic online. I mean we were not in any type of relationship(because really those type things are not relationships, they are just fantasy). First chink in the armor was when she blurted out one night in chat that she was "In the process" of breaking up with a BF. Upon further questioning it became apparent she had never met this guy face to face. But drama ensued as her actions became not consistent with her words to me. So I had enough of it and just told her that I felt it best if we didn't talk anymore because if she indeed had a BF she sure was acting like she was single and looking. so it was at that point she blurted out that she was currently married and had been for 13 years....I am just trying to say that someone you may like or even feel you love can tell you anything either on the phone, email or a chat but take it with a grain of salt. and if your gut is telling you something different, or if everything your BF is telling you all fits a little too nicely then I submit to you that the nicer the fit, the more that's afoot. Once again you can't be sure of anything at any time in a long distance relationship. In this technological age? no way...As I said...if something is wrong, FB will bring it out. They will slip up at some point. I just do not know if I would wait around. There is probably somebody in your town that would love to be nice to you.Good luck. and as always with my advice, take what you need and leave the rest, but I would be remiss if I didn't tell you straight up that in my opinion, your relationship with this guy will soon see it's last sunrise.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 International calling and texting is expensive, so Facebook is a free and popular way of keeping in touch. Wow, what did your boyfriend do for you to not trust him? You're looking way more into than you need to. Your jealousy and insecurities are getting the best of you. Stop it.
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A
female
reader, stephi23 +, writes (16 September 2010):
stephi23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i confronted him about it and e promised nothing had happened e also came off fb cos off the crap it caused with it. the thing is she is only 16 but looks alot older n is always on fb talkin bout diff boys shes with. all i can think is r they both doin her at the same time. evri mans fantasy. we have been doin the long distant thing for 2 years and it was going great. also if he was in contact with her would she not message n ring him when hes home xx
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (16 September 2010):
Unless there is complete trust and communication in a LDR they will never work. Speaking from experience they rarely do.Could be harmless but what is the point of her emailing you? Knowing you are far away and you don't see your BF very often....hmmmm (I could be wrong(don't think I am though) but that seems a bit unusual to me. Introducing yourself is one thing but when you know you can't see him everyday what is the point of the email? If the best friend is nailing her and he has a GF who is to say she isn't doing double dutyOnce again, LDR's rarely if ever work, because of issues. like this. Go with your Gut. what is it telling you?People who engage in deceptive behaviors usually trip up at some point, and FB is a real easy place to trip up at. Keep it to yourself right now but keep your eyes open. If there is something going on, FB will breing it out. Because places like that is where most people rise to their level of emotional incompetence
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
It doesn't raise any suspicion from me. I see it as her way of introducing herself to you, she's a pen pal, international friend so to speak. Why would she email the best friend's girlfriend when she's having relations with him? What could she possibly have to say? "Hi, you're boyfriend is cheating on you with me." The email is harmless, obviously your boyfriend has talked about you to her and she wanted to see if you're really as great as he says. Be friendly and email her back.
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