A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my bf and i only broke up a month ago and he already moved on and askin for some girl's fone number!! i couldnt believe this after everything we went through. I still cant seem to move on from him and still have strong feelings for him even though he hurt me and left me heartbroken. I'm not contacting him as my family have forbidden me, i know it probably that right thing to do but i cant help but want to talk to him and i still miss him. Is there anyway i can move on or something to get rid of the hurt? i've been through this before but never this bad i've been so depressed every since and even have considered ending everything. i feel like i'll never be able to get into another relationship again after this as i'm shy around guys but also cant seem to get anyone to ask me out from where i stay( as we were long distance) plus i dont like guys my age(i'm 16) i seem to be attracted to older guys(ex was 20) i'm in desperate need of advice
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broke up, depressed, heartbroken, long distance, move on, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanks for your advice and i know how you feel but am slowly getting better day by day. I would like to talk to you to so my profile on here is lil-angel182 so gives us a message and i'll talk to you :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I know exactly how you feel. Matter of fact, I came here to get advice on how to get over my ex. I am 15 and me and my ex went out for a year and 4 days. He dumped me over something retarded. My ex started talking to other girls two weeks after we broke up. I know how much it hurts girl. I feel as though I can never find anyone I love as much as I loved him. Here is some advice from me. Dont rush into things because it will hurt you and the rebound. Trust me. I tried it. I think it is just best for you to just wait for love to come to you. I hate being lonely too. Just be patient. We are young and there will be others. Trust me. I know it has to get better. Also, don't get your hopes up that yall will get back together. It will make the healing process harder on you. I know this sounds bad, but just expect the worst. That helps me not get crushed again. I would really like to talk to you about it because I am going through the same thing! Keep your head up!
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female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Honey... are you a "Glutten for Punishment?" If he hasn't called you yet... If I were you... I would just leave him alone and move on with your life. You said that he asked another girl for her phone number... maybe he is dating HER now.
But no how much advise everyone gives you, I know that you will follow your heart and do what you want. And if you do follow your heart, and contact him, and he hurts you...Remember to learn from it. That's what life is about... a continuous learning process. Some good experiences, & some hurtful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your advice, i've decided i'm going to talk to him one last time to see what he wants and if he wants to be friend then i'm telln him to leave me alone for awhile so i can move on then after that maybe we can be friends.u think this is a gd idea or should i just avoid him altogether?
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female
reader, Serinity +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Yes sweetie, I have an idea. Move on!!!! You're only setting yourself up for more heartache and the grieving process is only going to start all over again. He hurt you once already, shame on him. If he hurts you again shame on you. Your parents don't want you to see him because they've alredy seen the pain he's caused their little girl and as parents, when our children hurt we hurt. They are only trying to prevent this guy from breaking your heart again. You know something I've learned? If you don't learn from your mistakes they will happen again and again until you do. God bless!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah i know i thought it's weird and all that he would be tryin to make me jealous but we were going to get back together, only that my family wont let me till i'm older which caused loads of problems for me and him and he then decided no talkin ever again then he started talkin to me again 2 nights ago so i dont have a clue what is going through his mind at the moment, anyone got any ideas??
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Hi
Well, not meaning to be rude but whats his mate on about? Why would the guy be trying to make you jealous if he ended it? or rather, tries to get someone elses number already? I'm missing something there maybe. But you're definately better off saying ta ta and staying extremely strong and not giving him anymore of your time.
You say you 'wont get anyone else'? This is where you need to address things. Its way better to be on your own than with someone that treats you bad. And until you are able to love yourself a little more, you will keep making bad choices in men.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for your advice it has been helping, he now is talkin to me again jsut to tell me that he now movin to australia in a years time but i found out it actually for somegirl he supposedly in love with that lives there though he never seen her or talked to her before so doubt he will actually do it i mean he wouldnt even move 300miles to be near me plus dont think he got the guts to do it and leave everyone near him but we'll see what happens. part of me is like go go go and then the other is like stay here dont leave!! it confusing his mate thinks he just tryin to get me jealous and it workin but what to i do now?
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male
reader, the boss +, writes (5 January 2008):
I am sorry you are being hurt, It often happens, twice is even worse. You must feel so used. that is the trouble with modern morals. I was bought up a long time ago when my parents had been taught to respect each other. It took me a while to understand. I respect everybody as survivors. First you must respect yourself and others, and you know what it is to be hurt, so no learning is needed there, be more cautious realise that not everybody is as important as you. Realise that men at their worst are 10,000 sperm in hyperdrive looking for somewhere to lay their egg. Find a freind a true freind. A freind in need is a friend in deed do not stand for any rubbish. Tomorrow will be better than today. You have found a freind. Me. I may be old and gray but I know hurt. I am sorry about using the boss handle I was feeling very angry. Time is the only healer of mental problems.
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female
reader, chica_23 +, writes (5 January 2008):
its ok to wanna talk to him, but the only way the hurt is gonna go away is by removing yourself from his life completely for awhile. If hes already chasing other girls hes not worth a cry. Hang out with your friends find a new guy, and move on.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 January 2008):
 If you want to get over the hurt , you need to forgive him and bless him in your prayers.Once you do that, God will heal you of your hurts and pains. Do not keep any grudge or anger against him.This will hurt you more than him.Say your prayers for him and God will do the rest.
You may not forget him or the hurt but it will not bring anymore pains to you .I will pray for your healings.
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male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (4 January 2008):
 Sweetheart,
Don't even think about ending everything.
You will find that things will settle down emotionally for you.
It is somewhat like a severe injury. It may leave a gaping wound at the start and sometimes you need to have the wound stitched up.
Over time though, the wound heals. A scar will always be there but after a time the scar is un-important and is at least manageable.
What I am saying here is I have been in a situation like this. I nearly ended my life with a motorcycle in front of a train. At the last instant I laid the bike down and I then laid on the ground sobbing over a lost love. I still have the emotional scar and at times it is still a bit painful but it is tolerable.
Even though I have been happily married for 28 years and have a 26 Year old son and 22 year old daughter I still have painful memories.
In all this though I am so glad I had the presence of mind to lay the bike down. I have not had a bad family life. Some of us never go through this kind of thing. Others of us do. I have even worked in a nursing home where there were some who had tried to commit suicide for different reasons and were un-successful. The different ones had different attitudes but most of all they almost all had wished they had not made the attempt. They realized only after the fact that things were not as bad as they felt they were at the time.
A quote from the singer Tori Amos says; "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.”
Hang in there. Things will get better. Doc
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female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (4 January 2008):
I am 52 yrs old & Have had a lot of relationships & hurts in my life.
An Older Woman once told me... when I was your age, and was heart broken over a breakup, something that stuck with me through every heartbreak I have ever had, and it helped me be strong....
She said to me, " Honey, this may be your first boyfriend, but it won't be your last."
With Life, there will always hurts & trials that you will go through. I think of them as "Waves on an Ocean"... sometimes a big one comes along and you ride it for a while until it goes down.... then another one comes and you have to ride that one for a while too. But Girl... they always go down.
Ride this wave and take comfort that this too shall pass... until the next one.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Hey, i kinda know what your going through! Me and my ex split up 7 months ago n hes with someone else now and when we split up he was always out and seemed to be having such a laugh.. I used t think how can he get over me so quick when i didnt want t see anyone! I guess what im trying to say is people deal with things in different ways and if you and your x were quite serious then his new gf is probably rebound. The way your feeling is completley normal i was exact the same, and if im honest i still miss my x from time to time, but it really does get easier! Talking to him may be a bad idea (i figured that out) it can dent your self esteem n only feel worse! When you want to talk to him call a friend... I promise you will find someone else who deserves you, it happens when you least expect it and until then try and have fun.. Go out etc. I hope i helped gud luck x
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 January 2008):
Hi
This guy is an immature prick. Sorry to be so blunt but you have more maturity in your middle finger than he does anywhere in his whole body. You only just split and he is chasing someone elses number???? Twat. Thats what springs to mind. He is a playa, doesnt get attached to anyone, and isnt adult enough to have proper feelings for anyone. Thats not your fault. You just got caught up in it. I wish i could wrap my arms around you and make it all good but life isnt that simple. But even though it sounds crud, and a cliche, you really are so young and in the throws of youth! you will SO meet someone decent. Other people reading this will agree and know where i'm coming from. But you will! (rememeber i said that!)
Put that nose in the air of yours and rise above this girl, i mean it! You deserve so much better! Take it from an old girl!
You are gonna meet someone real nice soon. And all the time you were with this waste of space, that wasnt gonna happen!
Just be patient xxxxx
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reader, mattbea +, writes (4 January 2008):
 Im nearly 20 ;) ;) lol but I do find it best to totally forget about ex's, ex's are that status for a reason yea! try living life a bit more like go out and do things ya enjoy doing even without anybody, since I got with my ex I lost a lot of friends due to staying with her all the time, then it got to the stage that when i finished her due to making everybody think i was an alcoholic and psycho (which could stop me getting into the royal navy now!) lots more people stopped talking to me as I have that status now so I just have to hop along and just enjoy what I can... but Im not getting anywhere with girls and I Wouldnt say im bad looking at all just seems that way at the moment, ya always find somebody when ya not looking! thats what alot of people say too so just enjoy life and just forget about him seriously x
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female
reader, Serinity +, writes (4 January 2008):
Hey sweetie. I went through this at your age and I know how bad it hurts. He's a big a big idiot and he broke your heart, seems like it should be pretty easy to get over right? But I know it's not easy, it's never easy when you get your heart broken. What you need to realize is that you're young, there are plenty of other guys out there who would love to make you happy. You don't need to rush into another relationship to get over him. Take your time and be patient. In the mean time, surround yourself with friends and family, people who love and support you. I know it hurts now, but you'll look back on this one day and wish you would have never waisted so much time hurting and sulking over him. I got hurt so bad at your age that I thought I wanted to end it too. I took a bunch of pills and thankfully threw them up shortly after. Now I'm married to a man who loves me more than life itself and I have 2 beautiful children whom I adore. I dated after my big heartbreak but I didn't find my soulmate until I was 25 yrs. old. Trust me, no man is worth your self worth. Think of him as the loser here, not you. So lift up your head and pick up your heart. It's O.K. to grieve but don't waste too much time on that loser. Life is too short sweetie! Best Wishes love. You can message me if you'd like.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): hey
I understand where your coming from. You seem very young, so really, its better that this happens to you now, rather than later. I had the same thing happen to me recently, and I can tell you that you just cant allow yourself to get into relationships right away, as youre not going to really let yourself fall in love. Alot of people say, ¨it will help you get over your last love¨, but really, you just end up breaking a heart yourself.
Give yourself time, heal, grow spiritually- thats really important- and pretty soon, maybe in a couple years, you´ll meet the speacial one. But you must give yourself time. Your 16, think about college, your future, and your dreams- things will fall into place. Also, I should mention. The fact that your boyfriend isn´t inlove with you anymore is no reflection on you, and how speacial you are- its just that, for some reason, you two are not meant to be. Alot of people don´t believe in this destiny ¨thing¨ but trust me, its real. Learn medition-use this opportunity to become great!
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