A
female
age
51-59,
*oose tracker
writes:My sister was shocked after an 18 year relationship (12 yrs married)to find a hidden camera over the tub in their bathroom. We found it incredibly creepy for a husband to secretly watch his wife take a bath. Coincidentally, 2 days later my nephew (age 6)showed signs of sexual abuse. His father is an active alcoholic, pill junkie, and addicted to porn. She immediately fled the house, went to the authorities and was legally divorce within 6 months. She is in therapy and my nephew is in therapy. The problem is that we have been going out of our minds trying to figure out how to prove it. We have pages and pages of red flags. Authorities agree its a strong liklihood, but unless she saw it happen or if there was semen found nothing can be proved. My nephew admitted something happened, but won't say who did it. Her father-in-law was an out of control porn addict and alcoholic as well... See a pattern? I do not want to think he would do this to his child, but there are too many red flags. I need to mention that he suffers from chronic lying from having his brain so fried from substance abuse. He actually does not know that he is lying. How do we protect the child without breaking his father's rights that the court has given him because we do not have proof. The therapist is 99% positive that he was molested. My nephew has told my sister that all he thinks about is 'sucking weiners" and is obsessed with private areas. How is that possible at age 6? Nobobdy in our family talks like that or watches that stuff on TV.I cannot believe that this can happen after how careful we all were to keep him away from strangers.I would be willing to give more details to anyone who wants to hear them. My sister put the camera thing aside as she is more worried abut her son. We're now wondering if he was watching his son in the tub instead of her. Any thoughts or advice on this horrible situation?
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female
reader, Variety  +, writes (2 February 2008):
 The child has admitted something has happened to him. What if he tells you it was his daddy (make sure he is seeing someone qualified to deal with this...there are people who will be able to get more information out of him hopefully). If he does this and you want to prosecute then the child will have to relive all of his experiences in court which will be a frightening experience and may damage him even more. Worse still, there are very few convictions in cases such as this. Just a thought but you will have to tread carefully when reacting to this.
In the mean time get your sister to apply for full custody of her son and deny her ex-husband visitation rights. If he is that dependent on drugs then the case should not be too difficult to win. Then at least you know nothing further is going to happen.
Then think about what to do about the other stuff. It may be that he is better equipped to deal with this in a few years time or it may be that not sorting it now could damage him in the future.
It is such a hard situation to be in and I really feel for you. Please fell free to message me if you want to talk about anything more. x
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (2 February 2008):
 The sad fact is that in most cases it is not a stranger that is a molester but someone that is known by the family and often even a family member.
One question, is the therapist the boy is seeing a certified child psychologist?
They have methods which may help to identify the offender and at least make you better prepared to protect him from the offender.
You may also in this case better know where to focus your attention to find the proof you need.
I don't know if this helps but I truly do hope it does.
If you think I may be of further help please feel free to drop me a personal note and I will do whatever I can if anything. Doc
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A
male
reader, keith5 +, writes (2 February 2008):
 Whatever happen, i think she should make sure the father never gets to see him and take care of the boy and raise him properly
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