My ex boyfriend has just told me over instant messenger, that his mother is dying.
Q. My ex boyfriend has just told me over instant messenger, that his mother is dying. How should i deal with this. I don't want to sound callous, but i didnt really understand why he felt the need to tell me. We haven't spoken for over a year. ...
A. 16 June 2007: He is reaching out to you in his pain because he still feels a connection to you and needs your sympathy and support. Often when something is bad in our life we turn back to old loves. It is hard to say really why. Maybe for some validation. I know ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Call for new volunteer moderators (please read carefully)
Q. Hi, with the site getting busier all the time I'm looking for new volunteer moderators... PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY BEFORE RESPONDING! Moderators approve new questions, think up of interesting and accurate titles and approve/reject a...
A. 16 June 2007: You have lots of volunteers! You can add me to the list as a potential mod. I log on almost every day even if I dont respond to questions. I really enjoy this site!
~dee... (read in full...)
Should I get him a fathers day gift even though hes not the biological father ?
Q. hey. well im 15, i was 15 in march just gone and i have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world. ever. and i love him lots and lots. we have the sweetest most beautiful baby girl, who is just 6 weeks old named taylor and she is adorable. we ...
A. 14 June 2007: Sam IS Taylors Dad. Just because he didnt contribute the sperm that created her does not mean he is not her Dad. He is the one who takes care of her physically, finacially and emotionally. He is the one that loves her and takes care of her and the ... (read in full...)
Hooked up sex-wise with a guy on myspace... but it turns out he is married and has kids (his wife called me)!!!
Q. OKK, please dont label me as a homewrecker or a slut.. I recently got out of the army and i met this guy on myspace, i know pathetic, but he seemed really nice. In fact, he is better than nice, i think hes perfect(besides the whole cheating thing) ...
A. 13 June 2007: Break if off right away. He is a liar and cheater. He lied to you repeatedly, so you cant trust a word he says. He has lied to and cheated on his wife and children. He most likely wont leave her and if he does, he will only proceed to cheat on you.... (read in full...)
She wants to rebrand us as friends... will our 2 month travelling over summer be able to fix this?
Q. I had been going out with my girlfriend for 10 months. I am 26 and she has just turned 22. She had been on a university placement in a nearby country for most of this time and we made a point of seeing each other every 2-3 weeks. In addition, we ...
A. 13 June 2007: I am going to sound really mean here, but who is paying for this 2 months on a tropical beach? If it is you then I would say she MAY be using you. Why not stay friends if it gets you a 2 month free vacation? If you both are paying for the trip then ... (read in full...)
I'm 46 and have got together with my highschool sweetheart... but worry he's not the same man he was 25 years ago!
Q. I am 46 years old and in the process of having my marriage annulled. I met my high school boyfriend after our 25th reunion. His marriage is he claims on the rocks. We have been inseparable since 3 months ago. I had asked him where our ...
A. 13 June 2007: He ISNT the same man he was 25 years ago, and you are not the same women! You have both grown and changed and have many life experiences that have shaped who you now are. He may or may not be actually leaving his wife. It is hard to say from this. ... (read in full...)
Help! I don't know which one to choose?
Q. I have to make a choice between a crazy anime-obsessed girl my age who dropped out of high school and doesn't wear her shoes when she works behind the counter at Borders, and the valedictorian a year younger than me who is a little bit taller and ...
A. 12 June 2007: The answer is so very obviously the valedictorian. And that is not just because a valedictorian is eons better than a dropout. From the tone of your letter and the way you refer to them both it is obvious that that is where your heart lies. You just ... (read in full...)
Should I just accept this guy will be a primary friend in her life? Or is there more?
Q. Should I just accept this guy will be a primary friend in her life? Or is there more? Sorry for the length. My GF is recently divorced, I'm separated (my divorce final w/in 3 mos). We're both in our 40's. We dated back in high school/colleg...
A. 12 June 2007: I have to agree with Irish. I think she stated everything very well. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant but I have to see the ex bf, about making arrangements for the abortion. How should I handle this?
Q. In march my boyfriend and i broke up because it was too hard being apart after he transfered to another school, but up until then we had a great relationship. The week after we broke up, i found out he was seeing someone else, but only a week after ...
A. 9 June 2007: Your hormones are all out of whack due to the pregnancy which is hard enough to deal with, but you are also distraut over the breakup with this callous ass of a guy. You are an emotional wreck right now and understandably so. So forgive yourself ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should let him see the "real" me?
Q. i'm currently living and working in another country. I moved to another country for various reasons (travel, find myself etc...) I met a great guy. We have been "together" for almost 6 months, although we never have officially called each other bo...
A. 9 June 2007: Isnt that exactly the answer you wanted? That he didnt love you? You said you wanted a short term, just enjoying each others company kind of relationship and that is what you got. Are you insulted that he didnt fall in love with you so now you want ... (read in full...)
A past traumatic experience makes me dread my b'day! I need advice on how to cop!
Q. hi. im gonna go straight into my question n then i will explain. i am turning 15 tomorrow and i am dreading it because for the past 2 years i have been petrified of this one day!! last year i couldnt even bring my self to get out of bed and from ...
A. 9 June 2007: What happened is not your fault in the least. It is not because you were a tease, you werent 'ready' or because you deserved it for not giving him what he wanted. He had no right to take it. He raped you plain and simple, and his friend helped. It ... (read in full...)
She married to my Uncle and they're moving. What am I going to when she goes! I love her..what should I do?
Q. OK, to some of you this may sound like a real "Jerry Springer" moment, but in actual fact, iam going through hell in a hand basket at the moment. Ok, my question is what am i to do? Now u are thinking, do what? Well let me tell you, ive met a woma...
A. 9 June 2007: What you are going to do is be very sad for a while. She will leave and you will miss her. You may feel depressed or even despondant, but you will continue to take breaths, your heart will continue to beat and you will continue to live. Things will ... (read in full...)
Do I stick to my values of not wanting sex till I'm married or just give in?
Q. First of all, I sincerely hope that people take me seriously considering I am only 18. I have been through a lot recently, and I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me. The thing is that this is not the first boyfriend that has done that to me. ...
A. 8 June 2007: Yes, you should stick to your values. If a guy is going to cheat on you or leave you JUST because you wont have sex with him then he really wasnt worth hanging on to. And that goes for the days after you have lost your virginity, too. You may or may ... (read in full...)
I'm married but wanna have sex with the other women!
Q. I have just been married for six months to a woman who was my friend before and had quiet a few relationships which she knows some about. i was in luv with another girl and went out for three years until i broke it off after i found out that my ...
A. 7 June 2007: Let me get this straight. You were dating a woman that you were in love with for 3 years. You broke up with her when you found out that you had gotten another women (your friend by your terms) pregnant. So you were used to being a cheater and a ... (read in full...)
Ladies..... what do you think of nipple piercings on guys?
Q. honest opinions ladies - what do you think of nipple pearcings on men because I've just got mines done but I don't know what womens' opinions are on the matter?...
A. 7 June 2007: Yuck!!!... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and pregnant but don't know if I want this baby... I'm not ready to have kids yet.
Q. Hey, so im 6 month pregnant and getting a ban on my ex for abusing me, i feel real bad as if IM in the wrong for him abusing me? but as many people said he was putting my baby in danger, im thinking about letting him come to the next scan with me ...
A. 28 May 2007: Do not under any circumstances let an abusive boy back into your life. It is time to speak to adoption agencies to arrange for a family to adopt your child. There are so many wonderful people out there with the finacial and emotional resourses ... (read in full...)
Why is he playing games with me?
Q. I am writing once again - so sorry for doing this... My partner and I are seperating after 6 years. He has promised me that he will see me ok (IE buy me out of our home, so i can put a deposit on another) The thing is, it is going to take ar...
A. 28 May 2007: You must get a lawyer -NOW. If the home is in both your names you are ok. He cant sell or refinance without you. If it is in his name only and your 'contribution' was only paying for the addition, then he can screw you out of your share. He can ... (read in full...)
This is a question for the girls only!
Q. GIRLS ONLY-NO GUYS READ THIS PLEZ!! OK is it normal for a girl my age to have a bushy/hairy pussy and bigger boobs then girls older then me. my bf told me that if his _____ gets bushy er whatever then hes somehow ganna sh...
A. 28 May 2007: I was a very early bloomer, too. I had my first period and size B cup breasts at 10 years old. I was a C cup through high school and now am a DDD cup. It can be very hard being an early bloomer. You look so much older than what you are and the ... (read in full...)
Do I try to keep the relationship we have now, or end it completely
Q. Do I try to keep the relationship we have now, or end it completely? Hello. I have written everyone before for some advise, and the responces were great in helping me out. It has to do with the same woman. For those of you that don't know, I wa...
A. 28 May 2007: For the past year the two of you have been emailing and dating. Seeing each other on the weekends. During all that time she didnt once mention that she was seeing someone else also? She should have been honest with you the whole time, let you know ... (read in full...)
Gf told me to go find a 'sex' partner! Does she not love me and is she looking for an easier way out?
Q. I live with my gf. going out for 5yrs. No sex for 2yrs since we started living 2gether. have been to therapist. no help. she says it hurts-(physically). im 25 and cant take it anymore. too embarased to admit it to any1. A guy my age should be having ...
A. 28 May 2007: Yes, please keep us posted. I hope you can find the root of this problem and fix it because this has gone on for too long and is just not right. Good luck and I look forward to your next post! You can private email me if you would like.... (read in full...)
She cheated on me and left me for a player! I'm still in love with her. What can I do?
Q. Hi, Please help me, i was seeing a girl and we had some really special times together we really made a connection, i fell in love with her. However from word go there was another guy constantly on her case, he's the local desperado, he's ...
A. 25 May 2007: Excellant advice, bubbloo. As hard as it is, and I know it is hard, please try to take bubbloos advice. You are so much better than this lying, cheeting, tramp who played with your affections. It will take time, but someday you will look back and ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to be planning kids and marriage at the age of 18?
Q. I just turned 18 and my boyfriend is almost 21. We've been dating for almost 2 years. We keep talking about future plans to get married, have kids etc, and I really want to, but is it too soon to be thinking about those kinds of things?...
A. 25 May 2007: It is not too early to think about it and plan for it, it is just too early to actually DO it! I completely agree with Dr Pete, he put it all very well. Enjoy your youth, grow,learn, explore the world and yourselves and each other. Both of you will ... (read in full...)
Gf told me to go find a 'sex' partner! Does she not love me and is she looking for an easier way out?
Q. I live with my gf. going out for 5yrs. No sex for 2yrs since we started living 2gether. have been to therapist. no help. she says it hurts-(physically). im 25 and cant take it anymore. too embarased to admit it to any1. A guy my age should be having ...
A. 25 May 2007: You had sex for 3 years and there were no problems for her, no pain. Then you move in together and now sex is just too painful. Hmmmmm. I would think if there were truly a physical problem causing pain a quick trip to the ob/gyn would solve that ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the hormonal and family pressures to get married and have kids?
Q. I am thirty years old how and completed my Masters of architecture degree last year at 29. I have always been unsure about having children because i am not sure i can be a good mother. Now at 30 i am experiencing so many hormonal changes and the ...
A. 25 May 2007: Not everyone is cut out to be a Mom, but just because you delayed this doesnt mean it will never happen for you. Thirty is really not all that old to be having a child. I had my first at 28, my second at almost 32 and now at 39 still hope to have ... (read in full...)
I have a bf and 2 kids but love a married 50 year old man. How do I convince him to leave his wife for me?
Q. I am 22 with a boyfriend who i dont love but we stay together for our 2 children, for 6 months i have sseing a married guy who i am desperatly in love with, he is 50. his wife has recently caught us so our relationship is now over and i feel so is ...
A. 25 May 2007: This man is married and is doing the RIGHT thing by telling you that your relationship is over. It never should have started in the first place!! You are 22 years old and already have 2 children! It is time to learn to keep you pants on, girl!!... (read in full...)
I'm 18, virgin, and furious!
Q. Hi, I'm quite a pathetic case really. I'm 18 and still a virgin. Being a bloke its not something that i've admitted - I even spun my best mates off with bullshit stories about how i got layed. I hate myself for it. I don't understand why t...
A. 24 May 2007: Being a virgin at 18 is completely normal and actually admirable. Nobody regrets waiting, but plenty of people regret having sex too soon. Take your time. You only get to lose your virginity once.... (read in full...)
Does my gf not value my opinions? Any advice?
Q. I was left feeling felt un-needed, Last night i spent over an hour helping my girlfriend sort out a problem.... not a huge one but still... The problem was: She has work today for a temping agency and at the same time she has a job interview......
A. 24 May 2007: Your girlfriend received advice from 3 very significant people in her life, you, her father and her mother. He father, too, could ask the question you ask. She chose to go with her mothers advice. Does that mean she values her mothers opinion more ... (read in full...)
Am I doing something wrongor should I dump him??
Q. ok, I have a boyfriend and i dont know what he is doing half of the time and he does not call me or e-mail me at all. I feel like im doing somethink wrong. Maybe i should not be with him. What do you think?...
A. 24 May 2007: I agree with both the previous posts. You need to talk to your boyfriend. Communication is essential! How can he rectify a problem if he doesnt know a problem exists? Also, I will point out that at your young age a relationship should be a lot more ... (read in full...)
How do I drop a hint to my married co-worker, that I really him?
Q. I work with a manager who is about 48 yrs old. I like him a lot for his maturity, confidence, and sincere pride in his job and life. I'm a 20 yr old girl, but feel like he is someone I could get along really well with. I don't know if he likes me ...
A. 24 May 2007: You dont. You do not drop the hint that you would like to be with a MARRIED man. You do not get to be with him EVER. It doesnt matter if you think you would get along really great or that you really like him. He is taken! Find your own man, leave ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to have sex with me again?
Q. I hate feeling like a best friend instead of a wife. The lack of intimacy in this relationship is making me feel less like a lover and more like a friend with each passing day. I feel like I am someone to spend time with, to cuddle with, and to hang ...
A. 22 May 2007: I notice that you said that maybe if you took more pride in your appearance that might help. It just might! If you are not taking pride in your appearance, how can he? This doesnt mean that you have to be a perfect beauty queen, but dress nice, do ... (read in full...)
I lashed out at him because he wasn't giving me enough attention.
Q. If you have lashed out on the guy that you have recently dated, sent unending emails and smses because they are not giving you attention. Then they dump you and now you feel stupid, childish and regret, what could be the next step a person take. ...
A. 22 May 2007: He may be feeling a bit stalked and not want to hear from you anymore. It sounds like you were a bit too intense on him! Also, since you broke up with him, he is a single guy and is free to see whatever other women he wants to see. You are not a ... (read in full...)
My husband threatens to take our son back to India if I do not become submissive! Should I change?
Q. Hello, My husband was a very nice guy when we married and when we moved from india to USA he couldnt get a decent job and started the trouble and he is very egoistic. now he is a piece of scrap. I have a 6 year old son, I earn and im a ...
A. 22 May 2007: This is a very hard and painful decision to make and one that should not be made lightly. I understand how incredibly difficult it is to make the decision to leave an abusive marriage. I was in the same situation as you, but we are both American ... (read in full...)
My ex best mate and my bf were in the bathroom together - he says nothing happened! Should I believe him?
Q. been with bf for 3 yrs but i think he has cheated for the fact that when we first got together we were at a party but he was in toilet supposidly being sick but i couldnt hear him then two weeks later found out my ex best mate was in toilet with him ...
A. 22 May 2007: Wait a second. You have been with him 3 years and think that 3 years ago he may have cheated on you and NOW you are worried about it?!?! If you thought this then why have you been with him for the past 3 years AFTER the supposed cheating MAY have ... (read in full...)
My untrustworthy alcoholic b-i-l is moving in w/ us! How can we help? How do I not become resentful?
Q. Hello - I've asked about my alcoholic brother in law before, but I have a few new questions now because the situation has changed a bit. (I'm linking my first question at the bottom.) First let me set everything up (names changed, too): I'm 25, my...
A. 22 May 2007: Sounds to me like this boy needs some tough love. If you feel you absolutely must take this boy into your home, you need to lay down some groundrules first and then you and your husband must enforce them. Be brutal if you have to! Being leniant and ... (read in full...)
We occassionally have unprotected sex. Is counting days safe?
Q. my boyfriend and I tend to have unprotected sex... ehm, last month we did, he didnt come, we stilled vowed not to do it again. but over the weekend we got carried away and the same thing happend... again he didnt come but ive been following the ...
A. 22 May 2007: Yes, there are only certain days in the month that intercource can get you can get pregnant. Several days before you ovulate till several days after ovulation. This can be as long as a weeks time. The problem is, you are never sure exactly when you ... (read in full...)
Can I ever learn to trust my husband again after his lies?
Q. Can I ever learn to trust my husband again? I just found out 6 month ago that my husband has to children from a previous marraige. We have been dating for 6 years and have been married for two. Its not that I didn't ask he just flat out lied, an...
A. 22 May 2007: This wasnt a little secret or a little lie. This was major huge stuff! Two human beings were made out to not exist! I personally dont know if I could recover from something like that. The two of you should get into some counciling so see if you can ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 hes 22, would it be holding him back or inappropriate to date him ?
Q. i have just started seeing a guy who is really lovely however he is only just 18 and im 22 this year. Is this weird or inappropriate? he looks and acts older than he is and all his mates are older than him but i am concerned people will think im...
A. 22 May 2007: If he were 14 and you were 18 this would be highly innappropriate. But at 18 and 22 you are both adults and can explore a legitimate relationship together. You are both quite young and have a lot of growing and exploring and maturing to do. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
Really worried about this discharge, anyone know what it might be ?
Q. hiya,i need a little bit of help please. i have noticed that for about a week now ive had viginal discharge,its clear and quite slimy,it doesnt smell. i have just gone to the loo and when i wiped myself there was quite a lot on the loo paper. also i ...
A. 22 May 2007: Part of the natural, normal, menstrual cycle is to have a few days of oderless, goopy discharge. Maybe this month it is just excessive and more noticeable than usual? Time to visit the OB/GYN. Only he will know for sure. ... (read in full...)
When should you meet your partners parents ?
Q. At what point in a relationship should each side "meet the parents"? I met a guy in October 2006 and our relationship is progressing. My parents want to meet him. He hasn't brought up anything regarding me meeting his parents. He's 14 years older ...
A. 22 May 2007: You wont bring it up unless he does it first. Maybe he is saying the same thing! Anyway, if your parents want to meet him then I think they should. Dont make a huge deal out of it like my parents want to meet you, grill you on you intentions and see ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time chasing this married man?
Q. Please I need advice! I have been seeing a married man each week at a club but the thing is we havent had sex just kissed and stuff - nothing more. He is always there making sure I get home ok - even helped me when i was drunk. The looks he has on ...
A. 22 May 2007: Kissed and stuff? What the heck is the 'stuff' you are referring to? He is spending romantic time with you, kissing and 'stuff' with you. It doesnt matter wheather you have actually had intercourse or not. Unless his wife knows all about you, He is ... (read in full...)
My e-crush unexpectedly called me his gf! I want to be happy, but I feel weird. Why?
Q. Hello, I have a strange problem. I'm a young woman living in Canada, and for the past 3 years I've had feelings for this man that I met while on vacation in France. We met, traded numbers and addresses, and became penpals. I developed a weir...
A. 22 May 2007: You dont feel it is real because it ISNT real. Because of the huge distance you can only see each other rarely and in a vacation setting. This isnt real life. If you could see each other regularly and in 'normal' situations you might feel ... (read in full...)
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