He said we can advance by the time I reach 18 if I still like him. Why shouldn't we date now?
Q. I am 15 and i like someone who is 20. We both have feelings for each other but because of the age difference we have to wait until i am 18. he said that when i am 18 if i still have feelings for him than we should make the relationship serious. but ...
A. 20 February 2008: I have been in your shoes, but I was only 13 and he was 20. We liked each other so much, but my parents (and rightly so!!) said we could not date because of the age differance. They said once I was 18 I was free to date him. Unfortunately, by the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a threesome, he's willing to do it male/male/female; should I give him a male/female/female one with my sister?
Q. my bf of 9 years wants a threesome I told him if I give him one that I want a mfm which he is fine with, he is getting his best friend cuz he say he can trust him. should I give him a fmf with my sister? if anyone has tried this what should I ...
A. 16 February 2008: So, did you ever go through with the 3some with your BF and his friend? ... (read in full...)
I am dating several guys at once. I am being honest with them all and not having sexual relations with any. My friend says I am a slut. I'm not, am I?
Q. Hi I came out of a long term relationship around October last year and have recently been going for drinks with a lot of different guys. There's 3 of them. I don't want a relationship right now because I feel I was tied down for a year and I just ...
A. 14 February 2008: No, you are not being a slut at all!! ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my ugly friend or hold out for someone better looking?
Q. my good friend bought me a valentines card and asked me out. i think hes ugly and am a bit embarresed by him but hes also sweet, funny and likes me for who i am on the inside. should i go out with him or wait for my ideal boy who would have my level ...
A. 14 February 2008: It is amazing how your perception of a persons beauty changes as your feelings change for that person. You may not be particularly attracted to him, but if you gave him a TRUE OPEN HONEST chance, you may find that after a while you wonder "When did ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and had the first love come back to you after you initiated break up not knowing what you had?
Q. Hi. I'm just curious on this one. My first love and I had a basicallly perfect relationship, but I broke it off not knowing what I had. He soon rebounded and has been with her ever since (almost 3 years.) Odds are they will be marrying soon, but ...
A. 14 February 2008: You make no indication in your question that he shows even the tiniest interest in you. You state that he has been happily involved with another woman for 3 years and will likly be marrying her soon. What gives you the idea that he might ... (read in full...)
15 years old and still wetting the bed!
Q. Help me please. Im 15 and wet the bed. I usually dream about urinating then find myself doing it. I do it when i need the toilet and i usually go to the toilet in my dream and it seems weird in the dream and realistic. Because I really did it. Help ...
A. 7 February 2008: You have a condition called anurisis or night time wetting. The very best way to cure this is to get an alarm. It will be a small devise that inserts into or is clipped onto your underwear. When the very first drops of urine start coming out a loud ... (read in full...)
What are the age ranges for kids in American high schools?
Q. Hi please can someone inform me at what ages do people who go to high school in the usa are. Like in secondary school its age 11-16?? something like that and 16+ Is high school? Help me out here im from the UK ...
A. 7 February 2008: In the USA kids generally go to elementary or primary school for kindergarden through 5th or 6th grade which is ages 5 until about 11. Middle school or junior high school comes next which is 6th or 7th to 8th grade, ages 11- 14. Then comes high ... (read in full...)
I am a 13yr old girl, I want to run away from home
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl. I feel like running away because this has been going on so long. I feel like I have no friends anymore and everyone in my grade probably hates me. And I feel like my family doesen't love me. What do i do?...
A. 5 February 2008: The teenage years can be awful, just awful. And I really mean that. I, like you, wanted to run away thinking this would give me a fresh start so that I could live the happy life I knew I wanted. I tried at 14, was caught and put in counciling. I ... (read in full...)
What are the most valid reasons for divorce?? Or should you never give up??
Q. What are the biggest ,valid reason for divorce? -Living in a miserable marriage -cheating -lying -constant arguing -too absorbed in work -abuse -no fun -not initiating -not very passionate about their kids life -lack of sex -not feel loved So I ...
A. 24 January 2008: I think there are some very valid reasons for divorce, the big "A's"
ADULTERY- while this can be worked on if both parties truly want to, I do think it is a valid reason to leave.
ADDICTION - this can endanger the whole family and bring everyone... (read in full...)
She doesn't mind me smoking during sex but insists I wear a condom. Why?
Q. my girlfriend doesn't mind that I smoke but always insists that I wear a condom during sex-even though she's on the pill.Any blokes with a similar situation as to why?...
A. 8 January 2008: She is being responsable. The pill protects against pregnancy, but not against diseases. By making you wear a condom she is making sure you dont pass on any nasties to her and vice versa. ... (read in full...)
Should I be pregnant at this age?
Q. Me and my boyfriend has had sex without a condom loads off times in the past month to hav a baby because last year we found out i was pregnant but got an abortion because we was not ready but now i dont no if i am pregnant now because i hav just ...
A. 8 January 2008: You are waaaaaaay too young to be having a baby. I know you feel that you want one, but please stop being so selfish. Yes, I said selfish. Because if you stop for one minute and REALLY think about what is best for a child you would know that it is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets messages from sex sites, but denies being a member, says they are random. Is he lying??
Q. My boyfriend gets these instant messages from sex sites, stating "hey I liked your profile, if you want to see my webcam pics you can contact me at...." He says they are just random junk mail that everyone gets. I've got a yahoo account and I ...
A. 20 December 2007: I got that EXACT one that your boyfriend did yesterday and I am a woman and I have NEVER been to a porn site or anything! It also stated something about exhibitionism turning her on.So I would definately believe him. I even got one as a text message ... (read in full...)
New feature: Keyword + phrases links
Q. Hi There are over 40,000 questions here on dearcupid and some absolute gems in amongst them. Problem is it has been hard to make associations between similar questions in order to get the most out of the site. So, I've introduced a new feat...
A. 13 December 2007: Super Cool, Andrew! I think this will be fabulous and useful. Only one complaint: With all these links to other questions that I know I am going to want to read, How will I ever force myself to log off the site now? ;-`
~dee... (read in full...)
I have had a rough year
Q. I want to know what people think of the year I've had (relationship-wise); it would be interesting for me to find out: It all started very well in January when I was going out with a girl who lived in Yorkshire, but after 2 months, she chea...
A. 11 December 2007: I, too, had a rough year. I have been going though a nasty divorce for almost 2 years. My ex was supposed to pay the mortgage while in process, but chose not to, so now my home is being foreclosed on. He tried to have me arrested multiple times and ... (read in full...)
My brother is having surgery today and I need some prayers and word of support
Q. My brother is undergoing surgery to remove a brain tumor today. He has been fighting brain cancer for 5 years. We lost our Dad at the end of September. He is only 11 months older than me, so when we were growing up, we were very close. If you ...
A. 11 December 2007: Hi there! I know this is a very scary time and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. I do know a young man that had a brain tumor about 2 1/2 years ago. He had surgery to have it removed and has been cancer free ever since. I dont know ... (read in full...)
He's a two-faced hypocrite. How do I deal with it?
Q. I don't know whether my bf is bad or if its all my fault. I am 18 years old, my bf and i have been together for 7 months. At first our relationship was great, i felt so happy...but things have changed now... My bf says that if I leave him, kno...
A. 11 December 2007: You deal with it by dumping this loser. I am sorry to sound so mean, but this guy is not treating you right at ALL!!! Dump him and reestablish your friendship with your guy friend before it is too late. You really dont need this kind of abuse. Cause ... (read in full...)
Should I have let my older boyfriend fondle me? It made me unconfortable, but was I just being childish?
Q. I'm a female. I have a boyfriend called Ricky (not real name)he is 24 and i am 16 (i know big age gap but he and i get along really good). We ain't made out yet but he wants to. I went to rick's house when his parents were out somewhere and we did...
A. 11 December 2007: No, you should not have let him touch you. You are not ready for it and he is VERY wrong to have pressured you. He may seem great to you, but I dont think this is a great guy at all! I think you need to dump him.... (read in full...)
What is 'Lube'?
Q. this may sound really stupid but what is this lube or lubricant that everyone is talking about using? is there any other methods of using a substitute or anything? i'm completely new to this whole thing. thanks, plz help!...
A. 11 December 2007: lubricant is something that your body produces naturally, generally referred to as getting 'wet'. You can also use a sythetic lubricant like k-y jelly that you can purchase at the drug store in the family planning section. This is the area you will ... (read in full...)
Help me, I'm so confused!
Q. married for 10 great years .... i started a affair/ relationship with a beutiful man i now deeply love. problem being that i still love my husband...my husband has now found out and is willing to move on but i just cant imagine not having either if ...
A. 11 December 2007: I would look into polyamory. If you truly love both these men and if they are willing, why give up either one of them? If one demands that you make a choice, then you will have to. But if you are open and honest with them both, you may be able to ... (read in full...)
I keep getting flashbacks of seeing him in bed with his ex. How do I avoid being driven crazy?
Q. I can't stop thinking about how my husband had sex with his ex... I am in much pain when I see my husband's kids because of the flashback that I have seeing him with his ex in bed making these kids! Horrible thought, but it's true. We've married ...
A. 11 December 2007: Here is what I think. I think that you have always believed that your husband and his ex hated each other, never loved each other and were just miserable the whole time they were together. You are very happy together, that makes your relationship ... (read in full...)
Is there a meaning to these dreams?
Q. the other day i had a dream that me and girlfriend were just avout to have sex. then my girlfriends younger sister walks in. i get along with the younger sister in real life, but i dont fancy her or love ehr or anything, altho i have joked to my ...
A. 11 December 2007: I am not sure why you had the first dream, whether it was fantasy, fear of getting caught or whatever. However, I believe that your girlfriend had the second dream due to the fact that you told her about the first. It is the power of suggestion. ... (read in full...)
Can my girlfriend get pregnant from me fingering her with sperm on my fingers?
Q. Can my girlfriend get pregnant from me fingering her with sperm on my fingers?...
A. 11 December 2007: Extremely unlikely, but remotely possible. Sperm die pretty quickly when exposed to air so part of the answer would depend on whether you are doing this right away or hours later. Best thing to do is just wash your hands both from a birth control ... (read in full...)
I met a great girl but she has just discovered she's pregnant by her ex. Should I support her or break up?
Q. I just recently met a great girl and I connect with her like I never have with any other girl and we really really like each other.. but she just recently found out she is pregnant from her ex. it happened about a month ago before she met me. should ...
A. 11 December 2007: You barly know this young woman. You have only been with her a few weeks and even though the two of you have a great initial connection, you dont really know each other yet. I think it is way too early to be making a lifetime commitment to someone. ... (read in full...)
He didnt include me in his statement about family. He put me separate and I am hurt. Am I being oversensitive?
Q. This question is to all the boyfriends out there...if you are truthful and honest to your girlfriend, and you really love her, wont u say she's a part of your family? My boyfriend didnt do that. We were at a cookout that his friend was having. And ...
A. 6 December 2007: Oh! And if he HAD said just family and friends, might you be writing us now to say "why didnt he say he would go to war for me, too?"... (read in full...)
He didnt include me in his statement about family. He put me separate and I am hurt. Am I being oversensitive?
Q. This question is to all the boyfriends out there...if you are truthful and honest to your girlfriend, and you really love her, wont u say she's a part of your family? My boyfriend didnt do that. We were at a cookout that his friend was having. And ...
A. 6 December 2007: Part of the answer lies in how long you two have been together and how serious the relationship is. If you have been together for several years and are probably going to be getting married, then, yes, you should be considered part of his family. If ... (read in full...)
We are too embarrassed to buy condoms and don't know where we could get privacy, but we want to have sex.
Q. Me and my bf have been going on and off on our relation ship i want to have sex with him and he wants to have sex with me we are both ready but neither of use want to go buy condoms let alone he is to embarrassed to go get them and neither of us ...
A. 6 December 2007: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms than you really arent ready for sex yet. If you think that will be embarrassing, how embarrassing will it be when you have to announce an unplanned pregnacy or, worse, get a venereal disease treated? The two ... (read in full...)
13, My boyfriend wants Sex from me, but I don't think I'm ready. Can you help me?
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for 3 wks and 5 days and he wants to have sex with me and im still a virgin and he is'nt i dont know if im ready or not how would i know if im ready or not. ...
A. 6 December 2007: You are not ready. Not only are you too young, but the relationship with this young man is still in its infancy. Do NOT let this guy pressure you into sex. If he breaks up with you because you wont have sex you will have learned that he is just a ... (read in full...)
Pregnant with body issues!
Q. Hi everyone i am 18 weeks pregnant with twins. these will be my first. I already have quite a big bump, although I haven't changed from the back. I just feel so unattractive, and so worried that I'll never be the same again after they're born (an...
A. 6 December 2007: Our bodies all change when we have children. This is a fact of life. You boyfriend will look at you a bit differantly now, but believe me, he will still find you attractive, and if he doesnt he has really got something wrong with him and it is ... (read in full...)
My husband has sex dreams every night and I am upset!
Q. My husband has strange bedtime habits - insight would be greatly appreciated. When he falls asleep he very often starts moaning, making noises like he's enjoying sex, occassionally he mutters something, and he is clealy in a sexually arroused state. ...
A. 6 December 2007: You have an active sex life (VERY active!!!) and you dont think he is cheating. You are just upset that he has sex dreams. This, in my opinion is SILLY!!! He cant help what he dreams! He obviously has a very strong sex drive and, frankly, is ... (read in full...)
Poll question. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Q. Hey would like to know how old were you when you lost your virginity and also did you tell your parents about it or not till later? How were you sure it was the right person?...
A. 29 November 2007: I was only 16 and have always regretted not waiting longer. I had those raging hormones, you know? The boy I lost it to was a wonderful human being and I am still in touch with him occasionally so I dont regret who it was with in that sence. But it ... (read in full...)
Poll question. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Q. Hey would like to know how old were you when you lost your virginity and also did you tell your parents about it or not till later? How were you sure it was the right person?...
A. 29 November 2007: I was only 16 and have always regretted not waiting longer. I had those raging hormones, you know? The boy I lost it to was a wonderful human being and I am still in touch with him occasionally so I dont regret who it was with in that sence. But it ... (read in full...)
He won't see me unless my parents agree. What should I do?
Q. I'm 15 and i fell in love with a 21 year old. He loves me for me and doesn't want sex. I want so badly to be with him. I've tried talking to my mom about the situation, but she said no about it being okay to see each other. We can wait until I'm 18 ...
A. 29 November 2007: This sounds like a really great guy. He is doing the right thing by refusing to see you unless your parents agree. Not many guys would be so forthright. Ask your Mom if it would be ok for him to see you with her present. Perhaps he could come to ... (read in full...)
Shall I pay my own way or not?
Q. I have started dating this guy and we have been dating for about a month and I havent ever really dated before. i was wondering if i should let him pay everytime we go out or should i offer to pay or how that works!?... ...
A. 29 November 2007: If you are doing the inviting, then it would be a good idea to at least OFFER to pay. Perhaps you would like to go to a concert or play, then just buy the tickets yourself. Do expect him to get them for you. Then when you go out to dinner before ... (read in full...)
Is she lying to me?
Q. Hi, I met my girlfriend before 1 year and 6 months and i love her so much, in the begining we used to see each other every two weeks. during the first year i am helping her financily all the time and she used to see me when i have to give her the ...
A. 29 November 2007: Stop giving this girl any money whatsoever right now. In my mind there is an excellant chance that she is using you for your money and doesnt really care about you at all. If she really does care about you, then stopping the gravy train will not ... (read in full...)
I've stopped going to work to please my girlfriend, and now I don't think I want to work anymore
Q. This question is a little different to whats normally on here but I hope someone can still help me. The mess im in started a few weeks ago, I work in a nightclub and I work quite a few hours a week, and basically my girlfriend got really annoyed ...
A. 29 November 2007: I am sorry, but this is BIZZARRE!!! Why would your girlfriend want you to stop working just so that you could spend more time with her and your daughter? If you lose your job/stop working how are you going to pay the bills? How can you take care of ... (read in full...)
A guy told me he loved me online and I said I loved him, too. But I dont! We barely even know each other!
Q. i need help. there is this guy at school that likes me. he came on msn and hes like i love you.... stuff like that.then hes like you dont like me, dont talk to me. bye i did a stupid thing and told him i loved him then hes like you wanna go out a...
A. 29 November 2007: I dont think you should go out with him. He is already using emotional blackmail to try to control you. It is a bad situation and you are way too young to have to worry about this kind of crap yet. ... (read in full...)
Why is he like this towards me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about two months now, but i already know that this is real love, none of my other relationships felt this way. But sometimes my boyfriend makes me feel a bit..odd i guess. He'll say hows much he loves me constantly ...
A. 29 November 2007: I think there may be mental illness here. He sounds paranoid/delusional or maybe bipolar. He can be loving and charming, but also abusive. The fact that he doesnt work and expects you to support him is a HUGE red flag to me. I know you say you love ... (read in full...)
When a couple gets engaged, do they each buy an engagement ring? Or just the boy?
Q. I have a question relating to "marriage/engagement. When a couple get's engaged, are they both supposed to buy an engagement ring? Or does the boyfriend just buy an engagement ring?...
A. 29 November 2007: Generally speaking the boy buys the girl an engagement ring. Men do not wear engagement rings. However, they do were wedding rings and each party should receive a wedding ring at the marriage ceramony. In this day and age when sometimes it is the ... (read in full...)
How do I give a bj without gaging?
Q. How do I give my boyfriend a blowjob without gaging? I've tried it numorous times and I just can't get a comfortable position for it to go all the way down. Any suggestions for practice or technique? He's happy with how I do it, it's just something ...
A. 18 November 2007: What you are talking about (going all the way down) is known as deepthroating and is really unneccesary for sexual pleasure. Some guys like it, but it is more of a psychological turn on that you would do that, rather than a physiological stimulus. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hurts when he gets and erection and we don't have sex, and bleeds when urinates
Q. My boyfriend says it hurts when he gets an erection and we don't have sex. Is this true? He also says it makes him "Pee" blood? Help please -Jenn...
A. 1 November 2007: Again, it is the kidney stones then that are making him 'pee blood' and having or not having sex will not change this. Having intercourse will not stop or aleviate the pain or blood. They are not even remotely related. If he tries to tell you they ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregant??
Q. Hi, I really need some help. My bf is my first seuxal partner, I have been intimate with my bf for about 10 months and we have always used condoms (i am not on any other birth control). Last night we had sex and i was really dry but we continue...
A. 25 October 2007: Good to hear it!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hurts when he gets and erection and we don't have sex, and bleeds when urinates
Q. My boyfriend says it hurts when he gets an erection and we don't have sex. Is this true? He also says it makes him "Pee" blood? Help please -Jenn...
A. 25 October 2007: Having an erection that does not end in orgasm can cause some mild 'pain' only if it is for a very extended time. A guy will not have pain with every erection that does not end in intercourse or orgasm or guys would be doubled over constantly as ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregant??
Q. Hi, I really need some help. My bf is my first seuxal partner, I have been intimate with my bf for about 10 months and we have always used condoms (i am not on any other birth control). Last night we had sex and i was really dry but we continue...
A. 17 October 2007: Relax, Sweetie. The morning after pill will take care of it. I personally have never taken it but I can tell you that it is a short term high dose of birth control pills. It prevents an egg from implanting itself on the uterine wall and therefore ... (read in full...)
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