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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years.We were talking the other day. Some what if's type of conversation.I asked him if he would ever leave me or leave me for someone else and he said he has everything he wants and needs from me and more. That that would never happen. He also said he has "too much invested" in me.Can anyone tell me what that means? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 January 2016):
 It means exactly that. He's invested time, feelings, possibly money into the relationship with you. Investments he will lose if ending the relationship. The point thought is that you asked a weird questions that reeks of insecurity, and thus you second guess everything. Work on this.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 January 2016):
 Is he still married or did he finally divorce her?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 January 2016):
 I agree with Ciar.
I think it's a really odd question to ask one's partner.
He can't realistically MAKE a promise to NEVER leave you, because he might think, RIGHT NOW that he won't, but who knows?
Why not JUST enjoy what you have with him instead of questioning it, and in turn his commitment?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 Is there reasons for you being so insecure? Do you feel secure in this relationship? Are you getting what you need from it?
At the minute he has invested his time and efforts in to this relationship, meaning that even if he wanted to he couldn't leave you as he cares to much. It was the best answer you could have hoped for yet you question it.
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A
female
reader, ellsie96  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 I think he means emotionally he has too much invested in you. He's been with you for a long time and couldn't leave you is basically what he is saying.
I would just say don't worry about it, he was just assuring you basically that he wouldn't leave you.
These questions sometimes leave you feeling a bit confused if you don't get the answer you necessarily expected from your partner, but to me here it sounds like he was saying a good thing :)
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (25 January 2016):
 Asking these kinds of questions is really a bad idea, OP. For one thing no one knows the future and no one can absolutely guarantee what they'll do or not do in circumstances unknown.
And for another it sounds VERY insecure, like you're fishing for re-assurance.
To answer your question here, it means your boyfriend is too emotionally invested in you to even consider leaving at this point. I would have thought obvious.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2016): Ask him. It can mean anything and no one here can give you the answer. I am sure you have some ideas of your own and that your guess is certainly better than ours, better than mine for sure.
Having said that...
The verb to invest can be used to talk about emotions, energy as well, not just money.
Maybe he's honestly talking about the fact that a relationship, after a certain time, is also sustained by the feeling of "investment". You invested certain time, energy and emotion into someone and if it's good you want to keep that. Some people call it habit, but I disagree. Habit is automatic reaction, what he said is more mindful. He is aware of the importance you and the relationship with you in his life.
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