A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone know the best way to meet girls. Im now 30 and lets say i have had a fair crack of the whip. I have had a couple of long term relationships, one of which i was engaged, and both ended badly. I consider myself to be a good looking guy, and i do get alot of attention from femails in work and outside, the problem is i never do anything about it.All the girls i have met have been in a pub or a club where people are alcohol fueled. I really want to meet someone like at the gym, or the supermarket, or even walking down the road, but its just so hard to strike up that first initial conversation.Any tips would be greatly appreciated.Cheers.
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male
reader, attraction faction +, writes (15 May 2007):
Cateyes above does have some wisdom for you here
I would add that attraction is very much an active process i.e. you have to attract women to you, you therefore need to learn the process. Now many people argue this cannot be learnt and they do so in defence of romance and biology and all sorts of personal reasons which we wont go into here. However like all skills (and believe you me attracting a partner is a skill set) you can and will learn this. Either you learn to be good with attraction and master the skills or you don't. Both situations are normally a natural thing.
From your words, I would say that you need to start loving yourself a little more first before you try to love someone else again, and I realise this sounds very wishy washy, but put simply women instantly know whether you are confident and whether you are fun or not. You can only be fun and confident when you like the person you go out with more than anyone else i.e. yourself. Fix your heart and the rest follows...... and you will see women everywhere...
If you are just looking for women, then my I suggest doing this purely during the day, going to traditionally non social places, low energy environments and simply approaching women . I teach men how to do this in Manchester, if you are shy then use this to your advantage.
1 tip I will give you is always have more energy than the person you are talking to and use a situational conversation and the move quickly into a girl relevant topic and ask her opinion on something. Most importantly, be light hearted.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): hi, do u have a hobby? or play sports? or watch sports? you can meet wonderful people through doing things that you like. Just go out and do an activity of soe sort that does not have to do with the bar or drinking...there's lots of nice people everwhere, its just a matter of going up and saying hello to them.
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A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (12 May 2007):
 Meeting someone in a pub/club in my opinion would not be the most healthiest place. Alcohol would play a big part when your talking with them, because alcohol does tend to make us pretty brave in talking and really, your not getting to know the real them. However, you could meet a real "nightmare" of a person with alcohol or without!!! If you really wanted to spark up a conversation with a lady at the gym, I would think a smile and a hello would start the "tone". Women can let you know in a NY minute what they automatically think of you, whether they even want to talk to you - facial expressions / and if they look at you....alot..even if it's in the corner of their eye, that's a good sign. I would do this a few times before really trying to get a real conversation going. Once you get that "feel" of approval, then maybe ask her out, even if it's just for juice after a workout. The supermarket...I actually had someone come up to me in a store and they just were very blunt and said..I just had to tell you that I think you are such a beautiful woman. Mind you, it caught me way off guard and I thought he probably was a perv/mad rapist. That was a bit to heavy, and he couldn't have been the nicest guy in the world but he just sounded to desparate or something, but again, I go back to the smile and hello. If you get a vibe right that second, by all means just let her know that you know this sounds odd, but before she walks out the door you would hate to have missed out on the opportunity of meeting her. But seriously, in this day and time...it looks like almost everyone at any age is all doing the internet dating. There's a write up on you, a picture, your interests, what you like and don't like..you name it. Maybe you should consider doing something like that since it really sounds as if you are pretty shy. I am sure there are some QUALITY one's in your area, however, all the freebie one's I would probably not post there unless it's one supported with some great facts about it's site. Sometimes you have to pay if you want to omit the one's with a few loose marbles and then seek those who really have a real head on their shoulders and know what they really want in life. One last thing, I don't know how you feel about a girl asking you out, but if one does and you like her, go out with her!! There is nothing wrong for a girl to ask a guy out.
Good Luck to you!!! :)
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