A
female
age
41-50,
*udenuff74
writes:I am 32 years old a single mother for that past 10 years and I've finally found love again. We've been dating from a distance for the past 6 months and I am preparing to move out of state with my daughter to live with him. Our intention is to be married and I have little doubt of his character and integrity, so this is not in question. What is troubling me is that we talk of having kids and I am struck with a fear of abandonment so deep. My daughters father and I split within the first year she was born.Without sounding as if I'm putting demands on my new relationship, I want to be married before we start this endeavor of being parents together- as I've experienced before it's no real security that things will work out even if your married- so I don't understand my own feelings. He wants me to stop taking my birth control as of yesterday. I just dont feel secure enough yet.When I talk to him about it, he says he understands but really he seems to just be counting the days till he breaks through my apprehension. How can I tell him I just dont feel secure enough without marriage and some proven stability of support without hurting his pride- because in reality he has shown some stability but mostly it's idealistic talk. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, justice123 +, writes (24 March 2007):
well listen girly you have to tell him like this if you cant respect my wishes maybe we shouldnt be together i know it will be hard but you cant go through life letting people step all over you!
A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (24 March 2007):
 First of all...Congratulations with your new love! I applaud you for wanting to be married first. I can truly understand that, however, as you mentioned, there is no guarantee that ANY marriage will last forever. Being said, what I do believe is on focusing on everything positive. I understand about your split up with the ex, but you can't have doubts going into a relationship already thinking what if I have a child and he leaves me. With you making the big move, he should already understand and totally respect you for wanting to wait until you get married and I am sure he really does. Instead of trying to make him realize, set a date, get married as soon as possible and go have yourself a wonderful family! Make BOTH of yourselves happy. It can be done! Good Lcuk to all of you!
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