How do I behave to the one I want?
Q. Well it hasn't worked being open an honest in my relationships. I tell people to act like you don't care, don't call them or text; let them do it. Act like you always got things to do if they say they missed you, don't say it back. I know its ...
A. 11 August 2016: You ask, "how do I behave with the one I want"?
You should behave with the one you want the same way we hope other people will behave with us, respectfully and honestly. If people, and not just potential partners, don't treat us respectf... (read in full...)
My circumstances have changed a lot since yesterday. New issues - Can you help me on what to do?
Q. Hi there, thanks for looking at my question. I actually posted yesterday (sorry) but my circumstances have changed a lot and I'm looking for help to save my relationship - and to know if it's worth saving. I've been in floods of tears and feel as t...
A. 11 August 2016: I can't believe that you accepting its your fault he lies. Sweetheart, he lies because he can, he lies because he is a liar.
If your relationship wont survive unless he tells lies, then its not much of a relationship.
... (read in full...)
I want to know when I will stop bloody crying and feeling so low!
Q. Dear aunts I won't make this too long. I discovered my husband is cheating online with some whore. His behaviour was suspicious as in him turning iPad away from me when I walked Into room. Got Into his iPad which was locked but had managed to see h...
A. 11 August 2016: as Ivyblue said, we are all sisters, we are here if you need us, be quick with your research into bank accounts etc, because once he realises you are seriously not going to go and 'talk it over' in a hotel he will start getting snarky and trying to ... (read in full...)
He's telling them our relationship has ended before he even told me. How do I let go and move on from him?
Q. My partner and I have been together 6 and a half years, since I was 16. We both live with my parents and over the course of our relationship we have done for 3-4 years. Roughly 2 years ago, my partner dumped me, for me it was completely out o...
A. 11 August 2016: I hope he has moved out now, but my gut feeling is that he is still sitting in your room, in your house, ignoring you with his headphones on.
What do your parents say, have you told them of his treatment, that he is cheating on you and sitting ... (read in full...)
Any advice on this dysfunctional relationship?
Q. My partner moans at me 24/7, interspersed with some occasional flattery and friendship! He is charming to others. He doesn't like unleashing his temper when others are around to overhear particularly if they are male! He non-stop chips at my sel...
A. 10 August 2016: Why do you stay, and why are you giving him money? I doesn't sound like there is anything positive for you in this relation ship nor anything to be gained.... (read in full...)
Would counselling and therapy help, after all this time? My son thinks so. Any advice please?
Q. I know this may be looking like a sort of what if situation that I am having thirty years later, but this is not the case. Trust me. I have been thinking about her every single day and night for the last two to three decades and I know that I can'...
A. 10 August 2016: We need more information if we are going to be able to fully comprehend your situation, and suggest different ways of dealing with it.
If you have never dated, nor had a wife, where did your son come from?
Who raised him, you would have been ... (read in full...)
I want to know when I will stop bloody crying and feeling so low!
Q. Dear aunts I won't make this too long. I discovered my husband is cheating online with some whore. His behaviour was suspicious as in him turning iPad away from me when I walked Into room. Got Into his iPad which was locked but had managed to see h...
A. 9 August 2016: Eventually you will stop crying and one day in the future you will be getting ready for bed and realise that you hadn't thought of him, or hurt, all day.
However, there will still be the odd days over the years where the anger and hurt will rai... (read in full...)
I want to know when I will stop bloody crying and feeling so low!
Q. Dear aunts I won't make this too long. I discovered my husband is cheating online with some whore. His behaviour was suspicious as in him turning iPad away from me when I walked Into room. Got Into his iPad which was locked but had managed to see h...
A. 9 August 2016: Eventually you will stop crying and one day in the future you will be getting ready for bed and realise that you hadn't thought of him, or hurt, all day.
However, there will still be the odd days over the years where the anger and hurt will rai... (read in full...)
How can I successfully negotiate these sensitive family issues?
Q. What a great site with assistance from people worldwide. Thanks in advance to all who respond...much appreciated. In about a weeks time I am planning to fly to another city to visit my brother and his second wife who have a two year old daughte...
A. 8 August 2016: Spend some time with your brother and his current wife, and some time with his ex wife and your nephew ....
If your brother complains explain to him he have divorced his wife but you never divorced your friend, and that you want to spend some qua... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend what her father said? What should I do?
Q. I went to a dinner party for one of my best friends, and her dad who is married complimented me twice. Both times I felt very uncomfortable. He called my name across the table, and begin to say how attractive I am. And as I was leaving the party he...
A. 8 August 2016: What do you hope to achieve by telling your friend her father appears to find you attractive?
You are an adult, next time he says you are attractive simply say "thank you for the compliment" and if he stands too close tell him he is invading... (read in full...)
I'm not priority on his social media
Q. What do people think about texting a partner and them not getting back to you, but seeing they are on social media a few times, then they text you back about an hour etc later? My partner does this and it makes me feel like he looks at his phone...
A. 7 August 2016: Are you texting "Help, an elephant just sat on my car while I was in it, and now my leg is trapped under the dash and there is a juggernaut heading straight for me" .... which really does deserve some sort of response, most preferably "hang on baby ... (read in full...)
He needs to understand its over and he needs to stop harrassing me!
Q. I left my abusive husband 3 months ago. During that time, in a moment of weakness after him begging to give him another chance, I said that we could try to make it work. For a month after that, he went dead silent and refused everything I tried to ...
A. 6 August 2016: Its possible your husband views you as a possession and if he knows you are intending leaving his country to return to your own that he will decide not to let you leave.
I would advise against waiting 2 months before you leave and return home as ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep running into cheap dudes?
Q. Why do I keep running into men that are cheap,they always want something for nothing? I've ran into plenty of guys who want to use me for sex but then if I need something they won't have my back. Like why should I give u what u want but you can't ...
A. 3 August 2016: I am with llifton on this, your question is vague, what is it you are wanting from men. The term "having your back" usually relates to somebody being your second pair of eyes, like providing protection, why do you need somebody to have your back?
... (read in full...)
He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!
Q. brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...
A. 23 July 2016: You want a bunch of people who have never met either of you to tell you what his deal is?
How are you expecting us to know that?
You have two choices, either accept his behaviour and be polite in that you say hello when you see him and no more,... (read in full...)
Should I give up on a girl I like?
Q. I've known this girl, for what seems like an eternity, we get along great and I can always be myself around her, and I've always felt some form of attraction for her, nothing has happened between us, but in the last few months I felt I was losing ...
A. 23 July 2016: If attempts to win her over haven't been successful, even though you have liked her for years, I suggest you move on. Don't contact her or initiate meetups, and don't waste any more of you life waiting for her to make some sort of decision about ... (read in full...)
He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!
Q. brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...
A. 23 July 2016: He isn't interested in your platonic talk, if he wants to stay away from you then let him. An acknowledgment he is there, "hi Fred" is sufficient. You can't force a friendship if he isn't interested in one.... (read in full...)
Previously I messed up. What should I do differently this time?
Q. Hello. My story is pretty simple. I messed up. Bad. I was with my woman for 6+ years, since we were sophomores in high school. Truth be told I cheated on her. Why? For the longest time I felt like I didn't matter. Like even the littlest things ...
A. 19 July 2016: Hmm
Let me recap what you have written:
You cheated because
she never noticed the little things
you would bottle stuff in to avoid fights, which made her mad
When you pointed this out to her she would nod her head
You wanted her to acknowledg... (read in full...)
Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.
Q. I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...
A. 18 July 2016: My advice to you is to kiss the car goodbye and any money you may have put into building the cabin. Go and live with your sister, make sure you pay to help with costs of food and utilities etc, and decide if you need to save for a car first or ... (read in full...)
Feeling trapped but afraid to leave and regret it.
Q. I feel like I am in a predicament. I am in a relationship of about a year and four months. We were friends a few years before getting together. Due to circumstances after a few months of us dating I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to ...
A. 18 July 2016: My advice to you is to kiss the car goodbye and any money you may have put into building the cabin. Go and live with your sister, make sure you pay to help with costs of food and utilities etc, and decide if you need to save for a car first or ... (read in full...)
I don't want to let go of someone I love but my husband keeps on responding to this girl on line. What can I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I have been with this man a total of 7 years married for 3 and he unfortunately feel in a web web of lies with one of his friends from another country.. And he sent her inappropriate messages and a video of him self " releaving...
A. 17 July 2016: I'm not sure what web of lies he fell into that forced him to masturbate live on camera with some woman overseas.
Has your cheating husband explained what lies were told, or how he come to fall into their web? It just doesn't make sense to me.
... (read in full...)
What would you do or say to a compulsive liar?
Q. I appear to have a lot of drama in my life at present. I've noticed a large chunk of it has come from a friend of mine who is a compulsive liar. So heres a list of the lies she's told me over the past couple of months; her mums got breast cancer, ...
A. 14 July 2016: Be straight with her, tell her the fraudulent story she told about you causing her to be attacked in a club is the reason you don't want to meet up with her as a result.
... (read in full...)
Help. If we have to make a decision to visit him or not, I am not sure about what to do. Any advice would help please?
Q. A couple of years ago my husband and I moved to a new building where we became friends with one of the neighbors. He's in his 50's, keeps much of the time for himself but is really kind, respectful and generous. He avoids people (he doesn't ...
A. 14 July 2016: My mother would not tell us stuff because she didn't want us to worry, or think that we needed to travel to see her, or dad, if they were sick, even quite sick.
She won a community award and made light of it because she didn't want me going to... (read in full...)
Should I disown her for rejecting my name?
Q. This may be an inappropriate question for this site but I am furious with my daughter. She is 29 and she has recently announced that she plans to get a legal name change, and I am boiling mad. I have a mind to disown her. Even though her mom and I ...
A. 11 July 2016: You ask if your daughter deserves your love and support ....
But you also say you have complied with your current wife's request that your daughter be pushed aside and not seen, I don't understand, haven't you ALREADY withdrawn your love and supp... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's assistant is inappropriate! How do I get him to set boundaries?
Q. My boyfriend has a new assistant of 3 months. She is too comfortable around him and especially in our home. He invited her to hang out with our friends and she made a very bad first impression. She starts smoking weed, talking about how she deals, ...
A. 11 July 2016: If its your place, tell him he needs to leave until he learns your home needs to be respected by him and the people he invites into it.
If its his place pack up and move on out, for some reason this girl has him bamboozled.... he might wake up ... (read in full...)
The rumors of a crush are ruining my work life!
Q. Hi I love my job it's not a chore to go. Someone is spreading rumors that I fancy this guy and everyone is laughing behind my back. I've been friendly but no more than with the other guys there. He does make me feel awkward. he's taken this all the ...
A. 11 July 2016: Tell your husband, and then next time you hear the rumour, or somebody alludes to it you hand them a slip of paper with your husband's contact details, telling the person your husband is VERY interested to know who is spreading malicious rumours ... (read in full...)
Should I leave everything and everyone I know for love?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 2 and a half years. We go to college together, and graduate in May. He is from California; I am from NYC. I love NYC and he loves California, and we love each other very much -- we want to stay tog...
A. 10 July 2016: What sort of work in Hollywood does your boyfriend want to do, will there be further studies required or will he be job ready when he graduates?
Where do you intend studying law? How much competition will there be for you to gain entry to the educ... (read in full...)
She's downgraded me from facebook. I thought we were friends not just co-workers. What to do?
Q. I'm friends with a female at work, we talk now and then at work but not a lot to each other as she's busy but we are friends on facebook though. When I didn't hear back from her in a while, I posted on her wall, haven't replied back to me, which wa...
A. 7 July 2016: You thought she wouldn't answer private messaged her you public messaged her instead ... sounds like you were trying to "force" or embarrass her into replying by making it public. Guys who try and force girls into doing stuff girls don't want to do ... (read in full...)
Is it OK for the guy I am seeing to keep on texting his ex when he is on a date with me? What can I do?
Q. If the guy you are seeing, keeps texting an ex while he is spending time with you,would you be okay with it. Is it disrespectful to the girl? Would you turn a blind eye to it? Will you date a guy who is bff with his ex?...
A. 6 July 2016: As already mentioned, unless there are kids, or some other sort of emergency, but if it is just texting, tell him "I can see you are rather busy" pick up your purse and use your feet, walk out of there, its disrespectful and why would you accept it?... (read in full...)
Dreams about a former professor?
Q. Hello. I'm not sure why I am having dreams about another man. I am in a happy relationship and I am 20 years old. I occasionally have dreams about being with a different man emotionally and physically though. Aht surprises me is that the man in my ...
A. 5 July 2016: I remember having a simular dream, but the man in MY dream was an ancient holy man, WTH he looked like he was about 300 years old ....... pretty funny in hindsight but I was horrified at the time. My boss at the time was an interesting lady, her ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 2 July 2016: Don't get married until this issue is sorted and everybody, that's you, him, your sons and his daughter, are aware of their responsibilities within the household.
Another point, in your submission you say this: "And, more than likely the problem ... (read in full...)
Engaged to be married man after my friend at work. Is this now a competition?
Q. There's a guy at work who is jealous I'm friends with this female. The problem is he's very full of himself and tries to ruin moments I have with her, when I talk to her. To my horror, I found out he is friends with her on facebook today, I don't kn...
A. 30 June 2016: The guy is not walking all over you
you have a crush on a girl
she is not your girlfriend
she is a work colleague
he is a work colleague
he can talk to her
he can be her friend on facebook
You can get all huffy and puffy as much as you w... (read in full...)
I have fallen madly, hotly in love with my sister in law
Q. I have completely fell for my sister-in-law , she even told her cousin I have the major hots for her and word for word her cousin came and told me , my brother has not done anything with her sense October last year and she is so grandly hot and it ...
A. 30 June 2016: To be blunt, your sister in law is a cock tease. To be blunt again, for a man to be living in his brother's house and thinking of having sex with the sister in law is a low act.
Get your arse out of that house, go find your own home, quit thi... (read in full...)
Engaged to be married man after my friend at work. Is this now a competition?
Q. There's a guy at work who is jealous I'm friends with this female. The problem is he's very full of himself and tries to ruin moments I have with her, when I talk to her. To my horror, I found out he is friends with her on facebook today, I don't kn...
A. 30 June 2016: This female, as you refer to her, is not your property, just because you have a five year plan in place to eventually ask her on a date does not mean she cannot add or delete people from her facebook friend's list, and those people can comment on ... (read in full...)
I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 29 June 2016: Sweetheart, I think she has already made her choice, and its not you .......... find somewhere to stay for a few weeks, friends or family, gather together everything that is important to you, ie if you have old family photos that cant be replaced ... (read in full...)
I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 27 June 2016: I totally overlooked the fact you are living with her parents. Pack up as much of your stuff as you can and move out, even if it means sleeping on a sofa at a mate's place.
At the moment there is no reason for her to have to stop her bullshit... (read in full...)
He just wants to argue and never says sorry.
Q. So I've been dating my guy for 8months now, but we've known each other for years as good friends. im 26 and hes 30. We both work. Lately he has been talking about taking me to see his family and talking rings and marriage and I love him but ...
A. 27 June 2016: Nope, not over reacting at all. As for the romance and cute texts stopping, he has already got you, bagged his catch so to speak, and feels he no longer has to put out the lures.
If you are not feeling loved and wanted then why stay with him, we ... (read in full...)
My gf won't be sexually intimate
Q. Hi. I've been with my gf for two and a half years. I love her to bits and I really feel she's the love of my life but she refuses to be physically intimate. We only kiss. I have a high sex drive and had a very active sex life in the past. I'm ...
A. 27 June 2016: If she is a bit of an innocent she may be worried about the logistics ..... and the "what ifs". Are the family planning clinics where you live, if yes I would recommend making an appointment for the pair of you, or a GP if that is more ... (read in full...)
I feel like "Mr No Spine"
Q. His ladies and gents, long time no post here. The past 4 years have been great, I have met a great woman, and 1 year ago, we got married. We are living with her parents, it can get a little claustrophobic at times. Just for a small amount o...
A. 27 June 2016: Marriage is for two people, she has introduced a third person, I know you love her but if you continue as you are you will only tear yourself apart.
The only way to show her what she is doing to you, and your marriage is to tell her one more tim... (read in full...)
I'm not crazy .... am I?
Q. Hey everyone, I will keep this short and sweet (I am looking for a volume of answers to gauge what is deemed as acceptable by all) About six weeks ago I started chatting to a girl on Tinder, lovely bloody thing she is... We live 350kms apart, sh...
A. 26 June 2016: Walk away from this toxic little scheming miss as quickly as you can.
I understand you are hoping that things are not as they appear and would like to have a good, open and honest relationship with this girl, but it isn't going to happen. ... (read in full...)
Has he agreed to see where things lead?
Q. I had been seeing a separated man for 2 months. He has been separated for 18 months. He has been very open and honest with me about his difficult divorce he is in the process of. From the start he told me he wasn't sure how much he had to give ...
A. 26 June 2016: I agree with Honeypie, he has told you he "can't" be in a relationship, and by claiming he isn't into casual he is guaranteeing that you two will be sexually exclusive.
He may well be a genuinely decent man, but if you are hoping these random m... (read in full...)
Not sure if 'No' means no for good
Q. Asked a female out for a drink from the office of where I work and she said she would get back to me. And she did, unfortunately it wasn't good news. It was a rejection reply. I absolutely hate them. Anyway she explained she wasn't able to see me ...
A. 26 June 2016: Oh my!
How do you know she lied?
Are you aware women need to be careful how they tell some men they are not interested in dating?
In the past year 14 women in the US have been attacked or killed for saying no to a date .... google it!
W... (read in full...)
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