Should I write my bus driver crush a Christmas card?
Q. well I seen the bus driver I have a crush on who I think is about 36, I am 33. he is always shy but extra nice towards me and talks very low and mild mannered….so as I am getting on the bus today, he just cheeses and grins with all 32 teeth and says ...
A. 19 December 2016: He is a friendly, jolly bus driver, its possible that is who he is and that his smiles and banter are just who he is. You haven't said if you know anything else about him .. he might be married and have children, you need to be very careful how ... (read in full...)
Is he lazy or am I expecting too much?
Q. My bf and I are in a long distance relationship, we met online about 5 months ago. I visited him twice and he is coming down to see me very soon. Before I met up w/him, we texted and vid chatted. When we are physically together, the fe...
A. 18 December 2016: Maybe he is somebody who just isn't in the habit of texting or phoning a lot .... have you discussed with him how much contact there should be between the two of you? Its also possible he gets caught up at work, or when he is with family or friends ... (read in full...)
Should I trust this man?
Q. I had an emotional affair with him and he left his wife and adult kids for me and mine. Which at first felt great. But then suddenly he lied to me saying he was going away for the weekend for Manchester, UK with his sons to try and get them on his ...
A. 17 December 2016: When you say he left his wife and kids for you and yours, are you saying you also have children? As you have listed your age as early twenties your children must be quite young. Do you have custody?
What were the circumstances when you were tal... (read in full...)
We’re the same age but she says I’m too young for her! Do I persevere or do I take that as she's not interested?
Q. Hey guys wondering whether I could have some help. After finishing a bad relationship 2 years ago, I bump into a friend from school i haven't seen in years. We end up getting on really well and going out on a few dates, all of which have been ...
A. 17 December 2016: Sounds like she prefers men older in age not necessarily mature. She's not interested so I'd give this one a miss and find somebody who will appreciate you as you are.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to schedule a family picture session during a friend’s wedding weekend? We are paying our own way!
Q. Sorry this question isn't really dating related...but I used to come here years ago before I got married and couldn't think of any other advice columns. I will keep it short. Wedding etiquette... we're going to be in Florida late winter for a fri...
A. 17 December 2016: I don't see anything wrong with catching up with family stuff while you are in Florida for a wedding. As Honeypie has already suggested, plan to stay an extra day or two to make sure your timings and schedules don't clash. Have fun!... (read in full...)
I'm comparing myself to his beautiful ex and feel like I don't measure up!
Q. I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 4 years and I have yet to find any flaws in his looks or personality. In being up front, this is a question based out of my own insecurities and not from something he has done or said. He w...
A. 17 December 2016: She cheated and treated him and his family dreadfully, despite her outward appearances this is a truly ugly woman.
Despite not being able to see inside your husband's head I very much doubt, when he sees images of her, that he thinks he has miss... (read in full...)
My parents are threatening to cause me problems if I don't break up with my younger boyfriend
Q. I am a 23 year old single mother. I have just gotten out of a really bad reltionship with my child's father so the last thing I wanted to do was have any kind of relationship. I know that this sounds corney, but I litteraly fell into it. The pr...
A. 12 December 2016: He is 17, and way too young to be involved with a woman with a child ...
You say your parents are the type to put a tracker on your car .... they are also the type to take you and your child back in, to support you through your breakup, they typ... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 11 December 2016: She is not playing mind games, she has stopped communicating with you because each time she lets you know she needs you to talk with her you shut her up.
Having an abortion, and ESPECIALLY in a country where pre marital sex is frowned upon is ... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 11 December 2016: She is not playing mind games, she has stopped communicating with you because each time she lets you know she needs you to talk with her you shut her up.
Having an abortion, and ESPECIALLY in a country where pre marital sex is frowned upon is ... (read in full...)
He doesn't believe I'm innocent
Q. My boyfriend is accusing me of cheating and I'm honestly not I've even ask to give him a lie detector test, one minute he's down for it then the next he doesn't,he says he knows everything that i did cause he's a scorpio and he's very intuitive... ...
A. 9 December 2016: Why stuff around with somebody who doesn't accept your word and accuses you of cheating when they have nothing but intuition.
Quite frankly if somebody is determined to believe you are not telling the truth there is not a lot you can do to chang... (read in full...)
He doesn't believe I'm innocent
Q. My boyfriend is accusing me of cheating and I'm honestly not I've even ask to give him a lie detector test, one minute he's down for it then the next he doesn't,he says he knows everything that i did cause he's a scorpio and he's very intuitive... ...
A. 9 December 2016: Why stuff around with somebody who doesn't accept your word and accuses you of cheating when they have nothing but intuition.
Quite frankly if somebody is determined to believe you are not telling the truth there is not a lot you can do to chang... (read in full...)
How can I keep safe on New Year's Eve when I will be alone?
Q. I am going to the heart of my city to see theater show on NYE, am catching a bus due to traffic.. is this safe as a single woman alone.? I am alone caching a bus home after the show at 10.30-11pm, before midnights events/fireworks etc.. there will...
A. 9 December 2016: The police in my state/town/area have a facebook page, why don't you check to see if your state does as well, you could also put your question to them, most police forces know the likely trouble spots and make sure those areas have extra police. ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about his relationship with his sister-in-law! Why be secretive with texting each other when I'm not around and defensive if nothing happened?
Q. New to the site! My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and in June, bought a home together. He isn't very close to his family members(some past issues I suppose) but since I've been in his life, he's made a lot more effort to have f...
A. 7 December 2016: How can you say you trust your boyfriend with all your heart when you are so suspicious? You list a whole lot of examples of what you appear to believe are reasons to be suspicious ... the neck massage, the texting, the sneaked hug (SNEAKED HUG), ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being addicted to love?
Q. How can one make love not so important? It seems that I'm always thinking about love (I'm single) and thirty 32 but ever since I can remember it's always been 90 percent of my life- I've lost jobs for men - I've gotten into arguments with my family ...
A. 6 December 2016: My response is based on life's experiences and lots of observation ... I hope you don't find it unkind.
You problem appears to be you are looking for the wrong thing, this is what you say:
"I never feel fuffiled with life until I get a ma... (read in full...)
Why does guy B act different when shy guy A is around?
Q. SHY Guy A has a crush on me but guy B always try to flirt with me , teases me and try to get my attention by talking loud especially around guy A . I have noticed that guy B 's behaviour makes guy A very uncomfortable When guy A is not around then ...
A. 6 December 2016: Because Guy B's behaviour is more exaggerated when Shy Guy A is around I suspect Guy B is making his territory, letting Guy A know where he fall is the Macho Man Stakes ... a bit like a dog piddling every 3 feet where there is another dog around.
... (read in full...)
Why does my wife come home wearing different colored panties? Is she fooling around?
Q. So I have a strange feeling that my wife may be fooling around. Whenever she goes by her GF place, she always comes home with different panties on. Am I wrong for having these thoughts that there could be something here?...
A. 5 December 2016: You question intrigues me, how do you check what colour panties she is wearing when she leaves the house? Are you in the habit of watching her get dressed, if she is wearing pants do you ask her to drop her dacs before she leaves the house so you ... (read in full...)
My mother in law always sides with her son regardless of how badly he treats me
Q. I have recently had an argument with my mother in law my severely disabled son attacked me , he pulled my hair and my head back and forth several times, I now have terrible pains on my back and neck. I can cope with that but during the attack m...
A. 4 December 2016: If your son is physically attacking you it is time to give some serious thought to seeking help outside of the family. I don't understand why you are prepared to be hurt, or as you say, to cope with it. You list your age as between 51 and 59. As ... (read in full...)
My fiance has been offered a job in America
Q. Hi everyone Just came here for some advice really... So I been with my fiancé for eight years, we have a child together who is six, My fiancé has been offered a job but it will mean moving to America permanently, which will mean all of us goin...
A. 4 December 2016: I can understand your anxiety .... moving away from all that you know, and love, can be scary. Its also exciting!
Has your fiance discussed all those issues involved in moving countries, or acknowledged what you will be leaving behind, with you... (read in full...)
Wanting to confess to someone, that I want to date them
Q. I like someone who is three years older than me, were are good freinds and he moves to University next June/May. I don't want my confession to ruin our freindship, I really like him and think I could have something special with him, but I don't know ...
A. 2 December 2016: I think, considering he is going to be leaving in a few months for University, and considering you are still under the age of consent, and considering you are good friends I think you need to let this crush be what it is for now, a crush ... and let ... (read in full...)
I asked him to remove my pics, he said he did, but he hasn't!
Q. Good day, So I've been friends with a guy for roughly a yr plus. He is cool. We talk relationships, future jobs etc. I like our friendship but he wants more and I could tell because he does these things like always tagging me in stuff, texting m...
A. 29 November 2016: Report the images to facebook again, also get family and friends to report them. Just keep reporting the photos as a violation of privacy.
You could also consider putting your request to him in writing, couch it in terms that suggest you have sou... (read in full...)
I am insecure about how my body looks, its affecting my sex life!
Q. Hello, and thanks for reading. I am very apprehensive and insecure when I have sex with my boyfriend. I wish I had the confidence to initiate but everytime I build myself up to initiate, I clam up. I find myself to be beautiful and I love my body ...
A. 29 November 2016: Until a few years ago when a friend, in her 60s, told me she had never felt comfortable with the appearance of hers. I hadn't even realised vagina appearance could be an issue for some women, so when I got home I did some online research. You know ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes me feel so bad about myself
Q. I don't know what to do, ive been with my boyfriend for about a year now and we've lived together for about 5 months, he's mostly a really nice guy, but he doesn't show me any emotional support whatsoever, i have told him i need him to emotionally ...
A. 28 November 2016: Move out, ask your parents if you can go back home while you get on your feet, if that is not a suitable solution and you have no friends or family to help I would suggest you go to your doctor and tell him what's happening, just as you have written ... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to hook up with a single mother?
Q. Recently I broke up with my girlfriend and now I'm single. I know it's too early to hang out with other women but there is this girl she's 09/10 rating hot brunette, younger, she used to be my coworker but she got pregnant, got married and now she's ...
A. 27 November 2016: You are pretty darn gormless .... if she didn't want to hang out with you when you were a married man she sure as hell wont want to be your stop gap hole to stick your dick in until the time comes when its not too early to hang out with other ... (read in full...)
Why don't my parents listen to me?
Q. Just had my retired parents(who live interstate) hang up a phone call in my ear as I criticised them for not listening,(which they dont!)? Im a shift worker and am only available to talk on phone certain times, they do not get this! and feel...
A. 27 November 2016: Okay, why don't you ring them when the time is suitable for you? Unless its in the middle of their night or something. They may feel they are being put on a roster, or being dictated to.
I think if one of my kids yelled at me on the phone I ... (read in full...)
Stuck in the middle and not sure what to do with holidays and family
Q. This Christmas my boyfriend's family have very kindly invited us (me and my two children) to their house for 3 days. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and he is really great with my two boys,and he is a fantastic dad to his own daug...
A. 24 November 2016: Your ex, as you know, is an arsehat!
Remind your children that their Dad didn't see them last Christmas and that he wasn't lonely because he was with (list them!) Granny and Aunt Lucy and Uncle Mick and Sandy and Fred etc. Tell them he will be ... (read in full...)
My dad's new partner won't let him have a relationship with me. is she insecure?
Q. He cheated with her on my mother!!! Then he left her for my mother after 4 weeks of being with her and dumping my mum. Everytime me and my dad arrange to spend time together she seems to put a stop to it. My dad has to call and text me secretly ...
A. 24 November 2016: Phone him at home, if she answers say "I'd like to talk to my Dad please" ... go visit, knock on the door when you know he is home, if he tries to put you off simply say "Dad will you please go and get your balls out of her handbag, I need to spend ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my uncaring in-laws over the holidays?
Q. Just to spare you the medical details: A few weeks ago, out of nowhere my elderly mom had to be hospitalized for a medical emergency. After 5 days she was released to a nursing home, but on Hospice. She Can no longer walk nor hold a conversation, ...
A. 23 November 2016: I am sorry to hear about your mother. I am feeling teary just reading that you don't want to burst into tears, its just over 12 months since that was my reaction to all and any questions about my own mother's health, and the "surprise" unwelcome ... (read in full...)
I want him. How can I make him see that?
Q. So its been six months since me and my guy broke it off. For the best part we were best friends, hot lovers and inseparable. We had silly arguments over my on-line life until he cut it off completely. How do I make him see its him I want....
A. 20 November 2016: I think its too late, the time to show him who you really wanted was when you had those "silly arguments" over your online life ...
The fact you are referring to those arguments as silly indicates you still don't realise he thought they were ser... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is too controlling and I feel like running away
Q. I've been in a relationship with a girl for 3 years now. I lost my job 3 months ago. I've been busy Monday through Friday teaching part-time and learning some new stuff. I told her that I'd be hanging out with my friends on a Friday's night. She ...
A. 19 November 2016: We all need time and places to wind down sometimes, we also need friends we can hang out with on occasion. It doesn't sound like you are choosing your friends over her (did you leave something out?), so what's her problem. If you girlfriend is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to work on our relationship he just wants to please himself
Q. Hello so i have a question i have been with my highschool sweet heart for 20 years things have not been good lately i have tried talking to him about how im feeling and maybe how we can fix our relationship but he says everything is fine with him ...
A. 19 November 2016: Sounds like its time to move on and leave him with his fake pussy.
He obviously isnt interested in fixing the relationship or even giving you the time of day. Do you live together? If you do you might need to develop an "exit plan" start ge... (read in full...)
Troubling situation with overhead neighbors and it appears there is no solution
Q. Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles, Here’s aquestion regarding apartment living… My husband and I bought a small one-bedroom apartment on the last floor in a very old building. Former owner of the building had refurbished the attic above us and t...
A. 15 November 2016: Take your concerns to the co ownership syndicate .... you haven't added your location so we don't know what legal avenues there are available to you, I am going to assume the previous owner complied with any building permits and inspections while he ... (read in full...)
Why do I have mixed feelings about my friend of 20 plus years who wants a relationship with me?
Q. My friend of 20 plus years has a plan to come and visit me. We have been crushing on each other for years now that we have come in contact with one another on Facebook we really want to see each other. We talked about being in a relationship but...
A. 15 November 2016: You are feeling cautious because although you like the idea of a relationship, and marriage, deep down you are aware that crushing for 20 years is not a good basis for a relationship.
He is talking marriage too soon .... this is a red flag. Y... (read in full...)
Why won't my friend give me a chance?
Q. Hi I am a 52 year old man who has been in love with a female friend for 20 yrs I have helped her through many rough times. she does know how I feel but says she doesn't know why she won't give me a chance I know I would make her and her Childrens ...
A. 10 November 2016: Harold, 20 years you have been waiting, I think its time to accept she is never going to give you what you want ...
Somewhere out there is a woman who is looking for what you have to offer, surely after 20 years of waiting you deserve some hap... (read in full...)
Should I try to seduce my brother's wife?
Q. I'm 19 year old and have a huge crush on my brothers wife she's around 28 and I've been in a relationship with her sister she's 23 and whenever I have sex with her I couldn't stop imagining my sister in law and ejaculate thinking of my sister in ...
A. 10 November 2016: Be logical, if you try to seduce your sister in law and you are not successful what do you think will happen .....
will she tell her sister, your girlfriend? That means your relationship is over (you should end it anyway, but not by cheating... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend take any responsibility in our relationship?
Q. Hey dearcupid readers, Just wanted some thoughts on this. I'm a guy and I've been with my girlfriend for almost three years; we are still at university but living together off campus. I love her dearly but recently something that has been going o...
A. 9 November 2016: Don't drive her, she is a responsible adult and a 15 minute walk is no way excessive, if she is old enough to be attending college and living with a male she is old enough to organise getting herself places.
Share the chores, she is not "traditi... (read in full...)
I know she loves me but she will not be in a relationship with me
Q. She has bI am in love with my best friend and i have told her. She said no to being in a relationship. I told her i cant be friends with someone i am attracted to and that we should stop seeing each but she refuses to go out of my life I know s...
A. 8 November 2016: If you have told her that you cannot be friends with somebody you are attracted to, but she wont get out of your life, there is no reason why you cant put her out of your life, or remove yourself from hers.
If you don't want to be friends then why... (read in full...)
Why aren't my parents happy for me and my boyfriend? I feel like I just can't win with them
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 and a half months and things are going great. For the first time in a long time, I havnt been so happy. And my whole family can see that and have all told me that they are happy I found a decent guy. ...
A. 7 November 2016: Can you please make it clear for me, are you hearing these things from your parents directly, or is your little sister "overhearing" and then repeating what she hears to you?
My answer would be different if it were one or the other.... (read in full...)
My landlady still hasn't given me a lease to sign but is charging me extra rent for each time my boyfriend stays over. How do I handle this?
Q. Hey guys. Never been in this situation before and could really use a second opinion or two. I moved into a houseshare with a live-in landlady at the beginning of last month. I started off renting a single room, for which my landlady had sti...
A. 5 November 2016: Look on the bright side, 10 pound a night is cheaper than a hotel ....
Currently there is a verbal agreement, because when she suggested you move to a larger room to accommodate your boyfriend's sleepovers you did not demur or say no.
You hav... (read in full...)
He'll only communicate with me via the dating site
Q. Help, I have been messaging a guy for 4 months on a dating site. We seem to have alot in common and message for hours maybe 2 times a week. But we have never met and i have never heard his voice. He wont share his phone number with me or txt my ...
A. 3 November 2016: After four months it is obvious he is playing with you, and his reluctance to share phone numbers strongly suggests he is either married or in a long term relationship.
Your choice now is to decide if you are willing to play this game for ever and... (read in full...)
How do I move on from these feelings I have for my brother in law?
Q. Hey, I'm 20 years old and have a sister that is nine years older than me. We both have the same mother but different father's. We didn't really grow up together because my mother had her so young so essentially she was raised by my grandma. We've ...
A. 3 November 2016: It seems to me you are trying to explain away your sister as not being a "real" sister because you were not raised together. In your head this might make the situation better ... ie its not quite so bad to be crushing on a non family member's ... (read in full...)
Why is he paying child support to his ex if their laszy 17 year old daughter is living with us?
Q. I'm back again for more advice. A little update on my last situation because this kind of involved it. I am still with my fiance, although the wedding date is no longer may 2017. I felt like we have issues that need worked out before that happens. A ...
A. 1 November 2016: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-talk-to-him-about-these.html
According to your previous question about this situation, your boyfriend WAS bullying your sons AFTER he moved in, so I think you have forgotten that issue wasn't sorted w... (read in full...)
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