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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: My partner moans at me 24/7, interspersed with some occasional flattery and friendship!He is charming to others.He doesn't like unleashing his temper when others are around to overhear particularly if they are male!He non-stop chips at my self-esteem but i have been ignoring it lately, to his increasing frustration, because it is summer and technically holiday season, so i don't think i should let him upset me unduly!Today he was charming to my daughter and had a slanging match with me!I know he is past his sell=by date and he may fall flat on his face unless he has someone else to do all the things i do for him, but he is acting like lowlife and his daily tirade is unwanted.I told him to sort himself out somewhere else because he is too disruptive because he likes volatility and i prefer harmony!I have been giving him money every day but i have run out!My daughter offered me a loan but i turned it down because i would only be loaning it to look after him and i would rather go without!He called me a psycho but i think he is way removed from reality!Does anyone else go through this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2016): Sorry,typo, i mean find not fund!You will soon realise that coughing up a little extra cash here and there soon adds up and will lead to a new line of criticism ..that you don't dress well or similar, and when your money is in his hands he believes he is benevolently spending on you!Also it is extremely unlikely that he will remember to repay you in full and broke days are difficult enough without the trauma factor!So be a bit smarter,remember to value yourself and let this man go because he wants out or reciprocally you do!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2016): Assuming this has become a pattern ,perhaps this guy secretley needs some-one to blame for his mistakes and failings and it looks as if the person he has chosen to outcast in his life is you,while he carries on being charming to everyone else around you!This means you are in the uncomfortable situation of trying not to let his cowardly temper unravel on you and if push comes to shove and things get violent you will have to ask for backup from the law.It might be best to remind him that only he is capable of putting himself in jail!If he finds you so damned aggravating that he feels compelled to let fists start flying then it is better that he is nowhere near you!You should be aiming to fund a man who enjoys your company and doesnt feel the need to undermine or belittle you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2016): Hi
He is 100% abusive. Please read books on abuse. Emotional, mental, verbal and physical. He does them all except physical judging by your post.
Then you may understand what it is you are dealing with, that you are on a hiding to nothing and that this behaviour will never change.
Once you have read the books I suspect you will be leaving him and then his horrible behaviour that is wrecking your life will no longer be a problem :-)
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 August 2016):
 When this creature is in your rear-view mirror of your life.... he will seem much more tolerable!!!!
Dump him! Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 August 2016):
 Why are you still with him? You would CLEARLY be better off without him, emotionally AND financially.
He isn't "acting" like a low-life - he IS a low-life.
It sounds like a miserable relationship that ANYONE could do without.
Why not put yourself FIRST and get out of it? If he is living with and off you - kick him out! If he is not, tell him to go fly a kite, you are done.
YOU can do better, so why aren't you? Why are you settling for this miserable existence? Because he is occasionally flattering you?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (10 August 2016):
 What are you getting out of this relationship? You appear to be already mustering strength to stand up to your partner's bullying by choosing to ignore him.
I cannot understand why you are giving him money. What's that all about?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 August 2016):
 Why do you stay, and why are you giving him money? I doesn't sound like there is anything positive for you in this relation ship nor anything to be gained.
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